FabSwingers.com > Forums > Scotland > Dreaded two lines
Dreaded two lines
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"Need any jokes , stories and tales got the dreaded C19 please keep me going over the next while as I isolate . 
Aww total pants. Trip over the border and your free to roam and spread. x"
I’ve only got cold symptoms so far hope it stays like that . I don’t mind our southern neighbours so I’ll not be a super spreader .  |
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"Sorry to hear that, hope your symptoms aren't too bad. Found out today that my sister and her husband both have it now. Do you need anything Steph? x"
Just need to be kept going for next we while so anything to keep me going much appreciated . ( if you’ve two metre long arms you could offer relief to my arm )  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sorry to hear that, hope your symptoms aren't too bad. Found out today that my sister and her husband both have it now. Do you need anything Steph? x
Just need to be kept going for next we while so anything to keep me going much appreciated . ( if you’ve two metre long arms you could offer relief to my arm ) "
Just call me stretch! X |
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"Sorry to hear that, hope your symptoms aren't too bad. Found out today that my sister and her husband both have it now. Do you need anything Steph? x
Just need to be kept going for next we while so anything to keep me going much appreciated . ( if you’ve two metre long arms you could offer relief to my arm )
Just call me stretch! X"
Stretch Armstrong remember him ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sorry to hear that, hope your symptoms aren't too bad. Found out today that my sister and her husband both have it now. Do you need anything Steph? x
Just need to be kept going for next we while so anything to keep me going much appreciated . ( if you’ve two metre long arms you could offer relief to my arm )
Just call me stretch! X
Stretch Armstrong remember him ? "
I do indeed! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m afraid all I have is dad jokes that always make people tut at me but as you have covid here is my current one:
What do you call an anti-vaxxer nanny?
Mrs Doubt-Pfizer |
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"I’m afraid all I have is dad jokes that always make people tut at me but as you have covid here is my current one:
What do you call an anti-vaxxer nanny?
Mrs Doubt-Pfizer"
Check out the dad jokes thread in the lounge a couple of days ago . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Need any jokes , stories and tales got the dreaded C19 please keep me going over the next while as I isolate .
Aww total pants. Trip over the border and your free to roam and spread. x
I’ve only got cold symptoms so far hope it stays like that . I don’t mind our southern neighbours so I’ll not be a super spreader . "
Why do I always think of something else when I hear "super spreader"   |
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"Need any jokes , stories and tales got the dreaded C19 please keep me going over the next while as I isolate .
Aww total pants. Trip over the border and your free to roam and spread. x
I’ve only got cold symptoms so far hope it stays like that . I don’t mind our southern neighbours so I’ll not be a super spreader .
Why do I always think of something else when I hear "super spreader" "
Ye have got dirty thoughts on the brain . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Need any jokes , stories and tales got the dreaded C19 please keep me going over the next while as I isolate .
Aww total pants. Trip over the border and your free to roam and spread. x
I’ve only got cold symptoms so far hope it stays like that . I don’t mind our southern neighbours so I’ll not be a super spreader .
Why do I always think of something else when I hear "super spreader"
Ye have got dirty thoughts on the brain . "
Me! Dirty thoughts! Never! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Awwwww sorry you're not feeling so good Steph, on that note though and to hopefully cheer you up...
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
It wasn’t peeling well... |
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"Awwwww sorry you're not feeling so good Steph, on that note though and to hopefully cheer you up...
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
It wasn’t peeling well... "
Is there worse than a dad joke ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Awwwww sorry you're not feeling so good Steph, on that note though and to hopefully cheer you up...
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
It wasn’t peeling well...
Is there worse than a dad joke ? "
There can always be worse, there's the German sausage ones... they ARE the wurst |
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By *imbobaMan
over a year ago
Glasgow |
"Awwwww sorry you're not feeling so good Steph, on that note though and to hopefully cheer you up...
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
It wasn’t peeling well...
Is there worse than a dad joke ?
There can always be worse, there's the German sausage ones... they ARE the wurst "
What do you call a Frenchman walking down the beach?
Philippe-falop |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Awwwww sorry you're not feeling so good Steph, on that note though and to hopefully cheer you up...
