Got sent this and thought we'd share
FIFE : NEW LOCKDOWN RULES FROM 16th DECEMBER 2021
COWDENBEATH: It’s still ok to fight with your neighbour as long as you wear a mask and social distancing rules are adhered to
LUMPHINANS: Burgling homes in your local area is still permitted as long as you sanitise. Track and trace technology must be used.
LOCHGELLY: You can only visit your dealer when dropping your kids off at school. Dealers must wear visors and sanitise all bags.
CROSSGATES: You can still have sex with your sister but you must be home by 10 pm.
DUNFERMLINE: Vigilante groups of 6 only permitted outdoors between the hours of 10 pm and 6am, ppe must be worn during physical contact & raves.
KELTY: Sitting in the park is encouraged, but please note, although a bottle of white lightening has higher alcohol content than hand sanitiser, it is not a suitable substitute.
BALLINGRY: Prostitute services will still be permitted to stay open as an essential service. Due to concerns of an economic collapse in the area.
LOCHORE: Is now classed as a ‘NO GO ZONE’. If you must travel through this area please follow all diversions, stay in your car at all times. Masks are not required as nothing is open.
DALGETY BAY: All middle class drug fueled swinging orgies must adere to the rule of 6. Masks must be worn. Gimp masks are deemed suitable.
KINGLASSIE: Flashing your genitalia on the cycle track is permitted strictly between the hours of 9am-10am, sterile gloves must be worn at all times.
GLENROTHES: No need to wear a mask or self isolate, covid can’t find your house.
KIRKCALDY: Everyone must stay at home and self isolate until manufacturers can supply and distribute gloves with 6 fingers. |
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"Got sent this and thought we'd share
FIFE : NEW LOCKDOWN RULES FROM 16th DECEMBER 2021
COWDENBEATH: It’s still ok to fight with your neighbour as long as you wear a mask and social distancing rules are adhered to
LUMPHINANS: Burgling homes in your local area is still permitted as long as you sanitise. Track and trace technology must be used.
LOCHGELLY: You can only visit your dealer when dropping your kids off at school. Dealers must wear visors and sanitise all bags.
CROSSGATES: You can still have sex with your sister but you must be home by 10 pm.
DUNFERMLINE: Vigilante groups of 6 only permitted outdoors between the hours of 10 pm and 6am, ppe must be worn during physical contact & raves.
KELTY: Sitting in the park is encouraged, but please note, although a bottle of white lightening has higher alcohol content than hand sanitiser, it is not a suitable substitute.
BALLINGRY: Prostitute services will still be permitted to stay open as an essential service. Due to concerns of an economic collapse in the area.
LOCHORE: Is now classed as a ‘NO GO ZONE’. If you must travel through this area please follow all diversions, stay in your car at all times. Masks are not required as nothing is open.
DALGETY BAY: All middle class drug fueled swinging orgies must adere to the rule of 6. Masks must be worn. Gimp masks are deemed suitable.
KINGLASSIE: Flashing your genitalia on the cycle track is permitted strictly between the hours of 9am-10am, sterile gloves must be worn at all times.
GLENROTHES: No need to wear a mask or self isolate, covid can’t find your house.
KIRKCALDY: Everyone must stay at home and self isolate until manufacturers can supply and distribute gloves with 6 fingers."
That is Awesome!!! Love it!!! So true!!!  |
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By *cotsguyyMan
over a year ago
Belfast and Fife |
"Got sent this and thought we'd share
FIFE : NEW LOCKDOWN RULES FROM 16th DECEMBER 2021
COWDENBEATH: It’s still ok to fight with your neighbour as long as you wear a mask and social distancing rules are adhered to
LUMPHINANS: Burgling homes in your local area is still permitted as long as you sanitise. Track and trace technology must be used.
LOCHGELLY: You can only visit your dealer when dropping your kids off at school. Dealers must wear visors and sanitise all bags.
CROSSGATES: You can still have sex with your sister but you must be home by 10 pm.
DUNFERMLINE: Vigilante groups of 6 only permitted outdoors between the hours of 10 pm and 6am, ppe must be worn during physical contact & raves.
KELTY: Sitting in the park is encouraged, but please note, although a bottle of white lightening has higher alcohol content than hand sanitiser, it is not a suitable substitute.
BALLINGRY: Prostitute services will still be permitted to stay open as an essential service. Due to concerns of an economic collapse in the area.
LOCHORE: Is now classed as a ‘NO GO ZONE’. If you must travel through this area please follow all diversions, stay in your car at all times. Masks are not required as nothing is open.
DALGETY BAY: All middle class drug fueled swinging orgies must adere to the rule of 6. Masks must be worn. Gimp masks are deemed suitable.
KINGLASSIE: Flashing your genitalia on the cycle track is permitted strictly between the hours of 9am-10am, sterile gloves must be worn at all times.
GLENROTHES: No need to wear a mask or self isolate, covid can’t find your house.
KIRKCALDY: Everyone must stay at home and self isolate until manufacturers can supply and distribute gloves with 6 fingers."
Hahaha, fantastic. Good laugh, thanks. |
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