FabSwingers.com > Forums > Scotland > How do you feel
How do you feel
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I joined the site as another social interaction and a way to help deal with my anxiety. The forums have been great so far as the people who have replied to me have. Yeah there has been a lot more quiet and boring days. I came on hoping for fun and more but expected nothing that way I am not disappointed and just keep ploughing on |
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By (user no longer on site) 45 weeks ago
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"Does anyone else feel like it is not for you
Or giving up
It gets mind numbing "
Remember that, crucially for couples, this lifestyle is meant to be fun based. If it ever turns into anything other than that, you really do need to have a conversation  |
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"Does anyone else feel like it is not for you
Or giving up
It gets mind numbing
Remember that, crucially for couples, this lifestyle is meant to be fun based. If it ever turns into anything other than that, you really do need to have a conversation "
Yes definitely
And we have had some great experience from it
Sometimes it feels like you spent a day on it and nothing
Or numerous let downs |
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"Does anyone else feel like it is not for you
Or giving up
It gets mind numbing
In regards to what? 
The site
Can spend so long on and find nothing
"
Use the site to get out to clubs and socials. The online thing is tedious and boring and tends to get you nowhere x |
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"Does anyone else feel like it is not for you
Or giving up
It gets mind numbing
In regards to what?
The site
Can spend so long on and find nothing
Use the site to get out to clubs and socials. The online thing is tedious and boring and tends to get you nowhere x"
That's how we sometimes feel
You think it's going somewhere then nothing.
Yes that's also a positive clubs and social side |
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By (user no longer on site) 45 weeks ago
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"Does anyone else feel like it is not for you
Or giving up
It gets mind numbing "
The site is what you make it.
There's no reason for not meeting, there's clubs to go too, socials, events, house parties to meet and connect with people with similar views and outlooks, it all depends what we are here for.
Trying to find the right people that is perfect for you can be hard and daunting but there are people out there for you. Couples right enough means you have at least 3 people that need to get on and like each other.
Is the site fun?, hell yeah!, is the site worth it|?, hell yeah!. You make it your own, you own it and the fun will come  |
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I'm an optimist by nature. I enjoy a bit of banter on here and from time to time something clicks. At 65 I recognise a lot of people regard me as over the hill but I can live with that.I still enjoy playing |
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By (user no longer on site) 45 weeks ago
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You need to do other things outside fab, yes it can be addictive and annoying. Things can’t always be rosey. The winter months can get people down as well. |
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Between the site and struggling in clubs in recent months I have zero confidence anymore, so my profile is hidden and I'm just here for a nosy.
I'm hoping things change but I'm not optimistic. I'm only 45, don't think I'm over the hill yet! |
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By (user no longer on site) 45 weeks ago
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"Between the site and struggling in clubs in recent months I have zero confidence anymore, so my profile is hidden and I'm just here for a nosy.
I'm hoping things change but I'm not optimistic. I'm only 45, don't think I'm over the hill yet!"
Can I ask, why you struggling with clubs? I've only been once at a club and they are not for me but everyoen is friendly so its easy to just chill and have a chat and if enjoy company, things can be taken further in the future, i.e. freinds, fun pals etc... |
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"Between the site and struggling in clubs in recent months I have zero confidence anymore, so my profile is hidden and I'm just here for a nosy.
I'm hoping things change but I'm not optimistic. I'm only 45, don't think I'm over the hill yet!
Can I ask, why you struggling with clubs? I've only been once at a club and they are not for me but everyoen is friendly so its easy to just chill and have a chat and if enjoy company, things can be taken further in the future, i.e. freinds, fun pals etc... "
We've been to clubs many times over the years so we're not newbies. I'd say over the past year we've been finding it difficult to speak with people we don't already know, when it's really busy it's also very hard to spot anyone that we might be interested in.
