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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Fugy, Son of Fugy, General Secretary for the NUG (national union of Gnomes) announced this week that huge numbers of Gnomes will join together in striking this week in protest of low wages.
'Payment for Gnomes is a a record low, down 20% on last year. We thought we had ended Gnome discrimination, but obviously we still have some way to go' said Fugy during a press conference by his garden pond. As usual he was dressed in his famous red velvet pantaloons, yellow gingham shirt, green waistcoat and red pointy hat.
There was the sound of frantic barking coming from the boot of his little yellow and red convertible. When questioned about this, Fugy blushed and quickly moved the interview on.
A survey by the British Survey Company revealed that many Gnomes are being payed less than the minimum wage for their work in gardens across the country and in some cases are paid nothing at all.
'I've always thought of our job as 'conceptual performance' and considering the fact many Gnomes work 24 hours 7days a week this wage issue really is a concern. All we ask for is enough money to feed our families and replace our fishing rods and at the moment this just isn't possible.' Said an increasingly anxious Fugy. The barking was getting more frantic.
In order to cope with the expected chaos caused by this strike action the Army has announced it will be deploying soldiers to take the Gnomes' positions untill such time as they return to full time work.
At the end of the interview, Fugy ran to his car as fast as his little hairy legs would carry him. He picked up a rope, ball gag and tin of Pedigree chum on the way before speeding off in a cloud of dust and fish scales........  |
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