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
It wasn’t peeling well...
Is there worse than a dad joke ?
There can always be worse, there's the German sausage ones... they ARE the wurst
What do you call a Frenchman walking down the beach?
Philippe-falop"
I laughed at that more than I should...  |
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"Awwwww sorry you're not feeling so good Steph, on that note though and to hopefully cheer you up...
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
It wasn’t peeling well...
Is there worse than a dad joke ?
There can always be worse, there's the German sausage ones... they ARE the wurst
What do you call a Frenchman walking down the beach?
Philippe-falop
I laughed at that more than I should... "
Hope if wasn't a tena lady moment. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Awwwww sorry you're not feeling so good Steph, on that note though and to hopefully cheer you up...
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
It wasn’t peeling well...
Is there worse than a dad joke ?
There can always be worse, there's the German sausage ones... they ARE the wurst
What do you call a Frenchman walking down the beach?
Philippe-falop
I laughed at that more than I should...
Hope if wasn't a tena lady moment. "
That would have been pish |
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"Awwwww sorry you're not feeling so good Steph, on that note though and to hopefully cheer you up...
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
It wasn’t peeling well...
Is there worse than a dad joke ?
There can always be worse, there's the German sausage ones... they ARE the wurst
What do you call a Frenchman walking down the beach?
Philippe-falop
I laughed at that more than I should...
Hope if wasn't a tena lady moment.
That would have been pish "
Just keeping the level down . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Awwwww sorry you're not feeling so good Steph, on that note though and to hopefully cheer you up...
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
It wasn’t peeling well...
Is there worse than a dad joke ?
There can always be worse, there's the German sausage ones... they ARE the wurst
What do you call a Frenchman walking down the beach?
Philippe-falop
I laughed at that more than I should...
Hope if wasn't a tena lady moment.
That would have been pish
Just keeping the level down . "
There's a level??? Where?  |
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"Awwwww sorry you're not feeling so good Steph, on that note though and to hopefully cheer you up...
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
It wasn’t peeling well...
Is there worse than a dad joke ?
There can always be worse, there's the German sausage ones... they ARE the wurst
What do you call a Frenchman walking down the beach?
Philippe-falop
I laughed at that more than I should...
Hope if wasn't a tena lady moment.
That would have been pish
Just keeping the level down .
There's a level??? Where? "
Gutter……with you two |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Awwwww sorry you're not feeling so good Steph, on that note though and to hopefully cheer you up...
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
It wasn’t peeling well...
Is there worse than a dad joke ?
There can always be worse, there's the German sausage ones... they ARE the wurst
What do you call a Frenchman walking down the beach?
Philippe-falop
I laughed at that more than I should...
Hope if wasn't a tena lady moment.
That would have been pish
Just keeping the level down .
There's a level??? Where?
Gusset……with you two "
Sorted that for ya Reggi
|
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"Awwwww sorry you're not feeling so good Steph, on that note though and to hopefully cheer you up...
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
It wasn’t peeling well...
Is there worse than a dad joke ?
There can always be worse, there's the German sausage ones... they ARE the wurst
What do you call a Frenchman walking down the beach?
Philippe-falop
I laughed at that more than I should...
Hope if wasn't a tena lady moment.
That would have been pish
Just keeping the level down .
There's a level??? Where?
Gutter……with you two "
She cannae see it her boobs are in the way .  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Awwwww sorry you're not feeling so good Steph, on that note though and to hopefully cheer you up...
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
It wasn’t peeling well...
Is there worse than a dad joke ?
There can always be worse, there's the German sausage ones... they ARE the wurst
What do you call a Frenchman walking down the beach?
Philippe-falop
I laughed at that more than I should...
Hope if wasn't a tena lady moment.
That would have been pish
Just keeping the level down .
There's a level??? Where?
Gutter……with you two
She cannae see it her boobs are in the way . "
Who said that |
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"Awwwww sorry you're not feeling so good Steph, on that note though and to hopefully cheer you up...
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
It wasn’t peeling well...
Is there worse than a dad joke ?
There can always be worse, there's the German sausage ones... they ARE the wurst
What do you call a Frenchman walking down the beach?