Plus our last club visit was to Afterdark's UV night a few months ago where I caught two women who were part of the large group giving me a dirty look, for no reason that I am aware of, so that made me feel rather unwelcome. That's not the club's fault, just one of those things. |
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By (user no longer on site) 45 weeks ago
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Has this very conversation at a recent party
It can get mind numbingly tedious when your time and effort are wasted
It’s not the scene or the regular people you meet, it’s just the folk who bounce in and out that make me think there must be a better way
Grump over |
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By (user no longer on site) 44 weeks ago
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"Between the site and struggling in clubs in recent months I have zero confidence anymore, so my profile is hidden and I'm just here for a nosy.
I'm hoping things change but I'm not optimistic. I'm only 45, don't think I'm over the hill yet!
Can I ask, why you struggling with clubs? I've only been once at a club and they are not for me but everyoen is friendly so its easy to just chill and have a chat and if enjoy company, things can be taken further in the future, i.e. freinds, fun pals etc...
We've been to clubs many times over the years so we're not newbies. I'd say over the past year we've been finding it difficult to speak with people we don't already know, when it's really busy it's also very hard to spot anyone that we might be interested in.
Plus our last club visit was to Afterdark's UV night a few months ago where I caught two women who were part of the large group giving me a dirty look, for no reason that I am aware of, so that made me feel rather unwelcome. That's not the club's fault, just one of those things."
You probably just went to a night out that was just a bad meet. If you think someone isn’t wanting to talk to you or drawing you dirty looks just go up and talk to them and this soon pisses them off. I go to events to have a good time and I couldn’t give a feck what anybody is doing. At 45 you are just a pup, after you go through the change you will either get put of sex or can’t get enough. |
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By (user no longer on site) 44 weeks ago
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"
You probably just went to a night out that was just a bad meet.
Pretty sure that wasn't it."
You will never know! These said woman could also be jealous especially if your a fit woman. Definitely wouldn’t let other people make me feel uneasy, just go to your next meet and have fun. |
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"
You probably just went to a night out that was just a bad meet.
Pretty sure that wasn't it.
You will never know! These said woman could also be jealous especially if your a fit woman. Definitely wouldn’t let other people make me feel uneasy, just go to your next meet and have fun. "
You're overlooking the confidence part of the problem |
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By *bcplCouple 44 weeks ago
Aberdeenshire |
We’ve both got fed up before and left, had a break and returned, it’s not a bad thing.
Been back a month and all ready we’re getting scunnered with (mostly guys) ghosting us etc however this time round we have attended socials and going to attend clubs so have met some good folks but if we get fed up we will take a break again. Like others have said this need to be fun for both of you. Mr |
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By (user no longer on site) 44 weeks ago
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"We’ve both got fed up before and left, had a break and returned, it’s not a bad thing.
Been back a month and all ready we’re getting scunnered with (mostly guys) ghosting us etc however this time round we have attended socials and going to attend clubs so have met some good folks but if we get fed up we will take a break again. Like others have said this need to be fun for both of you. Mr "
Same here, we took a three year break and often become frustrated with it. We have also tried to get to the clubs more often and attend more socials. I think everyone feels the frustration at some point. |
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By (user no longer on site) 44 weeks ago
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"
You probably just went to a night out that was just a bad meet.
Pretty sure that wasn't it.
You will never know! These said woman could also be jealous especially if your a fit woman. Definitely wouldn’t let other people make me feel uneasy, just go to your next meet and have fun.
You're overlooking the confidence part of the problem"
You’re the only one that can work on this no one else. |
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It’s like everything in life, sometimes you need a break, sometimes it gets you down a little bit, sometimes it’s good - it’s life’s ups and downs, don't take it too seriously and it’s a little easier |
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"
You probably just went to a night out that was just a bad meet.
Pretty sure that wasn't it.
You will never know! These said woman could also be jealous especially if your a fit woman. Definitely wouldn’t let other people make me feel uneasy, just go to your next meet and have fun.
You're overlooking the confidence part of the problem
You’re the only one that can work on this no one else. "
Um, I'm not asking anyone to?!  |
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By *bcplCouple 44 weeks ago
Aberdeenshire |
"We’ve both got fed up before and left, had a break and returned, it’s not a bad thing.
