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ANN SUMMERS

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By *akedninja OP   Man  over a year ago

edinburgh

A man walks into Ann Summers

The Sexy Cothes Shop to

purchase some see-through

lingerie for his wife.

He is shown several possibilities

that range from £50 to £150 in

price, the more see-through, the

higher the price.

He opts for the sheerest item,

pays the £150 and takes the

lingerie home.

He presents it to his wife and asks

her to go upstairs put it on and

model it for him..

Upstairs the wife thinks 'I have an

idea. It's so see-through that it

might as well be nothing.

I won't put it on - do the

modelling naked, return it

tomorrow and get a £150 refund

and keep the money for myself'.

So she appears naked at the top

of the stairs and strikes a pose.

The husband says 'Fuck me, it

wasn't that creased in the shop'

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By *he Enigmatic MagnetMan  over a year ago

Glasgow West

That's not a joke, it happened to me!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"That's not a joke, it happened to me! "

so your the one

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By *he Enigmatic MagnetMan  over a year ago

Glasgow West

The one and only!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"The one and only! "

Is your name Chesney Hawkes?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Cheesy who ?

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By *akedninja OP   Man  over a year ago

edinburgh


"That's not a joke, it happened to me! "
who said it was a joke,I'm just sharing an excerpt from your autobiography

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By *akedninja OP   Man  over a year ago

edinburgh


"Cheesy who ? "
that fella from neighbours that sung that cheesy song about being the one and only and you can't take that from me,I am the one and only,there's no one I'd rather be not that I know all the words or anything lol

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Cheesy who ? that fella from neighbours that sung that cheesy song about being the one and only and you can't take that from me,I am the one and only,there's no one I'd rather be not that I know all the words or anything lol"

could be worse it could be daphne and celeste lyrics "ooohhh stick you, your momma too and your daddy"

Bursts into song

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By *he Enigmatic MagnetMan  over a year ago

Glasgow West


"That's not a joke, it happened to me! who said it was a joke,I'm just sharing an excerpt from your autobiography"

Hey, if you want serialisation rights, it'll cost you!

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By *he Enigmatic MagnetMan  over a year ago

Glasgow West


"Cheesy who ? that fella from neighbours that sung that cheesy song about being the one and only and you can't take that from me,I am the one and only,there's no one I'd rather be not that I know all the words or anything lol

could be worse it could be daphne and celeste lyrics "ooohhh stick you, your momma too and your daddy"

Bursts into song "

1: He wasn't from Neighbours. His dad was 60's pop musician Chip Hawkes

2: Who the f... are Daphne and Celeste?

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By *akedninja OP   Man  over a year ago

edinburgh


"Cheesy who ? that fella from neighbours that sung that cheesy song about being the one and only and you can't take that from me,I am the one and only,there's no one I'd rather be not that I know all the words or anything lol

could be worse it could be daphne and celeste lyrics "ooohhh stick you, your momma too and your daddy"

Bursts into song "

can't say I'm familiar with that one but after watching "saving mrs banks" the other day I've got that Mary poppins spoon full of sugar stuck in me head, just a spoon full of sugar makes the medicine go down, can't help singing it out aloud but you cant imagine the stares of contempt I've been getting at the diabetes clinic I

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By *akedninja OP   Man  over a year ago

edinburgh


"That's not a joke, it happened to me! who said it was a joke,I'm just sharing an excerpt from your autobiography

Hey, if you want serialisation rights, it'll cost you! "

cost me what? A mars bar?

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By *vbride1963TV/TS  over a year ago

E.K . Glasgow


"That's not a joke, it happened to me! who said it was a joke,I'm just sharing an excerpt from your autobiography

Hey, if you want serialisation rights, it'll cost you! cost me what? A mars bar?"

Funsize one LOL

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By *akedninja OP   Man  over a year ago

edinburgh

He was in neighbours aswell wasn't he?he was an ozzy aswell
"Cheesy who ? that fella from neighbours that sung that cheesy song about being the one and only and you can't take that from me,I am the one and only,there's no one I'd rather be not that I know all the words or anything lol

could be worse it could be daphne and celeste lyrics "ooohhh stick you, your momma too and your daddy"

Bursts into song

1: He wasn't from Neighbours. His dad was 60's pop musician Chip Hawkes

2: Who the f... are Daphne and Celeste?"

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By *akedninja OP   Man  over a year ago

edinburgh


"That's not a joke, it happened to me! who said it was a joke,I'm just sharing an excerpt from your autobiography

Hey, if you want serialisation rights, it'll cost you! cost me what? A mars bar?

Funsize one LOL "

extra extra large with added nuts for the nutters

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By *he Enigmatic MagnetMan  over a year ago

Glasgow West


"That's not a joke, it happened to me! who said it was a joke,I'm just sharing an excerpt from your autobiography

Hey, if you want serialisation rights, it'll cost you! cost me what? A mars bar?"

Snickers. Kingsized.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Cheesy who ? that fella from neighbours that sung that cheesy song about being the one and only and you can't take that from me,I am the one and only,there's no one I'd rather be not that I know all the words or anything lol

could be worse it could be daphne and celeste lyrics "ooohhh stick you, your momma too and your daddy"

Bursts into song

1: He wasn't from Neighbours. His dad was 60's pop musician Chip Hawkes

2: Who the f... are Daphne and Celeste?"