Philippe-falop
I laughed at that more than I should...
Hope if wasn't a tena lady moment.
That would have been pish
Just keeping the level down .
There's a level??? Where?
Gusset……with you two
Sorted that for ya Reggi
"
You’re a bugger Red  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Awwwww sorry you're not feeling so good Steph, on that note though and to hopefully cheer you up...
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
It wasn’t peeling well...
Is there worse than a dad joke ?
There can always be worse, there's the German sausage ones... they ARE the wurst
What do you call a Frenchman walking down the beach?
Philippe-falop
I laughed at that more than I should...
Hope if wasn't a tena lady moment.
That would have been pish
Just keeping the level down .
There's a level??? Where?
Gusset……with you two
Sorted that for ya Reggi
You’re a bugger Red "
I love ya too missus  |
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"Awwwww sorry you're not feeling so good Steph, on that note though and to hopefully cheer you up...
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
It wasn’t peeling well...
Is there worse than a dad joke ?
There can always be worse, there's the German sausage ones... they ARE the wurst
What do you call a Frenchman walking down the beach?
Philippe-falop
I laughed at that more than I should...
Hope if wasn't a tena lady moment.
That would have been pish
Just keeping the level down .
There's a level??? Where?
Gutter……with you two
She cannae see it her boobs are in the way . "
That’s her buoyancy aids for swimming |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Awwwww sorry you're not feeling so good Steph, on that note though and to hopefully cheer you up...
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
It wasn’t peeling well...
Is there worse than a dad joke ?
There can always be worse, there's the German sausage ones... they ARE the wurst
What do you call a Frenchman walking down the beach?
Philippe-falop
I laughed at that more than I should...
Hope if wasn't a tena lady moment.
That would have been pish
Just keeping the level down .
There's a level??? Where?
Gutter……with you two
She cannae see it her boobs are in the way .
That’s her buoyancy aids for swimming "
I canny swim... keep bobbing up n doon |
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"Awwwww sorry you're not feeling so good Steph, on that note though and to hopefully cheer you up...
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
It wasn’t peeling well...
Is there worse than a dad joke ?
There can always be worse, there's the German sausage ones... they ARE the wurst
What do you call a Frenchman walking down the beach?
Philippe-falop
I laughed at that more than I should...
Hope if wasn't a tena lady moment.
That would have been pish
Just keeping the level down .
There's a level??? Where?
Soggy Gusset……with you two
Sorted that for ya Reggi
"
Sorted! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Awwwww sorry you're not feeling so good Steph, on that note though and to hopefully cheer you up...
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
It wasn’t peeling well...
Is there worse than a dad joke ?
There can always be worse, there's the German sausage ones... they ARE the wurst
What do you call a Frenchman walking down the beach?
Philippe-falop
I laughed at that more than I should...
Hope if wasn't a tena lady moment.
That would have been pish
Just keeping the level down .
There's a level??? Where?
Soggy Gusset……with you two
Sorted that for ya Reggi
Sorted! "
Smertygusset |
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"Awwwww sorry you're not feeling so good Steph, on that note though and to hopefully cheer you up...
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
It wasn’t peeling well...
Is there worse than a dad joke ?
There can always be worse, there's the German sausage ones... they ARE the wurst
What do you call a Frenchman walking down the beach?
Philippe-falop
I laughed at that more than I should...
Hope if wasn't a tena lady moment.
That would have been pish
Just keeping the level down .
There's a level??? Where?
Gutter……with you two
She cannae see it her boobs are in the way .
That’s her buoyancy aids for swimming
I canny swim... keep bobbing up n doon "
At least you’ll not sink |
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"Awwwww sorry you're not feeling so good Steph, on that note though and to hopefully cheer you up...
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
It wasn’t peeling well...
Is there worse than a dad joke ?
There can always be worse, there's the German sausage ones... they ARE the wurst
What do you call a Frenchman walking down the beach?
Philippe-falop
I laughed at that more than I should...
Hope if wasn't a tena lady moment.
That would have been pish
Just keeping the level down .
There's a level??? Where?
