FabSwingers.com > Forums > Scotland > Ghosting or no shows
Ghosting or no shows
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By (user no longer on site) OP 36 weeks ago
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So frustrating, why does it happen, it was awful on dating apps, but it’s everywhere now. You wouldn’t just stop talking and walk away IRL, just say thanks, bye etc. I get not responding when there has been no exchange but not after significant exchange. Then there is the no shows, seems to be a lot of online fantasists….. complaint over lol |
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By *ee69Man 36 weeks ago
glasgow |
"So frustrating, why does it happen, it was awful on dating apps, but it’s everywhere now. You wouldn’t just stop talking and walk away IRL, just say thanks, bye etc. I get not responding when there has been no exchange but not after significant exchange. Then there is the no shows, seems to be a lot of online fantasists….. complaint over lol"
m8 it’s constant a had a no show couple a week ago , then they message like nothing happened lol , as you say a fantasist dream on here an Kik nowadays, keep yer chin up m8 |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 36 weeks ago
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I know that’s the reality, just very frustrating, especially when investing time in building that connections.
"So frustrating but seems to part of the lifestyle unfortunately. So many seem to get off on the arranging to meet rather than actually meeting. "
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It's terrible such a horrible thing to do it is easy to take it personal sometimes but unfortunately seems to happen to a lot of people even if its a change of mind why not just say a little white lie rather than being a dick and leave someone waiting and wondering.
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I think it mostly happens because some not all don’t take their time in getting to know people before diving in to asking for a meet .
Always do a social meet first that way if you get a no show it won’t be as bad than if you had prepared for a meet .
If the meet was arranged from this site then click on their profile and report as arranged to need but failed to show .
I’m sure if it happens many times with the same profile then admin would act on it .
Op I’m not saying you rushed into a meet but many do on here . |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 36 weeks ago
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Absolutely, it’s amazing the replies you get in a conversation (when I get replies lol)
"It’s so common these days. Communication seems to be a dying skill for a lot of people. "
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By (user no longer on site) OP 36 weeks ago
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To be fair, the 3 I have had arranged weren’t initiated by me, so made it more infuriating
"I think it mostly happens because some not all don’t take their time in getting to know people before diving in to asking for a meet .
Always do a social meet first that way if you get a no show it won’t be as bad than if you had prepared for a meet .
If the meet was arranged from this site then click on their profile and report as arranged to need but failed to show .
I’m sure if it happens many times with the same profile then admin would act on it .
Op I’m not saying you rushed into a meet but many do on here . "
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"To be fair, the 3 I have had arranged weren’t initiated by me, so made it more infuriating
I think it mostly happens because some not all don’t take their time in getting to know people before diving in to asking for a meet .
Always do a social meet first that way if you get a no show it won’t be as bad than if you had prepared for a meet .
If the meet was arranged from this site then click on their profile and report as arranged to need but failed to show .
I’m sure if it happens many times with the same profile then admin would act on it .
Op I’m not saying you rushed into a meet but many do on here . "
yes but if they agreed to meet then didn’t show without letting you know you can still report them for arranging to meet but not showing up |
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There’s just so many dynamics on here that can result in a no show, from nervous first timers, nerves, couples falling out, fantasists, donuts…the list goes on.
No excuse for not letting you know tho.
As for communication, it’s definitely died a death. I’m almost surprised nowadays if I get a half decent message back lol |
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By (user no longer on site) 36 weeks ago
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"There’s just so many dynamics on here that can result in a no show, from nervous first timers, nerves, couples falling out, fantasists, donuts…the list goes on.
No excuse for not letting you know tho.
As for communication, it’s definitely died a death. I’m almost surprised nowadays if I get a half decent message back lol"
Donuts!  |
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From my point of view I find it infuriating, From those of us in Tv,TS,Cd category we have to spend one hell of a long time getting ready if we do things properly….. then it’s often all for nothing Best thing is go to a club or social event, Yes I’ve met loads off here, but most of them haven’t been directly from here (they just happen to be on fab) |
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There’s quite a few couples (legit , verified profiles, that I have chatted and been in communication for a long time) that I think like the idea of
A meet but not the execution or fantasists who just lead folk on as a wee bit of a thrill for themselves (like the mrs getting attention etc) but have no inclination to follow through with a full meet. Had it several times with couples who have brought up the idea of a meet (social and fun) , they have gave the details and then disappeared off the face of the planet a few days before. Feels like a lead on. Would understand if it was me pressuring them and asking for a meet but why set up a meet yourself and then ghost? Strange |
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"That's why I stopped meeting people one on one.
