FabSwingers.com > Forums > Scotland > Friday night Fab bar
Friday night Fab bar
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It's Friday, then.. Free Bar!
Your Barman for the night is the prince of positive, progressive energy himself, and a true force to be reckoned with.. DYNAMIC.
Keeping the pished females and _estless natives in check tonight is NATIVE RESTLESS. (Mibbe I got that arse to tit - I hired in a hurry) - the bouncy bloke affy the other thread.
Good luck, guys. *Snigger* |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"*enters with what looks to be a concealed weapon""
Excuse me sir..... .you need a good patting down before you enter this establishment, step this way and lose the clothes please  |
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"*enters with what looks to be a concealed weapon"
Excuse me sir..... .you need a good patting down before you enter this establishment, step this way and lose the clothes please "
Erm.. Is the whole purpose of patting down no to feel if there's something concealed? Kinda pointless if I'm starkers, nah? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"*enters with what looks to be a concealed weapon"
Excuse me sir..... .you need a good patting down before you enter this establishment, step this way and lose the clothes please
Erm.. Is the whole purpose of patting down no to feel if there's something concealed? Kinda pointless if I'm starkers, nah?"
I like to be sure!! Pat you down
....then pat you down naked, just incase. I take my job very seriously |
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"*enters with what looks to be a concealed weapon"
Excuse me sir..... .you need a good patting down before you enter this establishment, step this way and lose the clothes please
Erm.. Is the whole purpose of patting down no to feel if there's something concealed? Kinda pointless if I'm starkers, nah?
I like to be sure!! Pat you down
....then pat you down naked, just incase. I take my job very seriously "
You werni even hired! Yer just a perv! Where's the bouncer!? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"*enters with what looks to be a concealed weapon"
Or maybe you're just pleased to see me 
I am! I am!
Nobody's ordered a drink at the free bar. Wtf"
It's my game plan.. Stay sober and become more attractive to men with beer goggles  |
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"*enters with what looks to be a concealed weapon"
Excuse me sir..... .you need a good patting down before you enter this establishment, step this way and lose the clothes please
Erm.. Is the whole purpose of patting down no to feel if there's something concealed? Kinda pointless if I'm starkers, nah?
I like to be sure!! Pat you down
....then pat you down naked, just incase. I take my job very seriously
You werni even hired! Yer just a perv! Where's the bouncer!?"
It’s alright, I’m here!
I’ll have a vsl, barman! |
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"*enters with what looks to be a concealed weapon"
Or maybe you're just pleased to see me
I am! I am!
Nobody's ordered a drink at the free bar. Wtf
It's my game plan.. Stay sober and become more attractive to men with beer goggles "
Grab a chair and do your stuff. That will work way better than beer goggles. Watch out for the women, too, though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"*enters with what looks to be a concealed weapon"
Or maybe you're just pleased to see me
I am! I am!
Nobody's ordered a drink at the free bar. Wtf"
Bud light for me pls bottle or can not bothered as am only a light weight . Cheers barman/ barmaid  |
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"*enters with what looks to be a concealed weapon"
Excuse me sir..... .you need a good patting down before you enter this establishment, step this way and lose the clothes please
Erm.. Is the whole purpose of patting down no to feel if there's something concealed? Kinda pointless if I'm starkers, nah?
I like to be sure!! Pat you down
....then pat you down naked, just incase. I take my job very seriously
You werni even hired! Yer just a perv! Where's the bouncer!?"
Watching the glamourous assistants pat doon the punters |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"*enters with what looks to be a concealed weapon"
Excuse me sir..... .you need a good patting down before you enter this establishment, step this way and lose the clothes please
Erm.. Is the whole purpose of patting down no to feel if there's something concealed? Kinda pointless if I'm starkers, nah?
I like to be sure!! Pat you down
....then pat you down naked, just incase. I take my job very seriously
You werni even hired! Yer just a perv! Where's the bouncer!?
Watching the glamourous assistants pat doon the punters "
Can pat you down behind the bar if you like |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"FFS. My bartender hasn't showed up for his shift, and the bouncer is being pat tested behind the bar by the wannabe bouncer. Shocking!
"
Its going to be a very very interesting night it seems |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
" please
See Pat Butcher. She's taken over drinks duties.
You called???
Aye. Turn the heating up, dawl. "
*turns heating to tropical* anything else sweetpea? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
" please
See Pat Butcher. She's taken over drinks duties.
You called???
Aye. Turn the heating up, dawl.
*turns heating to tropical* anything else sweetpea?