Been back a month and all ready we’re getting scunnered with (mostly guys) ghosting us etc however this time round we have attended socials and going to attend clubs so have met some good folks but if we get fed up we will take a break again. Like others have said this need to be fun for both of you. Mr
Same here, we took a three year break and often become frustrated with it. We have also tried to get to the clubs more often and attend more socials. I think everyone feels the frustration at some point. "
We were nearer 10 years but back kinkier than ever lol |
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"Between the site and struggling in clubs in recent months I have zero confidence anymore, so my profile is hidden and I'm just here for a nosy.
I'm hoping things change but I'm not optimistic. I'm only 45, don't think I'm over the hill yet!
Can I ask, why you struggling with clubs? I've only been once at a club and they are not for me but everyoen is friendly so its easy to just chill and have a chat and if enjoy company, things can be taken further in the future, i.e. freinds, fun pals etc...
We've been to clubs many times over the years so we're not newbies. I'd say over the past year we've been finding it difficult to speak with people we don't already know, when it's really busy it's also very hard to spot anyone that we might be interested in.
Plus our last club visit was to Afterdark's UV night a few months ago where I caught two women who were part of the large group giving me a dirty look, for no reason that I am aware of, so that made me feel rather unwelcome. That's not the club's fault, just one of those things.
You probably just went to a night out that was just a bad meet. If you think someone isn’t wanting to talk to you or drawing you dirty looks just go up and talk to them and this soon pisses them off. I go to events to have a good time and I couldn’t give a feck what anybody is doing. At 45 you are just a pup, after you go through the change you will either get put of sex or can’t get enough. "
The change? You talking menopauze here?  |
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"Between the site and struggling in clubs in recent months I have zero confidence anymore, so my profile is hidden and I'm just here for a nosy.
I'm hoping things change but I'm not optimistic. I'm only 45, don't think I'm over the hill yet!
Can I ask, why you struggling with clubs? I've only been once at a club and they are not for me but everyoen is friendly so its easy to just chill and have a chat and if enjoy company, things can be taken further in the future, i.e. freinds, fun pals etc...
We've been to clubs many times over the years so we're not newbies. I'd say over the past year we've been finding it difficult to speak with people we don't already know, when it's really busy it's also very hard to spot anyone that we might be interested in.
Plus our last club visit was to Afterdark's UV night a few months ago where I caught two women who were part of the large group giving me a dirty look, for no reason that I am aware of, so that made me feel rather unwelcome. That's not the club's fault, just one of those things.
You probably just went to a night out that was just a bad meet. If you think someone isn’t wanting to talk to you or drawing you dirty looks just go up and talk to them and this soon pisses them off. I go to events to have a good time and I couldn’t give a feck what anybody is doing. At 45 you are just a pup, after you go through the change you will either get put of sex or can’t get enough.
The change? You talking menopauze here? "
*menopause |
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By (user no longer on site) 44 weeks ago
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"Does anyone else feel like it is not for you
Or giving up
It gets mind numbing "
I definitely go through phases of thinking this isn’t right for me and I’ve deleted a few profiles over the years but always come back… I still don’t know if this is quite where I should be or I’m right for the lifestyle or not tbh |
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By (user no longer on site) 44 weeks ago
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"Between the site and struggling in clubs in recent months I have zero confidence anymore, so my profile is hidden and I'm just here for a nosy.
I'm hoping things change but I'm not optimistic. I'm only 45, don't think I'm over the hill yet!
Can I ask, why you struggling with clubs? I've only been once at a club and they are not for me but everyoen is friendly so its easy to just chill and have a chat and if enjoy company, things can be taken further in the future, i.e. freinds, fun pals etc...
We've been to clubs many times over the years so we're not newbies. I'd say over the past year we've been finding it difficult to speak with people we don't already know, when it's really busy it's also very hard to spot anyone that we might be interested in.
Plus our last club visit was to Afterdark's UV night a few months ago where I caught two women who were part of the large group giving me a dirty look, for no reason that I am aware of, so that made me feel rather unwelcome. That's not the club's fault, just one of those things.
You probably just went to a night out that was just a bad meet. If you think someone isn’t wanting to talk to you or drawing you dirty looks just go up and talk to them and this soon pisses them off. I go to events to have a good time and I couldn’t give a feck what anybody is doing. At 45 you are just a pup, after you go through the change you will either get put of sex or can’t get enough.
