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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Lets see who can come up with the corniest joke.
I'll start......why did the hedgehog cross the road?
....to see his flat mate,,,,,
What swims in the sea terrorising all the fish?
.....Jack the kipper!!!!!!
A white horse goes in to a bar and the barman says "I've got a drink named after you" and the horse says "What? Eric?"
Groan!!! Your turn   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What's the difference between a barrowboy and a Daschund?
One balls his wares out on the pavemant.........
Difference between a baby and a seagull?
One flits about the shore.....
A woman goes into a bar and asks for a double entendre so the bar man gives her one!!!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Did you hear about the cowboy who wore a brown paper suit?
He got done for rustling!!!!
What about the constipated mathematician?
He worked it out with a pencil!!!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What word's got 14 letters,begins with N,ends with N,has an N in the middle and means constipation???
Nnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!!!!!!
How can you tell if there's a blind man in a nudist colony?
Ach,it's no hard!!!
What do you call a man with a rabbit up his arse?
Warren!!!
What do you call a lady gardener with a pint of beer balanved on her head??
Beertrix Potter!!
What's brown,lumpy and lives in the sea?
Moby Mince!!
What's black and white and bounces??
A rubber nun!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I walked into the bedroom and my wife was putting her bra on in front of our 13 year old son."That's disgusting," I said, "You shouldn't be doing that in front of him.""Don't be silly," she replied, "He's my son, besides, you said your mother did it in front of you."I said, "She did, but my mother had nice tits." |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Rabbie Burns and his pal Tim go into a pub and are sitting having a couple of drinks when an Englishman walks in and says I bet anyone in this pub a bottle of the finest Scotch that I can say a better rhyme than them on any subject.
Tim says 'here Rabbie your good at they wee rhymes, you do it' So Rabbie stands up and says I'll take you on but what subject? The barman says Timbuctoo so the englishman gets up and says
'As i awalked along the docks
I saw a ship tied to the stalks
I thought I'd go and meet the crew
And sail with them to Timbuctoo'
everyone in the pub claps and hollers and Rabbie gets up and says
'Tim and I acamping went
Spied 3 lassies in a tent
As they were three and we were two
I bucked one and Tim bucked two'
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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terrorist phones a pet shop.
tells owner you have got 5 minuets
to evacuate the shop.or i will blow it up.owner replies,hey thats a bit harsh on the tortoise!!!!!!!!!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Wots green and walks through walls?
Casper the Friendly cooking apple
Why did the apple turnover?
Because it saw the sausage roll
Whats brown and quacks?
Donald mince
7 Dawarfs on the train feeling Happy.
Happy didnae like it so got off |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Q...What's the difference between a fridge and a fanny?
A...Fridges don't fart when you put the meat in.
When i was young i had two goldfish. I called them one and two-one died but i still had two. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What do you call an asian lesbian...mingeata
Chinaman with one testicle...wan hung lo
Irish poof...Pat Magroin
Two irish poofs...Gerald Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzgerald! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A herd of cattle is standing in a field one day when an earthquake strikes. The cows all lose their balance and fall over. But the bull remains standing.
The farmer rushes from the farmhouse to check that his cattle are ok and can't believe his eyes when he sees the bull still standing there.
The farmers asks the bull "How come you weren't affected by the earthquake like all the cows?!"
The bull replies, "We bulls wobble but we don't fall down" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Jesus walks into the inn and throws 3 nails on the bar.
Barman says "what can I do for you then Jesus"?
Jesus says " Just wondered if you could put me up for the night"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Whats the difference between a bucket of sand and a bucket of afterbirth?
You can't gargle with a bucket of sand
Fred u r one sick puppy"
Flattery will get you everywhere lol
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