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Is this political madness gone correct?
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For over 150 years the UK has shared the idea of a piece loving old man climbing down every ones chimney on Christmas Eve to give presents to all children who have been good throughout the year. We’ve shared this this idea with most of Europe, North America and various other places around the world since signing the Lapland Accords on Christmas and Santa in 1820 and it has become known as ‘The Common Christmas Policy’ and the ‘Single Santa Area’. But now there are moves afoot to remove the UK from the Single Santa Area and to create a new, bespoke, British Santa to meet the needs of British Children. This could be achieved by Britain triggering clause 50 (often known as the Santa Clause) of the Lapland Accords and could be triggered before Easter next year if the UK does choose to leave the Single Santa Area.
The UK is almost totally split down the middle on this new proposal with two totally opposed camps being formed to argue the case both for and against the UK leaving the Single Santa Area (BREXMAS and CHRIMAIN).
Nigel Gove (BREXMAS) is reported to have already had a major spat with Anne Soubry (CHRIMAIN) over the issue. Mr Gove is reported to have said “What we want is a British Santa delivering British presents to British children” to which Ms Soubry reportedly replied “What British children need is a Santa who will deliver their presents, down the chimney, on Christmas Eve as expected and not simply post a note through the door telling them to collect their presents from the grotto on the next working day. In this regard the Single Santa and the Common Christmas policy have served British children well for 150 years’. Meanwhile Boris Jonson, who was expected to support CHRIMAIN, has come out in favour of BREXMAS saying “Britain needs to take back control of Christmas and being part of the Single Santa Area simply doesn’t allow us to do that. Christmas will be better, whiter and ours when leave the Single Santa Area”. The government is so worried by this new split that it issued an official statement yesterday, with the full backing the PM (Teresa May) saying ‘Christmas means Christmas and Santa means Santa’. When pushed to explain what the statement actually meant Teresa May went on to say “Leaving the Single Santa Area and abandoning the Common Christmas Policy is not something we can do quickly. It will involve tough and long negotiations with our Common Christmas partners and it’s very important that we play our cards as close to our chest as possible prior to those negotiations starting. However we will endeavour to ensure that, whatever happens, we will get the best possible Christmas for Britain”.
The official opposition parties are also very concerned about the possible new Christmas and Santa. Nicola Sturgeon stated “The people of Scotland are very happy with the current Single Santa and don’t want leave the Single Santa Area. This would be a material change to what was promised in 2014 and, if Scotland can’t keep our current Santa and remain in the Single Santa Area; this would be grounds for another independence referendum in Scotland”. Jeremy Corbyn, who historicaly was purported to have had strong BREXMAS tendencies, actually said he was in favour of CHRIMAIN but went to say “Whilst I and the Labour Party are strongly in favour of Britain remaining in the Single Santa Area it has to a reformed Single Santa Area. What the children of the hard working classes of Britain want is a fairer Santa; a Santa that will make sure that presents are fairly distributed around all the children of Britain. We want a Santa who will go down the chimneys of every household in Britain and make a fair assessment of the real needs of all the children of Britain and either give presents or take presents away as the need requires. It’s only fair that the children with the broadest shoulders should be willing to give up a few presents so that those with less can have more. For this reason I and the Labour party will not vote against Britain triggering the Santa Clause of the Lapland Accords”. Tim Farron also issued a statement making absolutely clear the LibDems position on the Common Santa policy and the Single Santa Area but no one’s actually read it yet.
Further abroad Angela Merkel has said “If Britain wants to leave the Single Santa Area then it must trigger the Santa Clause of the Lapland Accords sooner rather than later. However if Britain does leave the Single Santa Area and does allow the free movement of Santa(s) across the whole Single Santa Area then there can be no guarantee that British children living in other Single Santa area countries would get any presents delivered at all.” Barrack Obama said “It would be a mistake for the UK to leave the Single Santa Area and British children would be at the back of the queue when it came to delivery of Christmas presents if they do”. Even Donald Trump has chipped in saying “I fully support the BREXMAS idea and when I’m president next year we’ll have BREXMAS+++ here in the US to. It’ll be great!”
So where does everyone else stand? BREXMAS or CHRIMAIN? Either way have a merry Christmas
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"I think you would be better off leaving the sherry for the time being. Haven't you got presents to wrap?
