FabSwingers.com > Forums > Scotland > Into trans but not men
Into trans but not men
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By *innett OP Man
over a year ago
scotland |
So just a question I've been having this discussion with people about sexuality. And one question that was asked in our chat is. If you were sexualy attracted to a transgender woman/man who still had her male genitalia and you enjoyed that. But found no sexual attracted to males at all.. would that make you bisexual or what would you class it as ? To me bisexuality is being attracted to both males and females.. im personally not sure how I would glass the above mentioned |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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By no means I'm right but me personally think if a guy is willing to have any sexual contact with another guy with his genitals intact he's at least bi.if the said guy was fully transgender then that's a different ballgame..no pun  |
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By *innett OP Man
over a year ago
scotland |
Well there are still people transitioning. And of course some transgender look like a woman and breast implants but still have there cocks. And enjoy it that way. Thats the kind of thing I am speaking about
Now if it was a full transgender who even had there genitals changed to fit there gender norm then I'd still say the person is straight not bi |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I stand by my opinion if the guy still has his bits your bi.
No straight guy would let another guy with his own bits touch him.can call yourself straight if you like..but you aint lol.
Not that there's anything wrong with being either I may add |
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Not trans so cant really be sure I'm using correct terms and language regarding this but i think sex and gender are two different things.
Sex is whats between your legs and gender is whats between your ears
A transman may have a vagina, and a transwoman may have a penis.
Some people choose to modify their outward appearance to match how they feel inside others do not
People who refer to themselves as transwoman and have a penis really don't appreciate being called a guy just because they haven't had a bit of skin and tissue removed. Also its not really up to us to decide who is a guy or if a guy is straight or bi /pan just because they touch penises.
You like what you like, along as we are all respectful and kind human beings labels don't have to matter too much in regards to if you or someone else classifies you gay or straight or bi. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As a transwoman (awaiting surgery) my penarth worth.
My own view is that gender is what you feel- as previous comment says - what is in your mind
Sex - is what is (in blunt terms) what is between your legs
Sexuality - your sexual preference.
I know many will agree and many will disagree - some men are born with vaginas; some women are born with penises.
I guess perhaps to answer the OP is to ask what defines a person? Is it their gender or is it their sex/genitalia? Or both? Or something else?
Personally speaking as a pansexual - whether a person is or is not trans does really matter to me. Its personality that matters to me.
As I say some will agree some will agree. Important thing is we all respect each other's view.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't know if the OP is asking about transgender wording think he wants clarification whether a straight guy having sex with a person still with a penis would be classed as bi straight or gay.
I think lol |
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By *innett OP Man
over a year ago
scotland |
Close enough yeah.
The topic that came up is this. Someone mentioned in our chat whilst generally talking about things and said they like dick basically just not on the male form. On a transgender woman who is feminine has breasts. Definines themselves as a woman/transwoman but still has there cock they enjoy that.
But they have absaloutly no sexual attraction to the male form or men in any single way. They wouldn't go down on a man. Go in a relationship with a man or have any sort of sexual interiors with a man they just arnt intrested or aroused by males |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For me, it's far too simplistic to say dick = bi.
The obsession that people have with having to label a person is something I just don't get. Human beings are a thousand shades of grey, which is why I like that the term pansexual exists.
In the very specific situation described by the OP I wouldn't conclude that someone is bi - there is too much emphasis on attraction being linked to what is considered a female "form". Also attraction and what we find sexually arousing are also not mutually exclusive.
everyone will have an opinion, some of those opinions will even go against medical science  So I find it best to self define, because quite frankly nobody else knows another person as well as that individual knows themselves.
Fab straight, and touching a dick automatically makes you bi are all over simplistic terms and one's that are to make someone else feel comfortable (even if it's at another's discomfort, or at odds with someone's self definition) |
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"For me, it's far too simplistic to say dick = bi.
The obsession that people have with having to label a person is something I just don't get. Human beings are a thousand shades of grey, which is why I like that the term pansexual exists.
In the very specific situation described by the OP I wouldn't conclude that someone is bi - there is too much emphasis on attraction being linked to what is considered a female "form". Also attraction and what we find sexually arousing are also not mutually exclusive.
everyone will have an opinion, some of those opinions will even go against medical science So I find it best to self define, because quite frankly nobody else knows another person as well as that individual knows themselves.
Fab straight, and touching a dick automatically makes you bi are all over simplistic terms and one's that are to make someone else feel comfortable (even if it's at another's discomfort, or at odds with someone's self definition) "
What a post, take a bow.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For me, it's far too simplistic to say dick = bi.
