FabSwingers.com > Forums > Scotland > court is now in session
court is now in session
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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The right honourable Dr bru is sitting
Wot cases
Do we have to look at today
Cattle rustlers. People in sheeps clothing
Cake theft. identity theft
Identity crisis. Fakes. Excessive wine drinking
Post hoggers, unregistered cliques. Peeps impersonating comedians
Wots on the agenda then  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It's lies!! All lies!! I never took all the cakes guv!! I may have had some of em but I never took the all - honest   "
you need credible witness young man. So RT is out of the picture |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's lies!! All lies!! I never took all the cakes guv!! I may have had some of em but I never took the all - honest you need credible witness young man. So RT is out of the picture"
 |
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"It was a confession m'lud. She confessed yesterday. We have it in writing - see exhibit A  "
For your statement to be valid, you would need to produce sufficient evidence of such a 'confession'.
As it is, I recall only a statement of blame being shown and a slight hint of sarcasm. Nothing along the lines of 'confession'.
L x  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It was a confession m'lud. She confessed yesterday. We have it in writing - see exhibit A
For your statement to be valid, you would need to produce sufficient evidence of such a 'confession'.
As it is, I recall only a statement of blame being shown and a slight hint of sarcasm. Nothing along the lines of 'confession'.
L x "
ahem silence in court
Am the fekin judge lol |
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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago
Falkirk |
"It was a confession m'lud. She confessed yesterday. We have it in writing - see exhibit A
For your statement to be valid, you would need to produce sufficient evidence of such a 'confession'.
As it is, I recall only a statement of blame being shown and a slight hint of sarcasm. Nothing along the lines of 'confession'.
L x ahem silence in court
Am the fekin judge lol "
As you can see your honour, a ringleader of the highest calibre - I'd like to call more Edinburgh based witnesses to give evidence too - summonses have been sent and we are just waiting for their evidence in this case now  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"ahem silence in court
Am the fekin judge lol
Well excuuusseee meee!
Pmsl
Just doing my part, your honour.
;-)
Lx"
No judges in scotland Dr Bru, only sheriffs, who are addressed as m'lord or m'lady
which are you Dr Bru? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"ahem silence in court
Am the fekin judge lol
Well excuuusseee meee!
Pmsl
Just doing my part, your honour.
;-)
Lx
No judges in scotland Dr Bru, only sheriffs, who are addressed as m'lord or m'lady
which are you Dr Bru? "
well I stand corrected roxy guess I'm sheriff's bru |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"ahem silence in court
Am the fekin judge lol
Well excuuusseee meee!
Pmsl
Just doing my part, your honour.
;-)
Lx
No judges in scotland Dr Bru, only sheriffs, who are addressed as m'lord or m'lady
which are you Dr Bru? well I stand corrected roxy guess I'm sheriff's bru"
I think Sheriff Bru has a ring to it  |
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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago
Falkirk |
"I plead guilty of neglecting the forum over the past few days....
who are you? 
your worst nightmare!!!
never a truer word spoken "
That explains antihero's sugar OD last night - nurse ratchet has been neglecting his meds! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"ahem silence in court
Am the fekin judge lol
Well excuuusseee meee!
Pmsl
Just doing my part, your honour.
;-)
Lx
No judges in scotland Dr Bru, only sheriffs, who are addressed as m'lord or m'lady
which are you Dr Bru? well I stand corrected roxy guess I'm sheriff's bru"
Why do I see this Sheriff in a remake of Bareback Mounting? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"ahem silence in court
Am the fekin judge lol
Well excuuusseee meee!
Pmsl
Just doing my part, your honour.
;-)
Lx
No judges in scotland Dr Bru, only sheriffs, who are addressed as m'lord or m'lady
which are you Dr Bru? well I stand corrected roxy guess I'm sheriff's bru
I think Sheriff Bru has a ring to it "
Please. I'm having my lunch... I don't wanna see the Sheriff's ring! |
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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago
Falkirk |
"ahem silence in court
Am the fekin judge lol
Well excuuusseee meee!
