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On a lighter (well actually much heavier) note a new element has been discovered in Westminster...
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"Heaviest Element newly discovered Oxford University researchers have discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (symbol=Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons,88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called pillocks. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganisation in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganisation will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as a critical morass. When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium (symbol=Ad), an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium, since it has half as many pillocks but twice as many moron." very good, I like it | |||
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"Can it be sent to Cern and put in the Hadron collider please?" Don't tell anyone, but there is a special Hardon piledriver hidden in the cock tower in Westminster where morons are fired at pillocks in the hope of finding the ultimate idiot or dolt. | |||
"Yes an excellent description of Governmentium. However there is one element that is much heavier with very similar traits. Oppositiontium has the same number of assistant neutrons, deputy neutrons and assistant deputy neutrons, giving it the same atomic mass. However its ability to attract many more morons and pillocks makes it much heavier and much more dangerous. "And much more dense. | |||
"Yes an excellent description of Governmentium. However there is one element that is much heavier with very similar traits. Oppositiontium has the same number of assistant neutrons, deputy neutrons and assistant deputy neutrons, giving it the same atomic mass. However its ability to attract many more morons and pillocks makes it much heavier and much more dangerous. "Hopefully if they combine there will be enough mass to form a black hole and suck the lot of them into oblivion.No doubt being sucked through a black hole will be something that many politicians are familar with .  | |||
"Heaviest Element newly discovered Oxford University researchers have discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (symbol=Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons,88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called pillocks. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganisation in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganisation will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as a critical morass. When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium (symbol=Ad), an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium, since it has half as many pillocks but twice as many moron." When the Gv element comes into contact with a compound substance known as Society (So) it immediately asserts dominance over the individual elements in So and spawns the Ad element spontaneously. There have been confirmed reports it could spawn the Ad element more then once. This behaviour is especially witnessed when the money catalyst is present in abundance, but spawning cases have also been documented where the presence of the catalyst was minimal. In individual cases elements from So are absorbed into Gv and/or Ad, until critical mess is reached when certain elements are ejected from Gv and/or Ad into So again, usually causing havoc within the compound. Occasionally, the ejected elements have been re-absorbed into the element it came from after a (short) time period, but the event is rare indeed. Scientist have concluded on the elemental behaviours of both Gv and Ad that once these assert dominance over So, their control is total and irreversible, although reports from the past have shown that separation is possible, usually at a heavy cost for Gv elements but So and Ad have been affected too. These rare events are referred to as Revolution (Re) and there seems to be a functional connection between the conductance of Gv and Ad over So, which is the only substance known to instigate Re semi-periodically. The observer is forewarned to not to be present if Re occurs, for the violent behaviour in So it usually sparks. | |||
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"Heaviest Element newly discovered Oxford University researchers have discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (symbol=Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons,88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called pillocks. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganisation in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganisation will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as a critical morass. When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium (symbol=Ad), an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium, since it has half as many pillocks but twice as many moron.When the Gv element comes into contact with a compound substance known as Society (So) it immediately asserts dominance over the individual elements in So and spawns the Ad element spontaneously. There have been confirmed reports it could spawn the Ad element more then once. This behaviour is especially witnessed when the money catalyst is present in abundance, but spawning cases have also been documented where the presence of the catalyst was minimal. In individual cases elements from So are absorbed into Gv and/or Ad, until critical mess is reached when certain elements are ejected from Gv and/or Ad into So again, usually causing havoc within the compound. Occasionally, the ejected elements have been re-absorbed into the element it came from after a (short) time period, but the event is rare indeed. Scientist have concluded on the elemental behaviours of both Gv and Ad that once these assert dominance over So, their control is total and irreversible, although reports from the past have shown that separation is possible, usually at a heavy cost for Gv elements but So and Ad have been affected too. These rare events are referred to as Revolution (Re) and there seems to be a functional connection between the conductance of Gv and Ad over So, which is the only substance known to instigate Re semi-periodically. The observer is forewarned to not to be present if Re occurs, for the violent behaviour in So it usually sparks. " Wonderful! Thank you so much! (by the way I nearly wet myself!). | |||
