FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > I'm making a porno.
I'm making a porno.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Wanna help?
I need script ideas, actors, camera people, fluffers and anything else you can think of!
Help!
Anything I can help with?  "
You can be the gape spotter, any sign of insides and you censor it!  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I'd be in it, if you want to audition me. Where's that casting couch?
I can also do the music.
Luke "
Just over there, Big Dave the Daddy Bear is doing the auditions. Better get lubed up! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Wanna help?
I need script ideas, actors, camera people, fluffers and anything else you can think of!
Help!
Anything I can help with?
You can be the gape spotter, any sign of insides and you censor it! "
This jobs going to age me really quickly
But I'm a solid worker so I'll keep those pesky gapes out of here  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I’ll clarify - whole group of people with the virus in a hospital ward - get sum sexy doctors and nurses - job done "
I'm not sure a virus is sexy 
I was thinking more the epidemic got so bad they're hiding there to avoid it? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Wanna help?
I need script ideas, actors, camera people, fluffers and anything else you can think of!
Help!
Anything I can help with?
You can be the gape spotter, any sign of insides and you censor it!
This jobs going to age me really quickly
But I'm a solid worker so I'll keep those pesky gapes out of here "
You're strong, you can do it  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Wanna help?
I need script ideas, actors, camera people, fluffers and anything else you can think of!
Help!
Anything I can help with?
You can be the gape spotter, any sign of insides and you censor it!
This jobs going to age me really quickly
But I'm a solid worker so I'll keep those pesky gapes out of here
You're strong, you can do it "
Hope I get paid right, cash not needed |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Wanna help?
I need script ideas, actors, camera people, fluffers and anything else you can think of!
Help!
Anything I can help with?
You can be the gape spotter, any sign of insides and you censor it!
This jobs going to age me really quickly
But I'm a solid worker so I'll keep those pesky gapes out of here
You're strong, you can do it
Hope I get paid right, cash not needed "
Is my gratitude not enough!?! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"If your theme is a bit niche and involves 50-something bald guys then I’d be delighted to help in any way I can."
Everyone is welcome, it'll be like a pick n mix, a bit of something for all tastes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Wanna help?
I need script ideas, actors, camera people, fluffers and anything else you can think of!
Help!
Anything I can help with?
You can be the gape spotter, any sign of insides and you censor it!
This jobs going to age me really quickly
But I'm a solid worker so I'll keep those pesky gapes out of here
You're strong, you can do it
Hope I get paid right, cash not needed
Is my gratitude not enough!?! "
That's what I meant when I said no cash needed  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"What kind of scene where you thinking ? 1to1 m/f or 3some mfm, mmf,fmf, ffm ? Group gangbang ?"
I have no idea! Maybe it could be feature length and have a bit of everything? |
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By *_MariusMan
over a year ago
Currently Faraway |
"I hope you do it like Erika Lust
I don't know who she is but I shall Google! "
She’s a porn producer who makes what they call ‘ethical porn’. Whereby basically the women participants actually enjoy what they do and they don’t perform for somebody else’s entitled pleasure. Very #metoo actually.
Anyhow, I can offer you my property for outdoor shots but it’s in Athens |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I hope you do it like Erika Lust
I don't know who she is but I shall Google!
She’s a porn producer who makes what they call ‘ethical porn’. Whereby basically the women participants actually enjoy what they do and they don’t perform for somebody else’s entitled pleasure. Very #metoo actually.
Anyhow, I can offer you my property for outdoor shots but it’s in Athens "
Road trip!!! Count us in! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Any boinging occurring in this video? I’m happy to help out with that  "
Absolutely! We'll line up all the men and get them to do it in quick succession like a Mexican wave of penis! |
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"Woohoo!!!!
I'll get me mop
I'm inspired now, I picture you breaking into song as you mop. Musical porn should totally be a thing!!! "
"Cor blimey Miss Poppy, Youse a right sort and no mistakin; Mop moppery, mop moppery mop mop mop-ee, a mopper is as lucky as lucky can be" |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Woohoo!!!!
I'll get me mop
I'm inspired now, I picture you breaking into song as you mop. Musical porn should totally be a thing!!!
"Cor blimey Miss Poppy, Youse a right sort and no mistakin; Mop moppery, mop moppery mop mop mop-ee, a mopper is as lucky as lucky can be""
I'm so turned on right now  |
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"Woohoo!!!!
I'll get me mop
I'm inspired now, I picture you breaking into song as you mop. Musical porn should totally be a thing!!!