Do you do sex on the beach?"
Of course. Who would you like to have sex with? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Well time for me to leave as i am feeling drink is going to my head ,( sensible guy here ) so you all enjoy ur night and get well tore into that free drink . Early steamer leaves Bar  |
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" please
See Pat Butcher. She's taken over drinks duties.
You called???
Aye. Turn the heating up, dawl.
*turns heating to tropical* anything else sweetpea?
Do you do sex on the beach?
Of course. Who would you like to have sex with? "
Everyone? 
I just wanted a cocktail, though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
" please
See Pat Butcher. She's taken over drinks duties.
You called???
Aye. Turn the heating up, dawl.
*turns heating to tropical* anything else sweetpea?
Do you do sex on the beach?
Of course. Who would you like to have sex with?
Everyone?
I just wanted a cocktail, though. "
Oopsie my mistake, here's an extra large cocktail with umbrella and a cherry on a stick x |
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" please
See Pat Butcher. She's taken over drinks duties. sacked on my first night, Rude
Can I be Frank? It's a dynamic, ever-changing bar, dynamic. Don't worry - you'll still get paid. Infact - YOU be Frank and help Pat out! You mean i can stay?? "
The bouncer's gone AWOL again, and I'm a shitebag, so aye, go get a Butcher's at the clientele. Leave Pat to serve us. |
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" please
See Pat Butcher. She's taken over drinks duties. sacked on my first night, Rude
Can I be Frank? It's a dynamic, ever-changing bar, dynamic. Don't worry - you'll still get paid. Infact - YOU be Frank and help Pat out! You mean i can stay??
The bouncer's gone AWOL again, and I'm a shitebag, so aye, go get a Butcher's at the clientele. Leave Pat to serve us. "
Just been away checking the back alley gaffer, security precautions obvs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
" please
See Pat Butcher. She's taken over drinks duties. sacked on my first night, Rude
Can I be Frank? It's a dynamic, ever-changing bar, dynamic. Don't worry - you'll still get paid. Infact - YOU be Frank and help Pat out! You mean i can stay??
The bouncer's gone AWOL again, and I'm a shitebag, so aye, go get a Butcher's at the clientele. Leave Pat to serve us. "
I only wanted to be behind the bar to get close to dynamic |
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" please
See Pat Butcher. She's taken over drinks duties. sacked on my first night, Rude
Can I be Frank? It's a dynamic, ever-changing bar, dynamic. Don't worry - you'll still get paid. Infact - YOU be Frank and help Pat out! You mean i can stay??
The bouncer's gone AWOL again, and I'm a shitebag, so aye, go get a Butcher's at the clientele. Leave Pat to serve us.
Just been away checking the back alley gaffer, security precautions obvs "
That's anally attentive of you! Well done! Hope you shut the back door. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
" please
See Pat Butcher. She's taken over drinks duties. sacked on my first night, Rude
Can I be Frank? It's a dynamic, ever-changing bar, dynamic. Don't worry - you'll still get paid. Infact - YOU be Frank and help Pat out! You mean i can stay??
The bouncer's gone AWOL again, and I'm a shitebag, so aye, go get a Butcher's at the clientele. Leave Pat to serve us.
I only wanted to be behind the bar to get close to dynamic "
Oooofftt, its a tight squeeze behind this bar too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
" please
See Pat Butcher. She's taken over drinks duties. sacked on my first night, Rude
Can I be Frank? It's a dynamic, ever-changing bar, dynamic. Don't worry - you'll still get paid. Infact - YOU be Frank and help Pat out! You mean i can stay??
The bouncer's gone AWOL again, and I'm a shitebag, so aye, go get a Butcher's at the clientele. Leave Pat to serve us.
I only wanted to be behind the bar to get close to dynamic Oooofftt, its a tight squeeze behind this bar too "
I know and I like it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Are there nibbles??? Music??? Dance floor ???
Yes yes and yes...whats your music of choice?
Has to be "The bartender and the job thief" by the Stereophonics. So apt. "
I would be offended but I'm now squeezed inbetween dynamic and Nicole so I'm in my happy place right now  |
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"Thank you... I'll stand at the bar then an watch the tight squeeze going on...
Feel free to jump the bar always room for a little un x"
Hawd the bus, jumping the bar, thats a health and safety risk, wait for the lock in and dance on the bar instead |
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"Are there nibbles??? Music??? Dance floor ???
Yes yes and yes...whats your music of choice?
Has to be "The bartender and the job thief" by the Stereophonics. So apt.
