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Dealing with trauma and mental health
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So I’ve had a particularly shit week and I’m one of these people finds it really hard to deal
With a lot of things happening at once and tend to bury myself in other things to cope, my coping mechanisms are often to try and shut out the shitshow and put a brave face on. To say I’ve been stressed to the max this last week has been an understatement, it’s taken a week to finally get to a point where I feel like I can actually let myself cry !!
I spend so much of my life trying to be as open and honest as I can but yet when I’m really hurting I’ve got this deep sense of withholding my emotions and not letting folk see this side of me and I know I’m not alone !
I’m super aware of this and know when to be around people and when to withdraw but the last week and the reasons why it’s been so hard on me still takes me by surprise at times.
We’re a society that’s always hearing folk say it’s good to talk but so many don’t !
This week alone I’ve lost 3 people to suicide, 3 people who no one knew were struggling, a parent who’s children aren’t even out of school yet, a parent who should be welcoming their first grandchild into the world this week, and a child who hasn’t yet lived a life as an adult who leaves behind distraught siblings and parents who never thought they would outlive their child ! Why are so many people still struggling ? Does society try and suppress your emotions without realising it? do we not talk about mental health enough ? why is this still continually happening and blindsiding is without warning without signs ?
I’m always someone who gives emotional
Support to people all the time, only in recent years have I reigned it in because sometimes it’s too much, but yet tonight as I’ve finally let myself cry I’m sitting here thinking why is it I find it so hard to talk about it until after the fact when I’ve done so much of my stressing and worrying and overthinking alone ?!
Sending out big hugs tonight xx sorry for the rant/over share but I’m sure I’m
Not the only one feeling shitty this week xx |
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"So I’ve had a particularly shit week and I’m one of these people finds it really hard to deal
With a lot of things happening at once and tend to bury myself in other things to cope, my coping mechanisms are often to try and shut out the shitshow and put a brave face on. To say I’ve been stressed to the max this last week has been an understatement, it’s taken a week to finally get to a point where I feel like I can actually let myself cry !!
I spend so much of my life trying to be as open and honest as I can but yet when I’m really hurting I’ve got this deep sense of withholding my emotions and not letting folk see this side of me and I know I’m not alone !
I’m super aware of this and know when to be around people and when to withdraw but the last week and the reasons why it’s been so hard on me still takes me by surprise at times.
We’re a society that’s always hearing folk say it’s good to talk but so many don’t !
This week alone I’ve lost 3 people to suicide, 3 people who no one knew were struggling, a parent who’s children aren’t even out of school yet, a parent who should be welcoming their first grandchild into the world this week, and a child who hasn’t yet lived a life as an adult who leaves behind distraught siblings and parents who never thought they would outlive their child ! Why are so many people still struggling ? Does society try and suppress your emotions without realising it? do we not talk about mental health enough ? why is this still continually happening and blindsiding is without warning without signs ?
I’m always someone who gives emotional
Support to people all the time, only in recent years have I reigned it in because sometimes it’s too much, but yet tonight as I’ve finally let myself cry I’m sitting here thinking why is it I find it so hard to talk about it until after the fact when I’ve done so much of my stressing and worrying and overthinking alone ?!
Sending out big hugs tonight xx sorry for the rant/over share but I’m sure I’m
Not the only one feeling shitty this week xx "
First of all HUGE hugs back
life really does hit us hard at times .
Please don't apologise for sharing , we all need to vent and sometimes writing r down helps us make some sort sense ...
People STILL don't talk enough
& often (& sadly )most folks life's are too busy to not notice , or maybe they just don't care .
It's really hard being the one that's always there for others , i to used to immerse myself in others pain as it would often blank out my own - I now notice this and I now know when to take a step back .
I've ( luckily ) found friends just in time but I carry that with me everyday .
It haunts me at times .
Like you people whom have children , are someone's sibling/ child , it's heartbreaking.
It's also maddening there's not enough help out there professionally.
So I'm glad you're now crying , let it all out , let those emotions flood and remember we can't be everyone's rock - need look after you to , be kind to yourself,because you matter to .
Sending love & strength
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Well done courageous NSV  . It's vital to talk and let out your emotions ...but not necessarily to everyone, especially if you've been hurt in the past.. but to your dearest true friends that you can trust are really there for you to share..
How does the famous saying go?
" A problem shared is a problem halved".
Q:. What is the biggest cause of death in men under 50?
A:. Suicide. Why? Because they don't talk about nor share the feelings of the 'demons' that are eating away at them inside.
