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Don’t know who needs to hear this

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

But please, ONLY use sex toys to have sex with! Don’t use random objects! Last thing hospitals need right now are idiots going to a&e because they ‘fell’ onto a fucking Xbox controller

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

*pulls xbox controller out*

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"ok

*pulls xbox controller out*"

Good boy

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By *ittleREDridingWoman over a year ago

Sheffield

Spoilsport

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By *inky Biscuit DunkerMan over a year ago

Gloucestershire

"ok

*pulls xbox controller out*"

Hope it wasn't an Elite Controller. They have all sorts of interchangeable knobs & paddles that come out

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"ok

*pulls xbox controller out*

Hope it wasn't an Elite Controller. They have all sorts of interchangeable knobs & paddles that come out

....fuck

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

Are you bored today Queeny ??

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By *ntrigued32Couple over a year ago

Nottingham

I didn’t fall onto my controller though! It just got up and made its own way in!

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By *tephanjMan over a year ago

Kettering

Dam thought I had a new hiding place for a bottle of hand sanitizer

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I didn’t fall onto my controller though! It just got up and made its own way in!

D."

‘I swear I don’t know what happened!’

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Are you bored today Queeny ??

I’m giving useful advice!!!!

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By *ntrigued32Couple over a year ago

Nottingham

"I didn’t fall onto my controller though! It just got up and made its own way in!

‘I swear I don’t know what happened!’"

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"Are you bored today Queeny ??

I’m giving useful advice!!!!"

I agree with you on that , I was about to get my nutcracker out the draw and twist my testicles for a cheap thrill.

But upon reading your wise words , I've decided it's not a good idea

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Are you bored today Queeny ??

I’m giving useful advice!!!!

I agree with you on that , I was about to get my nutcracker out the draw and twist my testicles for a cheap thrill.

But upon reading your wise words , I've decided it's not a good idea

I’m ever so wise

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By *ickygirl41Woman over a year ago

Glasgow

"But please, ONLY use sex toys to have sex with! Don’t use random objects! Last thing hospitals need right now are idiots going to a&e because they ‘fell’ onto a fucking Xbox controller "

Or chair leg

Or vacuum cleaner

And we know why you're casually sitting on the washing machine, Becky, you slapper.

And oh dear God will you please leave the cucumber alone...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The woman speaks sense. It's too late for me but save yourselves

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Cucumber? Fortunate to find any round here!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"The woman speaks sense. It's too late for me but save yourselves

! "

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By *ex HolesMan over a year ago

Up North

What’s an X-Box?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I’ve taken the batteries out of mine

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By * and M lookingCouple over a year ago

Worcester

"But please, ONLY use sex toys to have sex with! Don’t use random objects! Last thing hospitals need right now are idiots going to a&e because they ‘fell’ onto a fucking Xbox controller "

Does that mean that they are " On the Game?"

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By *partharmonyCouple over a year ago

Ruislip

Why are there no public information announcements about this? It's just irresponsible for government to neglect such important and likely situations.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Why are there no public information announcements about this? It's just irresponsible for government to neglect such important and likely situations. "

So true. Thankfully you lot gave me to remind you. But not everyone is so lucky

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I could slip on my shower head(

) in the shower, ffs.

Purely innocently, obvs.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I could slip on my shower head(

) in the shower, ffs.

Purely innocently, obvs. "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Flared base people, flared base

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I could slip on my shower head(

) in the shower, ffs.

Purely innocently, obvs.

NO"

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I feel like everyone needs to hear this. You dirty sponges!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Can I microwave up a large carrot and have a go with that?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

the electric toothbrush incident

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Can I microwave up a large carrot and have a go with that? "

Ffs no

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Can I microwave up a large carrot and have a go with that?

Ffs no"

parsnip?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Can I microwave up a large carrot and have a go with that?

Ffs no

parsnip?"

DILDO

FINGER

OR PENIS

THAT IS ALL

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I feel like everyone needs to hear this. You dirty sponges!"

What’s your view on smurf usage?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Can I microwave up a large carrot and have a go with that?

Ffs no

parsnip?

DILDO

FINGER

OR PENIS

THAT IS ALL"

I need fatter fingers

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I feel like everyone needs to hear this. You dirty sponges!

What’s your view on smurf usage?"

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By *eeleyWoman over a year ago

Dudley

Better get that bag of pork scratchings out me vag

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Better get that bag of pork scratchings out me vag

Please do young lady

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By *inky_CarpenterMan over a year ago

Portsmouth

"But please, ONLY use sex toys to have sex with! Don’t use random objects! Last thing hospitals need right now are idiots going to a&e because they ‘fell’ onto a fucking Xbox controller "

You couldn't be more wrong gorgeous xx I think at this time our doctors and nurses need a good laugh more than anything else! I've got a couple of Doctor mates who love to tell these stories and the whole ward usually gets to share the joke!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

That's why I have my big dildos on order

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By *eeleyWoman over a year ago

Dudley

"Better get that bag of pork scratchings out me vag

Please do young lady "

The loss of all that crunchy goodness will upset me, but, safety first!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Better get that bag of pork scratchings out me vag

Is this hair off the scratching or the vag? Oh well - down the hatch!

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By *eeleyWoman over a year ago

Dudley

"Better get that bag of pork scratchings out me vag

Is this hair off the scratching or the vag? Oh well - down the hatch!

I have a hairless quim thankyou very much!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Better get that bag of pork scratchings out me vag

Is this hair off the scratching or the vag? Oh well - down the hatch!

I have a hairless quim thankyou very much!"

You have *now*...

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"But please, ONLY use sex toys to have sex with! Don’t use random objects! Last thing hospitals need right now are idiots going to a&e because they ‘fell’ onto a fucking Xbox controller

Yeah you’re right my bad

Waste doctors/nurses time folks

Shove whatever you like up there

Yolo

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