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The BITCH is back...
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Can the following idjits please report to reception NOW!!
ANDYKAY - You have been promoted to gardener, and you need to cut all grass and lady gardens by noon!
CHARLIE - you are on maternity leave
JINTY - Go back to your cell and stay there till further notice
SKYHOOK - Go to bed before midnight ffs!!
DITA - You are in solitary until further notice
ROXY - Still thinking about you!!!! And not in a good way
Rest of the idjits, line up for morning pills before breakfast. We are on purple and yellow today. And stop drawing on the walls!!
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Andy, keys and razors are in the usual place
Kuntlykinkles, you are on shift in exactly 13 minutes... pills are locked away and you do not have keys.
Where's the newbies~?? I have jackets going free xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Andy, keys and razors are in the usual place
Kuntlykinkles, you are on shift in exactly 13 minutes... pills are locked away and you do not have keys.
Where's the newbies~?? I have jackets going free xx"
Bugger... no meds  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Andy, keys and razors are in the usual place
Kuntlykinkles, you are on shift in exactly 13 minutes... pills are locked away and you do not have keys.
Where's the newbies~?? I have jackets going free xx"
new jacket !! I could use one 
do they have nice shiny buckles  |
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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago
Falkirk |
"Andy, keys and razors are in the usual place
Kuntlykinkles, you are on shift in exactly 13 minutes... pills are locked away and you do not have keys.
Where's the newbies~?? I have jackets going free xx
new jacket !! I could use one
do they have nice shiny buckles "
Have you lost yours already bino?? We bedazzled it especially for you! Ratshit will be pissed when she finds out  |
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"Andy, keys and razors are in the usual place
Kuntlykinkles, you are on shift in exactly 13 minutes... pills are locked away and you do not have keys.
Where's the newbies~?? I have jackets going free xx
new jacket !! I could use one
do they have nice shiny buckles
Have you lost yours already bino?? We bedazzled it especially for you! Ratshit will be pissed when she finds out "
SHUTTIT Gardener... you are responsible for bushes till noon!. You have no business discussing buckles. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"ALL jackets have shiny buckles and it is each patient/victim/twonk to ensure that you keep them shiney!"
good job i keep a giant sized tin of brasso in my sport billy bag just in case i have any polishing emergencies |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Andy, keys and razors are in the usual place
Kuntlykinkles, you are on shift in exactly 13 minutes... pills are locked away and you do not have keys.
Where's the newbies~?? I have jackets going free xx
new jacket !! I could use one
do they have nice shiny buckles
Have you lost yours already bino?? We bedazzled it especially for you! Ratshit will be pissed when she finds out "
sssssshhhhhh !!!
Dont tell anyone but im selling them back to the nhs, got a contact at carstairs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Andy, keys and razors are in the usual place
Kuntlykinkles, you are on shift in exactly 13 minutes... pills are locked away and you do not have keys.
Where's the newbies~?? I have jackets going free xx
new jacket !! I could use one
do they have nice shiny buckles
Have you lost yours already bino?? We bedazzled it especially for you! Ratshit will be pissed when she finds out
sssssshhhhhh !!!
Dont tell anyone but im selling them back to the nhs, got a contact at carstairs "
Pffftt....just the one? Loads of my friends live there!  |
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Enough of the lafty hoo ha!! This is not Butlins!!
Kukukuntls - my office!!! NOW!!
Bino - you are on 5 day med missout
Nurse R - You are still the best
FMUMA - you're a fuckin wank
PP - PFFT, What to say??
Other idjits and inmates - limited meds and punishment to follow |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Enough of the lafty hoo ha!! This is not Butlins!!
Kukukuntls - my office!!! NOW!!
Bino - you are on 5 day med missout
Nurse R - You are still the best
FMUMA - you're a fuckin wank
PP - PFFT, What to say??
Other idjits and inmates - limited meds and punishment to follow"
I'm ALWAYS in trouble  ......and it's always that Jinty's fault |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Enough of the lafty hoo ha!! This is not Butlins!!
Kukukuntls - my office!!! NOW!!
Bino - you are on 5 day med missout
Nurse R - You are still the best
FMUMA - you're a fuckin wank
PP - PFFT, What to say??
