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Flirt/sex texting
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"If you were in a vanilla relationship and you found out your partner was sending someone of the oposit sex flirty sex texts would you see that as cheating ?"
Yes
Why they not sending to there partner |
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"I was, I did and she said it was."
A friend of mine has just caught her pertner doing this and shes on the verge of kicking him out cause she says its cheating despite him saying hes never even met the woman.
I said she needs to sit him down and ask him outright if hes met this woman or not then decide what to do. |
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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago
Livingston |
"Ive no idea if he had any intention of actually meeting this woman or if it was purly just sex text ."
whether they have met or not, the potential for it to go further is already set in motion. |
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"Ive no idea if he had any intention of actually meeting this woman or if it was purly just sex text .
whether they have met or not, the potential for it to go further is already set in motion."
yeah possibly |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you were in a vanilla relationship and you found out your partner was sending someone of the oposit sex flirty sex texts would you see that as cheating ?"
Yes and I would seriously question his future fidelity.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A txts is just that, there allways a line you dont need to crossso do you see it in a similar sence to say watching porn and having a wank?"
Cant answer that dont watch porn But do wank A txts is just fun ,till you cross line that is all it is fun Not cheating  |
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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago
Livingston |
"A txts is just that, there allways a line you dont need to crossso do you see it in a similar sence to say watching porn and having a wank? Cant answer that dont watch porn But do wank A txts is just fun ,till you cross line that is all it is fun Not cheating "
But surely that's not the case if you are bringing a 3rd party into it unbeknownst to your partner? |
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"A txts is just that, there allways a line you dont need to crossso do you see it in a similar sence to say watching porn and having a wank? Cant answer that dont watch porn But do wank A txts is just fun ,till you cross line that is all it is fun Not cheating "
But is it still fun if your partner is hurt by it ? also how does he/she prove its only texting and that nothing has actually happend ? |
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I think it's a tricky 1 I believe once you start going down that route you are on a tightrope and its only a matter of time before you find the opportunity to take it further and meet!!
I think if you can't tell your partner about something maybe you shouldn't be doing it!! Mr lovers enjoys a wee bit of text flirting but I know all about it but then again we are swingers and our boundaries are not the same in a conventional marriage!! Only your friend can decide where her lines are its the lying that would hurt me the most though!! That's my 2 pence worth lol!! |
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"I think it's a tricky 1 I believe once you start going down that route you are on a tightrope and its only a matter of time before you find the opportunity to take it further and meet!!
I think if you can't tell your partner about something maybe you shouldn't be doing it!! Mr lovers enjoys a wee bit of text flirting but I know all about it but then again we are swingers and our boundaries are not the same in a conventional marriage!! Only your friend can decide where her lines are its the lying that would hurt me the most though!! That's my 2 pence worth lol!! "
my thinking is if hes kept it secret he knows that t was because she wouldnt like it that in itsself screams guilty ..she doesnt yet know who this woman is or how he has her number so i dunno the full story yet . |
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"I think it's a tricky 1 I believe once you start going down that route you are on a tightrope and its only a matter of time before you find the opportunity to take it further and meet!!
I think if you can't tell your partner about something maybe you shouldn't be doing it!! Mr lovers enjoys a wee bit of text flirting but I know all about it but then again we are swingers and our boundaries are not the same in a conventional marriage!! Only your friend can decide where her lines are its the lying that would hurt me the most though!! That's my 2 pence worth lol!! my thinking is if hes kept it secret he knows that t was because she wouldnt like it that in itsself screams guilty ..she doesnt yet know who this woman is or how he has her number so i dunno the full story yet ."
Yip it screams guilty but the secrecy is part of the thrill I suppose. As I said its a hard 1 to call I sorta agree with the porn analogy if there is no intention of meeting what's the difference?? The problem is I don't believe most men would leave it at that, but hey ho thank god we are all swingers who are honest lol!! Xx  |
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"Yes
He clearly is bored or not gettin at home This is the old excuse most use even when they are getting it at home tho  "
I started same way and ended up we affair iv never stopped loving my ex an still do
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ive no idea if he had any intention of actually meeting this woman or if it was purly just sex text .
whether they have met or not, the potential for it to go further is already set in motion."
totally agree with this, it may start innocent but things have away of getting out of hand quick. I andy have also been through this, and it can take a lot of time to regain the trust. ( my so called mate actually made a move on my other half and it all started with a few messages.)
|
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"Yes
He clearly is bored or not gettin at home This is the old excuse most use even when they are getting it at home tho
I started same way and ended up we affair iv never stopped loving my ex an still do
"
sadly a lot of people think the grass is always greener on the other side huh ...if you have steak at home why settle for mince elsewhere ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ive no idea if he had any intention of actually meeting this woman or if it was purly just sex text .
whether they have met or not, the potential for it to go further is already set in motion.
totally agree with this, it may start innocent but things have away of getting out of hand quick. I andy have also been through this, and it can take a lot of time to regain the trust. ( my so called mate actually made a move on my other half and it all started with a few messages.)