The change? You talking menopauze here?
*menopause"
Yes |
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"Between the site and struggling in clubs in recent months I have zero confidence anymore, so my profile is hidden and I'm just here for a nosy.
I'm hoping things change but I'm not optimistic. I'm only 45, don't think I'm over the hill yet!
Can I ask, why you struggling with clubs? I've only been once at a club and they are not for me but everyoen is friendly so its easy to just chill and have a chat and if enjoy company, things can be taken further in the future, i.e. freinds, fun pals etc...
We've been to clubs many times over the years so we're not newbies. I'd say over the past year we've been finding it difficult to speak with people we don't already know, when it's really busy it's also very hard to spot anyone that we might be interested in.
Plus our last club visit was to Afterdark's UV night a few months ago where I caught two women who were part of the large group giving me a dirty look, for no reason that I am aware of, so that made me feel rather unwelcome. That's not the club's fault, just one of those things.
You probably just went to a night out that was just a bad meet. If you think someone isn’t wanting to talk to you or drawing you dirty looks just go up and talk to them and this soon pisses them off. I go to events to have a good time and I couldn’t give a feck what anybody is doing. At 45 you are just a pup, after you go through the change you will either get put of sex or can’t get enough.
The change? You talking menopauze here?
*menopause
Yes "
Awwww pup, that's so liberal minded of you. Good to know we have an expert in our midst as well. |
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By (user no longer on site) 44 weeks ago
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"Between the site and struggling in clubs in recent months I have zero confidence anymore, so my profile is hidden and I'm just here for a nosy.
I'm hoping things change but I'm not optimistic. I'm only 45, don't think I'm over the hill yet!
Can I ask, why you struggling with clubs? I've only been once at a club and they are not for me but everyoen is friendly so its easy to just chill and have a chat and if enjoy company, things can be taken further in the future, i.e. freinds, fun pals etc...
We've been to clubs many times over the years so we're not newbies. I'd say over the past year we've been finding it difficult to speak with people we don't already know, when it's really busy it's also very hard to spot anyone that we might be interested in.
Plus our last club visit was to Afterdark's UV night a few months ago where I caught two women who were part of the large group giving me a dirty look, for no reason that I am aware of, so that made me feel rather unwelcome. That's not the club's fault, just one of those things.
You probably just went to a night out that was just a bad meet. If you think someone isn’t wanting to talk to you or drawing you dirty looks just go up and talk to them and this soon pisses them off. I go to events to have a good time and I couldn’t give a feck what anybody is doing. At 45 you are just a pup, after you go through the change you will either get put of sex or can’t get enough.
The change? You talking menopauze here?
*menopause
Yes
Awwww pup, that's so liberal minded of you. Good to know we have an expert in our midst as well."
Thanks buttercup im no expert just from experience |
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"Between the site and struggling in clubs in recent months I have zero confidence anymore, so my profile is hidden and I'm just here for a nosy.
I'm hoping things change but I'm not optimistic. I'm only 45, don't think I'm over the hill yet!
Can I ask, why you struggling with clubs? I've only been once at a club and they are not for me but everyoen is friendly so its easy to just chill and have a chat and if enjoy company, things can be taken further in the future, i.e. freinds, fun pals etc...
We've been to clubs many times over the years so we're not newbies. I'd say over the past year we've been finding it difficult to speak with people we don't already know, when it's really busy it's also very hard to spot anyone that we might be interested in.
Plus our last club visit was to Afterdark's UV night a few months ago where I caught two women who were part of the large group giving me a dirty look, for no reason that I am aware of, so that made me feel rather unwelcome. That's not the club's fault, just one of those things.
You probably just went to a night out that was just a bad meet. If you think someone isn’t wanting to talk to you or drawing you dirty looks just go up and talk to them and this soon pisses them off. I go to events to have a good time and I couldn’t give a feck what anybody is doing. At 45 you are just a pup, after you go through the change you will either get put of sex or can’t get enough.
The change? You talking menopauze here?
