FabSwingers.com > Forums > Scotland > Handy guide to bios
Handy guide to bios
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Found on twitter but could also apply here, what would you add ?
Fun loving = Swinger
Open minded = Pervert
New here = Previously banned
Here to make friends = Also a swinger
I like to have a laugh = Mind numbingly boring
Sarcastic = Dickhead
Not looking for anything/Happily married = DM slider AND pervert
Ps its just for fun, im bored in hospital  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Most laid back person ever = Complete stress bunny
Guaranteed to make you squirt - Will never make you cum, even with both hands and a torch
"
I guarantee to make anyone squirt!
But only in a supersoaker fight  |
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"That copyright disclaimer at the bottom of their profile - not just copied and pasted but researched thoroughly and should get in touch with me about a great money making pyramid opportunity.  "
That one is always great. If I see that I always think "this cunt believes anything she is told".
When you make your profile it tells you not to add it to your profile because it is a waste of time and only takes space on the server. Hha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Be kind - is a mean person who can be not so nice to you or anyone but your not suppose to call them out on it.
if you cant handle me at my worst you don't deserve me at my best = bomb scare |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Be kind - is a mean person who can be not so nice to you or anyone but your not suppose to call them out on it.
if you cant handle me at my worst you don't deserve me at my best = bomb scare"
Aye, that last comment makes me cringe too. I've seen your supposed best pics on here pal. Bolt |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No boring first messages - I've never messaged first and even if you send me a well thought out message I'll reply monosyllabically and give you nothing to go on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No boring first messages - I've never messaged first and even if you send me a well thought out message I'll reply monosyllabically and give you nothing to go on. "
That one rips my knitting too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No boring first messages - I've never messaged first and even if you send me a well thought out message I'll reply monosyllabically and give you nothing to go on. "
That really rips ma knittin |
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"547 profile views in 24 hours. Thanks guys" = My thirst trap status worked and everyone looked at my profile to see if I'd fuck them. Sadly none of the 547 sent a message because there is nothing interesting to see when they got there |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My husband doesn’t know - Yes he does, he just likes to secretly watch on his hidden camera system while jerking off into your knickers while “your down the local with next doors Sharon” |
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""547 profile views in 24 hours. Thanks guys" = My thirst trap status worked and everyone looked at my profile to see if I'd fuck them. Sadly none of the 547 sent a message because there is nothing interesting to see when they got there"
hahaha |
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Who will go round and fuck my husband while I'm at work = I'm a single guy who can't get a woman, pretending I'm a woman to trick a woman. I also have cats because at least I can then say I've seen a pussy before. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Who will go round and fuck my husband while I'm at work = I'm a single guy who can't get a woman, pretending I'm a woman to trick a woman. I also have cats because at least I can then say I've seen a pussy before. "
Love your contributions. They crack me up |
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I don't have a translation for this one but I've seen it on a couple of profiles now.
"Good Hygiene is important to us/ is a must"
Who is reading that going "well that's me out... I'm glad they said" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't have a translation for this one but I've seen it on a couple of profiles now.
"Good Hygiene is important to us/ is a must"
Who is reading that going "well that's me out... I'm glad they said" "
Thought that too...
"...back to the drawing board then with my cheesy knob..." |
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Cannot accommodate Cannot travel = ...... actually I have no fucking clue what that is. I'm still trying to work out the logistics of this one. Maybe they just glory hole it through the letter box? I'll revisit this one after more consideration. |
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Ffs can no one read a bio = my profile is so long winded and full of shit that people give up reading it after they eighth paragraph and decided to just chanve their luck with a polite message anyway. I am offended you haven't read every word before crafting an equally long first message to prove your worth to me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Cannot accommodate Cannot travel = ...... actually I have no fucking clue what that is. I'm still trying to work out the logistics of this one. Maybe they just glory hole it through the letter box? I'll revisit this one after more consideration. "
Hawwwwd on!!! I have this one … No, no I can’t accommodate and no I don’t want to travel so happy to share hotel costs locally   |
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"Cannot accommodate Cannot travel = ...... actually I have no fucking clue what that is. I'm still trying to work out the logistics of this one. Maybe they just glory hole it through the letter box? I'll revisit this one after more consideration.
Hawwwwd on!!! I have this one … No, no I can’t accommodate and no I don’t want to travel so happy to share hotel costs locally "
Surely accommodate means "fuck at mine" and travel means "fuck somewhere that isn't at mine". |
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To prove that you read my profile and you will do anything i say please message using the word “cheese” as the subject because you need to prove to me that you read my dull brining profile that as 10 paragraphs telling you what i don’t like! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Cannot accommodate Cannot travel = ...... actually I have no fucking clue what that is. I'm still trying to work out the logistics of this one. Maybe they just glory hole it through the letter box? I'll revisit this one after more consideration.
Hawwwwd on!!! I have this one … No, no I can’t accommodate and no I don’t want to travel so happy to share hotel costs locally
Surely accommodate means "fuck at mine" and travel means "fuck somewhere that isn't at mine". "
Yes but somewhere that isn’t mine LOCALLY |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Cannot accommodate Cannot travel = ...... actually I have no fucking clue what that is. I'm still trying to work out the logistics of this one. Maybe they just glory hole it through the letter box? I'll revisit this one after more consideration.
Hawwwwd on!!! I have this one … No, no I can’t accommodate and no I don’t want to travel so happy to share hotel costs locally
Surely accommodate means "fuck at mine" and travel means "fuck somewhere that isn't at mine".
