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THE ULTIMATE BLOWJOB JOKE POST ;) X
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Q: What's the difference between a penis and a bonus?
A: Your wife will always blow your bonus!
Q: What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree?
A: Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blowjob!
Q: Why did God give men penises?
A: So they'd have at least one way to shut a woman up.
Q: Why is being in the military like a blow-job?
A. The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.
Q: What do you call a guy who cries while he masturbates?
A: A tearjerker.
Q: How can you tell which is the head nurse?
A: She's the one with the dirty knees.
Q: Which of the following words does not belong: meat, eggs, wife, blowjob.
A: Blowjob. You can beat your meat, eggs, and wife; but you can’t beat a blowjob.
Q: Why did the woman smile when she walked down the marriage aisle?
A: She realized she gave her last blowjob. Q: How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?
A: Pick him up and suck on his cock! Q: What’s the best thing about a blow job?
A: The ten minutes of silence!
Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
A: Kick his sister in the jaw.
Q: What does tightrope walking and getting a blowjob from your grandmother have in common?
A: You don't look down Q: What do you call ball's on your chin? A: A dick in your mouth!
Q: Why do men pay more for car insurance?
A: Women don't get blowjobs while they're driving. Q: What's the difference between pink and purple?
A: The grip! Q: Did you hear about the blonde who broke her nose on a steering wheel?
A: She was trying to blow the horn. Q: What's so good about an Ethiopian blow job?
A: You just KNOW she'll swallow! Q: Why did the blonde give a blow job after sex?
A: She wanted to have her cock and eat it too.
Q: What did the banana say to the vibrator?
A: Why are YOU shaking? She's going to eat me!
Q: What is the difference between oral and anal sex?
A: Oral sex makes your day and Anal sex makes your whole weak.
Q: What's the difference between love, true love, and showing off?
A: Spit, swallow, and gargle, Q: What’s better than a rose on your piano?
A: Tulips on your organ.
Q: Why doesn't Tom Cruise eat bananas?
A: He can't find the zipper!
Q: Whats comes after 69?
A: Mouthwash.
Q: What's the definition of a Yankee?
A: Same thing as a "quickie,"only you do it yourself.
Q: What's sicker than having sex with a pregnant woman?
A: Having sex with a pregnant woman and getting a bj by the baby.
Q: What is the square root of 69?
A: Ate something!
Q: Why do blondes give such good blowjobs?
A: Because that's what they train for all their lives.
Q: How do you know if your boyfriend has
a high sperm count?
A: You have to chew before you swallow!
Q: Whats the differance between a roast beef sandwich and a blow job?
A: You don’t know? soooo...you wanna do lunch tomorrow?
Q: How can you tell when you've had a really good blowjob?
A: You have to pull the sheets out of your ass.
Q: Why did the blonde fail at being a prostitute?
A: Because she gave blow-jobs literally.
Q: Why is sex like a game of bridge?
A: If you have a good hand, you don't need a partner.
Q: Why is 68 the maximum speed for sex?
A: Because at 69 they blow a rod!
Q: What’s the definition of trust?
A: Two cannibals giving each other a blowjob.
Q: What’s the difference between pink and purple?
A: The grip!
Q: What does 69 equal?
A: A couple of mouths full.
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xxx
made me chuckle 