Pmsl
Just doing my part, your honour.
;-)
Lx
No judges in scotland Dr Bru, only sheriffs, who are addressed as m'lord or m'lady
which are you Dr Bru? well I stand corrected roxy guess I'm sheriff's bru
Why do I see this Sheriff in a remake of Bareback Mounting?"
Pmsfl
You gonna be his co star??? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"ahem silence in court
Am the fekin judge lol
Well excuuusseee meee!
Pmsl
Just doing my part, your honour.
;-)
Lx
No judges in scotland Dr Bru, only sheriffs, who are addressed as m'lord or m'lady
which are you Dr Bru? well I stand corrected roxy guess I'm sheriff's bru
I think Sheriff Bru has a ring to it
Please. I'm having my lunch... I don't wanna see the Sheriff's ring! "
I can see ya peeking through yer fingers |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"ahem silence in court
Am the fekin judge lol
Well excuuusseee meee!
Pmsl
Just doing my part, your honour.
;-)
Lx
No judges in scotland Dr Bru, only sheriffs, who are addressed as m'lord or m'lady
which are you Dr Bru? well I stand corrected roxy guess I'm sheriff's bru
Why do I see this Sheriff in a remake of Bareback Mounting?
Pmsfl
You gonna be his co star??? "
Feck off. I'm merely the writer & director. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"ahem silence in court
Am the fekin judge lol
Well excuuusseee meee!
Pmsl
Just doing my part, your honour.
;-)
Lx
No judges in scotland Dr Bru, only sheriffs, who are addressed as m'lord or m'lady
which are you Dr Bru? well I stand corrected roxy guess I'm sheriff's bru
I think Sheriff Bru has a ring to it
Please. I'm having my lunch... I don't wanna see the Sheriff's ring!
I can see ya peeking through yer fingers "
Swingers Handbook: Page 2: Section 3: Paragraph 4 - There's no harm in looking. A look is allowed, particularly if you want to see where you're going, or what obstacles to avoid. If you are a Member of the Grand Order of Jessified Homosexuals then a look is a given right & in many cases MANDATORY. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I leave for a wee while and come back to what!? Get a grip people, order in the court!
Bru, get a grip on this lot! And no, not literally.
L x"
ok RT and his side kink furry stand accused of sheer shagging sorry rustling how do youse plead |
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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago
Falkirk |
"I leave for a wee while and come back to what!? Get a grip people, order in the court!
Bru, get a grip on this lot! And no, not literally.
L xok RT and his side kink furry stand accused of sheer shagging sorry rustling how do youse plead "
Not guilty! I put wrappers in the bin so they don't rustle |
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"For your statement to be valid, you would need to produce sufficient evidence of such a 'confession'.
As it is, I recall only a statement of blame being shown and a slight hint of sarcasm. Nothing along the lines of 'confession'. L x "
" I'd like to call more Edinburgh based witnesses to give evidence too - summonses have been sent and we are just waiting for their evidence in this case now "
"She's guilty as fuck may i recommend no cock or pussy for 30 days your honour
I'm off to enjoy the witness protection cheque in the sun now "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I leave for a wee while and come back to what!? Get a grip people, order in the court!
Bru, get a grip on this lot! And no, not literally.
L xok RT and his side kink furry stand accused of sheer shagging sorry rustling how do youse plead "
Ride this yer honour
Damn right I'm shagging. Some fkr on this site has to! Might as well be me. Send me to prison if ya want - I'll ride that lot too including the Wardens, cos ah jist love bein on the inside. Hang me if you want - I'm already well hung. Shoot me at Dawn - I've shot on her enough times. Electric chair - pfft, nothing shocks me. Crucify me - I've nailed more folk on here than a carpenter in Jerusalem. Dae whit ya like.
