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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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On an Aussie radio show....
“G’day listeners, for today’s phone-in you have to make up a word that’s not in the dictionary and then give us that word in a sentence. If we like it, you win a $10.000
After the next song.....
“We have a caller on the line, who’s this?”
“G’day Bob. This is Bruce from Brisbane”
“G’day Bruce. What’s your word mate?”
“It’s gahn. G-A-H-N. Gahn.”
“ Ok Bruce, that’s not in the dictionary. Put it in a sentence to win $10.000
“Gahn fuck yourself Bob!”
Silence...
“Well.. er... we’re very sorry about that listeners. Let’s go to a record and we’ll try again.”
After song...
“Right listeners, back to the quiz. We have another caller on the line”
“G’day Bob, it’s Mick from Melbourne here!”
“G’day Mick. What’s your word mate?”
“Smee. S-M-E-E. Smee.”
“Ok mate, let me check. No, it’s not in the dictionary. Give us your sentence to win a whopping $10.000
“Smee again Bob. Gahn fuck yourself!” |
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What is this new 72 position I heard about?
69 with three people watching.
What’s the best part about a blowjob?
10 minutes of peace and quiet
A black man was shot 15 times. Police said it was the worst case of suicide they have ever seen.
(No offence intended.)
Why is the white guy the scariest guy in prison?
Because you know he is actually guilty.
What is the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus?
It only takes one nail to hang the painting.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A man walks into a pub with his dog. The barman says "Sorry, no dogs allowed" and the man answers “But this is no ordinary dog... he can speak.” Barman says “Fuck off!”. The man shouts "It's true! If I get him to speak, can he stay?" The barman laughs and sceptically replies "If he speaks, he can stay and drinks are on the house!".
The man pulls out a bit sandpaper, rubs it on the dogs arse and says “How did that feel?”. The dog answers “Ruff!”
Barman stares silently for a few seconds then says "Get out.”
The man says “I'm telling you, he can talk, give him another chance”
So this time he says to the dog “On a golf course, what's the area around the fairway and the green called?”. The dog answers “Ruff!”
Barman says “I've heard enough! Piss off.”
The man says “I'm telling you, he CAN talk! One more chance please.”
So the man looks the dog square in the eyes and says “Look, stop fucking about - this is our last chance! Who was the Scotland goalie at the Mexico world cup 1986?” The dog says “Ruff!”
The barman has had enough and chucks them out the pub. The man and the dog are sat on the pavement outside and the dog raises his head, turns to his owner and asks “Shit, was it Jim Leighton?” |
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I’ve got something that will give you a good laugh !!
Tonight’s status updates lol seriously is there a full moon ?
Pity party statuses WILL NOT make you any more attractive in fact it’s more likely to put you on more block lists geeezo
Turn that frown upside down peoples laws of attraction and all that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Was in the porn cinema at CJs when my girlfriend says 'The guy sitting next to me is wanking'.
'Just ignore him' I replied.
'I can't ' she said 'He's using my hand'. |
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Steve Arnott walks into the AC12 canteen.
Hastings is angry and cursing the vending machine. He can't get his change out.
Arnott to Hastings: "What's wrong boss?"
Hastings to Arnott: "Son I'm interested in one thing and one thing only. That's bent coppers" |
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