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Dad jokes

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By (user no longer on site) OP 26 weeks ago

Why did the man fall down the well? Because he couldn’t see that well.

That was recently voted as the best dad joke

What’s your best, or worse, dad joke

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By *agatoXXXMan 26 weeks ago

Gone and completely forgotten.

My dad was a joke.

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By *cottish TemptationCouple 26 weeks ago

Shhhhh

You have 3 riffles in one hand and 6 duck decoys in the other.

What do you have?

Big hands.

How do you make an egg roll? Push it

I’m sorry haha

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By *uctifanoWoman 26 weeks ago

Glasgow

I’ve been diagnosed with chronic fear of giants… it’s called fee fi phobia

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By *utherglen funMan 26 weeks ago

Rutherglen

Why can't dinosaurs clap?

They are all dead

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By *hippy57Man 26 weeks ago

Chelmsford

Why do women have legs?

You seen the mess a snail makes

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By *ussymufferMan 26 weeks ago

Lanarkshire

If you get a email

Saying knock knock

Don't open it

It's a jahovah witness working form home

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By *rdadjokesMan 26 weeks ago

Edinburgh

Thought I was getting tagged in a post here haha

I just broke up with my girlfriend who was a professional tennis player …….. love meant nothing to her.

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By (user no longer on site) OP 26 weeks ago

Knock Knock

Who’s there?

Euan

Euan who?

It’s just me

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By *corpioboyMan 26 weeks ago

Glasgow

Did you hear about the cartoonist found dead at his home?

Details are sketchy.

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By *ookie69Man 26 weeks ago

Whistle Dixie

Don’t marry a tall woman

They lie long in bed

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By *idas ManMan 26 weeks ago

Dunfermline

Did you hear about the non-binary prospector?

There’s gold in them/their hills !

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By *rdadjokesMan 26 weeks ago

Edinburgh

I’ve got a date next week with someone who identifies as a wheelie bin I can’t mind if it’s the Tuesday or Thursday I’m taking her out

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By *uctifanoWoman 26 weeks ago

Glasgow

My boss said he didn’t see me in work today. I said that’s because I’m identifying as invisible, I’m Transparent and my pronouns are “who” and “where”

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By *ookie69Man 26 weeks ago

Whistle Dixie

I took a lovely lass out for dinner last week.

The waitress who was absolutely gorgeous asked me what I wanted

I said “How’s about a quickie darlin”she went off in a rage and told her Boss.

The lass I was with said “ffs Rookie,it’s spelt quiche “.

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By *exicolaMan 26 weeks ago

West Lothian

I've an urge to quit my current job and take up a role cleaning mirrors.

It's something I can really see myself doing.

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By *cta non verbaMan 26 weeks ago

Moray

My car failed it's emissions test today.

Fuming

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By *ola2020Woman 26 weeks ago

Glasgow

I was chopping herbs the other day and got some in my eye. The doctor said I might be Parsley sighted lol x

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By *assy LassieWoman 26 weeks ago

Lanarkshire

"I was chopping herbs the other day and got some in my eye. The doctor said I might be Parsley sighted lol x"

I love your jokes

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By *ola2020Woman 26 weeks ago

Glasgow

Hehe thank you x

Here's another: What do you call it when Batman skips church...? Christian Bale lol x

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By *ove_stockings27Couple 26 weeks ago

only works in Scotland..

is that a cake or a meringue?

naw yer right its a cake

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By *aldGingerMan 26 weeks ago

Glasgow

Guy staggers out of pub in Glasgow and sees another guy under the hood of a car trying to fix it.

“Whits up wi yer motor?”

“Piston broke”

“Aye me anaw pal”

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By *ennyjMan 26 weeks ago

falkirk

Phoned the chinese takeaway last night ,girl answered phone said hello I am soo king , I said its OK I'll call back when your finished ??...... I'll get ma coat

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By (user no longer on site) 26 weeks ago

What did Kermit say when he got to the top of the hill

Muppet

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By (user no longer on site) 26 weeks ago

What's the difference between a chickpea and a red kidney bean?

I've never had a red kidney bean on my face...

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By *allerthanaverage79Man 25 weeks ago

Ayrshire

Why isn't Michael Jackson allowed near primary schools? Because he's dead!

Why did the boy fall of the swing? Because he had no arms!

What's the pink panthers fav insect? Dead ants, dead ants, dead ants, dead ants, dead ants!!!

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