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Straight attached guys looking for men
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I'm just curious what the women think of this and if your partner was seeing guys behind your back through fear of telling you how you would react? And Would you want to know?
I've met a guy off here 5 times in the last 3 weeks who initially told me he was single but I discovered on our last meet that in fact he's actually married and they also have a couples profile on here.
I have things in place that normally these guys out as while I'm OK with ethical non monogamy I'm not keen on cheats, I also get a bit pissed off at guys claiming they're straight to not scare off the ladies but chasing guys regardless.
somehow this guy managed it anyway, I can only assume his partner sleeps in another bed or they have sex with the lights out.
I very much doubt I'm the only guy he's been meeting either.
It's not my place to tell the guys wife and I've no interest in meeting him again but if your partner has suddenly changed their grooming habits and has marks on their shoulders and necks you might need to talk. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’ve 2 things to say.
", I can only assume his partner sleeps in another bed or they have sex with the lights out. "
1: he can’t be that ugly as you’re letting him dip you
2: you sound jealous and it’s not a good look chum. If you’re telling us that you haven’t met guys previously knowing they are married/ cheating then you’re telling some big fat hoatchin porkies
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"I’ve 2 things to say.
, I can only assume his partner sleeps in another bed or they have sex with the lights out.
1: he can’t be that ugly as you’re letting him dip you
2: you sound jealous and it’s not a good look chum. If you’re telling us that you haven’t met guys previously knowing they are married/ cheating then you’re telling some big fat hoatchin porkies
"
Lol
1) I never said he was ugly. Quite the contrary. But if his partner hasn't seen marks and asked questions it's a little strange.
2) I'm not jealous , I'm a bit pissed off that he lied about it. And I can also tell you I've never knowingly met any guy who I knew was cheating. I have met several who are/were in relationships though . There is a difference.
Being a fellow fetlifer you should know "consent " includes everyone involved and that includes their partners.
But not everyone has my standards I guess |
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"I've met a guy off here 5 times in the last 3 weeks who initially told me he was single but I discovered on our last meet that in fact he's actually married and they also have a couples profile on here. "
How do you know its cheating? If they have a couples profile set up as well then that might suggest that the wife is also in the lifestyle, no? Since you seem to be doing the snooping, does she have a singles profile, I've seen plenty of 'single' women on here who are also part of couples profiles as well.
I kind of agree with the other reply, there does seem to be a hint of jealousy or 'woe is me' running through the post. |
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"I've met a guy off here 5 times in the last 3 weeks who initially told me he was single but I discovered on our last meet that in fact he's actually married and they also have a couples profile on here.
How do you know its cheating? If they have a couples profile set up as well then that might suggest that the wife is also in the lifestyle, no? Since you seem to be doing the snooping, does she have a singles profile, I've seen plenty of 'single' women on here who are also part of couples profiles as well.
I kind of agree with the other reply, there does seem to be a hint of jealousy or 'woe is me' running through the post. "
Did you read the original post?
Its weird that men always get defensive about other men cheating and somehow turn it around to the other person.
So for clarity when asked several times he stated he was single and " more in to guys" on the last meet he tripped himself up while just chatting and said something that gave himself away. Then in further discussion he admitted he was married and that he and his wife had a profile on here. I've not snooped as I'm not interested, I'm also not jealous but again that seems to be a male response which is kind of telling.
I'm honest with any partner I have I simply ask the same. I'm certain I'm not the first guy he's been meeting off here and I genuinely feel for his partner who is probably blissfully unaware.
But as he tried 3 times for me to fuck him bareback which I refused I suspect that's his normal preference so he's likely putting his partner at risk too.
He was fairly hairy when I first spoke to him and rejected him on that point. He then took it upon himself to shave himself completely which only helped me believe he was single .
He told me his partner doesn't know and in meets they've done together he's always proclaimed he's not in to guys and has done nothing with them in front of her.
Don't confuse being pissed off at another liar and another contributer to bi invisibility with jealousy.
Especially as in my opinion guys who defend him quite possibly would do the same thing.