"
Well Andy can say no at any time It always the other woman not the guys fault Guy can say no you know  |
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"Ive no idea if he had any intention of actually meeting this woman or if it was purly just sex text .
whether they have met or not, the potential for it to go further is already set in motion.
totally agree with this, it may start innocent but things have away of getting out of hand quick. I andy have also been through this, and it can take a lot of time to regain the trust. ( my so called mate actually made a move on my other half and it all started with a few messages.)
Well Andy can say no at any time It always the other woman not the guys fault Guy can say no you know "
Not sure what u mean by this ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ive no idea if he had any intention of actually meeting this woman or if it was purly just sex text .
whether they have met or not, the potential for it to go further is already set in motion.
totally agree with this, it may start innocent but things have away of getting out of hand quick. I andy have also been through this, and it can take a lot of time to regain the trust. ( my so called mate actually made a move on my other half and it all started with a few messages.)
Well Andy can say no at any time It always the other woman not the guys fault Guy can say no you know "
Only a guy would blame the woman   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ive no idea if he had any intention of actually meeting this woman or if it was purly just sex text .
whether they have met or not, the potential for it to go further is already set in motion.
totally agree with this, it may start innocent but things have away of getting out of hand quick. I andy have also been through this, and it can take a lot of time to regain the trust. ( my so called mate actually made a move on my other half and it all started with a few messages.)
Well Andy can say no at any time It always the other woman not the guys fault Guy can say no you know
Only a guy would blame the woman "
both were at fault, zoe thought it was just innocent flirting but he thought it was serious and made it clear he wanted her. thing is he also had a gf at the time but hes one of those guys that gives us all a bad name. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ive no idea if he had any intention of actually meeting this woman or if it was purly just sex text .
whether they have met or not, the potential for it to go further is already set in motion.
totally agree with this, it may start innocent but things have away of getting out of hand quick. I andy have also been through this, and it can take a lot of time to regain the trust. ( my so called mate actually made a move on my other half and it all started with a few messages.)
Well Andy can say no at any time It always the other woman not the guys fault Guy can say no you know
Only a guy would blame the woman "
 |
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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago
Livingston |
It's always the other woman's fault and not the guy?? That is the biggest load of fuckin bullshit I have heard in a long time.
How/where did they "meet"?
Does the other woman know he is married?
Why does he keep it a secret from his wife?
If it is all "innocent" fun then sure he would not have to be so underhand and deceitful...
If a married guy paid a prostitute for sex, would it be the prostitute's fault too because she took his money? Not forgetting that in that case the guy sought out the prostitute and not the other way about... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's always the other woman's fault and not the guy?? That is the biggest load of fuckin bullshit I have heard in a long time.
How/where did they "meet"?
Does the other woman know he is married?
Why does he keep it a secret from his wife?
If it is all "innocent" fun then sure he would not have to so underhand and deceitful...
If a married guy paid a prostitute for sex, would it be the prostitute's fault too because she took his money? Not forgetting that in that case the guy sought out the prostitute and not the other way about..."
 You just up or what have you read the thread or just listen to missd Try reading the hole thread  |
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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago
Livingston |
"It's always the other woman's fault and not the guy?? That is the biggest load of fuckin bullshit I have heard in a long time.
How/where did they "meet"?
Does the other woman know he is married?
Why does he keep it a secret from his wife?
If it is all "innocent" fun then sure he would not have to so underhand and deceitful...
If a married guy paid a prostitute for sex, would it be the prostitute's fault too because she took his money? Not forgetting that in that case the guy sought out the prostitute and not the other way about... You just up or what have you read the thread or just listen to missd Try reading the hole thread "
I have read the WHOLE thread actually. I am questioning your comment on how it is ALWAYS the woman at fault.