Last request - Shag anyone? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I leave for a wee while and come back to what!? Get a grip people, order in the court!
Bru, get a grip on this lot! And no, not literally.
L xok RT and his side kink furry stand accused of sheer shagging sorry rustling how do youse plead "
Get me Beltrami! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Pmsl! I love RT, think he should be the sheriff 
PP - Im coming to get youuuuuuuuuuu!!!
L x"
Slick already thinks I work in a professional legal capacity. He even thinks I'd look good in a wig. Meh. |
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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago
Falkirk |
"Pmsl! I love RT, think he should be the sheriff
PP - Im coming to get youuuuuuuuuuu!!!
L x"
It's ok PP - your private jet will be ready in 15 mins - she's never going to get to you that quickly!! |
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"PP - Im coming to get youuuuuuuuuuu!!!
L x
It's ok PP - your private jet will be ready in 15 mins - she's never going to get to you that quickly!! "
It's cool i'll head to the gym she will never come within 100 yards of that place lol |
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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago
Falkirk |
"Im on the run now, not due to being guilty of anything, but due to PP hurting my feelings. Im a sensitive girl! Bad husband needs a kick in the shins, wanna do that for me?
X"
I don't mind kicking his shins but no higher than the knees - I have standards too lol  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You gotta love the forums. Last week am a Dr this week a judge and a sheriff'
Next week who knows a gynecologist
Ok ladiees form a que  Is å gynecologist not a doctor then Think your just kidding us on here LOL  is a special doctor shhh"
Yer a FANNY, Doctor! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"You gotta love the forums. Last week am a Dr this week a judge and a sheriff'
Next week who knows a gynecologist
Ok ladiees form a que Is å gynecologist not a doctor then Think your just kidding us on here LOL is a special doctor shhh
Yer a FANNY, Doctor!"
harsh |
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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago
Falkirk |
"Runs around court nakie...
And runs out. right your barred
What he really meant was that shes to go to his private room and wait for him
L x"
Have you given her directions to your dungeon then? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You gotta love the forums. Last week am a Dr this week a judge and a sheriff'
Next week who knows a gynecologist
Ok ladiees form a que Is å gynecologist not a doctor then Think your just kidding us on here LOL is a special doctor shhh
Yer a FANNY, Doctor!harsh"
But funny as fcuk!
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Right Judge Judy,
I would like to know who is on this goddammed jury? I know my rights. My brief can kick out anyone they believe wouldn't give me a fair trial - starting with YOU. Plus I believe there's at least ONE person wants to put me forward for Sheriff.
Do my next question - who appointed you? I was led to believe you're just a fanny doctor. |
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"You gotta love the forums. Last week am a Dr this week a judge and a sheriff'
Next week who knows a gynecologist
Ok ladiees form a que "
I never wanted to be a gynaecologist....
I always wanted to be....
A LUMBERJACK..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Safe to leave gym yet ?
My daft wife still on rampage lol
It's ok, she's got bru in the dungeon so you're safe "
Is a dungeon not where they keep prisoners in ye olden days? Ah sweet revenge.
Quick, run into his dungeon & bum poke him for all these sentences (some if them in joined up writing) that he's handed out today.  |
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"Safe to leave gym yet ?
My daft wife still on rampage lol
It's ok, she's got bru in the dungeon so you're safe
Is a dungeon not where they keep prisoners in ye olden days? Ah sweet revenge.
Quick, run into his dungeon & bum poke him for all these sentences (some if them in joined up writing) that he's handed out today. "
He'd only end up liking it..... |
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"Right Judge Judy,
I would like to know who is on this goddammed jury? I know my rights. My brief can kick out anyone they believe wouldn't give me a fair trial - starting with YOU. Plus I believe there's at least ONE person wants to put me forward for Sheriff.