"Cor blimey Miss Poppy, Youse a right sort and no mistakin; Mop moppery, mop moppery mop mop mop-ee, a mopper is as lucky as lucky can be"
I'm so turned on right now "
Good luck rubbing one off when
I mops up your goo
Or blow me a job
And that's lucky too
((Mop moppery, mop moppery mop mop mop-ee, a mopper is as lucky as lucky can be)) |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Woohoo!!!!
I'll get me mop
I'm inspired now, I picture you breaking into song as you mop. Musical porn should totally be a thing!!!
"Cor blimey Miss Poppy, Youse a right sort and no mistakin; Mop moppery, mop moppery mop mop mop-ee, a mopper is as lucky as lucky can be"
I'm so turned on right now
Good luck rubbing one off when
I mops up your goo
Or blow me a job
And that's lucky too
((Mop moppery, mop moppery mop mop mop-ee, a mopper is as lucky as lucky can be))"
I'm done |
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"Woohoo!!!!
I'll get me mop
I'm inspired now, I picture you breaking into song as you mop. Musical porn should totally be a thing!!!
"Cor blimey Miss Poppy, Youse a right sort and no mistakin; Mop moppery, mop moppery mop mop mop-ee, a mopper is as lucky as lucky can be"
I'm so turned on right now
Good luck rubbing one off when
I mops up your goo
Or blow me a job
And that's lucky too
((Mop moppery, mop moppery mop mop mop-ee, a mopper is as lucky as lucky can be))
I'm done "
((exits stage left, divers alarums, winks to the crowd, bows and doffs cap to the ladies.... there could be a penguin involved, not sure)) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Any boinging occurring in this video? I’m happy to help out with that
Absolutely! We'll line up all the men and get them to do it in quick succession like a Mexican wave of penis! "
Ooooooh my! I’m loving that idea! |
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"What kind of scene where you thinking ? 1to1 m/f or 3some mfm, mmf,fmf, ffm ? Group gangbang ?
I have no idea! Maybe it could be feature length and have a bit of everything? "
Ambitious I love it, large cast needed and lots of fluffers and buffers lol
Also hell yes to porn musicals |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Woohoo!!!!
I'll get me mop
I'm inspired now, I picture you breaking into song as you mop. Musical porn should totally be a thing!!!
"Cor blimey Miss Poppy, Youse a right sort and no mistakin; Mop moppery, mop moppery mop mop mop-ee, a mopper is as lucky as lucky can be"
I'm so turned on right now
Good luck rubbing one off when
I mops up your goo
Or blow me a job
And that's lucky too
((Mop moppery, mop moppery mop mop mop-ee, a mopper is as lucky as lucky can be))
I'm done
((exits stage left, divers alarums, winks to the crowd, bows and doffs cap to the ladies.... there could be a penguin involved, not sure))"
A wee dancing one like happy feet! |
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I've got a you tube channel so understand the difficulty of producing something worth watching.
My suggestion would be to define a "crew" if you have the luxury. Eg sound guy, camera dude, director chic etc.
The editor has a lot of work to do and the budget is always a limiting factor.
The easy way is to film some Gonzo and upload to porn hub (I've done this), although even an amateur video is very amateur.
Good luck, I'm wanting to film one this year too.
Xxx. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Wanna help?
I need script ideas, actors, camera people, fluffers and anything else you can think of!
Help! can i be the fake moans    "
Yes! I'll pay you extra if you dub the dirty talking female role too. |
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"Woohoo!!!!
I'll get me mop
I'm inspired now, I picture you breaking into song as you mop. Musical porn should totally be a thing!!!
"Cor blimey Miss Poppy, Youse a right sort and no mistakin; Mop moppery, mop moppery mop mop mop-ee, a mopper is as lucky as lucky can be"
I'm so turned on right now
Good luck rubbing one off when
I mops up your goo
Or blow me a job
And that's lucky too
((Mop moppery, mop moppery mop mop mop-ee, a mopper is as lucky as lucky can be))
I'm done
((exits stage left, divers alarums, winks to the crowd, bows and doffs cap to the ladies.... there could be a penguin involved, not sure))
A wee dancing one like happy feet! "
Thinking about it we should have gone with Bedknobs and Broomsticks |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I've got a you tube channel so understand the difficulty of producing something worth watching.
My suggestion would be to define a "crew" if you have the luxury. Eg sound guy, camera dude, director chic etc.
The editor has a lot of work to do and the budget is always a limiting factor.
