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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With
Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer
At Passing Cars.
See If They Slow Down.
2. On all your cheque stubs, write ' For Marijuana'
3. Skip down the street Rather Than Walk and see how many looks
you get..
4. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat,with a serious
face.
5. Sing Along At The Opera.
6. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'
7. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Car Park,
Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'
8. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We are
Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'
And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity
9. PICK UP A BOX OF CONDOMS AT THE PHARMACY, GO TO THE
COUNTER AND ASK WHERE THE FITTING ROOM IS.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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class !!!!
i do the skipping down the street thing,
also when to superdrug and asked for help picking a pergnancy test.... i was 7 months pregnant at the time u should o seen the womans face lol
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Daddy's car in the woods?
Little Johnny watched his daddy's car pass by the school playground and go into the woods.Curious, he followed the car and saw Daddy and Aunt Jane in a
passionate embrace.
Little Johnny found this so exciting that he could hardly contain himself as he ran home and
started to tell his mother.'Mummy, I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane.I went back to look and he was
giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, and then he helped her take off her shirt.Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane...'
At this point Mummy cut him off and said, 'Johnny, this is such an interesting story, lets save the rest of it for supper time.I want to see the look on Daddy's
face when you tell it tonight.'
At the dinner table that evening, Mummy asked little Johnny to tell his story Johnny started his story, 'I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane.I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirtThen Aunt Jane helped
Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane and Daddy started doing the same thing that Mummy and Uncle Bill used to do when Daddy was away on the oil rigs...'
Mummy fainted!
Moral:
Sometimes you need to just shut the f##k up and listen to the whole story
before you interrupt!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Mr Blobby is in bed with his wife and she says 'blobbubloobby blobb blobbblobbloob'. Mr Blobby replies, 'for fucks sake, just be a good girl and swallow it. |
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