There's a reason I asked what the women thought
As a pansexual male I can tell you I trust about 5% of men as most would do and say anything to get laid. |
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"I've met a guy off here 5 times in the last 3 weeks who initially told me he was single but I discovered on our last meet that in fact he's actually married and they also have a couples profile on here.
How do you know its cheating? If they have a couples profile set up as well then that might suggest that the wife is also in the lifestyle, no? Since you seem to be doing the snooping, does she have a singles profile, I've seen plenty of 'single' women on here who are also part of couples profiles as well.
I kind of agree with the other reply, there does seem to be a hint of jealousy or 'woe is me' running through the post.
Did you read the original post?
Its weird that men always get defensive about other men cheating and somehow turn it around to the other person.
So for clarity when asked several times he stated he was single and " more in to guys" on the last meet he tripped himself up while just chatting and said something that gave himself away. Then in further discussion he admitted he was married and that he and his wife had a profile on here. I've not snooped as I'm not interested, I'm also not jealous but again that seems to be a male response which is kind of telling.
I'm honest with any partner I have I simply ask the same. I'm certain I'm not the first guy he's been meeting off here and I genuinely feel for his partner who is probably blissfully unaware.
But as he tried 3 times for me to fuck him bareback which I refused I suspect that's his normal preference so he's likely putting his partner at risk too.
He was fairly hairy when I first spoke to him and rejected him on that point. He then took it upon himself to shave himself completely which only helped me believe he was single .
He told me his partner doesn't know and in meets they've done together he's always proclaimed he's not in to guys and has done nothing with them in front of her.
Don't confuse being pissed off at another liar and another contributer to bi invisibility with jealousy.
Especially as in my opinion guys who defend him quite possibly would do the same thing.
There's a reason I asked what the women thought
As a pansexual male I can tell you I trust about 5% of men as most would do and say anything to get laid. "
You're spot on here to be fair. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"l
Being a fellow fetlifer you should know "consent " includes everyone involved and that includes their partners.
But not everyone has my standards I guess "
Sorry but but making this thread you have aired dirty laundry so your standards are low. I really want to make that clear, you can sit on a high horse and be all righteous, but your standards are shit low.
You are correct with consent, but how is his wife involved in him pumping you? By forcing the high morale stance, you’re crossing wires that do not align. If a human decides to cheat on their partner, that’s their business and their decision. We are all adults here with the right to a private personal life. If it is something that you really don’t like, then you don’t meet attached people. It’s that simple.
Now, if you have been lied to then yep I get the frustration, it’s a feeling shared with many on here. However, that being said, you’re direct link to my fet and the fact you know he is part of a couple here suggests that you must be some Jessica Fletcher level adult site investigator so I very much doubt you went into the situation blind.
Ultimately I think you’re just being a bitch and I won’t mumble with you on it further. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Oh and I’m not defending his actions at all, I note your comments towards another person. Never at any point have I defended the action. We can’t control how others behave, only ourselves.
Think on that  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Once again the op is jumped upon .. he's only asking what others would think /do given the situation like many folk have done before in whatever the situation maybe .. the Scotland form is toxic as hell for this .. he's been respectful no names have been mentioned nor any hints have been given to allude to who it is .. but here comes the forum oracle's the fonts of all knowledge , he has every right to ask advice on a situation as well everyone has but instead of having a discussion he's persecuted instead .. such a difference if ur no part of the in crowd !! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You have every right to feel angry and frustrated you've been lied to in order to sleep with someone not once but 5 times that's t times he could've told you the truth . If it was me I'd thank my lucky stars I found out now and stay out the drama of it all .. if he's been so prolific in having affairs with men chances are he'll be caught out for it on his own accord x |
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By *xybumWoman
over a year ago
East Kilbride |
"I'm just curious what the women think of this and if your partner was seeing guys behind your back through fear of telling you how you would react? And Would you want to know?
I've met a guy off here 5 times in the last 3 weeks who initially told me he was single but I discovered on our last meet that in fact he's actually married and they also have a couples profile on here.