I have and I put them under the tree not Santa.   "
All wrapped up thanks. 
Genuinely wishing you both a merry Christmas.  |
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"For over 150 years the UK has shared the idea of a piece loving old man climbing down every ones chimney on Christmas Eve to give presents to all children who have been good throughout the year. We’ve shared this this idea with most of Europe, North America and various other places around the world since signing the Lapland Accords on Christmas and Santa in 1820 and it has become known as ‘The Common Christmas Policy’ and the ‘Single Santa Area’. But now there are moves afoot to remove the UK from the Single Santa Area and to create a new, bespoke, British Santa to meet the needs of British Children. This could be achieved by Britain triggering clause 50 (often known as the Santa Clause) of the Lapland Accords and could be triggered before Easter next year if the UK does choose to leave the Single Santa Area.
The UK is almost totally split down the middle on this new proposal with two totally opposed camps being formed to argue the case both for and against the UK leaving the Single Santa Area (BREXMAS and CHRIMAIN).
Nigel Gove (BREXMAS) is reported to have already had a major spat with Anne Soubry (CHRIMAIN) over the issue. Mr Gove is reported to have said “What we want is a British Santa delivering British presents to British children” to which Ms Soubry reportedly replied “What British children need is a Santa who will deliver their presents, down the chimney, on Christmas Eve as expected and not simply post a note through the door telling them to collect their presents from the grotto on the next working day. In this regard the Single Santa and the Common Christmas policy have served British children well for 150 years’. Meanwhile Boris Jonson, who was expected to support CHRIMAIN, has come out in favour of BREXMAS saying “Britain needs to take back control of Christmas and being part of the Single Santa Area simply doesn’t allow us to do that. Christmas will be better, whiter and ours when leave the Single Santa Area”. The government is so worried by this new split that it issued an official statement yesterday, with the full backing the PM (Teresa May) saying ‘Christmas means Christmas and Santa means Santa’. When pushed to explain what the statement actually meant Teresa May went on to say “Leaving the Single Santa Area and abandoning the Common Christmas Policy is not something we can do quickly. It will involve tough and long negotiations with our Common Christmas partners and it’s very important that we play our cards as close to our chest as possible prior to those negotiations starting. However we will endeavour to ensure that, whatever happens, we will get the best possible Christmas for Britain”.
The official opposition parties are also very concerned about the possible new Christmas and Santa. Nicola Sturgeon stated “The people of Scotland are very happy with the current Single Santa and don’t want leave the Single Santa Area. This would be a material change to what was promised in 2014 and, if Scotland can’t keep our current Santa and remain in the Single Santa Area; this would be grounds for another independence referendum in Scotland”. Jeremy Corbyn, who historicaly was purported to have had strong BREXMAS tendencies, actually said he was in favour of CHRIMAIN but went to say “Whilst I and the Labour Party are strongly in favour of Britain remaining in the Single Santa Area it has to a reformed Single Santa Area. What the children of the hard working classes of Britain want is a fairer Santa; a Santa that will make sure that presents are fairly distributed around all the children of Britain. We want a Santa who will go down the chimneys of every household in Britain and make a fair assessment of the real needs of all the children of Britain and either give presents or take presents away as the need requires. It’s only fair that the children with the broadest shoulders should be willing to give up a few presents so that those with less can have more. For this reason I and the Labour party will not vote against Britain triggering the Santa Clause of the Lapland Accords”. Tim Farron also issued a statement making absolutely clear the LibDems position on the Common Santa policy and the Single Santa Area but no one’s actually read it yet.
Further abroad Angela Merkel has said “If Britain wants to leave the Single Santa Area then it must trigger the Santa Clause of the Lapland Accords sooner rather than later. However if Britain does leave the Single Santa Area and does allow the free movement of Santa(s) across the whole Single Santa Area then there can be no guarantee that British children living in other Single Santa area countries would get any presents delivered at all.” Barrack Obama said “It would be a mistake for the UK to leave the Single Santa Area and British children would be at the back of the queue when it came to delivery of Christmas presents if they do”. Even Donald Trump has chipped in saying “I fully support the BREXMAS idea and when I’m president next year we’ll have BREXMAS+++ here in the US to. It’ll be great!”
So where does everyone else stand? BREXMAS or CHRIMAIN? Either way have a merry Christmas
"
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