If you read my post properly you will see that I was questioning you and your chauvenistic view with the prostitute analogy!!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well if you read it right not once did i say it was the almanak fault You just jump in with MissD as she read it wrong to So i am saying it mosty the mans fault WHICH I SAY ON THREE POSTS IF YOU READ THE FULL THREAD  |
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"Ive no idea if he had any intention of actually meeting this woman or if it was purly just sex text .
whether they have met or not, the potential for it to go further is already set in motion.
totally agree with this, it may start innocent but things have away of getting out of hand quick. I andy have also been through this, and it can take a lot of time to regain the trust. ( my so called mate actually made a move on my other half and it all started with a few messages.)
Well Andy can say no at any time It always the other woman not the guys fault Guy can say no you know "
This is exactly what you said |
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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago
Livingston |
"Well if you read it right not once did i say it was the almanak fault You just jump in with MissD as she read it wrong to So i am saying it mosty the mans fault WHICH I SAY ON THREE POSTS IF YOU READ THE FULL THREAD "
Your actual quote was "Well Andy can say no at any time It always the other woman not the guys fault Guy can say no you know "
Maybe you should re-read before you post as it certainly does NOT read that way and more than just 2 of us picked up on that.
Maybe a wee bit more care with your diction, grammar and punctuation would stop your posts from being misunderstood. Just a thought!!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ive no idea if he had any intention of actually meeting this woman or if it was purly just sex text .
whether they have met or not, the potential for it to go further is already set in motion.
totally agree with this, it may start innocent but things have away of getting out of hand quick. I andy have also been through this, and it can take a lot of time to regain the trust. ( my so called mate actually made a move on my other half and it all started with a few messages.)p
Well Andy can say no at any time It always the other woman not the guys fault Guy can say no you know This is exactly what you said "
That was a answer to the post above And i take you want to dance with me on the forum for some reason Will be my guess MissD  |
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"Ive no idea if he had any intention of actually meeting this woman or if it was purly just sex text .
whether they have met or not, the potential for it to go further is already set in motion.
totally agree with this, it may start innocent but things have away of getting out of hand quick. I andy have also been through this, and it can take a lot of time to regain the trust. ( my so called mate actually made a move on my other half and it all started with a few messages.)p
Well Andy can say no at any time It always the other woman not the guys fault Guy can say no you know This is exactly what you said That was a answer to the post above And i take you want to dance with me on the forum for some reason Will be my guess MissD "
 I give up |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Dont give up Just say you pick me up wrong that would be fine Then all the others would not jump in behind you then "
Wot! some of us have minds of our own u know! |
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"Dont give up Just say you pick me up wrong that would be fine Then all the others would not jump in behind you then "
Lmao im not apologising for something that is there in black and white for all to see lol |
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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago
Livingston |
It is not a case of jumping in. It's a case of expressing INDIVIDUAL opinions on what has been written, which we are all entitled to do.
I will reiterate one point to you... PUNCTUATION goes a long way to ensuring your point is read in the correct view of which it is written and meant!! |
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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago
Livingston |
HYPOTHETICAL question for Dirty Dancer:
Your wife/gf/partner is on a girly night out. She gets chatted up by a single guy and gives a him her number (without mentioning she has a partner). Over the coming weeks/months, she is sending and receiving flirtatious texts, possibly some saucy pics. You know nothing about it.
One day, you come across these messages and read them. You feel hurt, confused and betrayed.
In that situation, who do you apportion the blame to? The 3rd party who may not know the whole truth about your partner's home situation or your partner who has a loving person waiting at home for them?
*Sexes may be swapped over to read He.
Oh, and as an aside... I am nae feckin sheep!!!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"HYPOTHETICAL question for Dirty Dancer:
Your wife/gf/partner is on a girly night out. She gets chatted up by a single guy and gives a him her number (without mentioning she has a partner). Over the coming weeks/months, she is sending and receiving flirtatious texts, ipossibly some saucy pics. You know nothing about it.
One day, you come across these messages and read them. You feel hurt, confused and betrayed.
In that situation, who do you apportion the blame to? The 3rd party who may not know the whole truth about your partner's home situation or your partner who has a loving person waiting at home for them?
*Sexes may be swapped over to read He.m
Oh, and as an aside... I am nae feckin sheep!!!!!"
So we are moving on from txts to pictures now Sex is cheating txts is not In my book That what i say Ok the sheep bit i will take back Hows your leg hope it better |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If im wrong, then im gloriously wrong, not a first.
I have this very simple outlook that im on a swingers site, among fellow swingers, open minded and flirty fun people i like to think.