I have things in place that normally these guys out as while I'm OK with ethical non monogamy I'm not keen on cheats, I also get a bit pissed off at guys claiming they're straight to not scare off the ladies but chasing guys regardless.
somehow this guy managed it anyway, I can only assume his partner sleeps in another bed or they have sex with the lights out.
I very much doubt I'm the only guy he's been meeting either.
It's not my place to tell the guys wife and I've no interest in meeting him again but if your partner has suddenly changed their grooming habits and has marks on their shoulders and necks you might need to talk. "
If I was this guys wife I would absolutely want to know, suddenly shaving everywhere is a major red flag. She surely must be in denial? Who knows what is going on in their relationship though! Did he definitely say that she had no idea what he was up to? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Once again the op is jumped upon .. he's only asking what others would think /do given the situation like many folk have done before in whatever the situation maybe .. the Scotland form is toxic as hell for this .. he's been respectful no names have been mentioned nor any hints have been given to allude to who it is .. but here comes the forum oracle's the fonts of all knowledge , he has every right to ask advice on a situation as well everyone has but instead of having a discussion he's persecuted instead .. such a difference if ur no part of the in crowd !! "
I’m not part of a crowd at all, dunno what you’re on about there but if you feel left out of any supposed group, crying over it won’t change anything.
Also if you ask for peoples opinions on an open forum when judging others, not everyone will agree. It’s really as simple as that.
I don’t disagree with his reasons for being irritated at all but I do disagree with the manner in which it’s been conveyed.
I will remember this post when you disagree with someone and will refer back to it to make the point that it’s ok to disagree regardless of some invisible crowd participation.
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Once again the op is jumped upon .. he's only asking what others would think /do given the situation like many folk have done before in whatever the situation maybe .. the Scotland form is toxic as hell for this .. he's been respectful no names have been mentioned nor any hints have been given to allude to who it is .. but here comes the forum oracle's the fonts of all knowledge , he has every right to ask advice on a situation as well everyone has but instead of having a discussion he's persecuted instead .. such a difference if ur no part of the in crowd !!
I’m not part of a crowd at all, dunno what you’re on about there but if you feel left out of any supposed group, crying over it won’t change anything.
Also if you ask for peoples opinions on an open forum when judging others, not everyone will agree. It’s really as simple as that.
I don’t disagree with his reasons for being irritated at all but I do disagree with the manner in which it’s been conveyed.
I will remember this post when you disagree with someone and will refer back to it to make the point that it’s ok to disagree regardless of some invisible crowd participation.
"
I genuinely don't care if I'm part of the in crowd , I'm hardly crying about it but it's a common theme folk being picked on and slated .. u jumped to conclusions on this post called him jealous , bitter etc .. the guy was only asking women what they thought and he gets that.. what's jealous about it he found out he was lied to .. and just for the record ur more than welcome to refer me back to this .. I'm not a judgey person unlike the way you've been to the op on this post . But aye it is a running theme it's toxic in this forum far too many folk ready to jump on others for the slightest thing ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ve 2 things to say.
, I can only assume his partner sleeps in another bed or they have sex with the lights out.
1: he can’t be that ugly as you’re letting him dip you
2: you sound jealous and it’s not a good look chum. If you’re telling us that you haven’t met guys previously knowing they are married/ cheating then you’re telling some big fat hoatchin porkies
"
This post in particular .. he's been called jealous and a liar |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"l
Sorry but but making this thread you have aired dirty laundry so your standards are low. I really want to make that clear, you can sit on a high horse and be all righteous, but your standards are shit low.
You are correct with consent, but how is his wife involved in him pumping you? By forcing the high morale stance, you’re crossing wires that do not align. If a human decides to cheat on their partner, that’s their business and their decision. We are all adults here with the right to a private personal life. If it is something that you really don’t like, then you don’t meet attached people. It’s that simple.
