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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hey there, what is peoples ideas on what being a dom is! Because to many people think having rough sex slapping someone about and being in control is being A Dom, but this isn't what being a Dom is and feel people(mostly guys) need to be educated. Being a Dom is about being an emotionally stable person that supports there sub, through new experiences, who knows how to reward and care for them and know how to correctly punish them, its about being dominant enough to fully understand emotional needs and wellbeing of your sub also. Not beating folk up, or slapping people or even verbally abusing them, yeah the 2 later might be aspects of it but very very very minimal aspects of it.  |
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By *imbobaMan
over a year ago
Glasgow |
"Hey there, what is peoples ideas on what being a dom is! Because to many people think having rough sex slapping someone about and being in control is being A Dom, but this isn't what being a Dom is and feel people(mostly guys) need to be educated. Being a Dom is about being an emotionally stable person that supports there sub, through new experiences, who knows how to reward and care for them and know how to correctly punish them, its about being dominant enough to fully understand emotional needs and wellbeing of your sub also. Not beating folk up, or slapping people or even verbally abusing them, yeah the 2 later might be aspects of it but very very very minimal aspects of it. "
Thanks for the unsolicited education. |
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There are lots of different flavours and approaches to D/s. Some will revolve around support and / or punishment, others won't and each will ultimately be unique to the people involved and what works from them. Positing any one definition as "twue dominance" isn't really any more helpful than sensationalised media portrayals of what's probably more accurately SM (or outright abuse) as representing actual power exchange dynamics. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Thanks for the unsolicited education. "
I agree, the ‘what is a dom’ explanation is about as vague as a shadow.
Hope it gets you the meets you hope for chum |
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"Hey there, what is peoples ideas on what being a dom is! Because to many people think having rough sex slapping someone about and being in control is being A Dom, but this isn't what being a Dom is and feel people(mostly guys) need to be educated. Being a Dom is about being an emotionally stable person that supports there sub, through new experiences, who knows how to reward and care for them and know how to correctly punish them, its about being dominant enough to fully understand emotional needs and wellbeing of your sub also. Not beating folk up, or slapping people or even verbally abusing them, yeah the 2 later might be aspects of it but very very very minimal aspects of it. "
I think most guys forget to be a Dom you first have to gain that permission from the sub !
Once that is given a Dom/Sub relationship can grow into whatever the couple wish it to be ! |
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"Hey there, what is peoples ideas on what being a dom is! Because to many people think having rough sex slapping someone about and being in control is being A Dom, but this isn't what being a Dom is and feel people(mostly guys) need to be educated. Being a Dom is about being an emotionally stable person that supports there sub, through new experiences, who knows how to reward and care for them and know how to correctly punish them, its about being dominant enough to fully understand emotional needs and wellbeing of your sub also. Not beating folk up, or slapping people or even verbally abusing them, yeah the 2 later might be aspects of it but very very very minimal aspects of it.
Thanks for the unsolicited education. "
Au contraire - I love a bit of spontaneous schooling.
OP - If you do it wrong, does that mean you're actually just a dick who thinks he's a dom? So such guys could cum over ladies pictures and make a few bob as a Dick and Dom tribute act?
Ps. *you're welcome. |
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"Hey there, what is peoples ideas on what being a dom is! Because to many people think having rough sex slapping someone about and being in control is being A Dom, but this isn't what being a Dom is and feel people(mostly guys) need to be educated. Being a Dom is about being an emotionally stable person that supports there sub, through new experiences, who knows how to reward and care for them and know how to correctly punish them, its about being dominant enough to fully understand emotional needs and wellbeing of your sub also. Not beating folk up, or slapping people or even verbally abusing them, yeah the 2 later might be aspects of it but very very very minimal aspects of it.
Thanks for the unsolicited education.
Au contraire - I love a bit of spontaneous schooling.
OP - If you do it wrong, does that mean you're actually just a dick who thinks he's a dom? So such guys could cum over ladies pictures and make a few bob as a Dick and Dom tribute act?
