FabSwingers.com > Forums > Scotland > No Replies to messages
No Replies to messages
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I'm a very social person and maybe it is me but I haven't had any real engaging replies. I message politely and do not make it sexual and let the lady decide where the conversation will go.
I guess I'm asking if I am too nice? I have Face paics and of my manhood should people wish to checkout.
I'll give an example. Messaged a Woman about how pretty her eyes were and I'd like to get know more about her as she looked interesting... Message..Deleted.
Help. |
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Your message above is longer than your profile is. No matter how great your message is if your profile is lacking then we wouldn't reply. It's your shop window to the world of fab and if you put no effort into it we assume that's the same level of effort you would put into a meet. Like most things in life you get out what you put in. Improve your profile text and get some better pics and keep moving forward.
Same goes with lack of veris, try getting to a planned social or club. Good luck! |
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"I'm a very social person and maybe it is me but I haven't had any real engaging replies. I message politely and do not make it sexual and let the lady decide where the conversation will go.
I guess I'm asking if I am too nice? I have Face paics and of my manhood should people wish to checkout.
I'll give an example. Messaged a Woman about how pretty her eyes were and I'd like to get know more about her as she looked interesting... Message..Deleted.
Help."
It's not really much of a conversation starter |
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By *ark3a0Man
over a year ago
Glasgow |
"Your message above is longer than your profile is. No matter how great your message is if your profile is lacking then we wouldn't reply. It's your shop window to the world of fab and if you put no effort into it we assume that's the same level of effort you would put into a meet. Like most things in life you get out what you put in. Improve your profile text and get some better pics and keep moving forward.
Same goes with lack of veris, try getting to a planned social or club. Good luck!"
100% I agree. Just patience and honesty. But that doesn’t work all the times. It doesn’t mean if you praise someone they will fall for it. There profile says what they are looking for. If you have those qualities then they will get back to you.
Sometimes you’re not sure you are messaging the right person   |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm a very social person and maybe it is me but I haven't had any real engaging replies. I message politely and do not make it sexual and let the lady decide where the conversation will go.
I guess I'm asking if I am too nice? I have Face paics and of my manhood should people wish to checkout.
I'll give an example. Messaged a Woman about how pretty her eyes were and I'd like to get know more about her as she looked interesting... Message..Deleted.
Help.
It's not really much of a conversation starter "
So how would you like the conversation to start ? Looking at your profile it doesn't tell me anything about you, so where would I start? I don't want to come over and say how nice you are and that I want to do everything in your interests list. I want to know the person. What you do, where your from etc. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I'll give an example. Messaged a Woman about how pretty her eyes were and I'd like to get know more about her as she looked interesting... Message..Deleted.
Help."
I’m a be honest, if you try too hard it would seem creepy. No I will be more honest, it probably was really creepy buddy.
Read profiles, don’t be an oddball and speak to people the way you would as if you were in person.
Change your profile asap. The photos are not splendid, try a torso pic or you in a shirt. Remove the face pic, it’s a crimewatch effort.
Trim your pubes and stop putting statuses up about wanking yourself so much you’re not swollen. This really should just be common sense man cmon
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"As bad as it may sound and I genuinely don't mean any offence , if they were into you they'd reply , fab really isn't a one size fits all . "
100% I agree with that. I understand they might not be attracted to me but a wee reply of sorry not my type, something like that. A wee bit feedback would be nice is what I'm getting at I suppose? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
I’m a be honest, if you try too hard it would seem creepy. No I will be more honest, it probably was really creepy buddy.
Read profiles, don’t be an oddball and speak to people the way you would as if you were in person.
Change your profile asap. The photos are not splendid, try a torso pic or you in a shirt. Remove the face pic, it’s a crimewatch effort.
Trim your pubes and stop putting statuses up about wanking yourself so much you’re not swollen. This really should just be common sense man cmon
"
So compliments to someone is creepy? From what I've read in profiles, some won't reply without a face picture, so I have one.
It might be obvious to you but someone who is new to the site. It is not.
I thought woman want compliments and general chat before running up with a look at my anatomy, let me sick it in you, I'll do what you want on your list of you let me... I know I wouldn't appreciate that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I’m a be honest, if you try too hard it would seem creepy. No I will be more honest, it probably was really creepy buddy.
Read profiles, don’t be an oddball and speak to people the way you would as if you were in person.