The easy way is to film some Gonzo and upload to porn hub (I've done this), although even an amateur video is very amateur.
Good luck, I'm wanting to film one this year too.
Xxx. "
Oh I have no budget, I'm going for the "so amateur I filmed it on my mobile" market |
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"I've got a you tube channel so understand the difficulty of producing something worth watching.
My suggestion would be to define a "crew" if you have the luxury. Eg sound guy, camera dude, director chic etc.
The editor has a lot of work to do and the budget is always a limiting factor.
The easy way is to film some Gonzo and upload to porn hub (I've done this), although even an amateur video is very amateur.
Good luck, I'm wanting to film one this year too.
Xxx. "
As someone who also has a channel, I second this. The editing is much more time consuming than filming, once you have idea pf what scenes you want a storyboard play of shots you want will help understand camera requirements ect |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Woohoo!!!!
I'll get me mop
I'm inspired now, I picture you breaking into song as you mop. Musical porn should totally be a thing!!!
"Cor blimey Miss Poppy, Youse a right sort and no mistakin; Mop moppery, mop moppery mop mop mop-ee, a mopper is as lucky as lucky can be"
I'm so turned on right now
Good luck rubbing one off when
I mops up your goo
Or blow me a job
And that's lucky too
((Mop moppery, mop moppery mop mop mop-ee, a mopper is as lucky as lucky can be))
I'm done
((exits stage left, divers alarums, winks to the crowd, bows and doffs cap to the ladies.... there could be a penguin involved, not sure))
A wee dancing one like happy feet!
Thinking about it we should have gone with Bedknobs and Broomsticks"
That title never sounded so sexual as it does right now.
Although did you ever see the clip of Angela Lansbury masturbating in the bath? I'm still traumatised. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I'll be the yoghurt man... The guy that splatter s yoghurt over the 'actors' to simulate the cum shot. I'll even bring my own yoghurt"
Perfect, get different flavours and ones with bits in for a laugh. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Wanna help?
I need script ideas, actors, camera people, fluffers and anything else you can think of!
Help! can i be the fake moans
Yes! I'll pay you extra if you dub the dirty talking female role too. "
you want your women to actually sound like men now thats a novel idea for all the fab straight men |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I've got a you tube channel so understand the difficulty of producing something worth watching.
My suggestion would be to define a "crew" if you have the luxury. Eg sound guy, camera dude, director chic etc.
The editor has a lot of work to do and the budget is always a limiting factor.
The easy way is to film some Gonzo and upload to porn hub (I've done this), although even an amateur video is very amateur.
Good luck, I'm wanting to film one this year too.
Xxx.
As someone who also has a channel, I second this. The editing is much more time consuming than filming, once you have idea pf what scenes you want a storyboard play of shots you want will help understand camera requirements ect"
Oh I'm just planning on fluttering my eyelashes and getting someone to do it for me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Location hotel room.
Actors, handsome dark haired guy with big eyebrows and a girthy penis and a petite brunette with an epic cunt and nice boobs.
Script, cleaning lady comes to do the hotel room thinking the room is empty. Opens the door quietly and sees handsome man laying on his back having a wank. She pauses by the door to see if he’s noticed her but he hasn’t. She watches him for a little while, then coughs to alert him, he spots her but continues, she approaches the bed and asks if she can smell his bum. Handsome man rolls over on to his side to expose his bum. She positions her fave between his cheeks and snogs his arse hole, flicking her tongue in and out of his arse hole like a monitor lizard. Then complete fuckery commences.
|
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"
That title never sounded so sexual as it does right now.
Although did you ever see the clip of Angela Lansbury masturbating in the bath? I'm still traumatised. "
Seen it? Number 1 in the wank bank, the cameltoe shot in the yoga pants is usually where i "finish" |
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"I've got a you tube channel so understand the difficulty of producing something worth watching.
My suggestion would be to define a "crew" if you have the luxury. Eg sound guy, camera dude, director chic etc.
The editor has a lot of work to do and the budget is always a limiting factor.
The easy way is to film some Gonzo and upload to porn hub (I've done this), although even an amateur video is very amateur.
Good luck, I'm wanting to film one this year too.
Xxx.
As someone who also has a channel, I second this. The editing is much more time consuming than filming, once you have idea pf what scenes you want a storyboard play of shots you want will help understand camera requirements ect
Oh I'm just planning on fluttering my eyelashes and getting someone to do it for me "
Ah a cunning plan. I have no doubt that you'll find someone to do it for you  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Location hotel room.