Do my next question - who appointed you? I was led to believe you're just a fanny doctor. "
Hear hear..... I got 30 days just for having the odd glass of wine  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Right Judge Judy,
I would like to know who is on this goddammed jury? I know my rights. My brief can kick out anyone they believe wouldn't give me a fair trial - starting with YOU. Plus I believe there's at least ONE person wants to put me forward for Sheriff.
Do my next question - who appointed you? I was led to believe you're just a fanny doctor.
Hear hear..... I got 30 days just for having the odd glass of wine "
THIRTY DAYS?! Feck sake you sure he ain't related to the Sheriff of Nottigham?
Cutie, I just need a second nomination for Sheriff & I can depose this despot!
All in favour say AYE! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
THIRTY DAYS?! Feck sake you sure he ain't related to the Sheriff of Nottigham?
Cutie, I just need a second nomination for Sheriff & I can depose this despot!
All in favour say AYE!
AYE...... "
Mwuhahaha - thus ends the reign of that phoney physician & deluded despot.
The king is dead. Long live the king.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Thankyou one & all (ok the two that proposed me & my one loyal subject).
Firstly I would like to decree that the fanny doctor does ALL of our ironing whilst he's down in Star's dungeon. He is also doing all the washing up & peeling the spuds for each & every dinner. He also gets to take out the rubbish daily. Anyone got any other chores needing done just shout.
Secondly, Cutie we're having the drayman instal a vat for red wine. This will connect to a pipe which will run the entire length of the great hall straight to a tap next to your bed. So you can drink whenever you like & not need to leave bed.
Star - I decree that you can abuse BruBru whenever you please. Even if he's sleeping! Feel free to use any if the torture equipment in the dungeon on him.
Furry - I have decided you should be a Knight of the Randy Table. This entitles you to rampage & rump any maiden, in any village in the Kingdom.
Anyone else got any requests while I'm in a benevent mood? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ffs papped in a dungeon. Stripped of ma title
In some sort of coo durty fekers. AL BE BACK "
What is this coup you speak of Serf?
And who is this peasant Albie Back or is it Al Beback? Speak now or be sent to be dragon fodder. |
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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago
Livingston |
"Thankyou one & all (ok the two that proposed me & my one loyal subject).
Firstly I would like to decree that the fanny doctor does ALL of our ironing whilst he's down in Star's dungeon. He is also doing all the washing up & peeling the spuds for each & every dinner. He also gets to take out the rubbish daily. Anyone got any other chores needing done just shout.
Secondly, Cutie we're having the drayman instal a vat for red wine. This will connect to a pipe which will run the entire length of the great hall straight to a tap next to your bed. So you can drink whenever you like & not need to leave bed.
Star - I decree that you can abuse BruBru whenever you please. Even if he's sleeping! Feel free to use any if the torture equipment in the dungeon on him.
Furry - I have decided you should be a Knight of the Randy Table. This entitles you to rampage & rump any maiden, in any village in the Kingdom.
Anyone else got any requests while I'm in a benevent mood? "
I request you be in a benevolent mood instead, ya twonk |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Thankyou one & all (ok the two that proposed me & my one loyal subject).
Firstly I would like to decree that the fanny doctor does ALL of our ironing whilst he's down in Star's dungeon. He is also doing all the washing up & peeling the spuds for each & every dinner. He also gets to take out the rubbish daily. Anyone got any other chores needing done just shout.
Secondly, Cutie we're having the drayman instal a vat for red wine. This will connect to a pipe which will run the entire length of the great hall straight to a tap next to your bed. So you can drink whenever you like & not need to leave bed.
Star - I decree that you can abuse BruBru whenever you please. Even if he's sleeping! Feel free to use any if the torture equipment in the dungeon on him.
Furry - I have decided you should be a Knight of the Randy Table. This entitles you to rampage & rump any maiden, in any village in the Kingdom.
Anyone else got any requests while I'm in a benevent mood?
I request you be in a benevolent mood instead, ya twonk "
Who is this twonk you speaketh of ye hag of the wooden implements?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don't want to Cutie, got my own
Randy, my implements are made of steel!!!!