Change your profile asap. The photos are not splendid, try a torso pic or you in a shirt. Remove the face pic, it’s a crimewatch effort.
Trim your pubes and stop putting statuses up about wanking yourself so much you’re not swollen. This really should just be common sense man cmon
So compliments to someone is creepy? From what I've read in profiles, some won't reply without a face picture, so I have one.
It might be obvious to you but someone who is new to the site. It is not.
I thought woman want compliments and general chat before running up with a look at my anatomy, let me sick it in you, I'll do what you want on your list of you let me... I know I wouldn't appreciate that "
I hate compliments specially from someone i dont know, if guys message me saying things about me how nice etc i just feel its cringey and no amount of compliments will get you in my knickers |
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As a guy you’re probably oblivious to the fact that single female profiles get about 50 messages a day. I don’t have time to individually reply to them all saying ‘No Thanks’ as that turns something that’s supposed to be fun into a chore.
If the first line of the message is engaging I open and read the message, if I can see it’s a ‘Hi, How RU’ I just delete without opening. If I open and read the message my next filter is clicking on the profile. I look for an interesting profile, more than a couple of lines, telling me a little bit about yourself and also verifications. I’m afraid there’s a lot of fantasists out there that aren’t ever going to meet so unless I see a verification I’m unlikely to click on photos. I’m not shallow and driven by looks but if I get to photos and they’re all dick pics or photos with a girls face on show I’ll probably then delete and walk away. Get that far and I will reply - usually a ‘No but if you’re at a club let me know’ as I prefer club only meets these days(back to fantasists and being let down by too many No Shows)
I’m sure I’m not the only female that uses these methods of filtering. Basically don’t take it personally but try to improve the profile to get to the top of the list. Verifications are hard to gather but try find a social - let people see you’re real or go to a club and again socialise and chat to people. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Don’t stress buddy people don’t even answer my questions when I ask something about their topic on the forums 
Don’t take fab to personally "
Some people say they are in this for "fun" I just find some people rude.lol |
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"As bad as it may sound and I genuinely don't mean any offence , if they were into you they'd reply , fab really isn't a one size fits all . "
I was just about to say that. If I'm interested in someone il reply, if Im not attracted to them I won't.
I see many men complain on their status that this place is full of people not wanting to meet etc when in reality it's just that people aren't interested in them as many people do meet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don’t stress buddy people don’t even answer my questions when I ask something about their topic on the forums
Don’t take fab to personally
Some people say they are in this for "fun" I just find some people rude.lol"
In what way are people rude? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
I hate compliments specially from someone i dont know, if guys message me saying things about me how nice etc i just feel its cringey and no amount of compliments will get you in my knickers"
I appreciate the feedback, if you don't mind, how would you like a conversation to start? |
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"As bad as it may sound and I genuinely don't mean any offence , if they were into you they'd reply , fab really isn't a one size fits all .
100% I agree with that. I understand they might not be attracted to me but a wee reply of sorry not my type, something like that. A wee bit feedback would be nice is what I'm getting at I suppose? "
Why should women reply that when it should be pretty obvious they aren't interested if they don't reply?
I'd need to give up my job to spend the time to be letting everyone down that I'm not interested in  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I hate compliments specially from someone i dont know, if guys message me saying things about me how nice etc i just feel its cringey and no amount of compliments will get you in my knickers
I appreciate the feedback, if you don't mind, how would you like a conversation to start? "
Like another poster said i check out profiles 1st when i recieve a message if its filled with dick pics and not alot written or if im not attracted to them it doesnt matter what the message is like i will either not reply or reply sorry not for me |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"As a guy you’re probably oblivious to the fact that single female profiles get about 50 messages a day. I don’t have time to individually reply to them all saying ‘No Thanks’ as that turns something that’s supposed to be fun into a chore.