Actors, handsome dark haired guy with big eyebrows and a girthy penis and a petite brunette with an epic cunt and nice boobs.
Script, cleaning lady comes to do the hotel room thinking the room is empty. Opens the door quietly and sees handsome man laying on his back having a wank. She pauses by the door to see if he’s noticed her but he hasn’t. She watches him for a little while, then coughs to alert him, he spots her but continues, she approaches the bed and asks if she can smell his bum. Handsome man rolls over on to his side to expose his bum. She positions her fave between his cheeks and snogs his arse hole, flicking her tongue in and out of his arse hole like a monitor lizard. Then complete fuckery commences.
"
Ooooooooohhh! Then Decadent Devon comes in to check on her work (with his mop) and that's when the singing starts! |
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"
Oh I have no budget, I'm going for the "so amateur I filmed it on my mobile" market "
Surely there's a few quid in the pot for a six pack or a bottle of wine?
If you want to star in one get yourself over to France this summer and you can star in mine! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
That title never sounded so sexual as it does right now.
Although did you ever see the clip of Angela Lansbury masturbating in the bath? I'm still traumatised.
Seen it? Number 1 in the wank bank, the cameltoe shot in the yoga pants is usually where i "finish""
Stop!!!! I'd buried the memories, don't bring them back!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I'll head up the continuity team, that's important part of film making, I've seeh a few disasters that totally take film down a few notches. "
Perfect! I'll throw in some random things like a scary ghost in a window, see if you notice. |
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"
That title never sounded so sexual as it does right now.
Although did you ever see the clip of Angela Lansbury masturbating in the bath? I'm still traumatised.
Seen it? Number 1 in the wank bank, the cameltoe shot in the yoga pants is usually where i "finish"
Stop!!!! I'd buried the memories, don't bring them back!! "
She's my kind of filthy "Positive Moves" indeed..... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
Oh I have no budget, I'm going for the "so amateur I filmed it on my mobile" market
Surely there's a few quid in the pot for a six pack or a bottle of wine?
If you want to star in one get yourself over to France this summer and you can star in mine! "
I've got a bottle of prosecco I got at Christmas if that helps? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Oh I have no budget, I'm going for the "so amateur I filmed it on my mobile" market
Surely there's a few quid in the pot for a six pack or a bottle of wine?
If you want to star in one get yourself over to France this summer and you can star in mine!
I've got a bottle of prosecco I got at Christmas if that helps? "
check the date |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
That title never sounded so sexual as it does right now.
Although did you ever see the clip of Angela Lansbury masturbating in the bath? I'm still traumatised.
Seen it? Number 1 in the wank bank, the cameltoe shot in the yoga pants is usually where i "finish"
Stop!!!! I'd buried the memories, don't bring them back!!
She's my kind of filthy "Positive Moves" indeed..... "
I can hear her voice in my head  |
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By *xhib12Man
over a year ago
Blyth |
"I’ll make the tea
I'll bring the biscuits
What kind? This is a very important question. "
This is very true. I initially thought chocolate hob nobs but then decided nothing with chocolate would be suitable as there'd likely be lots of heat so it would melt and the make up department would go mental if there were chocolate finger marks everywhere.
Can't be ginger nuts (see the figging thread from the other day).
If we're reduced to dry biscuits then it has to be digestives or those lotus biscoffs that nice cafes give out with their coffees.
This is much harder than it first appears! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'll head up the continuity team, that's important part of film making, I've seeh a few disasters that totally take film down a few notches.
Perfect! I'll throw in some random things like a scary ghost in a window, see if you notice. "
Yeah, make sure am on top of things eh lol |
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"
That title never sounded so sexual as it does right now.
Although did you ever see the clip of Angela Lansbury masturbating in the bath? I'm still traumatised.
Seen it? Number 1 in the wank bank, the cameltoe shot in the yoga pants is usually where i "finish"
Stop!!!! I'd buried the memories, don't bring them back!!
She's my kind of filthy "Positive Moves" indeed.....
I can hear her voice in my head "
Okay so we have a strange hotel scene with a maid, some fit hunk of meat and a mopper in the background, the ghost of Angela Lansbury's cameltoe in the window whispering dark thoughts... |
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Please define the team.
You'll need a writer/s
Director/s
Editor/s
Camera men/women
Sound and lighting engineers
Catering (although tea and biscuits sounds good enough).
A Location
Actors and actresses.
Best boy
A grip
Set and props
Continuety (already specified).
Fluffers (already specified).
