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By *awk3y3 OP Man
over a year ago
West Lothian |
Thought I would share my fav burns snippet here . .
Johnie Lad, Cock up your Beaver:
When first my brave Johnie lad came to this town,
He had a blue bonnet that wanted the crown;
But now he has gotten a hat and a feather,
Hey, brave Johnie lad, cock up your beaver!
Cock up your beaver, and cock it fu' sprush,
We'll over the border, and gie them a brush;
There's somebody there we'll teach better behaviour,
Hey, brave Johnie lad, cock up your beaver!
Disappointingly, “cock” means feather and “beaver” means hat. So the line “cock up your beaver” means a feather in your hat. Aw.
Try saying that to your friends instead of “that's a feather in your hat” and then try explaining to them that actually you are being cultured and using 18th century Scots’ words. I bet they won't believe you. . . .
Anyone got other burns snippets to share ?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can't write poems because I always think they should rhyme, so in honour of William McGonigall the worst poet in the world, here is a limerick:
There was a young lady from Tain
Who had sex on the brain
She liked it again
And again and again
And again and again and again. |
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By *nnyMan
over a year ago
Glasgow |
A more modern take.
Tae a Selfie.
Oh my Goad, am feelin’ great;
Aff tae the dance flair tae gyrate.
Oor kitchen’s lookin’ like a sea
Of glam an’ glitter.
Am clingin’ tae ma bevvy ticht
In case a slitter.
Sippin’ oan ma rum an’ juice;
A must admit, am feelin’ loose,
And dinnae wahnt tae hink aboot
The morra’s heid.
A pray an’ hope ah’ll be jist fine
Efter a feed.
Am lookin’ smashin; whit a stunner!
A drain ma gless doon in a wunner
An’ noo a really feel the need
Tae stert the show;
Grabbin’ ma wee phone fur snaps;
We’re gid tae go.
A summon aw ma lassies through
An’ switch the camera tae front view;
An staun’ an’ gee ma ginger loacks
A soart and fix.
We huddle roon’ an’ wait tae hear
The fast wee clicks.
A shuffle roon’ an’ change ma stance;
We dae some shoats an’ huv a dance,
A feel ma face is braw enough
Fur its ane shoot.
A stagger up and git a pal;
Am pished, nae doot.
Then in the moarn we congregate
An’ wae deep breaths we face oor fate,
An’ try tae fin’ oot whit the Hell
We hink wint oan.
A drag ma erse oot of ma pit
An’ check ma phone.
But then wan photie gee’s me fright;
There must jist no huv bin gid light.
“Git that oaf; ah look like shite!”
Ah flap an’ plead.
But a ken there’s jist nae point;
It’s oan “News Feed”.
There’s mare oanline, a look sae silly;
Am staunin’ wae a blow-up wullie,
Ma cross-eyed heid is gazin’
Intae time an’ space.
Aw shite, ah cannae quite believe
This fine disgrace.
A scrabble tae git them awa’
But hawf ma freens huv seen them aw,
An’ noo a wish a hudnae been
Sae bloody steamin’.
Here come the comments fae ma maw;
Ma cheeks are beamin’. |
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In days o yore we spoke wi gruntin
They got aw their food wi huntin
Chasing giant reptiles wi a spear
An aw the bairns sang in chorus
Were seek o eatin Brontosaurus
Next time bring us sumthin wee'er |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Onny 
Took me while to read and understand...BUT
The punctuation went wobbly when I pasted it but the author deserves praise."
I loved it....I'm still chortling.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Respect tae Onny
Fur a fine wee verse
It kept me readin'
An' oan ma erse
Fur a while I thot
It's awfy silly
An' then I realised
It's jist like Oor Wullie.
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