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A Little Weekend Sexism, aka Why Men Are Never Depressed.
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A Lady friend just sent me this:
What do you expect from such a simple lifestyle?
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack...
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress £5000. Tux rental-£100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is £8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough..
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes..
Everything on your face stays its original colour.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, even decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one colour for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
(Don't shoot the messenger!)
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The Rebuttals:
-Your last name stays put.
-No one's forcing you to change yours.
-The garage is all yours.
-According to whom?
-Wedding plans take care of themselves.
-Who says you need 500 plus guests, extravagant flowers that match the bridesmaids dresses, bridesmaids, expensive band, seating arrangements and other expensive stuff.
-Chocolate is just another snack...
-Unisex.
-You can never be pregnant.
-Alright, I'll give you that.
-You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
-By all means, go right ahead.
-You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
-By all means, go right ahead.
-Car mechanics tell you the truth.
-Auto Repair and Maintenance for dummies, 14.99 for Kindle, 15.68 for paperback.
-The world is your urinal.
-Bushes are your friends.
-You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
-Selective.
-You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
-Fifty, fifty.
-Same work, more pay.
-Rich husband, no work.
-Wrinkles add character.
-Cougars.
-Wedding dress £5000. Tux rental-£100.
-Already covered.
-People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
-I'm 6'3''. People always stare at my chest when they're talking to me.
-New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
-Cause we buy them for comfort, not because they match the top we picked up yesterday.
-One mood all the time.
-Bullshit.
-Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
-Redact gossips and you can shave 10 seconds off of that.
-You know stuff about tanks.
-You know stuff about tank tops.
-A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
-Efficiency.
-You can open all your own jars.
-You can have people open them for you and save yourselves blisters.
-You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
-But three times the grievance for the slightest act of foolishness.
-If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
-Don't get mad, get even.
-Your underwear is £8.95 for a three-pack.
-Real men go commando.
-Three pairs of shoes are more than enough..
-Every day footwear, sports, special occasions. Again, efficiency.
-You almost never have strap problems in public.
-Shoulder it.
-You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes..
-Yes, we are. We're just better at ignoring them.
-Everything on your face stays its original colour.
-Clearly you've never been in a bar fight.
-The same hairstyle lasts for years, even decades.
-If the bike ain't broke...
-You only have to shave your face and neck.
-Not true.
-You can play with toys all your life.
-Phallic shaped and vibrating.
-One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one colour for all seasons.
-Black goes with everything.
-You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
-You can wear shorts if you didn't care what other people thought about your legs.
-You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.
-Yeeeah, I don't think so.
-You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.
-If by freedom you mean consenting to endless bitching about how they scratch when we make out, sure we do.
-You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
-The reason it takes you longer is because it's called shopping. |
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