Make up
Graphics
That out of date bottle of prosecco won't go far.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I’ll make the tea
I'll bring the biscuits
What kind? This is a very important question.
This is very true. I initially thought chocolate hob nobs but then decided nothing with chocolate would be suitable as there'd likely be lots of heat so it would melt and the make up department would go mental if there were chocolate finger marks everywhere.
Can't be ginger nuts (see the figging thread from the other day).
If we're reduced to dry biscuits then it has to be digestives or those lotus biscoffs that nice cafes give out with their coffees.
This is much harder than it first appears!"
So many things to think about! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
That title never sounded so sexual as it does right now.
Although did you ever see the clip of Angela Lansbury masturbating in the bath? I'm still traumatised.
Seen it? Number 1 in the wank bank, the cameltoe shot in the yoga pants is usually where i "finish"
Stop!!!! I'd buried the memories, don't bring them back!!
She's my kind of filthy "Positive Moves" indeed.....
I can hear her voice in my head
Okay so we have a strange hotel scene with a maid, some fit hunk of meat and a mopper in the background, the ghost of Angela Lansbury's cameltoe in the window whispering dark thoughts..."
This is gonna be epic! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I've written a number of stories that have gotten some positive responses on the boards also have experience in script and screen play writting"
You're in! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I’ll be the Mary Whitehouse type person who campaigns for the film to be banned for outraging public decency.
Hence giving it worldwide publicity and notoriety ensuring everybody wants to see it. "
Ooooooooh clever thinking! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Please define the team.
You'll need a writer/s
Director/s
Editor/s
Camera men/women
Sound and lighting engineers
Catering (although tea and biscuits sounds good enough).
A Location
Actors and actresses.
Best boy
A grip
Set and props
Continuety (already specified).
Fluffers (already specified).
Make up
Graphics
That out of date bottle of prosecco won't go far. "
It will with the eyelash flutters |
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"
That title never sounded so sexual as it does right now.
Although did you ever see the clip of Angela Lansbury masturbating in the bath? I'm still traumatised.
Seen it? Number 1 in the wank bank, the cameltoe shot in the yoga pants is usually where i "finish"
Stop!!!! I'd buried the memories, don't bring them back!!
She's my kind of filthy "Positive Moves" indeed.....
I can hear her voice in my head
Okay so we have a strange hotel scene with a maid, some fit hunk of meat and a mopper in the background, the ghost of Angela Lansbury's cameltoe in the window whispering dark thoughts...
This is gonna be epic! "
Can I be Angela Lansbury's Cameltoe Tightner? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
That title never sounded so sexual as it does right now.
Although did you ever see the clip of Angela Lansbury masturbating in the bath? I'm still traumatised.
Seen it? Number 1 in the wank bank, the cameltoe shot in the yoga pants is usually where i "finish"
Stop!!!! I'd buried the memories, don't bring them back!!
She's my kind of filthy "Positive Moves" indeed.....
I can hear her voice in my head
Okay so we have a strange hotel scene with a maid, some fit hunk of meat and a mopper in the background, the ghost of Angela Lansbury's cameltoe in the window whispering dark thoughts...
This is gonna be epic!
Can I be Angela Lansbury's Cameltoe Tightner?"
Yes but we can't afford the real Angela Lansbury so we'll just get wee Betty from the post-office and stick a ginger wig on her. I'll tell her to make sure wears the thinnest incontinence pad so it doesn't get in the way too much. |
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"
That title never sounded so sexual as it does right now.
Although did you ever see the clip of Angela Lansbury masturbating in the bath? I'm still traumatised.
Seen it? Number 1 in the wank bank, the cameltoe shot in the yoga pants is usually where i "finish"
Stop!!!! I'd buried the memories, don't bring them back!!
She's my kind of filthy "Positive Moves" indeed.....
I can hear her voice in my head
Okay so we have a strange hotel scene with a maid, some fit hunk of meat and a mopper in the background, the ghost of Angela Lansbury's cameltoe in the window whispering dark thoughts...
This is gonna be epic!
Can I be Angela Lansbury's Cameltoe Tightner?
Yes but we can't afford the real Angela Lansbury so we'll just get wee Betty from the post-office and stick a ginger wig on her. I'll tell her to make sure wears the thinnest incontinence pad so it doesn't get in the way too much. "
Is that why she is called "wee Betty"? |
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|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
That title never sounded so sexual as it does right now.
Although did you ever see the clip of Angela Lansbury masturbating in the bath? I'm still traumatised.
