This is the first part by a guy from facebook, not sure if I can post his website up here or not, will check later, but enjoy! It's a fun wee read at least. L x
Just left the dole ( managed to keep my benefits for another two weeks )The Loan
I applied for last week just came in , £2000 and its the weekend so only means
one thing , Am Going to get mad with it eh. But first am going to hit those
shops behind St James Centre , you know the one's where they sell all the posh
shit. Am going to be looking the part and going to try get m...y self a wee bird eh.
Wish a had money like
this all the time likes , the birds that work in these shops are far better than
the wee slags you get in ma scheme in muirhouse likes but the dole is easy money
so a will stick with that for a bit longer eh.
Cunts in muirhouse will
think a have won the lotto when a jump out my taxi with all this gear but am no
bothering as am having fun man. So as the taxi pulls up out side my palace
that's when I see her. The wee lassie av had my eyes on for the last few months.
She's wairing that red reebok hoody that a like. ( av got the urge to bend her
over now and just take her from behind but I control myself) She's got her wee
staffie patch with her which a hate , it bit ma leg the other day there down at
the shops and a can't be fecked with it. She's got a bottle of bucky aswell man
, she's like an angel been sent by god , a canni Slater for that likes , turns
me right on eh.
A get out the taxi and shout her over , a ask her if
she's going up the town the night as she takes a swig of her bucky. She says " a
duno where am going as am a bit skint so will probs go a party then broke eh ".
A thought to my self as a had a swig of her bucky " nah we can't be having that
, your coming the town with me the night eh , meet you at shandwicks for 9pm eh?
" She said " aye nai bother " As a walked away from her a knew a was getting my
hole the night eh.
Before I went into my flat a checked to see if
johnny's van was in his space and it was. A thought all my days came at once eh.
A tapd on his door and walked in. He knew when he seen me that a was after some
of his special sweets. A got 60 and a was on my way to mine.
The moment
a got in the front door the mother was on my case " did you get a job then you
lazy cun*!! " A said " nah mum , they had jack shi* for me " and that was it. A
dumped all my gear in ma room and took a few of the e's. Tonight was the night
that a get to bang that wee miden , nothing was stopping me but I have a back up
plan just incase eh....
A started to phone round some of the lads and
told them what a had plus the plans for the night and to get round quick eh. Av
got an hour or so to chill before the lads get here so a get the mother to iron
my brand new g-star t-shirt and jeans eh.
The door goes and its Mike ,
Alex , Chris , Nivag and Nahbu. I don't really get on with Nivag and Nahbu but
they brought tennants with them so its all good. Mike's telling me of the girl
he is going to smash in tonight after town and am thinking to myself " hope she
isn't like that bird fai niddrie he done in last week as he got an STD from her
and it was a nasty one eh. "
Nivag gives me a can of tennats and says
to me when no one else is listening " Nahbu hasn't done e's before " well that
just set the clock working in ma heed eh. When nahbu wastn looking a put 4 e's
in his can... This wee cun* is going to be of his head soon.
We've went
through all our supplies so its time to hit shandwicks , we want to get there
for 7 so we can watch all the dirys walk in ( haven't told the lads about the
wee miden am meeting yet as a don't want them to wind me up eh )
About
an hour of being in shandwicks a bunch of girls come in , a notice one of them ,
she's the biggest slag in muirhouse. ( a got told the other day there that she
got pumped by 5 guys down at the bucketshoots at the flats) Chris licked his
lips , rubbed his hands together like he had just hit the jackpot. He said " al
have that tonight "
Nivag comes back moaning about the toilets while
Alex is at the bar getting a few pints and some j-bombs. Nuhbu is showing Chris
a picture of some munter that sent him a fan pic through bbm , the only good
thing about her is that she has great tits eh.
Well it was nearly 9 eh
so a jumped out side for a fag and a chat wai the door stewards and there she
was , wairing a tight wee black dress... Well a got a hard on right there and
then eh. Some one was wanting a ride the night like. Feck me a said to her. She
laughed and said " she will have a double vodka and . " Some one wants to
get steaming the night a said eh.
The night was in full swing now like
, the drink was flowing , the slags where dancing and nuhbu was being sick in
the toilets. A said to nivag what a had done wai the e's and kinda regretted it
but can't do nowt anout it now eh. 11pm came and a said to the lass " shall we
hit the club now eh " and she said " aye " She was half tipsy already , am in
for it the night a thought.
So we walked around the corner to george
street with the lads behind us wai some wee dirtys they managed to gran in
shandwicks. When we got on george street it felt like being back in the scheme
as every cun* was there. We bumped into a few people we knew from pilton and
niddrie in the que to the club and they said " the whole scheme's are out the
night. " Everyone must have been paid fai the dole.
As we get in the
club we head straight to the back near the dance floor and we see some wee bird
getting frisky with a guy , her hands are down his jeans which means one thing..
He's getting a ham shank. A leave the lass for a bit to get some drinks and she
is wanting to dance. A said " am no a good dancer but a will give it a shot " (
a thought , if a do this then she will be all smitten and want a piece the night
)
Its the back of 2 now and nivag and nahbu have been chucked out for
trying to sell straws to the bar staff and chris is looking like he's about to
fight with the wall. A look to ma left and see mike and alex chatting up the two
birds fai last week , They Have STD and Baby Plastered all over them but a said
" feck it , there choice. " A say to the bird " let's get out of here "
We're standing waiting for a taxi and she syas she still has 2 bottles of
bucky back at hers and if a want to go back. A said " what about your parents?"
She said there out so a was like aye eh!!
We are all over each other
in the taxi like two dogs in heat. A put ma hand up her dress to find she has
nothing on. So a start rubbing her clit and she starts to moan. She whispers "
Not now , Taxi driver " but a kept going , a wanted her in the mood for what was
still to happen.
A gave the taxi driver a tip as he didn't mentioned
what just happened in the back , as a gave him the money he winked at me and
said " good on ya son. "
So we get into her flat , nice wee pad , full
of pictures of her and her family. A ask her to lock her dog in the kitchen as a
would kick it in the jaw if it trys to go for me agen eh. So she takes me into
her room where the bottles of bucky are and we start to down it. She puts some
pishy music on but am noth bothering. Am just thinking of the music we will be
making soon.
We started to kiss and a quicky put my hand back up her
dress , a wasn't waiting around like eh. She un buttons ma jeans and pulls them
off. A push her back eh and start to eat her out. After a while of her making
some dodgy noise's a turn her over and start to take her fai behind. A could
hear the dog going mental in the kitchen because of the noise's she was making
but a didn't give a feck eh a was getting ma hole and nai wee staffie was
denying me it. After a while a shot ma load in her face , a sat down and sparked
a fag and gave her one. At this moment , I knew I got what I wanted , this was
the life , this was... 50 Shade's Of Edinburgh....
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Good effort lol
mao