Ps. *you're welcome. "
That made me laugh far too much 
Mr |
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"Hey there, what is peoples ideas on what being a dom is! Because to many people think having rough sex slapping someone about and being in control is being A Dom, but this isn't what being a Dom is and feel people(mostly guys) need to be educated. Being a Dom is about being an emotionally stable person that supports there sub, through new experiences, who knows how to reward and care for them and know how to correctly punish them, its about being dominant enough to fully understand emotional needs and wellbeing of your sub also. Not beating folk up, or slapping people or even verbally abusing them, yeah the 2 later might be aspects of it but very very very minimal aspects of it. I think most guys forget to be a Dom you first have to gain that permission from the sub !
Once that is given a Dom/Sub relationship can grow into whatever the couple wish it to be ! "
Exactly this !! Guys that go on and on about being Dom are ten a penny on here.
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"Hey there, what is peoples ideas on what being a dom is! Because to many people think having rough sex slapping someone about and being in control is being A Dom, but this isn't what being a Dom is and feel people(mostly guys) need to be educated. Being a Dom is about being an emotionally stable person that supports there sub, through new experiences, who knows how to reward and care for them and know how to correctly punish them, its about being dominant enough to fully understand emotional needs and wellbeing of your sub also. Not beating folk up, or slapping people or even verbally abusing them, yeah the 2 later might be aspects of it but very very very minimal aspects of it. I think most guys forget to be a Dom you first have to gain that permission from the sub !
Once that is given a Dom/Sub relationship can grow into whatever the couple wish it to be !
Exactly this !! Guys that go on and on about being Dom are ten a penny on here.
"
I find the same with people who claim to be a sub ...yet have no idea what one is or what it takes to be truly submissive ...often its all me me me and what they want. That isn't being a sub in my book. |
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"But also a d/s relationship can be f/m rather than m/f ... any guys care to say I'm wrong.. or switch relationship"
It can also be m/m f/f or any other number of dynamics that's the beauty of individuals
It's not a one size fits all |
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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago
Paisley |
There’s no mention of actually asking the sub what it is they are looking for in a Dom/Domme.
Many guys on here do think that restraints and inflicting pain is being ‘dominant’. Very few actually read profiles and ask questions. Even after a couple of social meets discussing what I wanted with a guy he then reverted back to the ‘get on your knees …’ message and tried to rearrange our scheduled meet. Needless to say it didn’t happen.
Subs need to know they have the control to say what they want and don’t want. There has to be some discussion on what both are looking for from the session. Dom/dommes need to listen and not overstep the boundaries. |
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"There’s no mention of actually asking the sub what it is they are looking for in a Dom/Domme.
Many guys on here do think that restraints and inflicting pain is being ‘dominant’. Very few actually read profiles and ask questions. Even after a couple of social meets discussing what I wanted with a guy he then reverted back to the ‘get on your knees …’ message and tried to rearrange our scheduled meet. Needless to say it didn’t happen.
Subs need to know they have the control to say what they want and don’t want. There has to be some discussion on what both are looking for from the session. Dom/dommes need to listen and not overstep the boundaries. "
Any good Dom knows the sub is actually the one in control , interests, limits , boundaries etc are discussed and set , a dom plays within those limits and boundaries.
I get plagued with alleged subs, no face pics, the standard " no limits " answer when asked what they're In to and the old " you're the dom you decide "
No thanks get in the bin. |
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Absolutely spot on , Dynomite...and that's my experience too, as a respectful, caring Dom who has gained permission from Sub-inclined ladies on several occasions.
And , as you say, each Dom/ Sub dynamic is unique, just like any normal relationship in life is unique. |
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The missing word in all the comments is trust. There has to be trust in a D/s dynamic. Trust that the Dom will always have the well-being of the sub as a priority and trust that the sub will say when a limit has been reached.
Personally I would not be comfortable in a D/s relationship without trust |
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