Seen it? Number 1 in the wank bank, the cameltoe shot in the yoga pants is usually where i "finish"
Stop!!!! I'd buried the memories, don't bring them back!!
She's my kind of filthy "Positive Moves" indeed.....
I can hear her voice in my head
Okay so we have a strange hotel scene with a maid, some fit hunk of meat and a mopper in the background, the ghost of Angela Lansbury's cameltoe in the window whispering dark thoughts...
This is gonna be epic!
Can I be Angela Lansbury's Cameltoe Tightner?
Yes but we can't afford the real Angela Lansbury so we'll just get wee Betty from the post-office and stick a ginger wig on her. I'll tell her to make sure wears the thinnest incontinence pad so it doesn't get in the way too much.
Is that why she is called "wee Betty"?"
No. She's Scottish  |
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"
That title never sounded so sexual as it does right now.
Although did you ever see the clip of Angela Lansbury masturbating in the bath? I'm still traumatised.
Seen it? Number 1 in the wank bank, the cameltoe shot in the yoga pants is usually where i "finish"
Stop!!!! I'd buried the memories, don't bring them back!!
She's my kind of filthy "Positive Moves" indeed.....
I can hear her voice in my head
Okay so we have a strange hotel scene with a maid, some fit hunk of meat and a mopper in the background, the ghost of Angela Lansbury's cameltoe in the window whispering dark thoughts...
This is gonna be epic!
Can I be Angela Lansbury's Cameltoe Tightner?
Yes but we can't afford the real Angela Lansbury so we'll just get wee Betty from the post-office and stick a ginger wig on her. I'll tell her to make sure wears the thinnest incontinence pad so it doesn't get in the way too much. "
My Nan says she’s available although it’s been a while since she did any acting. She did two seasons of Widow Twanky at the Wolverhampton Grand in her day.
Her Twanky was the talk of the town. |
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"
That title never sounded so sexual as it does right now.
Although did you ever see the clip of Angela Lansbury masturbating in the bath? I'm still traumatised.
Seen it? Number 1 in the wank bank, the cameltoe shot in the yoga pants is usually where i "finish"
Stop!!!! I'd buried the memories, don't bring them back!!
She's my kind of filthy "Positive Moves" indeed.....
I can hear her voice in my head
Okay so we have a strange hotel scene with a maid, some fit hunk of meat and a mopper in the background, the ghost of Angela Lansbury's cameltoe in the window whispering dark thoughts...
This is gonna be epic!
Can I be Angela Lansbury's Cameltoe Tightner?
Yes but we can't afford the real Angela Lansbury so we'll just get wee Betty from the post-office and stick a ginger wig on her. I'll tell her to make sure wears the thinnest incontinence pad so it doesn't get in the way too much.
Is that why she is called "wee Betty"?
No. She's Scottish "
Scotland doesn't really exist, it's a story English people tell their children to scare them into behaving, I'm not falling for that |
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|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
That title never sounded so sexual as it does right now.
Although did you ever see the clip of Angela Lansbury masturbating in the bath? I'm still traumatised.
Seen it? Number 1 in the wank bank, the cameltoe shot in the yoga pants is usually where i "finish"
Stop!!!! I'd buried the memories, don't bring them back!!
She's my kind of filthy "Positive Moves" indeed.....
I can hear her voice in my head
Okay so we have a strange hotel scene with a maid, some fit hunk of meat and a mopper in the background, the ghost of Angela Lansbury's cameltoe in the window whispering dark thoughts...
This is gonna be epic!
Can I be Angela Lansbury's Cameltoe Tightner?
Yes but we can't afford the real Angela Lansbury so we'll just get wee Betty from the post-office and stick a ginger wig on her. I'll tell her to make sure wears the thinnest incontinence pad so it doesn't get in the way too much.
My Nan says she’s available although it’s been a while since she did any acting. She did two seasons of Widow Twanky at the Wolverhampton Grand in her day.
Her Twanky was the talk of the town. "
Does she have a good cameltoe? |
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|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
Scotland doesn't really exist, it's a story English people tell their children to scare them into behaving, I'm not falling for that "
Yes. Because we're all bad here |
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|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I can make cakes and can be a stand in if your desperate
What kinda cakes!?!
Any I love you bake
We'll have a cake buffet! "
Tell you what get the orders in I'll start baking and you can pay me in kind |
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"
My Nan says she’s available although it’s been a while since she did any acting. She did two seasons of Widow Twanky at the Wolverhampton Grand in her day.
Her Twanky was the talk of the town.
