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I am not

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By *uitar_antihero OP Man over a year ago

Glasgow

I am not the owner of a bbc.

I am not ripped.

I am not classically handsome.

I am not vwe or vvwe.

I am not going to make every woman squirt.

I am not going to be taller than you if you are 5'6 & like to wear 6inch heels.

I am not clean shaven all over.

I am not in possession of a firemans uniform.

I am not going to throw you around the room.

I think that about covers all the usual requirements.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Probably better off putting this on your profile than on here fella.

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By *uitar_antihero OP Man over a year ago

Glasgow

Nah, this'll do just fine

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By *mumaWoman over a year ago

Livingston

We know... tell us something new!!!

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By *uitar_antihero OP Man over a year ago

Glasgow

I am not here to tell you new things

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Gutted!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

That's me out

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I am not the owner of a bbc.

I am not ripped.

I am not classically handsome.

I am not vwe or vvwe.

I am not going to make every woman squirt.

I am not going to be taller than you if you are 5'6 & like to wear 6inch heels.

I am not clean shaven all over.

I am not in possession of a firemans uniform.

I am not going to throw you around the room.

I think that about covers all the usual requirements.

Can you make cake and hot choc?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I am not the owner of a bbc.

I am not ripped.

I am not classically handsome.

I am not vwe or vvwe.

I am not going to make every woman squirt.

I am not going to be taller than you if you are 5'6 & like to wear 6inch heels.

I am not clean shaven all over.

I am not in possession of a firemans uniform.

I am not going to throw you around the room.

I think that about covers all the usual requirements.

Can you make cake and hot choc?"

yea cake will get you places

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By *ndykayMan over a year ago

Falkirk

Cake???????????

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Mmmmmmmm cake

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By *eliciouslySalaciousCouple over a year ago

Glasgow

"Can you make cake and hot choc?"

We never quite got round to cake (...) but we can vouch for his fajita making skills :p

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Cake provides so many double entendre opportunities

iced buns

chocolate fingers

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Cake provides so many double entendre opportunities

iced buns

chocolate fingers

Sticky cream donuts

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By *ndykayMan over a year ago

Falkirk

"Mmmmmmmm cake

Errrrr excuse me - I GAVE you cakes and what did I get in return???

(oh yeah, I remember now

)

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Mmmmmmmm cake

Errrrr excuse me - I GAVE you cakes and what did I get in return???

(oh yeah, I remember now

Yeah a big squidgy huggle ... Huh can't believe you almost forgot

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By *ndykayMan over a year ago

Falkirk

"Mmmmmmmm cake

Errrrr excuse me - I GAVE you cakes and what did I get in return???

(oh yeah, I remember now

)

Yeah a big squidgy huggle ... Huh can't believe you almost forgot

Gonna get a really BIG cake next time - because you never know

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By *uitar_antihero OP Man over a year ago

Glasgow

"Can you make cake and hot choc?

We never quite got round to cake (...) but we can vouch for his fajita making skills :p"

I am not here to make cake. Apart from you guys, you can have cake

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Glum now. Feel so unloved.

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By *ndykayMan over a year ago

Falkirk

"Glum now. Feel so unloved.

Awwwwwww come here, I'll give you a furry cuddle and some cake too

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I make a cracking rich chocolate and raspberry muffin. So I'm not completely useless apparently

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

oooh muffin

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I really shouldn't eat cake. I'd prob put back on all the weight I've lost.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You're still hot ladyIce. You can have cake

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By *he Enigmatic MagnetMan over a year ago

Glasgow West

"Glum now. Feel so unloved.

Awwwwwww come here, I'll give you a furry cuddle and some cake too

Don't wear anything woolly for the furry cuddle, it'll be like Velcro...

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By *he Enigmatic MagnetMan over a year ago

Glasgow West

In answer to "I am not"...

I say "Human".

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By *issNaughtyxxxWoman over a year ago

Aberdeen

Put the things you ARE, instead of the things that you Are'nt.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Add to that Probably outside your 18-99 age parameters

Although I clearly state 100% straight some people think I should suck cock.

I am a trained chef amongst other dubious careers I've embarked upon so making cake or any other food source

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By *uitar_antihero OP Man over a year ago

Glasgow

I am not thinking that the intended humour of this post came across as intended

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I am not mystic meg but my customers seem to think I am.

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By *ndykayMan over a year ago

Falkirk

"I am not thinking that the intended humour of this post came across as intended"

You made me smile as always

Now where's my frigging cakes????

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By *ndykayMan over a year ago

Falkirk

"I am not mystic meg but my customers seem to think I am."

You look much better than septic peg!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You not seen me in my work gear.

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By *uitar_antihero OP Man over a year ago

Glasgow

Ok,so explaining a joke takes away the humour but anyway....

This 'I am not' post was supposed to be a tongue in cheek dig at all the profiles that are adamant you must be vwe, or must be in uniform or whatever.

It seems I fluffed it. Oh well.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Some of us knew exactly what you meant

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By *ustcutieWoman over a year ago

edinburgh

Made me

especially some of the posts

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By *uitar_antihero OP Man over a year ago

Glasgow

"Some of us knew exactly what you meant "

I hoped so. My comment was for those who didn't get it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Did someone mention cake??

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By *ndykayMan over a year ago

Falkirk

"Did someone mention cake??

Oi you - that's my line

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By *he Enigmatic MagnetMan over a year ago

Glasgow West

"I am not thinking that the intended humour of this post came across as intended"

I posted a similar status last week. It seemed to confuse a few people too

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