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Need advice please
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So, got asked if I'd like to go on a coffee date by a girl in my local shop tonight, totally vanilla just someone I have a bit of banter and a laugh with when I go in for a few bits.
She's absolutely lovely but here's the rub, I'm 44, she's 20, obviously I'm flattered and if I was 30 I'd definitely agree but I left it this evening by saying I'd need to see what I was up to and get back to her.
Please just tell me nothing good can come of this and I should just respectfully decline......lolol |
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"So, got asked if I'd like to go on a coffee date by a girl in my local shop tonight, totally vanilla just someone I have a bit of banter and a laugh with when I go in for a few bits.
She's absolutely lovely but here's the rub, I'm 44, she's 20, obviously I'm flattered and if I was 30 I'd definitely agree but I left it this evening by saying I'd need to see what I was up to and get back to her.
Please just tell me nothing good can come of this and I should just respectfully decline......lolol"
Age is but a number, and as long as you have a young outlook on life it shouldn't really matter.
Something of you has grabbed her interest, and you shouldn't let that pass, so meeting for a little bit to have a coffee and a chat shouldn't matter.
If after you reveal your age, she loses interest, then it was just a coffee. After all she approached you.
Mandy |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Go for it, you only live once xx"
Stop it!!! Lol That's exactly where I am now.....!
I'd be a hypocrite, I have a young daughter and when she's 20 I can't imagine saying to her that a date with a 44 Yr old is a good idea....
But that said.....what if this is my Lobster and I miss out to quote a famous Noo Yorker....lol xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"As long as she knows your age and big bro and dad don’t come looking for you…then I’m sure everything will be fine  "
Hahaha.....I'm a wear my heart on my sleeve type of guy, the first words out of my mouth were, 'You do realise I'm 44 years old don't you?'
She smiled and said, 'you don't look it but so what?' |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"So, got asked if I'd like to go on a coffee date by a girl in my local shop tonight, totally vanilla just someone I have a bit of banter and a laugh with when I go in for a few bits.
She's absolutely lovely but here's the rub, I'm 44, she's 20, obviously I'm flattered and if I was 30 I'd definitely agree but I left it this evening by saying I'd need to see what I was up to and get back to her.
Please just tell me nothing good can come of this and I should just respectfully decline......lolol
Age is but a number, and as long as you have a young outlook on life it shouldn't really matter.
Something of you has grabbed her interest, and you shouldn't let that pass, so meeting for a little bit to have a coffee and a chat shouldn't matter.
If after you reveal your age, she loses interest, then it was just a coffee. After all she approached you.
Mandy"
What can a coffee hurt???? What if we fall in love and we're both blissfully happy for the rest of our lives though???
Oh yeah, that's sort of the idea isn't it? Lol
Think I might go for a respectable coffee and see what happens, we probably won't have much in common anyway.....
'But my Darling, what if you fly...?'
Kudos to anyone who gets the reference.....x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You said it yourself.if you said that to your daughter..think of her dad...think of your daughter finding out your going on a date with a 20yr old?.
Obviously just my opinion only you can decide. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"'But my Darling, what if you fly...?'
Kudos to anyone who gets the reference.....x
Have heard it, but not sure where. Can't be bothered using Google "
Erin Hanson, you lazy git! Lolol  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You said it yourself.if you said that to your daughter..think of her dad...think of your daughter finding out your going on a date with a 20yr old?.
Obviously just my opinion only you can decide."
Yep, you're right, think I'll just file it away as a lovely complement from a younger girl....Could have been quite an adventure though!! Lol |
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Go for it why not have the conversation, just be mindful of daddy issues or looking at you as a potential financial aid, unless you’re into that kind of thing. As much as 20 is an adult the life skills of someone that age are never going to be the same as yours |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Erin Hanson, you lazy git! Lolol
Not lazy just drank too much.
Why does it keep coming back with pics of Winnie the Pooh?"
I think it was used in a comic strip one time as the poet was really young..........Drink up!!! Lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Go for it why not have the conversation, just be mindful of daddy issues or looking at you as a potential financial aid, unless you’re into that kind of thing. As much as 20 is an adult the life skills of someone that age are never going to be the same as yours "
I know what you're saying, we've been having banter back and forth for about 18 months and she lights up when I walk in and says how I brighten her shift.
There's no looking for a daddy replacement or a meal ticket vibes at all but even so.....I think I've missed the boat by about 10 years.....Just wouldn't feel right, I agree 20 year olds are older than when I was 20 but she should be having different experiences.
Tell you what though, I'll be gutted if I walk into a Costa at XMAS and see her with her 55 year old boyfriend!! Lolol |
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I meet a woman regularly at gym and e we get on great. Sure airways looks out for me coming in .
She us the type of woman I like but there is about 25 years difference . She is about 45/50 and I am a lot older but don’t look it . Don’t want to ruin our friendship by asking her out !! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There’s 22 years between me and cuck and we been together 20 years nearly so like people say age is but a number "
OP it’s a big gap, but she is 20. Whereas why on earth would a 38 year old be interested in a 16 year old?
