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By *olinb1 OP Man 3 weeks ago
Edinburgh |
Looking for others advice on this , myself and wife were never hard swingers but did enjoy extra sexual activity’s with cpls or singles, my wife sadly passed away recently and I’m finding it hard, but recently I’ve managed to talk to a few cpls or singles on here but at the back of my mind I find it hard to meet anyone or even accept offers to watch a Cpl, in my head this was things we enjoyed as a Cpl but hard to do these things without her being wife me to enjoy, sorry this is so long winded but not easy to explain I’m not the first and won’t be the last person to lose someone but hoping someone will speak to me that’s dealt with this before x |
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It may not be the answer that you're looking for, but in my eyes, if you're struggling to go through with or enjoy things and your late wife is still in the forefront of your mind, you're simply not ready. Maybe it would benefit to take a step back from things for a while and to heal yourself a little. Of course your wife will never have your mind completely, but there will come a time where it feels "okay" to do the things that you've mentioned. |
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By *olinb1 OP Man 3 weeks ago
Edinburgh |
"It may not be the answer that you're looking for, but in my eyes, if you're struggling to go through with or enjoy things and your late wife is still in the forefront of your mind, you're simply not ready. Maybe it would benefit to take a step back from things for a while and to heal yourself a little. Of course your wife will never have your mind completely, but there will come a time where it feels "okay" to do the things that you've mentioned. "
Thanks for your advice I appreciate it, talking I’m finding easy just taking the next step is harder for me |
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"It may not be the answer that you're looking for, but in my eyes, if you're struggling to go through with or enjoy things and your late wife is still in the forefront of your mind, you're simply not ready. Maybe it would benefit to take a step back from things for a while and to heal yourself a little. Of course your wife will never have your mind completely, but there will come a time where it feels "okay" to do the things that you've mentioned. "
Totally agree with this .
How long is it since your wife passed if you don't mind me asking !?
Like this poster has said it sounds like you are not ready to move on without your wife .
Take more timeout to totally come to terms with things then one day hopefully you will feel it's time to move on .
Sometimes it's impossible to move on because certain things you enjoyed as a couple you might struggle to do with other people .
Just hide your profile and come back when you feel the time is right . |
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I'm sorry to hear about your wife OP, I hear your heartbreak and to me I'd say you're not ready. Take some time for you, it's good to talk to people and maybe you will find some kind of consolation. |
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Firstly, sorry for your loss.
It is very hard to loose a person who had a huge influence on areas of your life. Particularly when you enjoyed them so much together.
Only you can decide when you are ready.
But think of it in this light...
What would she be saying to you right now. I'll garrantee it would be to live life to the fullest and that's how you honor their memory.❤️
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By *olinb1 OP Man 3 weeks ago
Edinburgh |
"Firstly, sorry for your loss.
It is very hard to loose a person who had a huge influence on areas of your life. Particularly when you enjoyed them so much together.
Only you can decide when you are ready.
But think of it in this light...
What would she be saying to you right now. I'll garrantee it would be to live life to the fullest and that's how you honor their memory.❤️
Thank you appreciate everyone helping x
"
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"It may not be the answer that you're looking for, but in my eyes, if you're struggling to go through with or enjoy things and your late wife is still in the forefront of your mind, you're simply not ready. Maybe it would benefit to take a step back from things for a while and to heal yourself a little. Of course your wife will never have your mind completely, but there will come a time where it feels "okay" to do the things that you've mentioned. Totally agree with this .
How long is it since your wife passed if you don't mind me asking !?
Like this poster has said it sounds like you are not ready to move on without your wife .
Take more timeout to totally come to terms with things then one day hopefully you will feel it's time to move on .
Sometimes it's impossible to move on because certain things you enjoyed as a couple you might struggle to do with other people .
Just hide your profile and come back when you feel the time is right ."
Very sage advice. Without going in to too many details publicly, I've lived through pretty much the same situation as you OP. Perhaps it would be wise to seriously consider what it is you're looking for through Fab too. Is it purely of a fun and sexual nature, or do you miss the intimacy of a more serious relationship too? It's a bit of a cliche saying, but it's true to say that you have to be happy and comfortable in yourself before you consider involving anyone else. Whether that be on a fun basis or otherwise. |
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I agree with the advice already given, you're not finished grieving - and that's ok, there's no timeline to it. Personally I'd probably just stick to the forums here and chatting with people, maybe organise a social where there's no expectation for it to become more, just a way to stay connected to like-minded people but without pushing yourself when youre not ready. Sending love |
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