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BDSM with little or no sexual contact?
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I used to see a bdsm master who I never saw undressed, never saw his cock in fact he never fucked me. This was about control and most of the meet I was blindfolded with me restrained to the door bed or over a horse.
It was such a turn on that when he eventually masterbated me I came in about 10 seconds. This is true bdsm.
I’ve now started being a dom myself on occasion and it’s a thrill for all involved. |
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"It was such a turn on that when he eventually masterbated me I came in about 10 seconds. This is true bdsm.
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Ummm, doesn't that count as sexual contact?
Yes, I think an experience can be deeply intimate and erotic without sexual activity (sometimes more so, and not exclusive to kink). When it comes to power exchange I find the mental and emotional component(s) far more compelling and involved than whether or not someone has an orgasm; if it's basically just bossy sex then for me it's missing All The Good Stuff  |
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Kink and BDSM has many meaning to many people - I personally like Swing+BDSM+Kink kind of event, the closest ones are Shamed in Xtasia and Pure obscenity in Townhouse wirral. Kink and D/S play without touching pussy, Bums and Boobs doesn’t do much for me..West midlands have some nice clubs and events but not listed here on fab, you know where to find them though. Rope, Wax, Paint and fire play can be non sexual but others need sexual release as it builds up pretty quick during scene. |
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"Out of curiosity, are there many out there who would be interested in BDSM hook ups that were purely about D/s & Kink?
Inspired by a discussion we're having
 "
I would depending on what you had in mind |
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Any kink scenarios I participate as D is non sexual for me, I’ve only ever been S once for a very well respected friend
Haven’t been able to get a fwb or bf into trying out the kinky stuff on any serious level |
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For me it’s about power exchange and freely putting myself in the control of others.
This control can be bossy or it can be just polite. I get a thrill and turned on not knowing what is going to happen. Eg. Turning up and being given lots of dishes to do or vacuum. Equally being tied up and left. No sexual contact just me being under someone’s control. Equally if they then decide to be more extreme and start breath play for their pleasure then that takes us into a different realm. Same goes for impact play or them being sadistic and using my masochistic tendencies for their delight.
The turn on as I say is being out of control or having to control myself enough to do as desired by the dominant whether I want to or not. |
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It's a topic that came up in conversation between my wife and I today, surrounding getting a house maid.
I explained that some bottoms would happily come to the house, clean and expect nothing in return. Just to provide service to two Queens and to be allowed back to clean again would be the achievement.
Most bdsm events frown on sexual play unless the venue is geared up for it, like a swingers/bdsm crossover venue.
I think there are merits to both. But I would say once the line has stepped over into bdsm sexual play it's hard to uncross that line. |
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I regularly do non sexual connected rope at Peer Rope events, and tie women and men.
This year has been quiet but last year I regularly topped (separately) three women who wanted a BDSM experience but without sex. As for crossing the line and not going back, one was an ex girlfriend. With my girlfriend I do more erotically charged rope and or bdsm but it does not need to be sexual.
In the BDSM world particularly in the rope world, there is the concept of Product v Process.
Product is all about the end result. Dominate or submit to someone to have sex with them. Do rope to immobilise a person to do something with them.
Process is the pleasure in the doing. Applying rope for the pleasure that both feel in tying and been tied. Applying or receiving sensation or domination or submission for the pleasure in the moment those acts bring.
Process is not better than Product, just different concept alrhough the external circumstances may look similar.
Although, I would suggest Process, requires, skill and reading people. Product generally requires less skill because usually it is in effect foreplay for vanilla sex |
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