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Cyber Sex.......Gone Wrong

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By *muma OP   Woman  over a year ago

Livingston

Online computer users often engage in cyber sex. However, one of the two cyber-surfers in the following transcript doesn't seem to quite get the point of cyber sex.

Then again, maybe he does...

Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?

Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like?

Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds. I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from Walmart. I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner...it smells funny.

Sweetheart: I want you. Would you like to screw me?

Wellhung: OK

Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom. There's soft music playing on the stereo and candles on my dresser and night table. I'm looking up into your eyes, smiling. My hand works its way down to your crotch and begins to fondle your huge, swelling bulge.

Wellhung: I'm gulping, I'm beginning to sweat.

Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.

Wellhung: Now I'm unbuttoning your blouse. My hands are trembling.

Sweetheart: I'm moaning softly.

Wellhung: I'm taking hold of your blouse and sliding it off slowly.

Sweetheart: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure. The cool silk slides off my warm skin. I'm rubbing you bulge faster, pulling and rubbing.

Wellhung: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and accidentally rips a hole in your blouse. I'm sorry.

Sweetheart: That's OK, it wasn't really too expensive.

Wellhung: I'll pay for it.

Sweetheart: Don't worry about it. I'm wearing a lacy black bra. My soft breasts are rising and falling, as I breath harder and harder.

Wellhung: I'm fumbling with the clasp on your bra. I think it's stuck. Do you have any scissors?

Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly. I'm reaching back undoing the clasp. The bra slides off my body. The air caresses my breast. My nipples are erect for you.

Wellhung: How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra and inspecting the clasp.

Sweetheart: I'm arching my back. Oh baby. I just want to feel your tongue all over me.

Wellhung: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you know, breasts. They're neat!

Sweetheart: I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now I'm nibbling your ear.

Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breast are covered with spit and phlegm.

Sweetheart: What?

Wellhung: I'm so sorry; Really.

Sweetheart: I'm wiping your phlegm off my breasts with the remains of my blouse.

Wellhung: I'm taking the sopping wet blouse from you. I drop it with a plop.

Sweetheart: OK. I'm pulling your sweat pants down and rubbing your hard tool.

Wellhung: I'm screaming like a woman. Your hands are cold! Yeeee!

Sweetheart: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties.

Wellhung: I'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over, in and out nibbling on you...umm... wait a minute.

Sweetheart: What's the matter?

Wellhung: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm choking.

Sweetheart: Are you OK?

Wellhung: I'm having a coughing fit. I'm turning all red.

Sweetheart: Can I help?

Wellhung: I'm running to the kitchen, choking wildly. I'm fumbling through the cabinets, looking for a cup. Where do you keep your cups?

Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink.

Wellhung: I'm drinking a cup of water. There, that's better.

Sweetheart: Come back to me, lover.

Wellhung: I'm washing the cup now.

Sweetheart: I'm on the bed arching for you.

Wellhung: I'm drying the cup. Now I'm putting it back in the cabinet. And now I'm walking back to the bedroom. Wait, it's dark, I'm lost. Where's the bedroom?

Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hall.

Wellhung: I found it.

Sweetheart: I'm tuggin' off your pants. I'm moaning. I want you so badly.

Wellhung: Me too.

Sweetheart: Your pants are off. I kiss you passionately-our naked bodies pressing each other.

Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts.

Sweetheart Why don't you take off your glasses?

Wellhung: OK, but I can't see very well without them. I place the glasses on the night table.

Sweetheart: I'm bending over the bed. Give it to me, baby!

Wellhung: I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly across the room and toward the bathroom.

Sweetheart: Hurry back, lover.

Wellhung: I find the bathroom and it's dark. I'm feeling around for the toilet. I lift the lid.

Sweetheart: I'm waiting eagerly for your return.

Wellhung: I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the flush handle, but I can't find it. Uh-oh!

Sweetheart: What's the matter now?

Wellhung: I've realized that I've peed into your laundry hamper. Sorry again. I'm walking back to the bedroom now, blindly feeling my way.