If the first line of the message is engaging I open and read the message, if I can see it’s a ‘Hi, How RU’ I just delete without opening. If I open and read the message my next filter is clicking on the profile. I look for an interesting profile, more than a couple of lines, telling me a little bit about yourself and also verifications. I’m afraid there’s a lot of fantasists out there that aren’t ever going to meet so unless I see a verification I’m unlikely to click on photos. I’m not shallow and driven by looks but if I get to photos and they’re all dick pics or photos with a girls face on show I’ll probably then delete and walk away. Get that far and I will reply - usually a ‘No but if you’re at a club let me know’ as I prefer club only meets these days(back to fantasists and being let down by too many No Shows)
I’m sure I’m not the only female that uses these methods of filtering. Basically don’t take it personally but try to improve the profile to get to the top of the list. Verifications are hard to gather but try find a social - let people see you’re real or go to a club and again socialise and chat to people. "
I appreciate that, I've been to AD in Edinburgh and loved the people and atmosphere. Its good to know how you filter out. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don’t stress buddy people don’t even answer my questions when I ask something about their topic on the forums
Don’t take fab to personally
Some people say they are in this for "fun" I just find some people rude.lol"
Put yourself in the shoes of the people you are messaging mate. They get hundreds of messages per week. Some of it will be vulgar, some will be dick pics and most will be the same type of message every other guy sends. Now add in their daily life stresses etc and tell me if you would reply to messages from profiles that aren’t really grabbing your attention.
The key to fab for a guy is to get involved in the social side, or have a 6 pack and bbc but for you it’s the social side my friend |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I'm might be old fashioned and think a polite no would be nice. Just me a take it.
I don't want to waste my time or anyone else's and if doesn't work out then I'll leave the site. |
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Ok next time you’re at AD, exchange Fab names ask for verifications. Verify them. Verifications are your strongest currency. I believe there’s a Fife telegram group advertised on here - get yourself added to that and chat? I’m in a few telegram groups and find them very sociable and a good way to know guys. You seem intelligent and interesting - you just need to find a way to get girls to see that |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Don’t stress buddy people don’t even answer my questions when I ask something about their topic on the forums
Don’t take fab to personally
Some people say they are in this for "fun" I just find some people rude.lol
Put yourself in the shoes of the people you are messaging mate. They get hundreds of messages per week. Some of it will be vulgar, some will be dick pics and most will be the same type of message every other guy sends. Now add in their daily life stresses etc and tell me if you would reply to messages from profiles that aren’t really grabbing your attention.
The key to fab for a guy is to get involved in the social side, or have a 6 pack and bbc but for you it’s the social side my friend "
100% social side for me lol I'm not punching nothing special, I enjoy the social element for me. I've pulled at more gigs than here anyway ?? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Ok next time you’re at AD, exchange Fab names ask for verifications. Verify them. Verifications are your strongest currency. I believe there’s a Fife telegram group advertised on here - get yourself added to that and chat? I’m in a few telegram groups and find them very sociable and a good way to know guys. You seem intelligent and interesting - you just need to find a way to get girls to see that "
I appreciate that thank you very much |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm might be old fashioned and think a polite no would be nice. Just me a take it.
I don't want to waste my time or anyone else's and if doesn't work out then I'll leave the site."
Since ive been online for 30 minutes ive had 20 messages, most havent read my profile and most have sent pics of their dicks, if i had to message them all back to say no thanks that would take so much time then il get the ones asking why? And the ones being abusive then by the time av replied to them all av another 20odd that i probs wont be interested in... a no reply means a no thanks |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm might be old fashioned and think a polite no would be nice. Just me a take it.
I don't want to waste my time or anyone else's and if doesn't work out then I'll leave the site.
Since ive been online for 30 minutes ive had 20 messages, most havent read my profile and most have sent pics of their dicks, if i had to message them all back to say no thanks that would take so much time then il get the ones asking why? And the ones being abusive then by the time av replied to them all av another 20odd that i probs wont be interested in... a no reply means a no thanks"
Check you out little miss popular |
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"I'm might be old fashioned and think a polite no would be nice. Just me a take it.
I don't want to waste my time or anyone else's and if doesn't work out then I'll leave the site."
I also think it's polite to receive a, "no thank you", but quite often, when women send a message like that they receive a torrent of abuse, so will block you rather than reply to you.
That's just how FAB works.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm might be old fashioned and think a polite no would be nice. Just me a take it.
I don't want to waste my time or anyone else's and if doesn't work out then I'll leave the site.
Since ive been online for 30 minutes ive had 20 messages, most havent read my profile and most have sent pics of their dicks, if i had to message them all back to say no thanks that would take so much time then il get the ones asking why? And the ones being abusive then by the time av replied to them all av another 20odd that i probs wont be interested in... a no reply means a no thanks
Check you out little miss popular "
What can i say  |
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Constructive criticism
The vibe your profile gives off is:
"Here's my penis from the left, here's my penis from the right, here's my penis up close, here's a pic of me not smiling and here's me not smiling but slightly further from the camera".
