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A tale of Boris to lighten the mood.
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By *ackal1 OP Couple
over a year ago
Manchester |
Recently Boris was visiting the North East and a local councillor was showing him around a particularly deprived area.
Boris noticing the attentive journalists decided to show his true get it done attitude. He asked the councillor, “Tell me, what are you top three concerns right here, right now?”
The councillor said “ well firstly they are closing our local small hospital and we also don’t have enough ambulances”Boris took his mobile out and walked away chatting into the phone.
He returned and said loudly , “ I’ve had a word and the hospital is not going to be closed and in fact it’s going to be expanded and you’ve got another 10 ambulances.”
Boris then said, “What’s number two?” “Well” the councillor said “The water treatment works up the river keeps emptying raw sewage into the river polluting the water we get for drinking and our children used to swim in the river. “
Boris again took his phone out and wandered off chatting into it. He turned watching the journalist waiting to write every word and said “I’ve had a chat and the sewage works will be fined and pay for bottled water for everyone until it fixes all the problems”
Boris then asked “So what was the third issue?”
The councillor looking puzzled quietly said,, “ We don’t have any mobile signal here.” |
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By *ebbie69Couple
over a year ago
milton keynes |
"
Recently Boris was visiting the North East and a local councillor was showing him around a particularly deprived area.
Boris noticing the attentive journalists decided to show his true get it done attitude. He asked the councillor, “Tell me, what are you top three concerns right here, right now?”
The councillor said “ well firstly they are closing our local small hospital and we also don’t have enough ambulances”Boris took his mobile out and walked away chatting into the phone.
He returned and said loudly , “ I’ve had a word and the hospital is not going to be closed and in fact it’s going to be expanded and you’ve got another 10 ambulances.”
Boris then said, “What’s number two?” “Well” the councillor said “The water treatment works up the river keeps emptying raw sewage into the river polluting the water we get for drinking and our children used to swim in the river. “
Boris again took his phone out and wandered off chatting into it. He turned watching the journalist waiting to write every word and said “I’ve had a chat and the sewage works will be fined and pay for bottled water for everyone until it fixes all the problems”
Boris then asked “So what was the third issue?”
The councillor looking puzzled quietly said,, “ We don’t have any mobile signal here.” "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Recently Boris was visiting the North East and a local councillor was showing him around a particularly deprived area.
Boris noticing the attentive journalists decided to show his true get it done attitude. He asked the councillor, “Tell me, what are you top three concerns right here, right now?”
The councillor said “ well firstly they are closing our local small hospital and we also don’t have enough ambulances”Boris took his mobile out and walked away chatting into the phone.
He returned and said loudly , “ I’ve had a word and the hospital is not going to be closed and in fact it’s going to be expanded and you’ve got another 10 ambulances.”
Boris then said, “What’s number two?” “Well” the councillor said “The water treatment works up the river keeps emptying raw sewage into the river polluting the water we get for drinking and our children used to swim in the river. “
Boris again took his phone out and wandered off chatting into it. He turned watching the journalist waiting to write every word and said “I’ve had a chat and the sewage works will be fined and pay for bottled water for everyone until it fixes all the problems”
Boris then asked “So what was the third issue?”
The councillor looking puzzled quietly said,, “ We don’t have any mobile signal here.” "
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By *ackal1 OP Couple
over a year ago
Manchester |
"Does anyone else remember boZo trying and failing miserably to use a mop, during the floods. What an absolute spunk pigeon "
I’ve got to ask … what’s a spunk pigeon??
Oh wait yes it’s Boris.
Full of shit I’m guessing?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Recently Boris was visiting the North East and a local councillor was showing him around a particularly deprived area.
Boris noticing the attentive journalists decided to show his true get it done attitude. He asked the councillor, “Tell me, what are you top three concerns right here, right now?”
The councillor said “ well firstly they are closing our local small hospital and we also don’t have enough ambulances”Boris took his mobile out and walked away chatting into the phone.
He returned and said loudly , “ I’ve had a word and the hospital is not going to be closed and in fact it’s going to be expanded and you’ve got another 10 ambulances.”
Boris then said, “What’s number two?” “Well” the councillor said “The water treatment works up the river keeps emptying raw sewage into the river polluting the water we get for drinking and our children used to swim in the river. “
Boris again took his phone out and wandered off chatting into it. He turned watching the journalist waiting to write every word and said “I’ve had a chat and the sewage works will be fined and pay for bottled water for everyone until it fixes all the problems”
Boris then asked “So what was the third issue?”
The councillor looking puzzled quietly said,, “ We don’t have any mobile signal here.” "
Quality!
Boris rhymes with bullshit.
He has a degree in bullshit.
Bullshit em.
Bullshit baffles.
Oh, and a degree of control.
I once worked for a character similar to Boris. Bullshitting control freak was my most respectful description of him.
Hope that helps |
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By *ackal1 OP Couple
over a year ago
Manchester |
"
Recently Boris was visiting the North East and a local councillor was showing him around a particularly deprived area.
Boris noticing the attentive journalists decided to show his true get it done attitude. He asked the councillor, “Tell me, what are you top three concerns right here, right now?”
The councillor said “ well firstly they are closing our local small hospital and we also don’t have enough ambulances”Boris took his mobile out and walked away chatting into the phone.
He returned and said loudly , “ I’ve had a word and the hospital is not going to be closed and in fact it’s going to be expanded and you’ve got another 10 ambulances.”
Boris then said, “What’s number two?” “Well” the councillor said “The water treatment works up the river keeps emptying raw sewage into the river polluting the water we get for drinking and our children used to swim in the river. “
Boris again took his phone out and wandered off chatting into it. He turned watching the journalist waiting to write every word and said “I’ve had a chat and the sewage works will be fined and pay for bottled water for everyone until it fixes all the problems”
Boris then asked “So what was the third issue?”
The councillor looking puzzled quietly said,, “ We don’t have any mobile signal here.”
Quality!
Boris rhymes with bullshit.
He has a degree in bullshit.
Bullshit em.
Bullshit baffles.
Oh, and a degree of control.
I once worked for a character similar to Boris. Bullshitting control freak was my most respectful description of him.
Hope that helps"
Don’t sugar coat it !!
Tell ‘em straight !
I’ve never met a more successful bullshitter than Boris to be honest..  |
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By *ackal1 OP Couple
over a year ago
Manchester |
"Go on admit it this was not about lightening the mood it was just another have a pop at the government/Boris again  "
I shouldn’t have responded to the last message I agree as my intention was to make everyone smile. My mistake.
Yes I can’t stand the guy but that genuinely wasn’t the intention.
It is a funny piece though |
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