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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Local Arbroath woman Gloria Bumsrush, 48, has become something of a local celebrity after racing to the top of the book charts with her novel 'Gnome Offender'.
Not surprisingly, the inspiration for the book came from looking out her window at the little fella by her garden pond.
"I was having problems with my septic tank - shite leaking out all over the place. So I called the local council and they sent around a little chap in red velvet pantaloons, yellow gingham shirt, green waistcoat and red pointy hat. He happened to be on an offenders rehabilitation scheme", she said.
"I invited him in for a cup of tea and he told me lots of tales from his very recent past experiences that I then formed into an erotic-crime novel I was writing".
'Gnome Offender' follows the adventures of amateur crime-fighting gnome, Fugy, Son of Fugy - a short, scrawny figure with a dark and shady past involving dogs, Chinese Triads, motorcycle gangs, oriental fisherman and an international flower importing crime syndicate.
One night while on a major stakeout in a garden, Fugy is a witness to crime most foul - the murder of the plastic heron by the pond by an armless, plaster of Paris Venus DeMilo garden statuette.
Fugy falls in love with the statuette but is torn between his love for her and his duty to protect the citizens of Arbraoth's garden ponds.
"It's 90% based on truth", adds Gloria.
The book has been snapped up by the same lot that bought The DaVinci Code and other meandering shite.
Gloria has even started work on her follow up:
"I've had another septic tank leak and the same council lad is back around again. I'll pick what brains he has and maybe get some idea's for further Fugy, Son of Fugy tales", she says.
In all crap bookstores now......woof....Get down Fugy....  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Pmsl... Mr Grizzly, you have the mind and imagination of a best selling author, and once again you put a wee grin on this truckers face!!! The ponds in Arbroath are safe with fugy on the case, lol  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"and you're still no breaking yer promise to view - yer no picking on him . instead you're turning the fugster into a hero - --- shame on you !!!! "
....... Am an Angel |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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LOL Stu he'll be wearing his bobbly off white y-fronts on top of the pantaloons at this rate !!!
Is it a man, is it a dog shagger nooo its super fugy (son of fugy) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"LOL Stu he'll be wearing his bobbly off white y-fronts on top of the pantaloons at this rate !!!
Is it a man, is it a dog shagger nooo its super fugy (son of fugy) "
I think you took that too far!!!, lol |
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By *adcowWoman
over a year ago
kirkcaldy |
"and you're still no breaking yer promise to view - yer no picking on him . instead you're turning the fugster into a hero - --- shame on you !!!!
....... Am an Angel"
yeh right and i'm a virgin !  |
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