A lot of couples have naive female partners on here the longer I’m on Fab the more it creeps me out but only my opinion |
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By *enie90Woman
over a year ago
a bottle |
Why not?  . If there has been continuous banter for months, I’d think it would be silly to say no just because of someone’s age. I’ve had incredible experiences with people in their fifties when I was in my twenties. If a connection is there, it’s there. |
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By *hyme2020Woman
over a year ago
Glasgow Scotland |
I can’t imagine my daughter coming to me and saying she was seeing a man 24 years older. To me it just seems a bit creepy. Also very different outlooks/life experiences etc. I can understand why you would be flattered though. The way I look at it, if they are young enough to be my child, I can’t go there. I had a fling with a guy 19 years younger and it couldn’t have been any more than that. He still wants it and we are a few years down the line from when it happened. Not going back there. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I cannot believe the 50/50 go for it and leave it comments about this!!
The key word for me was 'creepy' as that's how I looked at it in a certain way but most of the girls are just saying 'go for it!'
I know I'm not a creep in any way so maybe just bearing in mind/worrying about strangers perceptions if we were out together as there's no way I could take offence if someone mistaked her for my daughter......
I suppose the real question should be, should we sacrifice a chance at happiness for the sake of strangers opinions and prejudices....?
As easy as it is to say yes or no, this does require a certain type of person to say, f*** everyone, we're happy.
Thanks for all the input guys (although I'm no further forward in a decision lol)
Obviously I want to go for it but still conflicted..... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Your both adults mate, you shouldn't be worrying what others think.
You obviously have a connection.
Go for it.  "
You're the same age as me, would you honestly hand on heart just go for it? |
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"Your both adults mate, you shouldn't be worrying what others think.
You obviously have a connection.
Go for it.
You're the same age as me, would you honestly hand on heart just go for it?"
Yes I would.
But you are not me.
From your OP, it's seems she is the one that invited you.
Nobody can force you into meeting.
If it doesn’t feel right to you, then don't meet.
You will get mixed advice on here,
But only you can make the decision.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Your both adults mate, you shouldn't be worrying what others think.
You obviously have a connection.
Go for it.
You're the same age as me, would you honestly hand on heart just go for it?
Yes I would.
But you are not me.
From your OP, it's seems she is the one that invited you.
Nobody can force you into meeting.
If it doesn’t feel right to you, then don't meet.
You will get mixed advice on here,
But only you can make the decision.
"
Thank you Sensei......lol (No sarcasm intended, just a cheeky joke). What harm can a coffee do ffs? You never know, she might hate me and make the decision for me!! Lol
I'll be sure and report back if I decide to go for it, thanks for the kick in the pants! |
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By *yrdsisWoman
over a year ago
Gleam Street |
She offered the invite.. go.
If you find it's not your cuppa... ypu can always leave.
I have family with huge age gaps that still work today, some that didnt... whats a date? Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
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"Your both adults mate, you shouldn't be worrying what others think.
You obviously have a connection.
Go for it.
You're the same age as me, would you honestly hand on heart just go for it?
Yes I would.
But you are not me.
From your OP, it's seems she is the one that invited you.
Nobody can force you into meeting.
If it doesn’t feel right to you, then don't meet.
You will get mixed advice on here,
But only you can make the decision.
Thank you Sensei......lol (No sarcasm intended, just a cheeky joke). What harm can a coffee do ffs? You never know, she might hate me and make the decision for me!! Lol
I'll be sure and report back if I decide to go for it, thanks for the kick in the pants! "
Don't feel you need report back.
Hope it all goes well, always good to have a positive post every now and again. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Decision made, I'm not going, if I wouldn't be happy if my daughter was going on a date with such an age gap then I shouldn't either, case closed! lol |
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By *un44Man
over a year ago
GLASGOW |
"So, got asked if I'd like to go on a coffee date by a girl in my local shop tonight, totally vanilla just someone I have a bit of banter and a laugh with when I go in for a few bits.
She's absolutely lovely but here's the rub, I'm 44, she's 20, obviously I'm flattered and if I was 30 I'd definitely agree but I left it this evening by saying I'd need to see what I was up to and get back to her.
Please just tell me nothing good can come of this and I should just respectfully decline......lolol"
I'm not sure what your point is with this. Your profile age for women is 18-99 so someone who is 20 is within your range so you had already made up your mind on that. Question is do you see a 20 year old on here in a different light to the 20 year old in your local shop? My opinion is why not, as someone said you only live once and at this moment it's only a coffee. |
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"Decision made, I'm not going, if I wouldn't be happy if my daughter was going on a date with such an age gap then I shouldn't either, case closed! lol "
I think the fact you had to think about it gave you your answer! If it had felt right at the time you would have said yes on the spot |
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"I think the whole 18-99 thing not being changed is just people not changing it and not actually that people would meet an 18 or 99 year old!  "
I think that's to cover all bases, than exclude specific age groups.
