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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Nudes"
Hmmm I will get cutting and sticking from old pornos from under my mattress then! Hope you don't mind they are from late 1990s. Hairy muffs all the rage then. |
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A couple of bottles of
The Macallan rare cask single malt whisky please.
2 large bags of porridge oats.
15 tins of baked beans
3 large crusty loaf's uncut.
8cans of tuna I. Spring water
A packet of pitta breads
Bottle of salad cream.
A jar of Manuka honey
10 triple ply loo rolls.
5 large bags of salted pretzels
And some dark chocolate.
And a pair of your dirty knickers.
If you can get all that just the loo rolls whisky and dirty knickers thanks x |
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"Do they sell sanity? I need some more motherfucking sanity 
Oh dear ... you are usually the sane one round here, panicking a bit now  "
If I'm the sane one we're fucked.
But I meant around me. Tesco is like a fucking war zone. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"A couple of bottles of
The Macallan rare cask single malt whisky please.
2 large bags of porridge oats.
15 tins of baked beans
3 large crusty loaf's uncut.
8cans of tuna I. Spring water
A packet of pitta breads
Bottle of salad cream.
A jar of Manuka honey
10 triple ply loo rolls.
5 large bags of salted pretzels
And some dark chocolate.
And a pair of your dirty knickers.
If you can get all that just the loo rolls whisky and dirty knickers thanks x"
My laundry basket is free for a rummage? I'm gonna put a wash on before work so you better get a shifty on.
Loo roll I'm negotiating with someone atm  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Do they sell sanity? I need some more motherfucking sanity
Oh dear ... you are usually the sane one round here, panicking a bit now
If I'm the sane one we're fucked.
But I meant around me. Tesco is like a fucking war zone."
Here's the same, you need to go and bollock them all! |
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"Do they sell sanity? I need some more motherfucking sanity
Oh dear ... you are usually the sane one round here, panicking a bit now
If I'm the sane one we're fucked.
But I meant around me. Tesco is like a fucking war zone.
Here's the same, you need to go and bollock them all! "
"Outta my way, I just want some fucking soap! One!
You. You with twenty. Put them back. Didn't you learn to share as a toddler?" |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Do they sell sanity? I need some more motherfucking sanity
Oh dear ... you are usually the sane one round here, panicking a bit now
If I'm the sane one we're fucked.
But I meant around me. Tesco is like a fucking war zone.
Here's the same, you need to go and bollock them all!
"Outta my way, I just want some fucking soap! One!
You. You with twenty. Put them back. Didn't you learn to share as a toddler?""
You got this ... I'll bring my spanking stick! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I'm putting together some care packages to get us through lock down when it happens.
What would you like in yours? 
You know what I want in mine  "
Haha well we need to sort out this deal on loo roll first |
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