I'm a lifelong Mental Health Wellbeing Crusader. I have lived-in experience of dealing and caring for family with severe mental health issues, including both my Mum and Dad, from the age of 12.
Let's all keep campaigning and challenging Society's Status Quo..
It is a STRENGTH, not a weakness, to talk about and share our feelings and express our emotions by crying etc. Yes, and it is just as important for males to do that as it is for females.
Let's kick this " Male Macho" dangerous nonsense right into touch !
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Beautifully and so truthfully written Ms. Roxy Ryder.. 
It is vital to let out and express our emotions, regardless of age, gender, sexuality, ethnicity, etc.
And to take care of ourselves FIRST. ... that's not a selfish act.
Q:. On an aeroplane safety demonstration, why do they say " put your own Oxygen Mask on first before helping others" ?
A:. Yes, that's right. Because if you can't 'breathe ' yourself, you can't possibly help anyone else!
An analogy for life for all of us? " Put our own 'Oxygen Mask' on FIRST before helping others " ...
Hugs and caring love to all. Let's be stronger together. |
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I'd give you a big comforting hug, if I could NSV.
People who know me, know what I'm dealing with, and I've been having a fairly hard few months.
I think the biggest issue we have is that the NHS can't cope with the demands they have for help with mental wellbeing issues, and not all workplace assistance places are any good.
In my case, when you're being told to change your diet or go for walks by receptionists, because you can't even speak to a GP, it just doesn't help.
I've always believed that mental and physical wellbeing are connected and when one starts to suffer the other eventually does too, but it's not always easy to take care of them yourself.
I'll stop now, cause I'm just rambling a bit.
Mandy |
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By *lbie6Man
over a year ago
glasgow |
You are not alone but good to open up I struggle feel lonely can't get meets here either there is support but to get the right support is a nightmare especially under the NHS everything has changed since covid I'm always looking for friends to chat too so feel free if you need too as I said you are not alone in this |
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By *ane DTV/TS
over a year ago
London - till 25th |
Hugs, hugs and more hugs from me.
You've helped me through a few issues in the past, and you know I am always happy to listen and try to help or even just for you to vent to/at.
More hugs - and you know how to contact me if you need to...
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"You are not alone but good to open up I struggle feel lonely can't get meets here either there is support but to get the right support is a nightmare especially under the NHS everything has changed since covid I'm always looking for friends to chat too so feel free if you need too as I said you are not alone in this"
Albie.. best way to meet is to go to Social Meets.
How about contacting Falcon43 and going along to the Pub Quiz in Paisley that's on Tuesday evening every week? |
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You have no need to apologise.
I know from experience asking for help is hard at the time you feel that it's wrong and your letting everyone else down.
You feel that you need to just stand up and push forward.
You are brave to share and you will hear it all the time but if you ever need a chat or vent I'm always happy to be an ear.
Reaching out is the first step.
Things will get brighter but you need to look after yourself first.
I done it by going out with my dog and spending time with other dog walkers for company.
My best advice sind something that you will enjoy completely separate from everything and embrace it. |
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It is good to talk, sometimes I feel I’ve no one to talk too, if I feel really down I often get comments like
Acht! Pull yourself together or what have you got to be down about.
Not helping!
Being a crossdresser can be a very lonely existence as nobody in my world knows that I dress
The fab community is where I can be myself and I appreciate everyone who gets in touch with lovely comments and encouragement
Life is tough and challenging so let’s look after one another
XX
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By *ikerBloke...Man
over a year ago
western hemisphere , planet earth |
I can feel for you . It’s hard having to try and find strength to face the day when all you see are storm clouds and hear thunder in your head , the last 18 months have been the hardest of my life after watching my father be taken away from cancer and failed operations leading to his passing and now being practically my mothers carer and beating some kind of rock to my family , was slowly improving till we lost another family member a few weeks ago and once more the family seem to think I have some marvel superhero level of strength to help them all though . It’s hard , bloody hard . Having to hide the pain tears and anxiety behind an almost fake persona to carry on . Life was so much easier when we were younger and didn’t have worries ! |
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The sad fact is that it's too easy for an overstretched NHS to just prescribe tablets when it needs to do so much more.
I've (male) suffered with mental health for over 30 years. Been to numerous docs all over the country (I've moved about a bit) and was always prescribed pills, sometimes a week or 2 off work.
It took me having a major breakdown a few years ago and finding myself waist deep in the sea to get anything even close to the help that I really needed.
Until successive governments invest more in mental health resources, then it is always going to be a case of too many taken too soon, which then goes on to create more mental health problems in those left behind and the cycle continues. |
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Wow these are all very strong words that stamped in stone .