*menopause
Yes
Awwww pup, that's so liberal minded of you. Good to know we have an expert in our midst as well.
Thanks buttercup im no expert just from experience "
Hope you didn't have too much bother with it x |
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By (user no longer on site) 44 weeks ago
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"Between the site and struggling in clubs in recent months I have zero confidence anymore, so my profile is hidden and I'm just here for a nosy.
I'm hoping things change but I'm not optimistic. I'm only 45, don't think I'm over the hill yet!
Can I ask, why you struggling with clubs? I've only been once at a club and they are not for me but everyoen is friendly so its easy to just chill and have a chat and if enjoy company, things can be taken further in the future, i.e. freinds, fun pals etc...
We've been to clubs many times over the years so we're not newbies. I'd say over the past year we've been finding it difficult to speak with people we don't already know, when it's really busy it's also very hard to spot anyone that we might be interested in.
Plus our last club visit was to Afterdark's UV night a few months ago where I caught two women who were part of the large group giving me a dirty look, for no reason that I am aware of, so that made me feel rather unwelcome. That's not the club's fault, just one of those things.
You probably just went to a night out that was just a bad meet. If you think someone isn’t wanting to talk to you or drawing you dirty looks just go up and talk to them and this soon pisses them off. I go to events to have a good time and I couldn’t give a feck what anybody is doing. At 45 you are just a pup, after you go through the change you will either get put of sex or can’t get enough.
The change? You talking menopauze here?
*menopause
Yes
Awwww pup, that's so liberal minded of you. Good to know we have an expert in our midst as well.
Thanks buttercup im no expert just from experience
Hope you didn't have too much bother with it x"
Let’s just say I’m glad I’m a guy |
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By (user no longer on site) 44 weeks ago
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"
You probably just went to a night out that was just a bad meet.
Pretty sure that wasn't it.
You will never know! These said woman could also be jealous especially if your a fit woman. Definitely wouldn’t let other people make me feel uneasy, just go to your next meet and have fun.
You're overlooking the confidence part of the problem"
I completely understand this. I’ve had profiles on and off for years and if I’m not feeling great about myself then fab is the last place I want to be, so I usually end up deleting my account.
I think feeling low or having confidence issues and being on fab just causes your problems to be worse. I start to overthink no replies or sending face pics and getting a rejection.
Thankfully I’m quite a confident person 95 percent of the time |
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"Does anyone else feel like it is not for you
Or giving up
It gets mind numbing
I definitely go through phases of thinking this isn’t right for me and I’ve deleted a few profiles over the years but always come back… I still don’t know if this is quite where I should be or I’m right for the lifestyle or not tbh "
Do not get me wrong
We have learned so much
Became so much more open minded
Met some cracking people
But there is a lot of stuff for us
Everyone is different
The lets go on for a couple of hours
5 hrs later
Had numerous conversations with people
For one reason or another not meeting, maybe in a month,only club meets
Oh sorry we only do ....
After it's been spoken about
Or people get address and not show up.
Couple came one time we had spoken about everything
Then they arrived
She is now straight into a swap
He suddenly does not have an interest in men
We decided to leave it
He then messaged asking to come himself as he would now like to.
It's supposed to be fun ?? |
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"
You probably just went to a night out that was just a bad meet.
Pretty sure that wasn't it.
You will never know! These said woman could also be jealous especially if your a fit woman. Definitely wouldn’t let other people make me feel uneasy, just go to your next meet and have fun.
You're overlooking the confidence part of the problem
I completely understand this. I’ve had profiles on and off for years and if I’m not feeling great about myself then fab is the last place I want to be, so I usually end up deleting my account.
I think feeling low or having confidence issues and being on fab just causes your problems to be worse. I start to overthink no replies or sending face pics and getting a rejection.
Thankfully I’m quite a confident person 95 percent of the time "
Hey do not be silly
There is someone for everyone huni
We can not be everyone cup of tea
Some people reject over facial hair
Or tattoos
Or incorrect grammar
If you are not for them then don't take it personally
I hate how I look
However inundated with compliments.
But I don't feel happy
Hubby adores me any way I am so that's who counts x |
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