You could have an amazing profile introduction but the photos are letting you down as there's nothing there to separate you from the crowd. My profile isn't any better by the way.
My advice is smile more, take a selfie with a Llama or any other cute animal. Try to include photos of your interests. Why? Because humans are inquisitive to things that go against the grain. It opens up the possibility for people to discuss something other than the same line they've heard a thousand times. Have fun with it and let that fun reflect in your profile.
Good luck. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm might be old fashioned and think a polite no would be nice. Just me a take it.
I don't want to waste my time or anyone else's and if doesn't work out then I'll leave the site."
The site rules (those, site help and FAQ’s are very informative) state a non response should be taken as a polite no thank you. The reason for that is women get inundated and as others have said if you do say no thanks it often opens up a further response of things like “why not” “can we chat anyway” etc etc.
Some use fab as a hook up site but theirs many more that embrace it more socially. There’s lots of good advice on your thread, if you search the forum you’ll get more.
Good Luck  |
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"I'm a very social person and maybe it is me but I haven't had any real engaging replies. I message politely and do not make it sexual and let the lady decide where the conversation will go.
I guess I'm asking if I am too nice? I have Face paics and of my manhood should people wish to checkout.
I'll give an example. Messaged a Woman about how pretty her eyes were and I'd like to get know more about her as she looked interesting... Message..Deleted.
Help.
It's not really much of a conversation starter
So how would you like the conversation to start ? Looking at your profile it doesn't tell me anything about you, so where would I start? I don't want to come over and say how nice you are and that I want to do everything in your interests list. I want to know the person. What you do, where your from etc. "
If you are messaging someone you know nothing about it shows in your messages you send. Stick with profiles you know you have something in common with |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don’t stress buddy people don’t even answer my questions when I ask something about their topic on the forums
Don’t take fab to personally "
100pc agree.
I leave private notes against profiles just to remind me any particular things days or names or reasons so I don't go messaging again or helps to reconnect if there's been a change in circumstances.. chat fades and deletes over time, so I use that to remind myself. |
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Most women have all the filters on their profiles, guys will then sometimes get a warning saying you’ve already messaged and not received a reply! As soon as women reply back no thanks at least half the guys on here see that reply as the start of a conversation. You definitely need to put the dick pics into friends only and put a normal photo up of chest or bum! The minute I see a load of photos of a dick it’s a definite no! Also as stated above about whiny posts, I block guys local to me when I see those posts as they just come across as entitled idiots that expect the women of fab to drop their pants for them without even trying |
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"Don’t stress buddy people don’t even answer my questions when I ask something about their topic on the forums
Don’t take fab to personally
100pc agree.
I leave private notes against profiles just to remind me any particular things days or names or reasons so I don't go messaging again or helps to reconnect if there's been a change in circumstances.. chat fades and deletes over time, so I use that to remind myself. "
I also use the private notes section constantly to remind myself of things, if a guy/couple message loads for a day then go offline for two months, I’ll leave myself a note to remind myself not to waste my time next time or to mark guys as those I wouldn’t go near due to their veris etc haha! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don’t stress buddy people don’t even answer my questions when I ask something about their topic on the forums
Don’t take fab to personally
100pc agree.
I leave private notes against profiles just to remind me any particular things days or names or reasons so I don't go messaging again or helps to reconnect if there's been a change in circumstances.. chat fades and deletes over time, so I use that to remind myself. "
Where is the option to do that? I've never noticed anything like it |
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"Don’t stress buddy people don’t even answer my questions when I ask something about their topic on the forums
Don’t take fab to personally
100pc agree.
I leave private notes against profiles just to remind me any particular things days or names or reasons so I don't go messaging again or helps to reconnect if there's been a change in circumstances.. chat fades and deletes over time, so I use that to remind myself.
Where is the option to do that? I've never noticed anything like it"
Click on a profile and where it says like message|wink|hotlist|menu at the top, click on menu then add private note |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don’t stress buddy people don’t even answer my questions when I ask something about their topic on the forums
Don’t take fab to personally
100pc agree.
