ok im bored outta mind tonight. so figured id see who can come up with the best joke. to get start here's an old one but I find reasonably amusing.
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. John Watson went on a camping trip. After sharing a good meal and a bottle of Petrie wine, they retire to their tent for the night.
At about 3 AM, Holmes nudges Watson and asks, "Watson, look up into the sky and tell me what you see?"
Watson said, "I see millions of stars."
Holmes asks, "And, what does that tell you?"
Watson replies, "Astronomically, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Theologically, it tells me that God is great and we are small and insignificant. Horologically, it tells me that it's about 3 AM. Meteorologically, it tells me that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you, Holmes?"
Holmes retorts, "Someone stole our tent."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Mummy balloon, daddy balloon and wee boy balloon.
Mum and dad had enough of the wee boy coming into their bed, so they say to the wee boy, 'right son, you're a big boy now, time to stay in your own bed at night now.'
Wee boy obviously gutted. Really still wants to be in bed with his parents.
Bed time comes and they put the wee boy in his bed. Wee boy thinks to himself, 'if I just wait a little while til they're asleep, I can sneak in between them.'
When M&D are asleep wee boy sneaks in, as he tries to slip in between the two the noise of the rubber squeaking spooks him as he fears it will wake them. Then he had a brain wave. He goes to his dad's knot, unties it, let's out a little air (pffffffffssssssst).
He tried again, but still it's really squeaky. 'Right' he thinks, 'I'll let some air out of mum and have another go'. Unties mums knot, (pfffffffffsssssst). Let's out some air then has another go. Still no good, too squeaky.
So he decides it's him. Needs to let some of his own air out. So, he unties his knot (psssssssfffffft) let's some air out. Tries again and this time it's perfect, he slips right in the middle and gets all snug and cozy.
So the wake in the morning and dad is furious.
Takes the boy aside and gives him hell. 'Look, you're a big boy and you're too old for this now. Last night not only did you let me down, but you let your mum down and also yourself!' |
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