Myself the male half have suffered from mental health problems since I was 16 .now 47 I still suffer from an abusive child hood and past relationship.
Then from loved ones I have lost . that's when I found alcohol to hide the pain and emotional depression.to one day nearly took my own life thinking no one would miss me .
Yes it's hard chatting to folk or let your emotions go ,but needs must ,that's when you do find your true friends who have the patience to chat or spend time with you.
We all should take time out to think of others |
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By *d68Man
over a year ago
Airdrie |
"So I’ve had a particularly shit week and I’m one of these people finds it really hard to deal
With a lot of things happening at once and tend to bury myself in other things to cope, my coping mechanisms are often to try and shut out the shitshow and put a brave face on. To say I’ve been stressed to the max this last week has been an understatement, it’s taken a week to finally get to a point where I feel like I can actually let myself cry !!
I spend so much of my life trying to be as open and honest as I can but yet when I’m really hurting I’ve got this deep sense of withholding my emotions and not letting folk see this side of me and I know I’m not alone !
I’m super aware of this and know when to be around people and when to withdraw but the last week and the reasons why it’s been so hard on me still takes me by surprise at times.
We’re a society that’s always hearing folk say it’s good to talk but so many don’t !
This week alone I’ve lost 3 people to suicide, 3 people who no one knew were struggling, a parent who’s children aren’t even out of school yet, a parent who should be welcoming their first grandchild into the world this week, and a child who hasn’t yet lived a life as an adult who leaves behind distraught siblings and parents who never thought they would outlive their child ! Why are so many people still struggling ? Does society try and suppress your emotions without realising it? do we not talk about mental health enough ? why is this still continually happening and blindsiding is without warning without signs ?
I’m always someone who gives emotional
Support to people all the time, only in recent years have I reigned it in because sometimes it’s too much, but yet tonight as I’ve finally let myself cry I’m sitting here thinking why is it I find it so hard to talk about it until after the fact when I’ve done so much of my stressing and worrying and overthinking alone ?!
Sending out big hugs tonight xx sorry for the rant/over share but I’m sure I’m
Not the only one feeling shitty this week xx "
I completely understand what you are going through. As a sufferer of PTSD, anxiety, suicidal ideation, and depression, it is hard to speak about the issues because for me it’s a case of even if I talk about, you could never understand unless you’ve walked along side me, or in my shoes.
The best way I can describe mental health issues is that it’s a vortex that sucks all the good out of not only you, but also everyone around you. I have tried all therapies ie; talking, grounding techniques, CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy), all to no avail. What I do to cope is, I take life like someone with an addiction, I take it day to day.
I try to occupy my mind with work. It doesn’t always work as the stresses of can exacerbate the issues, if that happens I go to the toilet and count to ten, take deep breaths and compose myself. I hope you can find the piece of mind you deserve, because I’ve been rock bottom and wouldn’t wish it in anybody. If you would like to talk drop me a message, I’ll meet you for coffee if you like. Maybe therapeutic for both of us. |
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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago
Paisley |
As someone who has suffered with depression I know only too well how hard it is to talk to people about it. I’ve dropped the kids off at school and nursery and went back to bed and set an alarm to pick up my daughter. You do everything you can to avoid interacting with people, don’t go out, don’t answer the phone or the door and find excuses to not meet up.
People had issues before Covid and lockdown but lockdown and enforced solitude has brought its own issues for many. Health problems, changes in the way we interact, mental health, employment, delays in medical treatment, etc all play a huge part in what affects us now. It’s harder than ever to access GPs, support groups, appointments for hospital, etc.
It’s easy to say to people to talk but opening up about issues that are very personal makes you vulnerable when you’ve spent so much time trying to protect yourself from being hurt emotionally.
It’s hard making that first step to reach out for help and there should be no stigma if it means you need counselling or anti-depressants.
Some use Fab for hook ups but many of us on Fab have formed good friendships too. We can use this to support each other. Feel free to message me if you want a chat or meet for a coffee. Fx |
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Yes it is hard for years with depression and goes in toe to toe with S.A.D .plus some anxiety.
So I have been a loner for years but we all agree I am the worlds worst as I am good at listening and giving advice but fek me I never do take my own
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I’m so sorry you’re going through all that NSV that’s incredibly rough a hell of a lot to deal with.
You know my situation so I understand insofar as I can from my own perspective inc having lost people to suicide. While I understand not wanting to talk right now, sometimes we need to withdraw and reset, it’s hard to do so it has to be at the right time for you. But if/when you do then you know where I am. |
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