I leave private notes against profiles just to remind me any particular things days or names or reasons so I don't go messaging again or helps to reconnect if there's been a change in circumstances.. chat fades and deletes over time, so I use that to remind myself.
Where is the option to do that? I've never noticed anything like it
Click on a profile and where it says like message|wink|hotlist|menu at the top, click on menu then add private note "
Oh. Schoolday. Thank you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yeah, just saying that whilst it's understandable to get a little frustrated with lack of replies it's also fair that cpls and gal's receive so many messages per day it can get overwhelming (I've experienced whilst on the other side of the fence too). Hopefully we can all get some enjoyable experiences off fab. It's one of the best around in my opinion. :0] |
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By *ibliosWoman
over a year ago
Edinburgh |
If you're looking for a magic, one-size-fits-all formula, you won't find it. Some women will appreciate (considered, sincere) compliments, others will find that a bit ick as a first message. Some will be fine talking about their jobs or family or where they live, many are wary of getting into that with online strangers. If someone doesn't find your message 'engaging' that's their prerogative, most folk appreciate good craic but that looks very different to everyone. Trying to over-engineer a 'perfect' first message won't help you in the long run anyway, so best to stick with what you're comfortable with (assuming you're reading profiles and writing individual messages, not spamming randoms with drivel) and hope eventually someone clicks with it. |
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"As a guy you’re probably oblivious to the fact that single female profiles get about 50 messages a day. I don’t have time to individually reply to them all saying ‘No Thanks’ as that turns something that’s supposed to be fun into a chore.
If the first line of the message is engaging I open and read the message, if I can see it’s a ‘Hi, How RU’ I just delete without opening. If I open and read the message my next filter is clicking on the profile. I look for an interesting profile, more than a couple of lines, telling me a little bit about yourself and also verifications. I’m afraid there’s a lot of fantasists out there that aren’t ever going to meet so unless I see a verification I’m unlikely to click on photos. I’m not shallow and driven by looks but if I get to photos and they’re all dick pics or photos with a girls face on show I’ll probably then delete and walk away. Get that far and I will reply - usually a ‘No but if you’re at a club let me know’ as I prefer club only meets these days(back to fantasists and being let down by too many No Shows)
I’m sure I’m not the only female that uses these methods of filtering. Basically don’t take it personally but try to improve the profile to get to the top of the list. Verifications are hard to gather but try find a social - let people see you’re real or go to a club and again socialise and chat to people. "
Very true , good advice here |
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"As bad as it may sound and I genuinely don't mean any offence , if they were into you they'd reply , fab really isn't a one size fits all .
100% I agree with that. I understand they might not be attracted to me but a wee reply of sorry not my type, something like that. A wee bit feedback would be nice is what I'm getting at I suppose? "
The FAQs clearly state that no one is entitled to a reply. |
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"Don’t stress buddy people don’t even answer my questions when I ask something about their topic on the forums
Don’t take fab to personally
100pc agree.
I leave private notes against profiles just to remind me any particular things days or names or reasons so I don't go messaging again or helps to reconnect if there's been a change in circumstances.. chat fades and deletes over time, so I use that to remind myself.
I also use the private notes section constantly to remind myself of things, if a guy/couple message loads for a day then go offline for two months, I’ll leave myself a note to remind myself not to waste my time next time or to mark guys as those I wouldn’t go near due to their veris etc haha! "
Same, the notes section is worth the fee alone! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
I'll give an example. Messaged a Woman about how pretty her eyes were and I'd like to get know more about her as she looked interesting... Message..Deleted.
Help.
I’m a be honest, if you try too hard it would seem creepy. No I will be more honest, it probably was really creepy buddy.
Read profiles, don’t be an oddball and speak to people the way you would as if you were in person.
Change your profile asap. The photos are not splendid, try a torso pic or you in a shirt. Remove the face pic, it’s a crimewatch effort.
Trim your pubes and stop putting statuses up about wanking yourself so much you’re not swollen. This really should just be common sense man cmon
"
This |
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Could I be as so rude as to ask for feedback on my bio? Just updated it after a quick scan of some of the stuff here. May also have bastardised some of the suggestions into my own words (if I did I owe you a beer or wine if I ever make it to a social!)
It may need spell checked once I’m done with work just a quick attempt while on lunch. Thanks in advance! |
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"Could I be as so rude as to ask for feedback on my bio? Just updated it after a quick scan of some of the stuff here. May also have bastardised some of the suggestions into my own words (if I did I owe you a beer or wine if I ever make it to a social!)