Soggy Gusset……with you two
Sorted that for ya Reggi
Sorted! "
|
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"Awwwww sorry you're not feeling so good Steph, on that note though and to hopefully cheer you up...
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
It wasn’t peeling well...
Is there worse than a dad joke ?
There can always be worse, there's the German sausage ones... they ARE the wurst
What do you call a Frenchman walking down the beach?
Philippe-falop
I laughed at that more than I should...
Hope if wasn't a tena lady moment.
That would have been pish
Just keeping the level down .
There's a level??? Where?
Gutter……with you two
She cannae see it her boobs are in the way .
That’s her buoyancy aids for swimming
I canny swim... keep bobbing up n doon
At least you’ll not sink "
Is it true she was floating in the sea on her back and someone thought it was mooring buoys ? |
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"Awwwww sorry you're not feeling so good Steph, on that note though and to hopefully cheer you up...
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
It wasn’t peeling well...
Is there worse than a dad joke ?
There can always be worse, there's the German sausage ones... they ARE the wurst
What do you call a Frenchman walking down the beach?
Philippe-falop
I laughed at that more than I should...
Hope if wasn't a tena lady moment.
That would have been pish
Just keeping the level down .
There's a level??? Where?
Gutter……with you two
She cannae see it her boobs are in the way .
That’s her buoyancy aids for swimming
I canny swim... keep bobbing up n doon
At least you’ll not sink
Is it true she was floating in the sea on her back and someone thought it was mooring buoys ? "
And a seagull landed on one. |
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"Awwwww sorry you're not feeling so good Steph, on that note though and to hopefully cheer you up...
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
It wasn’t peeling well...
Is there worse than a dad joke ?
There can always be worse, there's the German sausage ones... they ARE the wurst
What do you call a Frenchman walking down the beach?
Philippe-falop
I laughed at that more than I should...
Hope if wasn't a tena lady moment.
That would have been pish
Just keeping the level down .
There's a level??? Where?
Gutter……with you two
She cannae see it her boobs are in the way .
That’s her buoyancy aids for swimming
I canny swim... keep bobbing up n doon
At least you’ll not sink
Is it true she was floating in the sea on her back and someone thought it was mooring buoys ?
And a seagull landed on one. "
Not an albatross ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Awwwww sorry you're not feeling so good Steph, on that note though and to hopefully cheer you up...
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
It wasn’t peeling well...
Is there worse than a dad joke ?
There can always be worse, there's the German sausage ones... they ARE the wurst
What do you call a Frenchman walking down the beach?
Philippe-falop
I laughed at that more than I should...
Hope if wasn't a tena lady moment.
That would have been pish
Just keeping the level down .
There's a level??? Where?
Gutter……with you two
She cannae see it her boobs are in the way .
That’s her buoyancy aids for swimming
I canny swim... keep bobbing up n doon
At least you’ll not sink
Is it true she was floating in the sea on her back and someone thought it was mooring buoys ?
And a seagull landed on one.
Not an albatross ? "
Actually it was a blue footed booby |
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"Awwwww sorry you're not feeling so good Steph, on that note though and to hopefully cheer you up...
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
It wasn’t peeling well...
Is there worse than a dad joke ?
There can always be worse, there's the German sausage ones... they ARE the wurst
What do you call a Frenchman walking down the beach?
Philippe-falop
I laughed at that more than I should...
Hope if wasn't a tena lady moment.
That would have been pish
Just keeping the level down .
There's a level??? Where?
Gutter……with you two
She cannae see it her boobs are in the way .
That’s her buoyancy aids for swimming "
and boy can ye see them  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Awwwww sorry you're not feeling so good Steph, on that note though and to hopefully cheer you up...
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
It wasn’t peeling well...
Is there worse than a dad joke ?
There can always be worse, there's the German sausage ones... they ARE the wurst
What do you call a Frenchman walking down the beach?
Philippe-falop
I laughed at that more than I should...
Hope if wasn't a tena lady moment.
That would have been pish
Just keeping the level down .
There's a level??? Where?
Gutter……with you two
She cannae see it her boobs are in the way .
