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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I've got piles again and it's sore as fuck.
I think she was finger blasting me in my sleep last night although I have no real proof other than a sore anus.
I know someone on here must have a remedy for sore starfish. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Put a carrot in the freezer for half an hour then insert.
(The carrot....not the freezer....)"
I’ve heard pineapples have a medicinal skin. It’s a bit rough at the start. But will provide a numbing sensation about halfway down |
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"Put a carrot in the freezer for half an hour then insert.
(The carrot....not the freezer....)"
Then, when finished with said carrot.
Dice it up and make her a lovely stew with it.
That'll teach her to finger blast you in your sleep. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Probably better to ask a medical professional rather than strangers on a swingers site..!  "
First of all have you tried to get a doctor's appointment? And secondly I bet there's doctors and nurses on here from the photos I've seen. |
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I would storngly suggest adding more Sweetcorn, Hard-Boiled Eggs, Brazil Nuts and Beer to your diet. Deep Fried Foods such as a Battered Deep Fried Mars Bar should be avoided... though a frozen - or well-chilled - Mars Bar might provide some soothing relief if not taken as a food stuff. Once the chocolate starts melting - just stop using it. Remember to put said confectionary straight in the bin in case someone chances upon it and gets torn intae it as a wee pre-dinner appetiser. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I would storngly suggest adding more Sweetcorn, Hard-Boiled Eggs, Brazil Nuts and Beer to your diet. Deep Fried Foods such as a Battered Deep Fried Mars Bar should be avoided... though a frozen - or well-chilled - Mars Bar might provide some soothing relief if not taken as a food stuff. Once the chocolate starts melting - just stop using it. Remember to put said confectionary straight in the bin in case someone chances upon it and gets torn intae it as a wee pre-dinner appetiser."
Someone recently had a star bar up their arse.  |
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By *ookie69Man
over a year ago
Whistle Dixie |
"I've stuck a frozen hot dog up ma arse and I'm going to leave it in all defrosting.
Hope I don't get frost bite. "
Avoid known dogging locations at lunchtime just in case some dog walkers have their dogs aff the lead.
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So take a sanitary towel cut slit in top where it would meet your hole. Insert ice and wear attached to pants. Ice will reduced the swelling and the pain. Worked everytime for me when I got piles. Xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So take a sanitary towel cut slit in top where it would meet your hole. Insert ice and wear attached to pants. Ice will reduced the swelling and the pain. Worked everytime for me when I got piles. Xx"
This is genius actually  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've got piles again and it's sore as fuck.
I think she was finger blasting me in my sleep last night although I have no real proof other than a sore anus.
Smell her finger "
Buckled |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I would like to thank everyone for the love and support I've found in this thread.
Piles are no laughing matter, and I'm very happy to report the farmers are in retreat.
It won't be long before I won't need to sit on a water ring.
Shabba. |
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