It may need spell checked once I’m done with work just a quick attempt while on lunch. Thanks in advance! "
Nothing like trying to add a bit of swimming to a relationship
I like that your profile has sentences and paragraphs. That’s a great start.
The only thing that jumps out at me, is no profile pic. I don’t generally even open messages with the blank silhouette. J x |
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"Could I be as so rude as to ask for feedback on my bio? Just updated it after a quick scan of some of the stuff here. May also have bastardised some of the suggestions into my own words (if I did I owe you a beer or wine if I ever make it to a social!)
It may need spell checked once I’m done with work just a quick attempt while on lunch. Thanks in advance!
Nothing like trying to add a bit of swimming to a relationship
I like that your profile has sentences and paragraphs. That’s a great start.
The only thing that jumps out at me, is no profile pic. I don’t generally even open messages with the blank silhouette. J x"
Yep same, although I'd lose the bit about d*unken antics |
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Thanks J. Didn’t realise the profile pic bit was like that. I’ve sorted it now, thoughts on the pic instead ok or would it put you off? Don’t really want a face pic up although have done in the past and would send in private etc.
Haha I’ve made worse typos than swimming!! Also fixed that thank you.
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"Could I be as so rude as to ask for feedback on my bio? Just updated it after a quick scan of some of the stuff here. May also have bastardised some of the suggestions into my own words (if I did I owe you a beer or wine if I ever make it to a social!)
It may need spell checked once I’m done with work just a quick attempt while on lunch. Thanks in advance!
Nothing like trying to add a bit of swimming to a relationship
I like that your profile has sentences and paragraphs. That’s a great start.
The only thing that jumps out at me, is no profile pic. I don’t generally even open messages with the blank silhouette. J x
Yep same, although I'd lose the bit about d*unken antics "
D*unk anticts removed thank you for the input. |
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"Thanks J. Didn’t realise the profile pic bit was like that. I’ve sorted it now, thoughts on the pic instead ok or would it put you off? Don’t really want a face pic up although have done in the past and would send in private etc.
Haha I’ve made worse typos than swimming!! Also fixed that thank you.
"
Love the profile picture, gorgeous scenery.
I totally understand about not putting up a face pic, I wouldn’t have ours as a profile pic so I don’t expect it from others.
A bum or torso, or full body, is always sexier and more appealing than a dick pic. Jx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Not wishing to stereotype you but surely being a DJ is a good way to meet people?"
It sure is a good way to meet people. Here you can talk about what each person likes, turn on etc, in a club it's not the same lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don’t stress buddy people don’t even answer my questions when I ask something about their topic on the forums
Don’t take fab to personally
100pc agree.
I leave private notes against profiles just to remind me any particular things days or names or reasons so I don't go messaging again or helps to reconnect if there's been a change in circumstances.. chat fades and deletes over time, so I use that to remind myself.
I also use the private notes section constantly to remind myself of things, if a guy/couple message loads for a day then go offline for two months, I’ll leave myself a note to remind myself not to waste my time next time or to mark guys as those I wouldn’t go near due to their veris etc haha! "
Yes me too ! My memory just isn't good enough so it's very handy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As bad as it may sound and I genuinely don't mean any offence , if they were into you they'd reply , fab really isn't a one size fits all .
100% I agree with that. I understand they might not be attracted to me but a wee reply of sorry not my type, something like that. A wee bit feedback would be nice is what I'm getting at I suppose?
The FAQs clearly state that no one is entitled to a reply."
This is the problem. It is bullshit. So if someone says hello to me politely out in public I always reply with a courteous hello back. It's common mannerly behaviour. This 'fab rule' is what causes a lot of the edgy replies and problems because it somehow promotes rude behaviour. It's doesn't matter the adopted 'rules' it has always been rude to be ignorant. Simple.
I have had short polite replies from some of the busiest popular profiles on here, so if they can politely say thanks but no thanks then so can everybody else |
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"As bad as it may sound and I genuinely don't mean any offence , if they were into you they'd reply , fab really isn't a one size fits all .
100% I agree with that. I understand they might not be attracted to me but a wee reply of sorry not my type, something like that. A wee bit feedback would be nice is what I'm getting at I suppose?