A1 the one and only was in film buddys sonng

A2 short lived duo from the 90s

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By *akedninja OP   Man  over a year ago

edinburgh


"That's not a joke, it happened to me! who said it was a joke,I'm just sharing an excerpt from your autobiography

Hey, if you want serialisation rights, it'll cost you! cost me what? A mars bar?

Snickers. Kingsized. "

how about a mars bar in batter?

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By *he Enigmatic MagnetMan  over a year ago

Glasgow West


"That's not a joke, it happened to me! who said it was a joke,I'm just sharing an excerpt from your autobiography

Hey, if you want serialisation rights, it'll cost you! cost me what? A mars bar?

Snickers. Kingsized. how about a mars bar in batter?"

No, no good for my Cholestorol!

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By *akedninja OP   Man  over a year ago

edinburgh


"Cheesy who ? that fella from neighbours that sung that cheesy song about being the one and only and you can't take that from me,I am the one and only,there's no one I'd rather be not that I know all the words or anything lol

could be worse it could be daphne and celeste lyrics "ooohhh stick you, your momma too and your daddy"

Bursts into song "

lol

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By *akedninja OP   Man  over a year ago

edinburgh


"That's not a joke, it happened to me! who said it was a joke,I'm just sharing an excerpt from your autobiography

Hey, if you want serialisation rights, it'll cost you! cost me what? A mars bar?

Snickers. Kingsized. how about a mars bar in batter?

No, no good for my Cholestorol! "

well how about a nice and healthy juicy apple then?

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By *he Enigmatic MagnetMan  over a year ago

Glasgow West


"That's not a joke, it happened to me! who said it was a joke,I'm just sharing an excerpt from your autobiography

Hey, if you want serialisation rights, it'll cost you! cost me what? A mars bar?

Snickers. Kingsized. how about a mars bar in batter?

No, no good for my Cholestorol! well how about a nice and healthy juicy apple then?"

It has to be the snickers. It's the only way I'll get my nots on Fab...

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By *akedninja OP   Man  over a year ago

edinburgh

There are a fair few nutty nuts on here to say the least lol
"That's not a joke, it happened to me! who said it was a joke,I'm just sharing an excerpt from your autobiography

Hey, if you want serialisation rights, it'll cost you! cost me what? A mars bar?

Snickers. Kingsized. how about a mars bar in batter?

No, no good for my Cholestorol! well how about a nice and healthy juicy apple then?

It has to be the snickers. It's the only way I'll get my nots on Fab... "

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By *akedninja OP   Man  over a year ago

edinburgh

Your nuts
"That's not a joke, it happened to me! who said it was a joke,I'm just sharing an excerpt from your autobiography

Hey, if you want serialisation rights, it'll cost you! cost me what? A mars bar?

Snickers. Kingsized. how about a mars bar in batter?

No, no good for my Cholestorol! well how about a nice and healthy juicy apple then?

It has to be the snickers. It's the only way I'll get my nots on Fab... "

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By *he Enigmatic MagnetMan  over a year ago

Glasgow West

I know...

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By *akedninja OP   Man  over a year ago

edinburgh


"I know... "
I'm allergic to nuts

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By *he Enigmatic MagnetMan  over a year ago

Glasgow West


"I know... I'm allergic to nuts "

What the hell are you doing here then??!!

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By *akedninja OP   Man  over a year ago

edinburgh


"I know... I'm allergic to nuts

What the hell are you doing here then??!! "

looking for trouble lol

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By *he Enigmatic MagnetMan  over a year ago

Glasgow West


"I know... I'm allergic to nuts

What the hell are you doing here then??!! looking for trouble lol"

You'll have to tell us where you keep your EpiPen® !

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By *akedninja OP   Man  over a year ago

edinburgh


"I know... I'm allergic to nuts

What the hell are you doing here then??!! looking for trouble lol

You'll have to tell us where you keep your EpiPen® !"

what's that then?

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By *he Enigmatic MagnetMan  over a year ago

Glasgow West

What you get stabbed with you have Annie Filaxis...

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By *akedninja OP   Man  over a year ago

edinburgh


"What you get stabbed with you have Annie Filaxis... "
annie who? lol

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By *he Enigmatic MagnetMan  over a year ago

Glasgow West


"What you get stabbed with you have Annie Filaxis... annie who? lol"

That's what she called herself on her profile...

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By *he Enigmatic MagnetMan  over a year ago

Glasgow West

[Removed by poster at 28/11/13 00:15:08]

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By *akedninja OP   Man  over a year ago

edinburgh


"What you get stabbed with you have Annie Filaxis... annie who? lol

That's what she called herself on her profile... "

i think someone just stabbed my brain,the world is a big mushroom that tastes like the color purple and i picture whoopi goldberg naked and she looks like oprAh with drealocks and afro pubes and some big booty titties bitties hmmm i can hear the barry white in the background,time to dim the lights and gey down and durty

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By *he Enigmatic MagnetMan  over a year ago

Glasgow West

I think you must be on dry roast peanuts.

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By *akedninja OP   Man  over a year ago

edinburgh


"I think you must be on dry roast peanuts. "
how ever did you know?! coz serioulsy i am! lol

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By *he Enigmatic MagnetMan  over a year ago

Glasgow West

I am the Walter White of the legume world...

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By *akedninja OP   Man  over a year ago

edinburgh


"I am the Walter White of the legume world..."
walter mitty of the lego world more like lol

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By *he Enigmatic MagnetMan  over a year ago

Glasgow West


"I am the Walter White of the legume world...walter mitty of the lego world more like lol"

I only get to play with Lego when I see the rug rats.

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