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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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The European Commission has announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU, rather than German, which was the other contender. Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had room for improvement and has therefore accepted a five-year phasing in of "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make sivil servants jump for joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the "k", Which should klear up some konfusion and allow one key less on keyboards.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f", making words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e" is disgrasful.
By the fourth yer, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and everivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer. ZE DREM VIL FINALI COM TRU!
Herr Schmidt
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"The European Commission has announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU, rather than German, which was the other contender. Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had room for improvement and has therefore accepted a five-year phasing in of "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make sivil servants jump for joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the "k", Which should klear up some konfusion and allow one key less on keyboards.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f", making words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e" is disgrasful.
By the fourth yer, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and everivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer. ZE DREM VIL FINALI COM TRU!
Herr Schmidt
"
I think the original joke was about the creation of Germlish. I first saw this joke about 15 or 20 years ago but a pretty good resurrection of an old classic.  or zuld zat be zum?
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"Rules are simple only jokes or funnies, no arguing .
"
"Brexit would be great for the travel industry" Boris Johnson
23rd September 2019: 9000 jobs gone in one night after Thomas Cook (travel firm) reported 1.5bln loss for the first half of 2019. Thre British company has closed 21 of its stores, and 561 more stores could be closed as well.
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Brexit seems a lot like elephants reproducing:
First there's a lot if noise and stomping about. No one can tell if that's had any effect and even some years later we're waiting for the final result. |
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"Rules are simple only jokes or funnies, no arguing .
"Brexit would be great for the travel industry" Boris Johnson
23rd September 2019: 9000 jobs gone in one night after Thomas Cook (travel firm) reported 1.5bln loss for the first half of 2019. Thre British company has closed 21 of its stores, and 561 more stores could be closed as well.
"
I blame that nosey smug twat from the Trivago adverts. I dont KNOW if its true, I just like to think so, as it helps to justify my hatred of the woman. |
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"Rules are simple only jokes or funnies, no arguing .
"Brexit would be great for the travel industry" Boris Johnson
23rd September 2019: 9000 jobs gone in one night after Thomas Cook (travel firm) reported 1.5bln loss for the first half of 2019. Thre British company has closed 21 of its stores, and 561 more stores could be closed as well.
I blame that nosey smug twat from the Trivago adverts. I dont KNOW if its true, I just like to think so, as it helps to justify my hatred of the woman."
Fuck yeah I can’t stand that smug twat |
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