The obsession that people have with having to label a person is something I just don't get. Human beings are a thousand shades of grey, which is why I like that the term pansexual exists.
In the very specific situation described by the OP I wouldn't conclude that someone is bi - there is too much emphasis on attraction being linked to what is considered a female "form". Also attraction and what we find sexually arousing are also not mutually exclusive.
everyone will have an opinion, some of those opinions will even go against medical science So I find it best to self define, because quite frankly nobody else knows another person as well as that individual knows themselves.
Fab straight, and touching a dick automatically makes you bi are all over simplistic terms and one's that are to make someone else feel comfortable (even if it's at another's discomfort, or at odds with someone's self definition) "
I couldn't agree more . Very elequantly put . Bravo |
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By *mmixtapeCouple
over a year ago
middle earth |
Hey so as an LGBTQ+ Educator I get asked this a lot.
The first thing that I'd normally teach if that your body doesn't have to meet any criteria for your gender identity. As a whole the trans community don't go around declaring their trans status and they shouldn't have to.
A transman if someone who was assigned female at birth, who now identifies as male.
A transwoman is someone who was assigned male at birth and identifies as female.
But it's not linear. Trans people do not have to go through medical transition to identify themselves with their gender identity, so some transmen may choose to not have top or bottom surgery, or even take hormones, these people are still trans men.
So regardless of what someone's body, their parts in their pants, if someone tells you they are a woman, then they are a woman, regardless of if they have a penis because having a penis does not make you a man.
To answer your question OP, if you're only attracted to trans women regardless of what is in their pants, you as a cisgender man would be straight. If you're also interested in the genitals of people who identify as male then id say go for bisexual.
Pansexual normally means what you don't care about anything to do with someone's gender identity but about their personality first, not just a catch all for wobbly sexualities. I'd recommend looking into some sexualities and see what sounds right for you.
Mr mix goes with bi-curious on here because he is attracted to all women, including trans women but also is attracted to non-binary people, and wants to explore his attraction to men. It's hard to find the right word to describe what you're into sometimes, but unless you're worried about not having the right label I'd say don't worry too much about them. |
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Thanks to those of you who took the time to explain this far more eloquently than I would have.
Some trans people don’t want gender reassignment surgery or HRT. Genitals don’t equal gender. Trans men are men. Trans women are women. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ammixtape has got it spot on.
As a pansexual cis man who has had trans man lovers in the past for me I find the person attractive first and foremost and however they present and whatever genitals the do or do not have is really irrelevant.
The most important thing is don’t let anyone tell you what they think you are. Plenty folks will try...as you have already seen and as I have experienced.
Especially those who don’t exactly have a smidgeon of any education on the subject. They can’t wait to tell you what they think you are.
Ignore them. You are you. And enjoy your journey. |
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Im astounded. Is this fab’s Scotland contingent finally saying “trans and NB rights”?
To echo others, I opened this thread fearing the worst, but have been very pleasantly surprised at the maturity and sensitivity on show!
I’m away now to watch a dirty movie or something equally base to get my mind back in the gutter where it belongs. |
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"Ammixtape has got it spot on.
As a pansexual cis man who has had trans man lovers in the past for me I find the person attractive first and foremost and however they present and whatever genitals the do or do not have is really irrelevant.
The most important thing is don’t let anyone tell you what they think you are. Plenty folks will try...as you have already seen and as I have experienced.
Especially those who don’t exactly have a smidgeon of any education on the subject. They can’t wait to tell you what they think you are.
Ignore them. You are you. And enjoy your journey."
by smidgeon of education you mean agree with my thoughts or your dumb?
Here's one from a past thread
I identify as a venusian..... What do you mean you identify as an alien your human...... Who decided that..... You present as a human..... So what I'm a shapeshifting venusian.
It's acceptable for an individual to see themselves as they please what's not OK is to try and force that thought through as fact and force others to conform to it.
By the same token you can't call folk dumb for believing their own thoughts on the matter |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For me, it's far too simplistic to say dick = bi.
The obsession that people have with having to label a person is something I just don't get. Human beings are a thousand shades of grey, which is why I like that the term pansexual exists.
In the very specific situation described by the OP I wouldn't conclude that someone is bi - there is too much emphasis on attraction being linked to what is considered a female "form". Also attraction and what we find sexually arousing are also not mutually exclusive.
everyone will have an opinion, some of those opinions will even go against medical science So I find it best to self define, because quite frankly nobody else knows another person as well as that individual knows themselves.
