Help required!!!
Was on this scene for years in my youth but then moved away from it until a short time ago.
Having had a couple of meets recently, the age old question has again risen to the surface. I realise there are more rules involved to swinging than the proverbial Vicar's tea party but they seem to have changed in my absence!!
Is kissing on or not?
xxx (virtual ones don't count!!)  |
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"I reckon kissing is a vital part of foreplay although I recognise some couples save it as a 'between thenselves' activity - almost like the ultimate intimacy."
So would you bring it up before hand, i.e. define the "rules" before you went any further? xxx |
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"i cant understand how someone wouldnt want to kiss to be honest lol love it....
"
It broadsided me as well!! It was deemed to be "too intimate". Although when the comment "I wouldn't kiss a prostitute so why would I kiss you" was made I was tempted to deck the guy never mind kiss him! 
I think Jim made a valid point above that some couples feel it is the ultimate intimacy but I now find myself asking some rather straight questions before I meet people!! Kinda takes the edge off the fun element. xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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its really a grey area innit?
as for "wouldnt kiss a prostitute", i think its more likely that a prostitute wouldnt kiss you!!!
its defo an intimacy thing for them (i kno im generalising)
if it a boundary, it must be respected, thats why defining boundaries at the start reduces the chances of pressing buttons, but also, boundaries are often streched when the atmosphere is right.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i can understand why u wanted to deck the guy...jeez what a thing to say to someone
each to their own i suppose..not sure id feel comfortable not kissing...its just a natural thing to do ..well in my opinion anyway lol
but yes it would take the fun out of the meet asking these questions hun xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"but yes it would take the fun out of the meet asking these questions hun xx"
i agree, but there has to be a balance between respect and exploration.
personally, im up for it! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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not sure i would ask the question bout kissing to be honest lol prefer to find out at the time...but if they didnt kiss i wouldnt get as much out the met as i would if they did kiss...if that makes any sense at all lol
x
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"not sure i would ask the question bout kissing to be honest lol prefer to find out at the time...but if they didnt kiss i wouldnt get as much out the met as i would if they did kiss...if that makes any sense at all lol
x
"
makes perfect sense and i agree.
i wsnt inplying goin thru a list at the start! what a turn off, but just askin if theres anything they dont want to do.
hopefully the answers "nope" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"always ask what are likes and dislikes...guess its up to the person to say lol
much prefer the answers to the likes though lol"
yeah, thats the conversation we'd all prefer! |
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"always ask what are likes and dislikes...guess its up to the person to say lol
much prefer the answers to the likes though lol"
That's exactly what made the no kissing request so bizarre, some of their likes even opened my eyes and I'm no shrinking violet!! lol
Discussed it with hubby this morning and he did admit that he sometimes gets a tiny bit uncomfortable when I kiss other people. BUT considering what he is usually doing in the same room he realises that it's a totally irrational thought and locks it away to the back of his mind. xxx |
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"not sure i would ask the question bout kissing to be honest lol prefer to find out at the time...but if they didnt kiss i wouldnt get as much out the met as i would if they did kiss...if that makes any sense at all lol
x
makes perfect sense and i agree.
i wsnt inplying goin thru a list at the start! what a turn off, but just askin if theres anything they dont want to do.
hopefully the answers "nope""
Been there, done that!!! One, not to be mentioned couple, turned up for a social meet with something that was about the size of an insurance questionnaire!! After I stopped laughing they ripped it up!! Turned out it was their first meet, I felt kinda guilty for a nanosecond. That was years ago and we still keep in touch, they turned out to be one of the sexiest couples I've ever had the pleasure of partying with!!  xxx |
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"I reckon kissing is a vital part of foreplay although I recognise some couples save it as a 'between thenselves' activity - almost like the ultimate intimacy.
So would you bring it up before hand, i.e. define the "rules" before you went any further? xxx"
That's a tricky one. I don't think I'd ask for a hard and fast answer about it in advance (in the way you'd want a hard and fast answer about condoms for example) but it'd become pretty obvious quite soon one way or the other.
I'd like to think the trick from the point of view of the one who didn't want kissing would be to be subtle about it. Something like gently turning her head away or directing his lips elsewhere.
A few years back I wrote a 'things to consider when planning a threesome' for a couple I knew were keen to experiment. I told them all the sensible stuff about condoms, choosing whether to play on the floor or in their marital bed etc but didn't mention kissing and the feedback was that all went well expect the lady of the couple didn't want her partner kissing the extra woman. Everything else was acceptable but not kissing.
Each to their own, eh?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"God YES to kissing!
Cant take away such an essential and sensual part of life and enjoyment!"
no kisses no legover simple but i suppose for couples its understandable!!
had one meet who didnt kiss and tbh i felt a bit degraded as i felt like an unpaid prostitute!
so note to all potential meets lol!! xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Whoever that meet was is a bit of a twat to be honset!!!
How could he not kiss?
I could pardon someone for fating in the bed, but not kissing? - it would be sling yer hook time! LOL  "
my point exactly!! i asked if i had bad breath somethin in my teeth etc said no just didnt like kissin swingin partners needless to say it was a never again!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Find the no kissing a strange one but each to their own........you can kiss, lick, suck anywhere else but just not my mouth.
Personally i love a good kiss it gets everything going in my eyes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No Kissing?? sorry does not compute lol
Each to their own obviously but I really wouldn't know what to do if I couldn't kiss on a meet , I dare say I wouldn't meet anyone who doesn't kiss ..and on that note here's a virtual one for you all mwuahhhhhhh |
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By *ubgla KhanMan
over a year ago
Scotland and on my travels |
"Whoever that meet was is a bit of a twat to be honset!!!
How could he not kiss?
I could pardon someone for fating in the bed, but not kissing? - it would be sling yer hook time! LOL
my point exactly!! i asked if i had bad breath somethin in my teeth etc said no just didnt like kissin swingin partners needless to say it was a never again!!! "
So thats No, Nay, Never!
No, Nay, Never, No more!
Will I kiss a wild Rover,
No Never, No more!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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All this no kissing harks back to prostitution. Prostitutes sold their bodies and kept their kisses as the one intimacy left to them with their partners. So I'm sorry but if someone refused to kiss me I'd feel as used as a prostitute and would say so... then be off like a shot. No need to take offence to this, it's only my personal opinion.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No kissing" is usually a couple thing, and as always it's their choice, but personally I'd find it too clinical and "no kissing" would be a no no for me.
If it was a single stating it then I'm afraid I'd find that very weird! Kissing is a major if not essential part of foreplay, imho, really gets you going!! lolol |
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My kisses have a habit of capturing peoples attentions lol once kissed by me and it's never forgotten...been told my kisses are soo good they can't wait for the rest
I'll take a compliment when i get one (which isn't very often)
When I was actually meeting for about 2 yrs kissing was in....didn't actually meet anyone who didn't kiss :S would be a bit weird if there wasn't, isn't kissing part of the foreplay and teasing??? |
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