The FAQs clearly state that no one is entitled to a reply.
This is the problem. It is bullshit. So if someone says hello to me politely out in public I always reply with a courteous hello back. It's common mannerly behaviour. This 'fab rule' is what causes a lot of the edgy replies and problems because it somehow promotes rude behaviour. It's doesn't matter the adopted 'rules' it has always been rude to be ignorant. Simple.
I have had short polite replies from some of the busiest popular profiles on here, so if they can politely say thanks but no thanks then so can everybody else "
Depends how well they can keep up with their admin.
Just because some can doesn't mean we all have to. Rude or not you are not entitled to a reply.
Just as you aren't entitled on any other site.
I'm sure if you were to walk down the street and get a hundred hellos everyday it would get tiresome.  |
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I agree, I try to be polite with a respectful 'no' but this is rarely graciously accepted and often followed with pushy/rude messages. If I don't find the profile appealing then its unlikely I will engage in conversation or anything else with them. In fact, the forum helps me add to my block list! |
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"I agree, I try to be polite with a respectful 'no' but this is rarely graciously accepted and often followed with pushy/rude messages. If I don't find the profile appealing then its unlikely I will engage in conversation or anything else with them. In fact, the forum helps me add to my block list!"
this.
99% of the time If I replied I'd get abuse or them being pushy asking why not etc.
I think the forum allows us all to do this |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As bad as it may sound and I genuinely don't mean any offence , if they were into you they'd reply , fab really isn't a one size fits all .
100% I agree with that. I understand they might not be attracted to me but a wee reply of sorry not my type, something like that. A wee bit feedback would be nice is what I'm getting at I suppose?
The FAQs clearly state that no one is entitled to a reply.
This is the problem. It is bullshit. So if someone says hello to me politely out in public I always reply with a courteous hello back. It's common mannerly behaviour. This 'fab rule' is what causes a lot of the edgy replies and problems because it somehow promotes rude behaviour. It's doesn't matter the adopted 'rules' it has always been rude to be ignorant. Simple.
I have had short polite replies from some of the busiest popular profiles on here, so if they can politely say thanks but no thanks then so can everybody else "
The popular profiles might not have busy schedules families work etc so they have the time to reply, not everyone spends their day on fab |
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"I agree, I try to be polite with a respectful 'no' but this is rarely graciously accepted and often followed with pushy/rude messages. If I don't find the profile appealing then its unlikely I will engage in conversation or anything else with them. In fact, the forum helps me add to my block list!
this.
99% of the time If I replied I'd get abuse or them being pushy asking why not etc.
I think the forum allows us all to do this "
And another in agreement on this on both fronts!
As others have previously pointed out- do you reply to all unsolicited junk mail that's posted through your door when it's something you're not interested in? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If the first line of the message is engaging I open and read the message, if I can see it’s a ‘Hi, How RU’ I just delete without opening. If I open and read the message my next filter is clicking on the profile. I look for an interesting profile, more than a couple of lines, telling me a little bit about yourself and also verifications. I’m afraid there’s a lot of fantasists out there that aren’t ever going to meet so unless I see a verification I’m unlikely to click on photos. I’m not shallow and driven by looks but if I get to photos and they’re all dick pics or photos with a girls face on show I’ll probably then delete and walk away. Get that far and I will reply - usually a ‘No but if you’re at a club let me know’ as I prefer club only meets these days(back to fantasists and being let down by too many No Shows)
I’m sure I’m not the only female that uses these methods of filtering. Basically don’t take it personally but try to improve the profile to get to the top of the list. Verifications are hard to gather but try find a social - let people see you’re real or go to a club and again socialise and chat to people. "
This has pretty much been our experience and also how we manage messages. It's also now why we prefer clubs. |
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You asked.....
Manhood pics are ten a penny. Even the monster cocks become a bit "meh" after a while. Your dick pics aren't particularly enticing.
There are some complete fucking nutters on here. If a man comments specifically on a piece of my anatomy then I'm thinking he's a budding Jeffrey Dahmer type and you're imagining my eyeballs pickled in a jar on your mantlepiece. So these kind of messages can come across as cheesy at best and creepy as fuck at worst.
Go to a social. Some people just don't project themselves particularly well in the written word. The wee subtle characteristics that make you unique will come across in person. You may even meet your very own Mrs Dahmer. |
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"As bad as it may sound and I genuinely don't mean any offence , if they were into you they'd reply , fab really isn't a one size fits all .