Ahh like the sword I dub the knights with.
nah, your sword is a pork one "
Me thinks you are thinking of my OTHER sword. I thought those portraits had been locked away in the Royal Gallery vaults!
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I'm off to soak in a bath. I'd like a hunk to wash me please
[Claps for more hunks]
Bring on the Bathing Hunks. "
I know your diein to ask me. I'm I will hunk for ya |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Amuse yourselves whilst I enjoy ye olde songfest & feast my eyes on the lutes of the minstrels on Ye Gregorian Chants of Europa prelims. "
are you watchin eating crisps perhaps |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is there anything that I can be charged with, so my sentence would be getting sent to bed? "
Bru, put The Maiden of Ice in a four poster in the East Wing my good man. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is there anything that I can be charged with, so my sentence would be getting sent to bed?
Bru, put The Maiden of Ice in a four poster in the East Wing my good man. "
Oooer, the East Wing. Is that the posh end? |
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"Any chance of a couple of hunks to help me with this wine RT
gie's a glass wummin.....
Of course..... Yer no getting to share my hunks though "
You sharing with me hun? I'll play nice, honest. Sx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Is there anything that I can be charged with, so my sentence would be getting sent to bed?
Bru, put The Maiden of Ice in a four poster in the East Wing my good man.
Oooer, the East Wing. Is that the posh end? "
All my ends are posh ends |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It's lies!! All lies!! I never took all the cakes guv!! I may have had some of em but I never took the all - honest "
(need an alibi? can say you were at the wank club lol ) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's lies!! All lies!! I never took all the cakes guv!! I may have had some of em but I never took the all - honest
(need an alibi? can say you were at the wank club lol )"
(The first rule of Wank Club is thy shalt not speaketh of Wank Club.) |
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"Any chance of a couple of hunks to help me with this wine RT
gie's a glass wummin.....
Of course..... Yer no getting to share my hunks though
You sharing with me hun? I'll play nice, honest. Sx "
Go on then ... If you promise |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ahem..... No such thing as excessive wine drinking
you soooo came to mind when i read that lol
Haha you all have the wrong impression of me ..... Honest "
Pray tell m'lady. How cometh? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Bru how is the ironing coming along? almost finished cuties ironing, but I could be here a while longer. There seems to be alot of empty wine bottles lieing around
"
Grand job. After the ironing to can take the empties out to recycle in Ye Olde Flagon Skip. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Hope you didn't scorch my good undies bru
And be careful with the empties don't want you hurting your back "
scorch the undies yes yes that's why your missing a couple of pair (genius)wine bottles are cleared can I go now( need to get out these knickers ate killing me) lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hope you didn't scorch my good undies bru
And be careful with the empties don't want you hurting your back scorch the undies yes yes that's why your missing a couple of pair (genius)wine bottles are cleared can I go now( need to get out these knickers ate killing me) lol"
 . Certainly. For that I think you can be promoted to Squire Bru. Made me chuckle. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hope you didn't scorch my good undies bru
And be careful with the empties don't want you hurting your back scorch the undies yes yes that's why your missing a couple of pair (genius)wine bottles are cleared can I go now( need to get out these knickers ate killing me) lol"
Oh & see to the Scullery Maids before you take the rest if the day off. You've earned it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm going to put myself up for dancing in unbelievable (well some folk seen them) shoes.wot we charging you with "
Crime against gravity?
In reality I just want a handsome policeman to come get me. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm going to put myself up for dancing in unbelievable (well some folk seen them) shoes.wot we charging you with
Crime against gravity?
In reality I just want a handsome policeman to come get me."
dont no bout handsome but I could probably dig up a uniform from somewhere. And cum and De brief you. Stick you in handcuffs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Da King wishes to do a Queen Bea & abdicate. I've decided there's more to holding court in this dusty old castle & I'm off to see the world. Have fun y'all. Now where did one put ones passport? |
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