That’s her buoyancy aids for swimming and boy can ye see them "
Fae Falkirk???  |
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"Awwwww sorry you're not feeling so good Steph, on that note though and to hopefully cheer you up...
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
It wasn’t peeling well...
Is there worse than a dad joke ?
There can always be worse, there's the German sausage ones... they ARE the wurst
What do you call a Frenchman walking down the beach?
Philippe-falop
I laughed at that more than I should...
Hope if wasn't a tena lady moment.
That would have been pish
Just keeping the level down .
There's a level??? Where?
Gutter……with you two
She cannae see it her boobs are in the way .
That’s her buoyancy aids for swimming and boy can ye see them
Fae Falkirk??? "
Are they not the ninth wonder of the world ? ( wonder how bad her back hurts ? ) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Awwwww sorry you're not feeling so good Steph, on that note though and to hopefully cheer you up...
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
It wasn’t peeling well...
Is there worse than a dad joke ?
There can always be worse, there's the German sausage ones... they ARE the wurst
What do you call a Frenchman walking down the beach?
Philippe-falop
I laughed at that more than I should...
Hope if wasn't a tena lady moment.
That would have been pish
Just keeping the level down .
There's a level??? Where?
Gutter……with you two
She cannae see it her boobs are in the way .
That’s her buoyancy aids for swimming and boy can ye see them
Fae Falkirk???
Are they not the ninth wonder of the world ? ( wonder how bad her back hurts ? ) "
Hellish Steph... I get regular massages though and started using a barrow |
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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago
Paisley |
"I hope you feel better soon. I had it over Christmas.
Can’t think of any jokes so far. Fx
At least your shoes thread gave me a giggle . "
There’s more to that saga. I was meant to collect them after receiving a pic to show that they had indeed been retrieved from the skip. With a suitable reward that would have been mutually enjoyable only to get a message with a pic of his positive LFT. Reward and shoes on hold until he tests negative.
|
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"I hope you feel better soon. I had it over Christmas.
Can’t think of any jokes so far. Fx
At least your shoes thread gave me a giggle .
There’s more to that saga. I was meant to collect them after receiving a pic to show that they had indeed been retrieved from the skip. With a suitable reward that would have been mutually enjoyable only to get a message with a pic of his positive LFT. Reward and shoes on hold until he tests negative.
"
It wasn't me before anyone puts 2 and 2 together and gets 5 . |
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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago
Paisley |
"I hope you feel better soon. I had it over Christmas.
Can’t think of any jokes so far. Fx
At least your shoes thread gave me a giggle .
There’s more to that saga. I was meant to collect them after receiving a pic to show that they had indeed been retrieved from the skip. With a suitable reward that would have been mutually enjoyable only to get a message with a pic of his positive LFT. Reward and shoes on hold until he tests negative.
It wasn't me before anyone puts 2 and 2 together and gets 5 . "
I hope you’re feeling better. Today’s the day I pick up my shoes and give him a suitable reward  |
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"I hope you feel better soon. I had it over Christmas.
Can’t think of any jokes so far. Fx
At least your shoes thread gave me a giggle .
There’s more to that saga. I was meant to collect them after receiving a pic to show that they had indeed been retrieved from the skip. With a suitable reward that would have been mutually enjoyable only to get a message with a pic of his positive LFT. Reward and shoes on hold until he tests negative.
It wasn't me before anyone puts 2 and 2 together and gets 5 .
I hope you’re feeling better. Today’s the day I pick up my shoes and give him a suitable reward "
Don't forget them this time . I'm almost over it roll on Friday freedom Day . |
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"Can you make room on that bench for me Steph
It’s more than 2 meters long , hope you don’t get to unwell take care . x  feeling pants today just hope this is the worst of it Xx "
Keep drinking ( not alcohol ) take paracetamol organise friends and family keep in touch keep boredom at bay . Count the days down to freedom . |
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"Can you make room on that bench for me Steph
It’s more than 2 meters long , hope you don’t get to unwell take care . x feeling pants today just hope this is the worst of it Xx
Keep drinking ( not alcohol ) take paracetamol organise friends and family keep in touch keep boredom at bay . Count the days down to freedom . "
I am Steph Xx |
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