Does she have a good cameltoe? "
Now auditioning for the part of Tidow Wanky although Fiddlesticks nan is probably a shoe-in |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"
That title never sounded so sexual as it does right now.
Although did you ever see the clip of Angela Lansbury masturbating in the bath? I'm still traumatised.
Seen it? Number 1 in the wank bank, the cameltoe shot in the yoga pants is usually where i "finish"
Stop!!!! I'd buried the memories, don't bring them back!!
She's my kind of filthy "Positive Moves" indeed.....
I can hear her voice in my head
Okay so we have a strange hotel scene with a maid, some fit hunk of meat and a mopper in the background, the ghost of Angela Lansbury's cameltoe in the window whispering dark thoughts...
This is gonna be epic!
Can I be Angela Lansbury's Cameltoe Tightner?
Yes but we can't afford the real Angela Lansbury so we'll just get wee Betty from the post-office and stick a ginger wig on her. I'll tell her to make sure wears the thinnest incontinence pad so it doesn't get in the way too much.
My Nan says she’s available although it’s been a while since she did any acting. She did two seasons of Widow Twanky at the Wolverhampton Grand in her day.
Her Twanky was the talk of the town.
Does she have a good cameltoe? "
It’s as deep as Grand Canyon and as wet as a summer holiday in Yorkshire.
She does have a touch of chlamydia though but should clear up soon, the boils have erupted. |
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|
By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
I was a runner once on a few sci-fi B movies and then later credited as assistant producer (fx) on another, in this film I made a scene where a wall cried by pumping glycerine through small holes in brick faces bonded to MDF. It looked more like cum than tears , so I think I could be quite useful ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'll keep princess peach away so the male actors can maintain their erections
you're so mean!
I think he wants me to angry fuck him.
P"
I'll take me some off that if he doesnt |
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|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'll keep princess peach away so the male actors can maintain their erections
you're so mean!
I think he wants me to angry fuck him.
P"
I want you to spit on me and call me scum at the same time |
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|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I'll keep princess peach away so the male actors can maintain their erections
you're so mean!
I think he wants me to angry fuck him.
P"
I can see he's got a touch of sissy sub about him, he'll be in his lacy panties quivering in a corner in no time. |
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|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'll keep princess peach away so the male actors can maintain their erections
you're so mean!
I think he wants me to angry fuck him.
P
I want you to spit on me and call me scum at the same time"
P |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I was a runner once on a few sci-fi B movies and then later credited as assistant producer (fx) on another, in this film I made a scene where a wall cried by pumping glycerine through small holes in brick faces bonded to MDF. It looked more like cum than tears , so I think I could be quite useful !"
This porno is turning into a horror film.....
The ghost of Angela Lansbury's clunge pressed against the window, the walls seeping cum, me running around with my mop (I'm going to need a bigger bucket), a buffet fit for a banquet, two diabetics dead in the corner, an honour guard of boingers and some poor couple trying to get it on in the middle of all this madness...
...when do we start filming? |
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|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I was a runner once on a few sci-fi B movies and then later credited as assistant producer (fx) on another, in this film I made a scene where a wall cried by pumping glycerine through small holes in brick faces bonded to MDF. It looked more like cum than tears , so I think I could be quite useful !"
a wall of cum could be handy, we'll work it into the script. |
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|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"We're here to offer our services.
Jo.Xx
Very sexy services they are too
Thank you, where would you like us?
Jo.Xx "
If you just make your way to my trailer I'll be along shortly |
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|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Script ideas try Literotica plenty of stories on there. The author can help with a script etc.
You got the tea maker already. Cool.
"
I think our story is coming along nicely |
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|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Script ideas try Literotica plenty of stories on there. The author can help with a script etc.
You got the tea maker already. Cool.
I think our story is coming along nicely "
Theres a story? 
Like an old school porno? |
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|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
If you need a hairy landscaper hope walk in from doing the garden with mudy hands grabbing a house wife by the hips in her kitchen. And taking her from behind I'll take that roll.
Just gotta find the willing house wife |
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|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I was a runner once on a few sci-fi B movies and then later credited as assistant producer (fx) on another, in this film I made a scene where a wall cried by pumping glycerine through small holes in brick faces bonded to MDF. It looked more like cum than tears , so I think I could be quite useful !
This porno is turning into a horror film.....
The ghost of Angela Lansbury's clunge pressed against the window, the walls seeping cum, me running around with my mop (I'm going to need a bigger bucket), a buffet fit for a banquet, two diabetics dead in the corner, an honour guard of boingers and some poor couple trying to get it on in the middle of all this madness...
