FabSwingers.com > Forums > Scotland > Building connection reg meets & socials
Building connection reg meets & socials
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By *at-me-drink-me OP Woman
over a year ago
w.lothian.TAKE ME TO WONDERLAND |
Any 1 else find that over the past few year alot of people on here just want a quick fuck .no effort in getting to know you ... no offer of a social or a chat 1st....are social meets no longer an option? |
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By *hyme2020Woman
over a year ago
Glasgow Scotland |
"Any 1 else find that over the past few year alot of people on here just want a quick fuck .no effort in getting to know you ... no offer of a social or a chat 1st....are social meets no longer an option?"
I have been on 3+ years and I find that seems to be the way it is on here. Whether it’s always been like that I don’t know, but I prefer to chat and get to know someone and would rather meet them for a social first, but most seem to run a mile at the suggestion of a social or find excuses not to do it. |
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By *at-me-drink-me OP Woman
over a year ago
w.lothian.TAKE ME TO WONDERLAND |
"Any 1 else find that over the past few year alot of people on here just want a quick fuck .no effort in getting to know you ... no offer of a social or a chat 1st....are social meets no longer an option?
I have been on 3+ years and I find that seems to be the way it is on here. Whether it’s always been like that I don’t know, but I prefer to chat and get to know someone and would rather meet them for a social first, but most seem to run a mile at the suggestion of a social or find excuses not to do it. "
Ive been on around 6/7 year i think arranging socials were easier.think alot of people see it as a sex site and forget that there is a social side to swinginging |
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I joined this site for the coffee club - but for real it’s likely a lot of people, men and women, are horny there and then and want that down to business meet. I on the other hand need gallons of coffee as a result of two kids who were unfortunately up late and up early  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think socials are all part of the experience, the building of the sexual tension and connection is what makes sex so satisfying. Dont get me wrong a hot hard frantic quickie can be fantastic but only usually satisfying with a known partner. Suppose at the other end of it is prob why dogging is popular, the anonimity and spontaneous fun can be a thrill too if you are so inclined |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Been around long enough to know a social is most important.
Not only can you leave a social absolutely buzzing after meeting really amazing people but they also provide you with the unforgettable times when you head home thinking “holy shite they were fucking mental”  |
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I’ve noticed that sticking to having a social first is a really good filter for those who just want a quick fuck.
Most can’t maintain the effort of even basic conversation over a couple of messages so I know they are definitely not for me. |
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"I’ve noticed that sticking to having a social first is a really good filter for those who just want a quick fuck.
Most can’t maintain the effort of even basic conversation over a couple of messages so I know they are definitely not for me."
Love a good social  |
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"Any 1 else find that over the past few year alot of people on here just want a quick fuck .no effort in getting to know you ... no offer of a social or a chat 1st....are social meets no longer an option?"
I think it’s always been the case on here .
Many will to jump in their car and go meet without ever having sat in front of the person and chatted to them .
For some it works for others it doesn’t .
I love a wee social where you can suss the person out and see if they are for you or not .
A wee Nawty flirt is always nice I’m my opinion .
Leaving that meet knowing there is a connection and looking forward to the more intimate meet is exciting .
Stick by your own rules Op and if they don’t want to meet socially 1st just tell them no thank you and move on to someone who does . |
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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago
Paisley |
When I first joined 12 years ago I had a message from a guy saying if he wanted a social he’s go to the golf club and that this wasn’t Facebook.
12 years later I’ve got a lovely group of friends some of whom are very good friends. I’ve also met someone through my regular coffee meet ups on a Sunday for Fab friends. I also do a quiz social which has been going for over 7 years and through that I’ve met some lovely people too.
It is possible to still have social meets if people want to make the effort. Personally, those are the meets that have lasted the longest and turned into friendships. They’ve also been really good fun to play with as well.
People use this as a sex site but they are often the same people who are on and off Fab every few months then complain no one wants to meet them.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ve noticed that sticking to having a social first is a really good filter for those who just want a quick fuck.
Most can’t maintain the effort of even basic conversation over a couple of messages so I know they are definitely not for me."
This. Its a great filter.  |
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I’m always up for chatting and having socials,
It’s the best way to get to know someone as I feel the better connection you can build with someone the better the sex will be. (That’s if you end up having sex haha) |
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By *isge BeathaWoman
over a year ago
Here, There and Everywhere |
"Any 1 else find that over the past few year alot of people on here just want a quick fuck .no effort in getting to know you ... no offer of a social or a chat 1st....are social meets no longer an option?"
