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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There was the anaphylactic shock from flavoured condoms
Or the loss of conciousness from a steering wheel
There was even a snapped banjo string
I'm a liability  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There was the anaphylactic shock from flavoured condoms
Or the loss of conciousness from a steering wheel
There was even a snapped banjo string
I'm a liability "
Jeezus all that?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There was the anaphylactic shock from flavoured condoms
Or the loss of conciousness from a steering wheel
There was even a snapped banjo string
I'm a liability "
Not a snapped banjo string !!! Ouch !! Makes my eyes water thinking of that |
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"There was the anaphylactic shock from flavoured condoms
Or the loss of conciousness from a steering wheel
There was even a snapped banjo string
I'm a liability "
Oh my that does not sound good! Maybe you should get insurance? 
They make my nosebleeds and need for frozen peas to the forehead mid shag seem tame haha |
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By *un44Man
over a year ago
GLASGOW |
"There was the anaphylactic shock from flavoured condoms
Or the loss of conciousness from a steering wheel
There was even a snapped banjo string
I'm a liability "
I really hope this all didn't happen in the one session |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Lol I should come with a health and safety warning I reckon.
To be fair I've not had anything more than a bumped head or carpet burns since my late teens/early 20's but I'm known for being a clumsy person generally. |
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By *rFunBoyMan
over a year ago
Longridge |
A short passed on to me by an ex calling me from work in A&E at 4am in the morning as had to tell me.
About 10pm the night before a guy was sheepishly stood at A&E check-in. Asked if he needed help, said no, but my friend outside is embarrassed to come in and does need help.
So, she went out to see him. Long story short, they had been 'playing' and took it on themselves to lube up a light bulb and use it for stimulation. All was going well after inserting the cap end in first until, it all went in and vanished.
As the big end was now well inside his rectum, it was impossible to grip and therefore, well and truly planted.
Bringing him in to see a doctor, whi decided forceps was the solution to pull out the bulb, called maternity and a set was brought down.
Unfortunately, while extracting the bulb, the forceps squeezed a little too hard, shattering the bulb just inside his rectal passage meaning emergency transfer to theatre for an operation to remove the broken glass.
150 or so micro stitches later, he was in recovery room and my ex went for a coffee in the canteen joined by the sister in charge who had the same unusual surname as the guy with the bulb, you can imagine the jokes banding around A&E by this time.
Asking her sons name, which was a match, she informed her if the evening's events with her 'son' and having heard the terrible jokes, had to go to recovery room to see him.
Not a bright idea!!! |
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"I had a nosebleed and bled all over someones middle bits at a house party."
I was going down on a lady and looked up and she said "Oh my God, has my period started" I looked down, and then ran a hand under my nose and replied, "No, I've just got a nose bleed!"
We laughed about it after! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was down on a girl and she farted in my face as she came. Felt the wind and everything, gave me the actual full boak.
and before anyone asks the obvious, the answer is yes, the sex continued even though I’d decided she was utterly bouffin. Ya don’t have to like ‘me to ride ‘em  |
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By *wifterMan
over a year ago
lancaster |
I was playing with a wife just before the club closed so was rushing a bit. She was very tight and my frenulum/banjo split. I had a long drive before I could get to AandE. Blood all over the car and sitting in the waiting room in an expanding pool of blood on the floor. Fortunately this enabled me to jump the queue. The pain of injections and stitches were only slightly relieved by laughing gas. Took ages before I dared to try sex again but all seems ok now. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My ex bought some "sexy" satin sheets. Turns out they're super slidey. We found this out mid shagging when he slid off the edge of the bed, grabbing my arm and dislocating my shoulder in the process. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Whilst having a bit of fun in the shower with a former partner she got over excited and spun around to change positions and in the process hit her arm of the wall fracturing her wrist |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This didn't happen to me.. Honest.
I read this a few days ago on the trashy news feed items that my phone posts each morning and i thought it was hilarious.
"A man got an artillery shell stuck up his rectum whilst cleaning in the nude.
The man – who understandably remains nameless in reports – told staff at Gloucestershire Royal Hospital that he is a military collector and had accidentally fallen down on a WW2 projectile when he was having a clear out of his memorabilia.
A bum squad – sorry, bomb squad – then arrived at A&E, sent by the ministry of defence who had been contacted by the local police".
How embarrassing  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There was the anaphylactic shock from flavoured condoms
Or the loss of conciousness from a steering wheel
There was even a snapped banjo string
I'm a liability "
Snapped banjo string... ouch |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was down on a girl and she farted in my face as she came. Felt the wind and everything, gave me the actual full boak.
and before anyone asks the obvious, the answer is yes, the sex continued even though I’d decided she was utterly bouffin. Ya don’t have to like ‘me to ride ‘em "
Absolutely buckled laughing reading that!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was down on a girl and she farted in my face as she came. Felt the wind and everything, gave me the actual full boak.
and before anyone asks the obvious, the answer is yes, the sex continued even though I’d decided she was utterly bouffin. Ya don’t have to like ‘me to ride ‘em
Absolutely buckled laughing reading that! "
I have the weakest stomach known to man, due the that, this left a mark (on me mentally not the sheets as i probably did check) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Quite a few injuries, I like women being rough! One time woman put me in rear hold arms tight around my neck squeezing, out in seconds, fell forward, bending toes backwards, sprained toe, bruised foot!
Woman wrapped legs tight around me, squeezed hard, bruised ribs!
Cut in back of leg from women's heel when legs wrapped around mine.
Another time fell to floor together, big scrape, burn on shoulder, lot of blood, so a few small injuries, fun at the time though! |
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