Im actually not a big fan of text/phone thrills,when i have indulged, they take on a very short lifespan/pattern of being fun, exciting for maybe a few days tops. Then theres a high risk of churning out the same material, similar ideas, indeed becoming boring!
Often dies on its arse or i simply become a friend to text a simple "hi hows it gawn",lol.
Its foreign to me, to think if i text n text n text i will win any favour, become anyones regular bloomin anything, meet, fav meet, best naughty meet,,watever to term it.
(there is a point to all this),lol, ohh aye.
Somethings wrong with both, him and her, if they are hanging on each n every text and going for the secret squirrels routine, not swingingly cool!!! (just an opinion, must stress) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Gloriously wrong again T!!! lol. We are talking about in a vanilla relationship scenario xx"
Ohh jeez, might as well talk to me in Russian or something _muma,,va,,,nilla? Watsthatthen? x |
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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago
Livingston |
"Gloriously wrong again T!!! lol. We are talking about in a vanilla relationship scenario xxOhh jeez, might as well talk to me in Russian or something _muma,,va,,,nilla? Watsthatthen? x "
apparently an ice cream flavour or summat.. idunno!!!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It is Hypothetical, and I did say "possibly" about pics.... My question was would you feel hurt and betrayed? and who do you apportion blame to?"
not with txting And yes the woman if she has not told him |
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"HYPOTHETICAL question for Dirty Dancer:
Your wife/gf/partner is on a girly night out. She gets chatted up by a single guy and gives a him her number (without mentioning she has a partner). Over the coming weeks/months, she is sending and receiving flirtatious texts, possibly some saucy pics. You know nothing about it.
One day, you come across these messages and read them. You feel hurt, confused and betrayed.
In that situation, who do you apportion the blame to? The 3rd party who may not know the whole truth about your partner's home situation or your partner who has a loving person waiting at home for them?
"
IME, blame was on both sides, both were attached and knew the other was too. Very hurtful to discover emails accidentally, and it caused enough suspicion to keep an eye open (some would call it spying, not proud..) and sure enough, no smoke without fire
Only human nature, but the behind the back / lying bit isn't nice if you aren't careful enough to cover your tracks.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ideally, i would of thought if both are on here, declaring themselves swingers, one or the other would say something like, "oh look such and such who i know/met/messaged is texting me", and the other half then simply says if they are cool with it or "dont encourage them" for example.
If one or the other is being,,sleakit about it, somethings up? Is that fair to say?
Wheres _muma? lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Jeez T, you are hard work!! Listen carefully.... All parties are non swingers. Get it now? "
i slipped you twenty quid to big me up, not tell them all im hard work ffs,,lol, yer sacked!!! Gonna text you,,oops, |
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What constitutes cheating is a matter of opinion and can be fluid between couples. Deceit is something more factual. If these texts are a secret because it would be painful to the other person to find them then that's betrayal, which of course is the worst part of cheating.
Do unto those........
Him
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sorry but if hes deliberately keeping things from his partner then its not innocent . anyone doing something behind partners back ,that they know full well would upset relationship if found out then alarm bells ring !! its not the content of the txts so much its the deceit in which its all been done . he may never of met the woman but hes kept this from his partner knowing full well there would be fall out from it .so he knows already hes doing something out of order ! plus how would he feel if situation was reversed and he was the one who found the txts ? would he be taking it as all innocent ?
if i were your friend id be having a serious talk with said guy and decide then if he was gonna keep his balls or not . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"sorry but if hes deliberately keeping things from his partner then its not innocent . anyone doing something behind partners back ,that they know full well would upset relationship if found out then alarm bells ring !! its not the content of the txts so much its the deceit in which its all been done . he may never of met the woman but hes kept this from his partner knowing full well there would be fall out from it .so he knows already hes doing something out of order ! plus how would he feel if situation was reversed and he was the one who found the txts ? would he be taking it as all innocent ?
if i were your friend id be having a serious talk with said guy and decide then if he was gonna keep his balls or not ."
this xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Non s w i n g e r s ? But asking fur opinions on it on a swingers site? Wat the flufff?
Lost Why not didn't realise you could only ask if it was in relation to swingers "
My brilliant answer was universal jacs,,swinging, non swinging, same rules apply, just trying to lighten it all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you were in a vanilla relationship and you found out your partner was sending someone of the oposit sex flirty sex texts would you see that as cheating ?"
yes, it might be a bit of fun but you have to be honest too so there is nothing to hide. |
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