I've never had a problem arranging a social. It's obvious from anyone that reads my profile/veris that I won't f*ck at the drop of a hat.
Anyone that wants a straight meet is blocked. I'd NEVER have a stranger in my house. Intelligence, attraction and the ability to hold a conversation is a must for me so a social is the only way to have that connection. |
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Yes, it’s a bit weird - I used to be on here as a couple and it was easy enough to make contact and arrange socials. I think meeting first to see if everyone gets on and have a bit of banter definitely leads to more relaxed and enjoyable times!
Much more difficult to get anything arranged as a single guy now, and it would actually be really nice to be able to meet people for coffee and a chat or a walk as I’m recovering from an op and the company would be great! |
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By *iatorMan
over a year ago
crossgates |
I've been swinging for MANY years and been here more years than I can remember both on couple and single profiles, been to all the Scottish clubs and think more and more people see this as a quick hook up site, yes sex is part of swinging but always argued that's just a part of it, it's a place to be you to be open and honest about what you like and don't a place to make connections with like minded people and that doesn't mean jump into bed with every person you say hi to, can't beat that cheeky glint in someone's eye when they feel comfortable in your presence and this (in my opinion) only gets better through banter and regular communication (not always sexual), I've always said people anyone are more than welcome to join me for a coffee a blether, just to chill, I enjoy having people around that don't pretend and that are open about who they are, I'm not here to sleep with half the site we all have our likes and dislikes but that doesn't mean we can't have 'pals' in the lifestyle where it doesn't lead to sex, everyone needs people in their life they can talk openly and honestly with so for me socials are an integral part of swinging. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Always a social first,has to be in MO.Ive been told,this ain't FB ,im not here for chat, only to fuck ,.I think its just makes sense to meet someone neutral have a chat get to know the person you're potentially going to meet again in a more laid back situation.Ive been coming to Fab for 13 coming up on 14 years on and off , i definitely Think the whole socials aspect has changed un many ways. |
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There needs to be a connection.
I always describe myself as a lover not a shagger, but from both men and women on here, I get the impression that there are more and more shaggers.
No disrespect, it's just I prefer a coffee/drink and a chat before getting hot and steamy.
M x x |
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By *iatorMan
over a year ago
crossgates |
"I think 90% of the people use it / think of it as a quick hook up or sex site and many get offended when the sex isnt so easy to get . Forgetting that a big part of swinging is the social side"
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By *ebmarMan
over a year ago
Edinburgh |
I think there are all types pf people. I have tried a couple of times to arrange lunch with some fabbers and I’m still to have one. I have been for drinks or coffee with a few and it was very nice always |
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I think my profile is pretty blunt about this subject but still get the chancers but also have had some lovely socials, some have developed into more others not so ! Trying to find someone who genuinely wants regular fun doesn’t seem to be as easy to find as when I first joined and perhaps why I’ve still got fwb going back years that I’ll occasionally revert back to lol |
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By *iatorMan
over a year ago
crossgates |
Hahaha just read your profile noshrinking and yip I'd agree it's pretty clear.
So if anyone fancies a fab friend m/f/or cpl feel free, no expectations no hidden agendas there's no reason as swingers we can't kick start the old social side of the lifestyle please feel free to get in touch, I am straight (not fab straight haha) so guys don't think it'll ever turn into more than a social but always happy to have a coffee and blether (I don't share chocolate so don't expect me to burst out the biccies though haha). I live on my own so generally available if you're 'in my neck of the woods' and fancy dropping in once again you're more than welcome kettles always on. |
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"I think my profile is pretty blunt about this subject but still get the chancers but also have had some lovely socials, some have developed into more others not so ! Trying to find someone who genuinely wants regular fun doesn’t seem to be as easy to find as when I first joined and perhaps why I’ve still got fwb going back years that I’ll occasionally revert back to lol "
Yeah I would say that’s pretty blunt, but refreshingly so! |
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"I think 90% of the people use it / think of it as a quick hook up or sex site and many get offended when the sex isnt so easy to get . Forgetting that a big part of swinging is the social side"
Totally agree! I’d actually like to meet some folk purely on a social basis as I have recently spent a lot of time in the house recovering from an op - it would be nice just to do some simple stuff again, coffee, short walks (so far!) or mini-golf and that sort of thing!
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We absolutely agree the days of socials seem to have disappeared lol most just want to get straight to it one and done as they say we have no objections to okay on first meet but we like to have a bit of a social first then if all happy then play and repeat plays lol |
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