Fab straight, and touching a dick automatically makes you bi are all over simplistic terms and one's that are to make someone else feel comfortable (even if it's at another's discomfort, or at odds with someone's self definition) "
i would agree but i think the problem stems from them trying to find a box they fit into (as have said they also don’t regard themselves as pansexual either)
i can understand why people feel a desire to “belong” to a group or term but its all so fluid that i also struggle with why they would tie themselves in knots trying to find a label that fits... can’t they just say what they like to people they like and to hell with what anyone else thinks
also for the record the scenario described sounds to me similar to someone that likes a woman with a realistic looking strap on... and we all jump to defend that as not bi as butt stuff doesn’t define sexuality |
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By *mmixtapeCouple
over a year ago
middle earth |
"
It's acceptable for an individual to see themselves as they please what's not OK is to try and force that thought through as fact and force others to conform to it."
Actually, if someone you even perceive someone to be transgender (as in they don't even need to be trans for you to still be breaking the law) and treat them differently because of this, if you go out of your way to misgender someone and bully them for their gender identity
even if you hide your behaviour behind holding a different belief system you'ree breaching the equality act and depending on how bad you offend you could see yourself facing court  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
It's acceptable for an individual to see themselves as they please what's not OK is to try and force that thought through as fact and force others to conform to it.
Actually, if someone you even perceive someone to be transgender (as in they don't even need to be trans for you to still be breaking the law) and treat them differently because of this, if you go out of your way to misgender someone and bully them for their gender identity
even if you hide your behaviour behind holding a different belief system you'ree breaching the equality act and depending on how bad you offend you could see yourself facing court "
you can see from my earlier post im all for trans rights snd people just choosing themselves where they are on the various gender / sexuality spectrums ,
but the poster you quoted hasn’t actually mentioned treating people differently or bullying them , he’s literally just said you have your thoughts ill have mine, you do you and ill do me ... going in heavy handed with how you think people are breaking the law just gets peoples backs up , they jump on the defensive and we have more divide ... we can and should police peoples behaviour, their internal thoughts however are entirely their own |
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"
It's acceptable for an individual to see themselves as they please what's not OK is to try and force that thought through as fact and force others to conform to it.
Actually, if someone you even perceive someone to be transgender (as in they don't even need to be trans for you to still be breaking the law) and treat them differently because of this, if you go out of your way to misgender someone and bully them for their gender identity
even if you hide your behaviour behind holding a different belief system you'ree breaching the equality act and depending on how bad you offend you could see yourself facing court "
wrong a person's thoughts are just that theirs you cannot force anyone to agree with another's thoughts |
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"
It's acceptable for an individual to see themselves as they please what's not OK is to try and force that thought through as fact and force others to conform to it.
Actually, if someone you even perceive someone to be transgender (as in they don't even need to be trans for you to still be breaking the law) and treat them differently because of this, if you go out of your way to misgender someone and bully them for their gender identity
even if you hide your behaviour behind holding a different belief system you'ree breaching the equality act and depending on how bad you offend you could see yourself facing court wrong a person's thoughts are just that theirs you cannot force anyone to agree with another's thoughts"
When that person writes those thoughts down and ‘published’ them - even in a forum on a saucy website - they cease being ‘just thoughts’ and become actions. |
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By *mmixtapeCouple
over a year ago
middle earth |
"
It's acceptable for an individual to see themselves as they please what's not OK is to try and force that thought through as fact and force others to conform to it.
Actually, if someone you even perceive someone to be transgender (as in they don't even need to be trans for you to still be breaking the law) and treat them differently because of this, if you go out of your way to misgender someone and bully them for their gender identity
even if you hide your behaviour behind holding a different belief system you'ree breaching the equality act and depending on how bad you offend you could see yourself facing court wrong a person's thoughts are just that theirs you cannot force anyone to agree with another's thoughts"
Correct, your thoughts are your own. But even if you fundamentally disagree with transgender people, if you take any action on that it's directly against the equality act. |
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"
It's acceptable for an individual to see themselves as they please what's not OK is to try and force that thought through as fact and force others to conform to it.
Actually, if someone you even perceive someone to be transgender (as in they don't even need to be trans for you to still be breaking the law) and treat them differently because of this, if you go out of your way to misgender someone and bully them for their gender identity
even if you hide your behaviour behind holding a different belief system you'ree breaching the equality act and depending on how bad you offend you could see yourself facing court wrong a person's thoughts are just that theirs you cannot force anyone to agree with another's thoughts
When that person writes those thoughts down and ‘published’ them - even in a forum on a saucy website - they cease being ‘just thoughts’ and become actions. "
pmsl no they become voicing your opinions and stating your viewpoint.
