Well everyone's heard of the torture garden event so I figured Id open my garden for those that wish to be tortured by the exertion of doing some hardcore gardening.....sore backs galore! And if your a glutton for punishment then I'll add to the suffering of a labour intensive 12 hour shift of pulling stubborn s by whipping you constantly! Id even be so kind as to facilitate you with a plastic cup so that you could collect droplets of your perspiration to quench your thirst as im sure you will find that im a hard task master will all willing participants please form an orderly line and state your interest below ...your pain is my pleasure!!!!! Lol  |
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"Ha! I laugh in the face of your stubborn s, I have a flamethrower!  "
ha you've clearly never encountered Japanese knot then...nor have you seen "little shop of horrors" have you? "feed me Seymour!" haha I've been away from my place for 4 months now and I've come back to find that it's a jungle..im gonna put on a loin cloth and swing from the tree's in true fabswingers fashion whilst shouting...."me Tarzan...you Jane!" and that other weird yodelling noise he makes although im not sure how to spell it here lol |
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"Ha! I laugh in the face of your stubborn s, I have a flamethrower! "
im afraid I can't allow you to use a flamethrower as that would defeat the purpose of it being a torture garden...besides my s are fire resistant!!! ...in place of a flamethrower id allow for you to use a small scissors to cut each blade of grass individually |
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"Ha! I laugh in the face of your stubborn s, I have a flamethrower! im afraid I can't allow you to use a flamethrower as that would defeat the purpose of it being a torture garden...besides my s are fire resistant!!! ...in place of a flamethrower id allow for you to use a small scissors to cut each blade of grass individually"
Sounds like an interesting job. What is the hourly rate? |
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"Oh yes, had Japanese knot in one of my previous gardens. That was fun.... 
Who is playing the part of Jane in your jungle japes?"
do you know where I could purchase some Japanese knot ..I tried the local garden center to no avail...you wouldnt happen to have any cuttings now would you? Lol hey nevermind who's gonna play Jane...I wanna know who's gonna play tarzans chimpanzee? Any takers? Lol |
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"Ha! I laugh in the face of your stubborn s, I have a flamethrower! im afraid I can't allow you to use a flamethrower as that would defeat the purpose of it being a torture garden...besides my s are fire resistant!!! ...in place of a flamethrower id allow for you to use a small scissors to cut each blade of grass individually
Sounds like an interesting job. What is the hourly rate?"
the hourly rate is whatever sweat you can collect in a plastic cup to quench your thirst ...that & a multitude of whiplashes from my cat of nine tails whip how does that sound? |
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"It will have to be someone hairy....."
yea I was thinking that,also preference will be given to those with extremely bad posture or resembling qausimodo ....failing that we can all contribute shaved pubes & superglue for the lucky candidate should he/she be hairless |
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"Once they're done in your garden can you send them over to mine please.
New house with a 150ft jungle out the back - my wee flymo has got no chance  "
hmm sounds like a "torture in my garden" franchise opportunity here lol |
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