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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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A little old lady, well into her eighties, slowly enters the front door of a sex shop.
Obviously very unstable on her feet, she wobbles the few feet across the store to the counter.
Finally arriving at the counter and grabbing it for support, stuttering she asks the sales clerk,wibblerwibbler
"Dooo youuuu have dilllldosss?"
The clerk, politely trying not to burst out laughing, replies, "Yes we do have dildos.
Actually we carry many different models."
The old woman then asks: "Doooo youuuu carrryy aaa pppinkk onnee,
tttenn inchessss lllong aaandd aabboutt ttwoo inchesss ththiickk...aaand rrunns by bbaatteries ?"
The clerk responds, "Yes we do.."
"Ddddooo yyoooouuuu kknnnoooww hhhowww tttooo ttturrrnnn iittt offfff?"  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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A man goes on holiday to the Holy Land with his wife and mother-in-law, but while they are away the mother-in-law dies. The couple go to an undertaker who explains that they can ship the body home but it will cost over £5000, or bury her in the Holy Land for £150.
The man says, "We’ll ship her home." The undertaker asks, "Are you sure? It is an awfully big expense"
The man says "Look, around 2000 years ago they buried a man here and three days later he rose from the dead. I just cant take that chance."
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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A Geordie goes with a prostitute from Wigan.
He drops his pants, gets his manhood out and the prostitute exclaims
"By that's a gud un".
The Geordie says "What's a gud un?" She replies "It means that's a big one"
She then drops her knickers and the Geordie says "By that's a canny un". The prostitute asks "What's a canny un?" The Geordie replies
" A big Fecking valley that cowboys ride through" |
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