All the way through this thread there's only one Set of opinion givers threatening action because their view won't be agteed on.
At no point have I said my aim is to bully oppress or hold against anyone they're right to view things as they want but you simply cannot force everyone else to comply with it.
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"
It's acceptable for an individual to see themselves as they please what's not OK is to try and force that thought through as fact and force others to conform to it.
Actually, if someone you even perceive someone to be transgender (as in they don't even need to be trans for you to still be breaking the law) and treat them differently because of this, if you go out of your way to misgender someone and bully them for their gender identity
even if you hide your behaviour behind holding a different belief system you'ree breaching the equality act and depending on how bad you offend you could see yourself facing court wrong a person's thoughts are just that theirs you cannot force anyone to agree with another's thoughts
Correct, your thoughts are your own. But even if you fundamentally disagree with transgender people, if you take any action on that it's directly against the equality act. "
it's not about transgender people it's about equality for all.
I'm not even going to enter into the hypocrisy of that I stand by my words if you like jita and dick your bi not an infinite amount of self assigned titles you want to force others to use |
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By *innett OP Man
over a year ago
scotland |
"Not attracted to anyone with a dick.
Mr"
Firstly just mentioning this... this was not the point of conversation. No one was asking you or anyone if they where. You clearly havnt read any of the prior messages
Also to everyone else this has been some fantastic reading and great veiw points from everyone. Not going to lie was a bit nervous when I had seen 37 comments on the post was expecting the worst outcome !
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By *innett OP Man
over a year ago
scotland |
"
It's acceptable for an individual to see themselves as they please what's not OK is to try and force that thought through as fact and force others to conform to it.
Actually, if someone you even perceive someone to be transgender (as in they don't even need to be trans for you to still be breaking the law) and treat them differently because of this, if you go out of your way to misgender someone and bully them for their gender identity
even if you hide your behaviour behind holding a different belief system you'ree breaching the equality act and depending on how bad you offend you could see yourself facing court wrong a person's thoughts are just that theirs you cannot force anyone to agree with another's thoughts
Correct, your thoughts are your own. But even if you fundamentally disagree with transgender people, if you take any action on that it's directly against the equality act. it's not about transgender people it's about equality for all.
I'm not even going to enter into the hypocrisy of that I stand by my words if you like jita and dick your bi not an infinite amount of self assigned titles you want to force others to use"
But if your standing there saying if you like dick your bi.. your standing there forcing a self assigned title onto someone else ? But how can you call someone bi if they are not sexualy attracted to both men and women? As that is the definition of being bisexual |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
It's acceptable for an individual to see themselves as they please what's not OK is to try and force that thought through as fact and force others to conform to it.
Actually, if someone you even perceive someone to be transgender (as in they don't even need to be trans for you to still be breaking the law) and treat them differently because of this, if you go out of your way to misgender someone and bully them for their gender identity
even if you hide your behaviour behind holding a different belief system you'ree breaching the equality act and depending on how bad you offend you could see yourself facing court wrong a person's thoughts are just that theirs you cannot force anyone to agree with another's thoughts
Correct, your thoughts are your own. But even if you fundamentally disagree with transgender people, if you take any action on that it's directly against the equality act. it's not about transgender people it's about equality for all.
I'm not even going to enter into the hypocrisy of that I stand by my words if you like jita and dick your bi not an infinite amount of self assigned titles you want to force others to use"
you undid your previous point kola by telling people they now need to define themselves by your interpretation |
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"
It's acceptable for an individual to see themselves as they please what's not OK is to try and force that thought through as fact and force others to conform to it.
Actually, if someone you even perceive someone to be transgender (as in they don't even need to be trans for you to still be breaking the law) and treat them differently because of this, if you go out of your way to misgender someone and bully them for their gender identity
even if you hide your behaviour behind holding a different belief system you'ree breaching the equality act and depending on how bad you offend you could see yourself facing court wrong a person's thoughts are just that theirs you cannot force anyone to agree with another's thoughts
Correct, your thoughts are your own. But even if you fundamentally disagree with transgender people, if you take any action on that it's directly against the equality act. it's not about transgender people it's about equality for all.
I'm not even going to enter into the hypocrisy of that I stand by my words if you like jita and dick your bi not an infinite amount of self assigned titles you want to force others to use
But if your standing there saying if you like dick your bi.. your standing there forcing a self assigned title onto someone else ? But how can you call someone bi if they are not sexualy attracted to both men and women? As that is the definition of being bisexual "
er clues in they want jita and dick as I said if you want to have infinite titles that's on you though you don't get to forcibly make folk adhere to your viewpoint |
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"
It's acceptable for an individual to see themselves as they please what's not OK is to try and force that thought through as fact and force others to conform to it.