Now, if you have been lied to then yep I get the frustration, it’s a feeling shared with many on here. However, that being said, you’re direct link to my fet and the fact you know he is part of a couple here suggests that you must be some Jessica Fletcher level adult site investigator so I very much doubt you went into the situation blind.
"
And then there's this one .. surely everyone who posts on here in some way or another airs their dirty laundry .. |
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"l
Being a fellow fetlifer you should know "consent " includes everyone involved and that includes their partners.
But not everyone has my standards I guess
Sorry but but making this thread you have aired dirty laundry so your standards are low. I really want to make that clear, you can sit on a high horse and be all righteous, but your standards are shit low.
You are correct with consent, but how is his wife involved in him pumping you? By forcing the high morale stance, you’re crossing wires that do not align. If a human decides to cheat on their partner, that’s their business and their decision. We are all adults here with the right to a private personal life. If it is something that you really don’t like, then you don’t meet attached people. It’s that simple.
Now, if you have been lied to then yep I get the frustration, it’s a feeling shared with many on here. However, that being said, you’re direct link to my fet and the fact you know he is part of a couple here suggests that you must be some Jessica Fletcher level adult site investigator so I very much doubt you went into the situation blind.
Ultimately I think you’re just being a bitch and I won’t mumble with you on it further. "
That's twice now you've proved you cannot read . It's apparent why you don't fair well on the kink scene  .
Which part of I'm a top do you not get ?
He wasn't dipping me?
He wasn't bumming me.
He was however lying and cheating despite it being discussed several times before the time he slipped up.
If anything you're outing yourself as being untrustworthy.
Very transparent |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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That’s 3 posts in a row by a female having a pop at me. I didn’t say he was jealous, I said he sounded jealous, which is funny as he accuses me of not being able to read yet here you are..
Now the op asking me about his role as a top and trying to somehow say I don’t do well on the scene…which is rather inaccurate considering he doesn’t know me much like I to him. That’s actually quite an amusing thing to say, I mean ultimately I’m not the one crying online about people I’ve had sex with telling fibs. Also, genuine question here, what constitutes success on the scene? Private meets with like minded people socially and sexually or meets with untrustworthy folk that then are plastered on public forums for all to read. I shall leave that with you pal.
Also, just to add, there was no mention of your role or any bb accusations in your original post..which I replied to.
So considering all of the above, now who is a crowd jumping to conclusions and speaking utter rubbish….or does it only work one way when it doesn’t fit your nonsensical narrative?
I’m out, goodnight, love you x
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Saying someone sounds jealous implies he jealous , plus he was called a liar and someone who has shit low standards .. u are right it is a forum and difference of opinion is expected or should be .. there was no need for to imply he's jealous or sounds jealous if we're splitting hairs .. the guy was deceived and was just trying to gauge what a female would think from their perspective.. instead he got this . |
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"Saying someone sounds jealous implies he jealous , plus he was called a liar and someone who has shit low standards .. u are right it is a forum and difference of opinion is expected or should be .. there was no need for to imply he's jealous or sounds jealous if we're splitting hairs .. the guy was deceived and was just trying to gauge what a female would think from their perspective.. instead he got this ."
To be honest it's why I asked what the women of the site thought as I actually expected men to defend him ... not surprised
I may be one but men fecking annoy me with their shitty morals at times.
I do my dammdest to avoid people who are attached as I prefer regular fwb arrangements rather than random hookups , the things I like are better with connection.
I have a few things in place with any new playmate that usually flushes out cheaters. But in this case he called my bluff and completely shaved from the eyebrows down ... everywhere.
So I obviously thought any partner would notice this and ask questions. I guess he was a good enough liar to talk himself out of that although the bite marks I'd left on his neck and shoulders on visit 3 and 4 I'd doubt very much if they weren't seen.
It does make me even more wary now though. So doesn't just affect his wife and myself but potential partners I meet in the immediate future as they will take longer to earn my trust.
