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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Its one thing to mess up a meet, feel daft, guilty, tell yourself you wished you had shut up instead of say something you instincively knew would regret.
To then gradually see how regretable it was, sent to coventry, served up deafening silences,with people you used to enjoy a fun fab swinging rapor with.
Deal with friends you knew for years, side with people they opt to put store in they have only known a short time.
Guess im saying, swinging is a very fikkle scene, its very admiable, people declaring they have found friends for life etc.
I've always been here for the thrills, excitement, fun of it.
Whats "like a disease" ? The way others can quickly ruin that outlook.  |
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NEVER apologise for how you feel,its like saying sorry for being real.
Sadly on fab there will always be someone who wants to stab you in the back for one reason or another.
Its upto you as an individual how you deal with these situations if people want to believe whats being said without finding out the facts.
Just be true to yourself because the truth will out in the end.   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"NEVER apologise for how you feel,its like saying sorry for being real.
Sadly on fab there will always be someone who wants to stab you in the back for one reason or another.
Its upto you as an individual how you deal with these situations if people want to believe whats being said without finding out the facts.
Just be true to yourself because the truth will out in the end. "
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"NEVER apologise for how you feel,its like saying sorry for being real.
Sadly on fab there will always be someone who wants to stab you in the back for one reason or another.
Its upto you as an individual how you deal with these situations if people want to believe whats being said without finding out the facts.
Just be true to yourself because the truth will out in the end. "
Thank you, fantastic advice, appreciated. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've learned to live for the day, not worry as much and try to enjoy every second. Life is too short. Learned that lesson last year and will never forget it. Only now am I finally starting to understand it and do this. There will always be people there to criticise but as long as I have my true friends in my corner I will be fine. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Because we are all human...and fallible things happen and we are sometimes left with huge regrets and the consequences of our actions. Often peoples perceptions of us can change. It has happened to me many times but I believe staying true to oneself is the only way to go. What has hurt me in the past is how readily others will judge. No one has that right. But worst and most hurtful of all is when you have no earthly idea what you have done to upset someone.....its horrible to feel that you're the "disease"...... |
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Its better to regret the things that you've done than to regret the things you never did do nothing ventured nothing gained as I always say,I'm inclined to agree with your rather astute observation about friendships on here being somewhat fickle,despite the fact that I'm particularly selective of the company I keep I've had the occasion to meet some truely wonderful folk on here and establish a cracking friendship only for them to then blank you at a social or something lol people are crazy
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Because we are all human...and fallible things happen and we are sometimes left with huge regrets and the consequences of our actions. Often peoples perceptions of us can change. It has happened to me many times but I believe staying true to oneself is the only way to go. What has hurt me in the past is how readily others will judge. No one has that right. But worst and most hurtful of all is when you have no earthly idea what you have done to upset someone.....its horrible to feel that you're the "disease"......"
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Never a truer word said i always keep my things private and end up the bad guy as others tell there tales of how they see things forgetting their own part in things as humans we want to be believed so cast anyone else in negative light but hey ho some know the truth and simple facts are truth always outs in the end this you can guarentee  |
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"I never bite my tongue. For 1, it hurts. Apparently."
I have a woman who bites my tongue for me.
If a meet goes wrong, for any reason, then, reflect, learn, and move on. Fixating won't fix anything. Learn and live. |
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By *andACouple
over a year ago
glasgow |
I've gotta admit, we've never had a problem on here with backstabbing etc.
We only meet very occasionally though and don't do socials etc and that's probably the reason. I think, and I could be wrong here, the problem is when 'friendships' are formed with various people who all swing and socialise in certain groups etc and sometimes the lines can be blurred. I've seen too many posts on here where people make statements about being spoken about behind their back and hearing things that others have said about them and I can't understand it.
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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago
In a crisp poke on the A814 |
I have had to block people on here due to them TRYING to turn me against certain people I myself have never met!!!!
I make up my own mind about others...
IF anyone were to treat me with silence or anything else described in the OP......How much do you think I would care?
Im only interested in meeting people who can think for themselves  |
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By *anictechCouple
over a year ago
Glasgow - ish ;-) |
The nature of swing is to back Gossip/backstab. Not for all but for a good half of the swing population. Bitching happens for whatever reason.. Of the 14 years we have on and off swung? It has happened to us about 3 times, mostly people make up their own minds, thankfully. Saddly the people that have told stories/gossiped about us has not only been hurtufull but also 99% are untrue stories. The remaining 1% was fun though
These days there is a new name for these people, “Cyber bullies”
It does not help having a name for them as such, but it does help putting things into perspecective. In the big picture? Who really gives a proverbial; shit?
Be yourself/s. Do what you want to do. To hell with the rest of the world.
I can count on one hand the friends we have in Fab, the rest are merely acquaintance’s.
Remember why you are in Fab, it was never to find life long friends, if it is? Your on the wrong site..
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm not entirely sure what the OP is on about but, if the gist is that you have to bite your tongue to stay in the gang, I wonder how good a gang it is in the first place."
Well said Zorro
Buboo |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The nature of swing is to back Gossip/backstab. Not for all but for a good half of the swing population. Bitching happens for whatever reason.. Of the 14 years we have on and off swung? It has happened to us about 3 times, mostly people make up their own minds, thankfully. Saddly the people that have told stories/gossiped about us has not only been hurtufull but also 99% are untrue stories. The remaining 1% was fun though
These days there is a new name for these people, “Cyber bullies”
It does not help having a name for them as such, but it does help putting things into perspecective. In the big picture? Who really gives a proverbial; shit?
Be yourself/s. Do what you want to do. To hell with the rest of the world.
I can count on one hand the friends we have in Fab, the rest are merely acquaintance’s.
Remember why you are in Fab, it was never to find life long friends, if it is? Your on the wrong site..
"
That was the main point i made in the original post, "excitement and fun of it". Friendships made were little bonuses.
Lots list it as almost a priority, simply to make friends.
Either way, im not knocking either motive to be here, i just mean its been one hell of a learning curve this year. |
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By *nnyMan
over a year ago
Glasgow |
"Never let it bother you, it truly is not that important in the grand scheme of things.
"
You need only read some of the contributions to our Forums to see that some Fabsters think its VERY important indeed. |
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