...when do we start filming?"
.
Remember we've got blueeyes doing facepainting! Clowns! |
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|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Script ideas try Literotica plenty of stories on there. The author can help with a script etc.
You got the tea maker already. Cool.
I think our story is coming along nicely
Theres a story?
Like an old school porno?"
Yes, I'm a lady, we need context to our wank material. |
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|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"If you need a hairy landscaper hope walk in from doing the garden with mudy hands grabbing a house wife by the hips in her kitchen. And taking her from behind I'll take that roll.
Just gotta find the willing house wife "
Fiddlestick's nan can play that role too. |
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or View forums list | |
"We're here to offer our services.
Jo.Xx
Very sexy services they are too
Thank you, where would you like us?
Jo.Xx
If you just make your way to my trailer I'll be along shortly "
May I jump in your shower please, I've been stuck in cheeky's shop all night?!
Jo.Xx |
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|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"We're here to offer our services.
Jo.Xx
Very sexy services they are too
Thank you, where would you like us?
Jo.Xx
If you just make your way to my trailer I'll be along shortly
May I jump in your shower please, I've been stuck in cheeky's shop all night?!
Jo.Xx "
Of course. Don't lock the door |
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|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Script ideas try Literotica plenty of stories on there. The author can help with a script etc.
You got the tea maker already. Cool.
I think our story is coming along nicely
Theres a story?
Like an old school porno?
Yes, I'm a lady, we need context to our wank material. "
Fair enough....let me know when you want me to take part! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I was a runner once on a few sci-fi B movies and then later credited as assistant producer (fx) on another, in this film I made a scene where a wall cried by pumping glycerine through small holes in brick faces bonded to MDF. It looked more like cum than tears , so I think I could be quite useful !
This porno is turning into a horror film.....
The ghost of Angela Lansbury's clunge pressed against the window, the walls seeping cum, me running around with my mop (I'm going to need a bigger bucket), a buffet fit for a banquet, two diabetics dead in the corner, an honour guard of boingers and some poor couple trying to get it on in the middle of all this madness...
...when do we start filming?
.
Remember we've got blueeyes doing facepainting! Clowns! "
Overowrked mop-boy looks up from his bucket, clutches the mob to his pectus excavatum, ignores the oosing walls and the smeary clunge stained window, looks across to the baffled couple on the hotel bed and
Isn't it rich?
Are we a pair?
Me here at last on the ground,
Angela Lansbury's clunge in mid-air,
Where are the clowns? |
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|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If you need a hairy landscaper hope walk in from doing the garden with mudy hands grabbing a house wife by the hips in her kitchen. And taking her from behind I'll take that roll.
Just gotta find the willing house wife
Fiddlestick's nan can play that role too. "
Works for me |
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or View forums list | |
"If you need a hairy landscaper hope walk in from doing the garden with mudy hands grabbing a house wife by the hips in her kitchen. And taking her from behind I'll take that roll.
Just gotta find the willing house wife
Fiddlestick's nan can play that role too. "
She’s quite excited by the whole idea, she’s says it will be great to blow the cobwebs away. |
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|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I was a runner once on a few sci-fi B movies and then later credited as assistant producer (fx) on another, in this film I made a scene where a wall cried by pumping glycerine through small holes in brick faces bonded to MDF. It looked more like cum than tears , so I think I could be quite useful !
This porno is turning into a horror film.....
The ghost of Angela Lansbury's clunge pressed against the window, the walls seeping cum, me running around with my mop (I'm going to need a bigger bucket), a buffet fit for a banquet, two diabetics dead in the corner, an honour guard of boingers and some poor couple trying to get it on in the middle of all this madness...
...when do we start filming?
.
Remember we've got blueeyes doing facepainting! Clowns!
Overowrked mop-boy looks up from his bucket, clutches the mob to his pectus excavatum, ignores the oosing walls and the smeary clunge stained window, looks across to the baffled couple on the hotel bed and
Isn't it rich?
Are we a pair?
Me here at last on the ground,
Angela Lansbury's clunge in mid-air,
Where are the clowns?"
|
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or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If you need a hairy landscaper hope walk in from doing the garden with mudy hands grabbing a house wife by the hips in her kitchen. And taking her from behind I'll take that roll.
Just gotta find the willing house wife
Fiddlestick's nan can play that role too.
She’s quite excited by the whole idea, she’s says it will be great to blow the cobwebs away. "
Ok ok I'll bring my leaf blower with me |
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