Can't stand liars |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Saying someone sounds jealous implies he jealous , plus he was called a liar and someone who has shit low standards .. u are right it is a forum and difference of opinion is expected or should be .. there was no need for to imply he's jealous or sounds jealous if we're splitting hairs .. the guy was deceived and was just trying to gauge what a female would think from their perspective.. instead he got this .
To be honest it's why I asked what the women of the site thought as I actually expected men to defend him ... not surprised
I may be one but men fecking annoy me with their shitty morals at times.
I do my dammdest to avoid people who are attached as I prefer regular fwb arrangements rather than random hookups , the things I like are better with connection.
I have a few things in place with any new playmate that usually flushes out cheaters. But in this case he called my bluff and completely shaved from the eyebrows down ... everywhere.
So I obviously thought any partner would notice this and ask questions. I guess he was a good enough liar to talk himself out of that although the bite marks I'd left on his neck and shoulders on visit 3 and 4 I'd doubt very much if they weren't seen.
It does make me even more wary now though. So doesn't just affect his wife and myself but potential partners I meet in the immediate future as they will take longer to earn my trust.
Can't stand liars "
likewise liars always get found out ! |
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"Saying someone sounds jealous implies he jealous , plus he was called a liar and someone who has shit low standards .. u are right it is a forum and difference of opinion is expected or should be .. there was no need for to imply he's jealous or sounds jealous if we're splitting hairs .. the guy was deceived and was just trying to gauge what a female would think from their perspective.. instead he got this .
To be honest it's why I asked what the women of the site thought as I actually expected men to defend him ... not surprised
I may be one but men fecking annoy me with their shitty morals at times.
I do my dammdest to avoid people who are attached as I prefer regular fwb arrangements rather than random hookups , the things I like are better with connection.
I have a few things in place with any new playmate that usually flushes out cheaters. But in this case he called my bluff and completely shaved from the eyebrows down ... everywhere.
So I obviously thought any partner would notice this and ask questions. I guess he was a good enough liar to talk himself out of that although the bite marks I'd left on his neck and shoulders on visit 3 and 4 I'd doubt very much if they weren't seen.
It does make me even more wary now though. So doesn't just affect his wife and myself but potential partners I meet in the immediate future as they will take longer to earn my trust.
Can't stand liars "
Next time demand that they shave their eyebrows too.
"Try explaining that one to Sadie, mate!"  |
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"If someone had made a quick check on the OP's profile he would have seen that the OP identified/played as a Dom/Top. "
I had figured that , but at least one commenter thinks looking at someone's profile makes them a stalker.
Probably explains a lot of the dodgy messages that get sent
Most of the men and probably some of the women don't seem to read them.
I quite enjoy reading folks profiles. |
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"Saying someone sounds jealous implies he jealous , plus he was called a liar and someone who has shit low standards .. u are right it is a forum and difference of opinion is expected or should be .. there was no need for to imply he's jealous or sounds jealous if we're splitting hairs .. the guy was deceived and was just trying to gauge what a female would think from their perspective.. instead he got this .
To be honest it's why I asked what the women of the site thought as I actually expected men to defend him ... not surprised
I may be one but men fecking annoy me with their shitty morals at times.
I do my dammdest to avoid people who are attached as I prefer regular fwb arrangements rather than random hookups , the things I like are better with connection.
I have a few things in place with any new playmate that usually flushes out cheaters. But in this case he called my bluff and completely shaved from the eyebrows down ... everywhere.
So I obviously thought any partner would notice this and ask questions. I guess he was a good enough liar to talk himself out of that although the bite marks I'd left on his neck and shoulders on visit 3 and 4 I'd doubt very much if they weren't seen.
It does make me even more wary now though. So doesn't just affect his wife and myself but potential partners I meet in the immediate future as they will take longer to earn my trust.
Can't stand liars
Next time demand that they shave their eyebrows too.
"Try explaining that one to Sadie, mate!" "
Aye but I wouldn't be able to fuck them fir laughing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd be livid, I agree with you 100% OP. He's a very selfish man, he obviously doesn't think he will get caught out but liars always do. As for no protection that's just a disaster waiting to happen. I feel for his wife |
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