Yes but somewhere that isn’t mine LOCALLY "
Ohhh as in locally to ME! |
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"Cannot accommodate Cannot travel = ...... actually I have no fucking clue what that is. I'm still trying to work out the logistics of this one. Maybe they just glory hole it through the letter box? I'll revisit this one after more consideration.
Hawwwwd on!!! I have this one … No, no I can’t accommodate and no I don’t want to travel so happy to share hotel costs locally
Surely accommodate means "fuck at mine" and travel means "fuck somewhere that isn't at mine".
Yes but somewhere that isn’t mine LOCALLY
Ohhh as in locally to ME! "
Sooooo travel short distances then?
I really wish I could use the Travolta gif here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Cannot accommodate Cannot travel = ...... actually I have no fucking clue what that is. I'm still trying to work out the logistics of this one. Maybe they just glory hole it through the letter box? I'll revisit this one after more consideration.
Hawwwwd on!!! I have this one … No, no I can’t accommodate and no I don’t want to travel so happy to share hotel costs locally
Surely accommodate means "fuck at mine" and travel means "fuck somewhere that isn't at mine".
Yes but somewhere that isn’t mine LOCALLY
Ohhh as in locally to ME!
Sooooo travel short distances then?
I really wish I could use the Travolta gif here. "
YES!! god… was just saying to someone gifs and likes on comments would be good here…. Travolta gif… hmm can I google it??? |
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"Cannot accommodate Cannot travel = ...... actually I have no fucking clue what that is. I'm still trying to work out the logistics of this one. Maybe they just glory hole it through the letter box? I'll revisit this one after more consideration.
Hawwwwd on!!! I have this one … No, no I can’t accommodate and no I don’t want to travel so happy to share hotel costs locally
Surely accommodate means "fuck at mine" and travel means "fuck somewhere that isn't at mine".
Yes but somewhere that isn’t mine LOCALLY
Ohhh as in locally to ME!
Sooooo travel short distances then?
I really wish I could use the Travolta gif here.
YES!! god… was just saying to someone gifs and likes on comments would be good here…. Travolta gif… hmm can I google it??? "
I'm not up to speed with your Google abilities |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Cannot accommodate Cannot travel = ...... actually I have no fucking clue what that is. I'm still trying to work out the logistics of this one. Maybe they just glory hole it through the letter box? I'll revisit this one after more consideration.
Hawwwwd on!!! I have this one … No, no I can’t accommodate and no I don’t want to travel so happy to share hotel costs locally
Surely accommodate means "fuck at mine" and travel means "fuck somewhere that isn't at mine".
Yes but somewhere that isn’t mine LOCALLY
Ohhh as in locally to ME!
Sooooo travel short distances then?
I really wish I could use the Travolta gif here.
YES!! god… was just saying to someone gifs and likes on comments would be good here…. Travolta gif… hmm can I google it???
I'm not up to speed with your Google abilities"
You’re not up to speed with fab preferences… quid pro quo Clarice |
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If you don't have enough info on your profile you will be blocked = I'm the type of fucktard that expects people I meet in public to have a full biography pinned to their forehead before I acknowledge their "hello" because I have no social or communication skills and don't know how to hold a conversation to get to known anyone. Team instant gratification. |
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By *avie65Man
over a year ago
In the west. |
"Cannot accommodate Cannot travel = ...... actually I have no fucking clue what that is. I'm still trying to work out the logistics of this one. Maybe they just glory hole it through the letter box? I'll revisit this one after more consideration.
Hawwwwd on!!! I have this one … No, no I can’t accommodate and no I don’t want to travel so happy to share hotel costs locally
Surely accommodate means "fuck at mine" and travel means "fuck somewhere that isn't at mine".
Yes but somewhere that isn’t mine LOCALLY
Ohhh as in locally to ME! "
Dear Google show me local hotels. |
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Bubbly - big lass but vibe careful she may be hungry and not horny
Gym fit- Steroid fan Dan with spotty back and nae calf muscles
Professional - thinks that gets the ladies leaking like an old fridge.
Fuck off yer just wantin’’ yer hole like the rest of us. |
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Male half allowed to play alone - there is no female half.
Been on before, know how it works - you left because you couldnt buy a meet, and or half the site blocked you, now your portraying yourself as a veteran thinking someone will falk for it.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No timewasters = like that will make them stop
I hate liars = who states on there profile that they like them?
Sydney institution crap on profiles = gullible
BDSM test results = I always skip it |
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We both go to the gym regularly and like to take care of ourselves and we look for the same = No fattys
We have curves and bumps and if that's not for you.. = Cards on the table gym cunts, we're fattys.
We don't do (insert here). No judgement, just not for us = 100 percent judging you. You dirty dirty fucking deviants. |
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"We both go to the gym regularly and like to take care of ourselves and we look for the same = No fattys
We have curves and bumps and if that's not for you.. = Cards on the table gym cunts, we're fattys.
We don't do (insert here). No judgement, just not for us = 100 percent judging you. You dirty dirty fucking deviants. "
x |
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By *eorgeGRMan
over a year ago
Livingston |
Partner knows I’m here = Partner knows shit
Truthful and Honest = …compared to Boris Johnson
New profile, lost my verifications = old profile had exactly the same number of verifications as this; zero
Can’t meet at the drop of a hat = or any other article of clothing
You’re not allowed to use my pictures under the European Law, the Magna Carta, the 10 commandments and the Junior Woodchuck Guidebook = I have no idea how the internet works but this bit of text sounds cool and a lot of people use it so that makes it true, right?
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