Unfortunately it comes with this online thing. People lie and pretend to be someone they're not x"
That's the problem, you have no real clue who people are |
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I've had a few where socials have been set up then I've been blocked as I'm driving to them, or I've been sat waiting and they've been deliberately lying saying on their way, almost there, in the carpark at the pub when they're not, then they've had the cheek to block me before I can report them. Hard not to take it personally. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 35 weeks ago
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"I've had a few where socials have been set up then I've been blocked as I'm driving to them, or I've been sat waiting and they've been deliberately lying saying on their way, almost there, in the carpark at the pub when they're not, then they've had the cheek to block me before I can report them. Hard not to take it personally. "
It’s so hard and not in a good way   |
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By *ookie69Man 32 weeks ago
Whistle Dixie |
"So frustrating, why does it happen, it was awful on dating apps, but it’s everywhere now. You wouldn’t just stop talking and walk away IRL, just say thanks, bye etc. I get not responding when there has been no exchange but not after significant exchange. Then there is the no shows, seems to be a lot of online fantasists….. complaint over lol"
Unfortunately OP,
Anyone can change their minds at any given time.
As much as it’s not nice being in that situation as you probably made some commitment and arrangements, there may be a genuine reason.
You also are not entitled to warrant an explanation but it’s courtesy.
Just move on boss
Good luck |
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"I've had a few where socials have been set up then I've been blocked as I'm driving to them, or I've been sat waiting and they've been deliberately lying saying on their way, almost there, in the carpark at the pub when they're not, then they've had the cheek to block me before I can report them. Hard not to take it personally. "
You can still report them even if they've blocked you |
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Yep it’s happening in all areas of life now. Poor communication skills, people aren’t being taught/employing basic good manners - that’s all it is after all.
Personally here I like to chat a bit first (note - if you’ve a message thread/sent message and they block you then you can use the message to report to admin), first meet unless I’ve met them at a club or group social is always a public social for a variety of reasons this being one of them. I always have a plan b too so usually arrange to meet city centre then if no show I can do a bit of shopping or cinema or see if any other friends about to meet for a coffee or something.
Think of it as a bullet dodged op
You don’t wanna be messed about long term by somebody like this.
If they give me an excuse like they/a loved one has had an accident/taken ill or childcare issues etc then they get one more chance - after all life happens and I’ve very occasionally had to cancel/postpone for such reasons. But fool me twice… not happening!
Also why I tend to avoid newbies and those not meet verified by at least 2 members. The chat is a good way usually to suss people out but also just experience I am afraid.
There are certain clues also to things like if it’s a fake profile, if they’re married/attached, if they’re likely to chicken out etc. |
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"So frustrating, why does it happen, it was awful on dating apps, but it’s everywhere now. You wouldn’t just stop talking and walk away IRL, just say thanks, bye etc. I get not responding when there has been no exchange but not after significant exchange. Then there is the no shows, seems to be a lot of online fantasists….. complaint over lol"
happened to us Sunday night been chatting to a guy over 6 months arranged a meet.he never turned up I even had his phone number.called him 6 times no answer. Wanker.
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"Apparently it is even happening in interviews for jobs, so if people are willing to do that in their working life, then don’t be surprised if they do it with someone here."
Deff is, I was due to interview 5 candidates over last couple of days. So far interviewed none. 2 no shows, 2 cancelled and 1 re arranged. |
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By *ee69Man 32 weeks ago
glasgow |
"Apparently it is even happening in interviews for jobs, so if people are willing to do that in their working life, then don’t be surprised if they do it with someone here.
Deff is, I was due to interview 5 candidates over last couple of days. So far interviewed none. 2 no shows, 2 cancelled and 1 re arranged. "
Wtf that’s mad m8 , how would you expect to get a job if you can’t even turn up for interviews or have the cheek to rearrange, a wouldn’t take them on |
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We have stayed over at hotel few times and arranged a meet with single guys two even asked for proof we were staying at said hotels which we provided and no shows with 3 of them so it has put the mrs of meeting which then ruins it for genuine people on here . |
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By *oobsorbumMan 31 weeks ago
in between Glasgow/edinburgh |
"I think it mostly happens because some not all don’t take their time in getting to know people before diving in to asking for a meet .
Always do a social meet first that way if you get a no show it won’t be as bad than if you had prepared for a meet .
If the meet was arranged from this site then click on their profile and report as arranged to need but failed to show .
I’m sure if it happens many times with the same profile then admin would act on it .
Op I’m not saying you rushed into a meet but many do on here . "
Ive reported a few people who have arranged to meet but not turned up or turned phone off on the day of meeting rbut nothing seems to happen there still active and probably still ripping the piss out of genuine guys looking for fun, genuinely believe people get a thrill out of it |
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