Sweetheart: Mmm, yes. Come on.

Wellhung: OK, now I'm going to put my...you know ...thing...in your...you know...woman's thing.

Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, baby! Do it!

Wellhung: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. I kiss your neck. Umm, I'm having a little trouble here.

Sweetheart: I'm moving my ass back and forth, moaning. I can't stand it another second! Slide in! Screw me now!

Wellhung: I'm flaccid.

Sweetheart: What?

Wellhung: I'm limp. I can't sustain an erection.

Sweetheart: I'm standing up and turning around; an incredulous look on my face.

Wellhung: I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face, my wiener all floppy. I'm going to get my glasses and see what's wrong.

Sweetheart: No, never mind. I'm getting dressed. I'm putting on my underwear. Now I'm putting on my wet nasty blouse.

Wellhung: No wait! Now I'm squinting, trying to find the night table. I'm feeling along the dresser, knocking over cans of hair spray, picture frames and your candles.

Sweetheart: I'm buttoning my blouse. Now I'm putting on my shoes.

Wellhung: I've found my glasses. I'm putting them on. My God! One of your candles fell on the curtain. The curtain is on fire! I'm pointing at it, a shocked look on my face.

Sweetheart: Go to hell. I'm logging off, you loser!

Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire! Oh noooo!

Sweetheart:{logged off}

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By *eenonfun2Couple  over a year ago

Glasgow

haha, can see this being a movie now lol Mr Grey fucks up

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Lol....brtilliant lol

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

haha that was hilarious.. well done

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By *rcplCouple  over a year ago

here not there

That is brillant .

Really liked that

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Funniest thing ive read in ages, made me lol

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By *uirkygirlCouple  over a year ago

Quirkyville

lol love it!!!

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By *issNaughtyxxxWoman  over a year ago

Aberdeen

Lol, really funny. Great find Fmuma

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Haha brilliant

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By *uitar_antiheroMan  over a year ago

Glasgow

I was remembering that the other day bizarrely, loved reading it again!

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By *muma OP   Woman  over a year ago

Livingston


"I was remembering that the other day bizarrely, loved reading it again! "

we agreed I wouldn't call you sweetheart again!!!!

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By *uitar_antiheroMan  over a year ago

Glasgow


"I was remembering that the other day bizarrely, loved reading it again!

we agreed I wouldn't call you sweetheart again!!!!"

But I can still call you wellhung, right?

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By *muma OP   Woman  over a year ago

Livingston


"I was remembering that the other day bizarrely, loved reading it again!

we agreed I wouldn't call you sweetheart again!!!!

But I can still call you wellhung, right?"

just let me leave the specs on and don't light candles.

oh and sorry for wiping my cock on your curtains.... xx

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By *eatherWoman  over a year ago

glasgow

couldny stop laughing ya daft pait of feckers _muma u just wanted a fireman to climb up his

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By *uitar_antiheroMan  over a year ago

Glasgow


"I was remembering that the other day bizarrely, loved reading it again!

we agreed I wouldn't call you sweetheart again!!!!

But I can still call you wellhung, right?

just let me leave the specs on and don't light candles.

oh and sorry for wiping my cock on your curtains.... xx"

It's ok, I'll send you the cleaning bill. We need candles though, I've not paid the lecky bill

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By *muma OP   Woman  over a year ago

Livingston


"couldny stop laughing ya daft pait of feckers _muma u just wanted a fireman to climb up his "

Heather, you know me too well......

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By *olly Gentle GiantMan  over a year ago

Glenrothes

Trying so hard to retain a sense of decnrum on the commute home. But am pmsl lol lmao etc. I never knew _muma had a hard one.

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By *uitar_antiheroMan  over a year ago

Glasgow


"Trying so hard to retain a sense of decnrum on the commute home. But am pmsl lol lmao etc. I never knew _muma had a hard one. "

I like to think I'm the one who discovered it.....no....wait...

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