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Fugy The Car Jacker

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Fugy, son of Fugy, had finished shopping for the things on his weekly list.

He hated shopping at Morrisons supermarket. He kept promising himself he'd shop at the new Tesco. But he liked drooling over Richard Hammond when the TV adverts ran. So, he kept going to Morrisons in the hope that he would "bump" into the Hamster.

He walked briskly (not easy when you are Fugy) towards his car which he'd left in the car park.

As he approached his little red and yellow convertible, he saw four youths about to drive away in his car. Fugy knew that BIg Ears would have been furious if he lost the car.

Fugy started to get so angry that his cheeks actually got a rosy glow. He dropped his shopping bags to the ground. Then, he withdrew a baseball bat from his trouser leg and screamed as loud as his little lungs would allow at the four miscreants.

'I have a bat here and I know how to use it. Get out of the car you horrible little men.'

The youths didn't wait around. They ran as fast, and as far, as they could from the strange looking gnome approaching them wielding a large twig.

Fugy, feeling somewhat shaken and uncharacteristically heterosexual, proceeded to load his shopping into the car. He got into the driver's seat.

As hard as poor little Fugy tried, he could not get his key into the ignition. Slowly, ever so slowly, it began to dawn on him why.

Looking up, he saw his own car in the next row. Coyly, he got out of the car and crept across the car park. He put his bags into his own car. He drove carefully, just the way Big Ears had taught him, to the nearest Police Station.

As Desk Sargeant View was recounting the tale to the DCI Toon Fugy wondered why Toon kept giggling and smiling.

Eventually Toon pointed to the end of the counter where our favourite gnome saw four young lads, still looking terrified, described how a little old gnome, some 4' 5 tall, wearing red velvet pantaloons, yellow gingham shirt, green waistcoat and pointy hat had stolen their car by waving a big twig at them.....