I would be offended but I'm now squeezed inbetween dynamic and Nicole so I'm in my happy place right now "
Menage a trois by Alcazar is up next. There's £20 left in the jukebox. Help yersels |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Nuts! We only have nuts! Nuts only ladies!
Are yer nuts roasted? No Nik Naks or Cheesy Wotsits? I'll just have a small gin if the barman's about... He's Dancin, see above "
Tell him tae get back tae his work, then! One is thirsty...  |
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"Nuts! We only have nuts! Nuts only ladies!
Are yer nuts roasted? No Nik Naks or Cheesy Wotsits? I'll just have a small gin if the barman's about..."
Small gin ! You've changed, im sure it used to be by the bucket |
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"Nuts! We only have nuts! Nuts only ladies!
Are yer nuts roasted? No Nik Naks or Cheesy Wotsits? I'll just have a small gin if the barman's about..."
You couldn't handle my nuts! They're chilli, or at least the were until Pat turned the heating up. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Nuts! We only have nuts! Nuts only ladies!
Are yer nuts roasted? No Nik Naks or Cheesy Wotsits? I'll just have a small gin if the barman's about...
Small gin ! You've changed, im sure it used to be by the bucket "
Ahem....do I know you??? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"There's nuts everywhere....whats going on here ???
The lunatics have been overthrown! The asylum is back in order!"
Thank the lordy, I only went out back for 5 mins and the place is madness |
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"There's nuts everywhere....whats going on here ???
The lunatics have been overthrown! The asylum is back in order!
Thank the lordy, I only went out back for 5 mins and the place is madness"
Dae ah need to check out that back alley again |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"There's nuts everywhere....whats going on here ???
The lunatics have been overthrown! The asylum is back in order!
Thank the lordy, I only went out back for 5 mins and the place is madness
Dae ah need to check out that back alley again "
Yes. Shall I come with you |
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"There's nuts everywhere....whats going on here ???
The lunatics have been overthrown! The asylum is back in order!
Thank the lordy, I only went out back for 5 mins and the place is madness
Dae ah need to check out that back alley again
Yes. Shall I come with you "
Aye mon then, I need somebody to hold ma eh.... Hand  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Bejesus.....I only went and pulled so had to leave for a quick winch out the back Sorry folks drinks are enroute
I didn't mean that kinda sorting out ... I'll have a large brockmans please
K"
Served with a smile |
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"Bejesus.....I only went and pulled so had to leave for a quick winch out the back Sorry folks drinks are enroute
I didn't mean that kinda sorting out ... I'll have a large brockmans please
K
Served with a smile "
I bet your smiling
K |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Bejesus.....I only went and pulled so had to leave for a quick winch out the back Sorry folks drinks are enroute
I didn't mean that kinda sorting out ... I'll have a large brockmans please
K
Served with a smile
I bet your smiling
K"
Yes yes I am |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Thank you to the big spender who sent me a tray of cocktails
Ooh who is the admirer in the room.....send me some shots pretty please
Here you can have one of mine "
Thank you, im feeling the lurve in the room |
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"FFS cunni you need to be sorting your staff out 
K
Haw Ma wee fanny, I’ve a half bottle of vodka down my knickers, want a sip?
Thanks I've got mine on the way now, is your vodka flavoured?
K"
It’s vag flavoured now |
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"FFS cunni you need to be sorting your staff out
K
Haw Ma wee fanny, I’ve a half bottle of vodka down my knickers, want a sip?
Thanks I've got mine on the way now, is your vodka flavoured?
K
It’s vag flavoured now "
That's what I thought... pour me one
K |
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"FFS cunni you need to be sorting your staff out
K
Haw Ma wee fanny, I’ve a half bottle of vodka down my knickers, want a sip?
Thanks I've got mine on the way now, is your vodka flavoured?
K
It’s vag flavoured now
That's what I thought... pour me one
K"
Hahaha ya dirty bitch! |
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"It could have been a typo...
Lock in
LOL..... Dancers are still back stage... And not coming out until there made to feel welcome "
No prizes for guessing where my bartender and bouncer are, then. Pft. *Shakes heid* I'll probably need to review my recruitment process. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Are there nibbles??? Music??? Dance floor ???
Yes yes and yes...whats your music of choice?
Has to be "The bartender and the job thief" by the Stereophonics. So apt. "
Fuck yes...
Long digging
Gone fishing
Love drinking... |
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a nice red but they don’t do a red emoji (philistines!!!!!) 