Other idjits and inmates - limited meds and punishment to follow
I'm ALWAYS in trouble ......and it's always that Jinty's fault "
Oi!!!!!?????!!!!!! *head swivels right round*  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Enough of the lafty hoo ha!! This is not Butlins!!
Kukukuntls - my office!!! NOW!!
Bino - you are on 5 day med missout
Nurse R - You are still the best
FMUMA - you're a fuckin wank
PP - PFFT, What to say??
Other idjits and inmates - limited meds and punishment to follow
I'm ALWAYS in trouble ......and it's always that Jinty's fault
Oi!!!!!?????!!!!!! *head swivels right round* "
Jesus!! Ratshit needs to change your meds!! |
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"Bloody hell bed before midnight. I wasnt even home before midnight last night...
Thats's cos you were a daftie and missed yer bus "
Ach the walk was good exercise Not as fun as the exercise I wanted  but it was good for me |
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"Oooh think I'm a wee bit late. Heads pop's in the room phew no-ones here. "
OH REALLY!!!!
BINO - all brasso and other types of polish are not allowed. You will now spend the next 3 days in solitary.
CHARLIE - You have been reassigned to kitchen duties as you are now eating for two. Please note that cakes/pastries/chocolate has been confiscated.
FUZZBALL - You have been fired!!
JINTLE - Not a feckin chance you are moving from where you are!!!
ALL NEWBIES - Good luck, you will need it.
DITA - Do not question who I am, I have eyes and ears everywhere. My true identity is an amalgamation of many.
Meds dispensed at 7pm tonight, unless I start watching Emmerdale.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If ahm not allowed out who's getting the tea??? There's a man here looking fir pork and cauliflower cheese....with a Banoffi pie chaser! Can you open ma cell please!!!!!   |
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You have 3 mins to line up and open your gobs for meds.
Jinty - pink
Andy - yellow
Roxy - wee white
Fmuma - the whole fuckin lot!!
Charlie - cake
Bino - fairy liquid
Newbies - you have to work for yours and try and get the off the oldies!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You have 3 mins to line up and open your gobs for meds.
Jinty - pink
Andy - yellow
Roxy - wee white
Fmuma - the whole fuckin lot!!
Charlie - cake
Bino - fairy liquid
Newbies - you have to work for yours and try and get the off the oldies!!"
Well I'm here and my mouths open wide |
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Well, it seems that one person (JINTY) has ruined it for you all.
On no account will smuggling and harbouring a member of the opposit sex into your cell, erm room, overnight be tolerated.
Therefore, I am invoking section 97.4, subsection 261.1 of your room agreements, and NO meds will be issued until Friday.
Now shut the fuck up and leave me in peace to swally the meds that Jinty has forced you all to mis..
Ratshit's gonna get off her face!!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Awe ffs!!!!!!! Why do I always get the blame! Right....I'm having the two wee pink pills I squirrelled away from the last med round ......see you next Tuesday!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Jesus
From a former inmate/employee of a lunatic asylum this sounds like home to me.
Ho I've got Prozac, Mirtazipine and some other yellow jelly thing for sale in my cell.
Guys they are a tenner a time, ladies can have 2 pills for a blow job 3 for a shag and I'll let you lose a weekend in medicinal heaven if you spend the night.
Now let's hide this stash from Ratshit, as she will need to search me again and I enjoyed that last anal probe a but too much |
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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago
Falkirk |
"Jesus
From a former inmate/employee of a lunatic asylum this sounds like home to me.
Ho I've got Prozac, Mirtazipine and some other yellow jelly thing for sale in my cell.
Guys they are a tenner a time, ladies can have 2 pills for a blow job 3 for a shag and I'll let you lose a weekend in medicinal heaven if you spend the night.
Now let's hide this stash from Ratshit, as she will need to search me again and I enjoyed that last anal probe a but too much "
I've heard she's ordered her own big Bertha!!
Wendy wouldn't give it up lmao |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Bertha uh oh don't like the sound of that.
Unless it's electrical and sends shock waves through the baw bags. Oh the orgasms are heavenly.
Need tae swally mair jellies |
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Can I have the keys to the ride on mower please? 
Now just the lawns to do.............where did I put that razor...........