Actually, if someone you even perceive someone to be transgender (as in they don't even need to be trans for you to still be breaking the law) and treat them differently because of this, if you go out of your way to misgender someone and bully them for their gender identity
even if you hide your behaviour behind holding a different belief system you'ree breaching the equality act and depending on how bad you offend you could see yourself facing court wrong a person's thoughts are just that theirs you cannot force anyone to agree with another's thoughts
Correct, your thoughts are your own. But even if you fundamentally disagree with transgender people, if you take any action on that it's directly against the equality act. it's not about transgender people it's about equality for all.
I'm not even going to enter into the hypocrisy of that I stand by my words if you like jita and dick your bi not an infinite amount of self assigned titles you want to force others to use
you undid your previous point kola by telling people they now need to define themselves by your interpretation "
no by the accepted norms of society.
as I said its weird that some want to make everyone agree to their infinite titles but want to draw a line at claiming your a pony or an alien.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This whole thread is dehumanising and gross.
Why does it even matter what label you fit into? Transgender women are just women trying to get on with their lives.
The last thing we need is men fetishising us and then pulling the “am I gay?” card on us, aka basically backhandly saying “your a dude that looks like a lady”
No, we are trans women. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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And the reason why I think this thread is gross, is because you have essentially invited a bunch of people who aren’t trans nor have any idea what being trans is and now they are giving their ignorant two cents in and now you are all debating a subject none of you are experienced, educated or have any idea what you are talking about. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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But to answer question: who cares, nearly everyone at some point experiments sexually. So try not to get caught up in what boxes you fit into and concentrate on doing the things you like and what bring you happiness. Be around people you find attractive, and care less about what others think. It’s 2021, this shit belongs back in the 2000s.
As long as you’re not a beast then you have nothing to worry about. |
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By *anny77Man
over a year ago
glasgow |
I just think you feel what you feel and you like who you like and if you’re fine with it and you’re not hurting anyone then it’s all good!
Some people will label you bi and some people won’t and that’s probably more their issue than yours.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And the reason why I think this thread is gross, is because you have essentially invited a bunch of people who aren’t trans nor have any idea what being trans is and now they are giving their ignorant two cents in and now you are all debating a subject none of you are experienced, educated or have any idea what you are talking about. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And the reason why I think this thread is gross, is because you have essentially invited a bunch of people who aren’t trans nor have any idea what being trans is and now they are giving their ignorant two cents in and now you are all debating a subject none of you are experienced, educated or have any idea what you are talking about. "
there has been very little ignorance on the thread, and plenty people who clearly from reading their posts are educated responding
how can you say in one post a trans woman is just a woman and follow it up with if you aren’t trans an attempt to discuss trans issues is gross ... the 2 ideas are entirely contradictory... you either want inclusion or you want exclusivity?
telling people they cant discuss what they don’t have direct experience of is how we stay in the dark ages .. on any subject matter
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By *innett OP Man
over a year ago
scotland |
"And the reason why I think this thread is gross, is because you have essentially invited a bunch of people who aren’t trans nor have any idea what being trans is and now they are giving their ignorant two cents in and now you are all debating a subject none of you are experienced, educated or have any idea what you are talking about.
there has been very little ignorance on the thread, and plenty people who clearly from reading their posts are educated responding
how can you say in one post a trans woman is just a woman and follow it up with if you aren’t trans an attempt to discuss trans issues is gross ... the 2 ideas are entirely contradictory... you either want inclusion or you want exclusivity?
telling people they cant discuss what they don’t have direct experience of is how we stay in the dark ages .. on any subject matter
"
I have alot of great responses from people in my dms and a few not great ones.. you really can't please everyone... honestly I could post a thread about cheese and you would get people hating on it |
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By *lair101TV/TS
over a year ago
Aberdeen, westhill |
If you are attracted to the feminine, you are straight. If you are attreacted to men who look like men and biological women, you are bi.
Grey areas.... Some trans women are still in transition, and may not be able to get hard. Or, they do not want a guy to touch their penis. They could look very feminine, be well into transition, and a guy who dates them would not be bi in my opinion.
If you are attracted to trans only because you want to suck their willy... You are pretty bi.
I think it's more about femininity. Straight guys are not attracted to the masculine. Would want to be with another guy or anyone giving off masculine cues. If you look, sound, act feminine... You give off cues that attract straight guys. Willy or no willy.
It would be insane to say that a guy dating a trans woman who looks very feminine, and has had surgery, is bi or gay in any way.
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