100% I agree with that. I understand they might not be attracted to me but a wee reply of sorry not my type, something like that. A wee bit feedback would be nice is what I'm getting at I suppose?
The FAQs clearly state that no one is entitled to a reply.
This is the problem. It is bullshit. So if someone says hello to me politely out in public I always reply with a courteous hello back. It's common mannerly behaviour. This 'fab rule' is what causes a lot of the edgy replies and problems because it somehow promotes rude behaviour. It's doesn't matter the adopted 'rules' it has always been rude to be ignorant. Simple.
I have had short polite replies from some of the busiest popular profiles on here, so if they can politely say thanks but no thanks then so can everybody else "
You could be the 10th message that day that the woman is about to reply to and she'll think, "can I be arsed? I've just had 9 messages back asking me if I'm sure I don't want to meet/Telling me I'm an ugly fat cow/calling me a time waster."
I honestly think some men need to grow a thicker skin on here. If you don't get replies it's not
necessarily because the women think you're a completely horrible individual. Stop taking things so personal.
If that hypothetical stranger on the street walked past you when you said hello, would you spend the rest of your day telling anyone who would listen about the absolute cheek of that stranger who ignored you? Would you post on an Internet forum and be all outraged? Don't think you would.
Stop taking everything personal. |
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By (user no longer on site) 47 weeks ago
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Lol .. not taking anything personal at all although it is a fairly personal thing, communication.. I was merely pointing out the facts with common mannerly behaviour that seems to be actively discouraged on here. Yes nobody is 'entitled' (much over used modernist phrase these days) to a reply but that doesn't make the lack of such not a rude gesture. Its not offensive, but if you'd been nothing but polite and nice to the umpteenth lady on here with absolutely zero replies you'd get at least mildly peeved off too. |
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"Lol .. not taking anything personal at all although it is a fairly personal thing, communication.. I was merely pointing out the facts with common mannerly behaviour that seems to be actively discouraged on here. Yes nobody is 'entitled' (much over used modernist phrase these days) to a reply but that doesn't make the lack of such not a rude gesture. Its not offensive, but if you'd been nothing but polite and nice to the umpteenth lady on here with absolutely zero replies you'd get at least mildly peeved off too. "
What if every single time your phone rang it was a cold call? Someone only doing their job, very polite & respectful. But they kept on calling back after you told them they weren't interested. And I between this person calling, you had other cold callers, also offering you stuff you weren't interested in.
You'd maybe start off polite, possibly lose your temper after a bit, then block the number.
This is the reason I have my message filters on btw. |
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"Lol .. not taking anything personal at all although it is a fairly personal thing, communication.. I was merely pointing out the facts with common mannerly behaviour that seems to be actively discouraged on here. Yes nobody is 'entitled' (much over used modernist phrase these days) to a reply but that doesn't make the lack of such not a rude gesture. Its not offensive, but if you'd been nothing but polite and nice to the umpteenth lady on here with absolutely zero replies you'd get at least mildly peeved off too. "
Would it make you feel better to have a sea of yellow messages all say no thanks. Guys would be moaning about the admin required to delete them all |
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By (user no longer on site) 47 weeks ago
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Ultimately you are dealing with people, With their own preferences and attractions.
Some might like personality, some might want looks, But ultimately if you walked up to someone in a bar and said hi you have nice eyes and then whipped your cock out, I doubt that would work.
Pretty much the same here, Except you need to be more patient and understanding of individual people and if what you want matches what they want, I know if i was getting 30 messages an hour i wouldn’t be sending lovely wee messages to everyone i wasn’t interested in. |
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"Ultimately you are dealing with people, With their own preferences and attractions.
Some might like personality, some might want looks, But ultimately if you walked up to someone in a bar and said hi you have nice eyes and then whipped your cock out, I doubt that would work.
Pretty much the same here, Except you need to be more patient and understanding of individual people and if what you want matches what they want, I know if i was getting 30 messages an hour i wouldn’t be sending lovely wee messages to everyone i wasn’t interested in. "
Facts likes, can't even lie I'd probs delete the account or fuck
on with filters so no cunt could message me and do my own searching |
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it sucks feel frustrated feel invisible I'm glad I'm not the only one 