From a male perspective anyway.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hahaha, me not changing my age preferences on here was, I HOPE, seen as a genuine oversight......Is there anyone who has commented on this actually wanting to meet a 97 year old????
Goodness me, this started as such a wholesome chat on the discussion of age differences but now I seem to have inadvertently offended some people, apologies, changing my age preferences now so as not to cause anymore upset |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't agree with it being creepy. Think it's the wrong word. I think you should have gone for the coffee and just seen what happened.
I often find myself not really getting along with people who are the same age as me. I often find older and younger people more interesting and connect easier with them. |
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"So, got asked if I'd like to go on a coffee date by a girl in my local shop tonight, totally vanilla just someone I have a bit of banter and a laugh with when I go in for a few bits.
She's absolutely lovely but here's the rub, I'm 44, she's 20, obviously I'm flattered and if I was 30 I'd definitely agree but I left it this evening by saying I'd need to see what I was up to and get back to her.
Please just tell me nothing good can come of this and I should just respectfully decline......lolol"
She’s obviously not on here. Because as far as I read. The majority of females (on here) are only interested in young guys Funny that. So I’d say. Go for it |
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By *4pu55yMan
over a year ago
Falkirk |
"So, got asked if I'd like to go on a coffee date by a girl in my local shop tonight, totally vanilla just someone I have a bit of banter and a laugh with when I go in for a few bits.
She's absolutely lovely but here's the rub, I'm 44, she's 20, obviously I'm flattered and if I was 30 I'd definitely agree but I left it this evening by saying I'd need to see what I was up to and get back to her.
Please just tell me nothing good can come of this and I should just respectfully decline......lolol"
Like the old saying goes mate,
"You're only as old as the woman you feel"
Just make sure if it's going to go further than a coffee date that you make it totally clear about the age thing.
My wife was 15yrs younger than me when she approached me, it does totally boost your ego thinking that a woman much younger than you is interested in you.
But like many others on here have said it works both ways, the majority of the women on here are looking for younger men. |
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"So, got asked if I'd like to go on a coffee date by a girl in my local shop tonight, totally vanilla just someone I have a bit of banter and a laugh with when I go in for a few bits.
She's absolutely lovely but here's the rub, I'm 44, she's 20, obviously I'm flattered and if I was 30 I'd definitely agree but I left it this evening by saying I'd need to see what I was up to and get back to her.
Please just tell me nothing good can come of this and I should just respectfully decline......lolol
Like the old saying goes mate,
"You're only as old as the woman you feel"
Just make sure if it's going to go further than a coffee date that you make it totally clear about the age thing.
My wife was 15yrs younger than me when she approached me, it does totally boost your ego thinking that a woman much younger than you is interested in you.
But like many others on here have said it works both ways, the majority of the women on here are looking for younger men."
The OP Isent even on the site anymore  lol
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By *hyme2020Woman
over a year ago
Glasgow Scotland |
"So, got asked if I'd like to go on a coffee date by a girl in my local shop tonight, totally vanilla just someone I have a bit of banter and a laugh with when I go in for a few bits.
She's absolutely lovely but here's the rub, I'm 44, she's 20, obviously I'm flattered and if I was 30 I'd definitely agree but I left it this evening by saying I'd need to see what I was up to and get back to her.
Please just tell me nothing good can come of this and I should just respectfully decline......lolol
Like the old saying goes mate,
"You're only as old as the woman you feel"
Just make sure if it's going to go further than a coffee date that you make it totally clear about the age thing.
My wife was 15yrs younger than me when she approached me, it does totally boost your ego thinking that a woman much younger than you is interested in you.
But like many others on here have said it works both ways, the majority of the women on here are looking for younger men.
The OP Isent even on the site anymore lol
"
Yeh funny that. Was unverified and just another bullshitting attention seeker. |
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"So, got asked if I'd like to go on a coffee date by a girl in my local shop tonight, totally vanilla just someone I have a bit of banter and a laugh with when I go in for a few bits.
She's absolutely lovely but here's the rub, I'm 44, she's 20, obviously I'm flattered and if I was 30 I'd definitely agree but I left it this evening by saying I'd need to see what I was up to and get back to her.
Please just tell me nothing good can come of this and I should just respectfully decline......lolol
Like the old saying goes mate,
"You're only as old as the woman you feel"
Just make sure if it's going to go further than a coffee date that you make it totally clear about the age thing.
My wife was 15yrs younger than me when she approached me, it does totally boost your ego thinking that a woman much younger than you is interested in you.
But like many others on here have said it works both ways, the majority of the women on here are looking for younger men.
The OP Isent even on the site anymore lol
Yeh funny that. Was unverified and just another bullshitting attention seeker. "
Hes been on before and been verified I'm sure |
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