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I fucked my mates ex Have I fucked up??
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So I’ve always had this thing for this bird. Even before he got with her. But they split up late last year and i got real close with her. We fucked!! Have I messed up here or what??
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So I’ve always had this thing for this bird. Even before he got with her. But they split up late last year and i got real close with her. We fucked!! Have I messed up here or what??
"
Majorly! |
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I did it a few years back. They are still best mates, but id go visiting when they were together and chat more to her, so when they split it was inevitable something woukd happen. Saw her a few times, and still see her now, but nothing happens anymore |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would say you fucked up, royally. For me that's a line I would never cross, I value my friendships immensely and I wouldn't want to jeopardise them by getting involved with their exes or family members  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Boy code with this fella went out the window years ago. He’s never been one for it and has kinda done me in the past with it. But this girl I really like.... which is even worse right!? |
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"Boy code with this fella went out the window years ago. He’s never been one for it and has kinda done me in the past with it. But this girl I really like.... which is even worse right!? "
sounds like the pair of yous don’t have any morals
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Boy code with this fella went out the window years ago. He’s never been one for it and has kinda done me in the past with it. But this girl I really like.... which is even worse right!? sounds like the pair of yous don’t have any morals "
And their not as close friends as he thought |
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Well I think it depends on a number of factors
How good is your friendship?
Why did they split up?
Was he cut up about it?
Did he ..
Oh fuck it ... who am I trying to kid, yup... fucked up ... the code man!!! The code!!!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well I think it depends on a number of factors
How good is your friendship?
Why did they split up?
Was he cut up about it?
Did he ..
Oh fuck it ... who am I trying to kid, yup... fucked up ... the code man!!! The code!!!! "
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"So I’ve always had this thing for this bird. Even before he got with her. But they split up late last year and i got real close with her. We fucked!! Have I messed up here or what??
"
No shes his ex so no reason why you cant have a friendship/ relationship with her now |
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"Boy code with this fella went out the window years ago. He’s never been one for it and has kinda done me in the past with it. But this girl I really like.... which is even worse right!? "
Kinda done you in the past - please explain so we can compare both situations. |
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"So I’ve always had this thing for this bird. Even before he got with her. But they split up late last year and i got real close with her. We fucked!! Have I messed up here or what??
No shes his ex so no reason why you cant have a friendship/ relationship with her now "
well why doesn’t op tell his mate ? Because he knows it’s wrong especially when it’s only been a few months since the split it’s a bit shady especially if they are mates |
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By *essie.Woman
over a year ago
Serendipity |
I must have really messed with the code then, my ex hubby was really good friends with my bf of a few years. They weren’t friends though once we got together, but he’d asked my ex hubby to look after me. He just did it too well.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Sorry they split up 8-9 months ago. That’s my bad... and they weren’t together very long. And we’re not close friends. I know I’m trying to make it sound better but it is what it is right? |
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"You fucked after they had split up?
Yeah recently.... "
You should of maybe ran it by your mate, dependant upon how close you are.
People have done much worse though so we wouldn't worry yourself too much. |
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Of course you fucked up. Regardless of how long ago they split up and even if my mate was in a new relationship it’s still a line I couldn’t and wouldn’t cross. A mate’s Ex is off limits, I thought that was just common sense. |
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"So I’ve always had this thing for this bird. Even before he got with her. But they split up late last year and i got real close with her. We fucked!! Have I messed up here or what??
No shes his ex so no reason why you cant have a friendship/ relationship with her now well why doesn’t op tell his mate ? Because he knows it’s wrong especially when it’s only been a few months since the split it’s a bit shady especially if they are mates "
perhaps because its no ones business other than his & the females.
Im sure if its going to be a regular thing or turn into a relationship then he can choose whether he wants to tell his friend or not.
if its only going to be a one off thing then no one needs to know |
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"Of course you fucked up. Regardless of how long ago they split up and even if my mate was in a new relationship it’s still a line I couldn’t and wouldn’t cross. A mate’s Ex is off limits, I thought that was just common sense."
Depends on circumstances. Some people will be absoloutely fine about their mate going with their ex. We have friends like this and one couple are now married and his mate was their best man at their wedding. Each individual is different. No set rules in life. |
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Men don't own women or female family members, who their exes choose to date or have sex with is not their business. I can't believe that in 2020 people are suggesting that a man should ask another man's permission to have sex with a woman |
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"Of course you fucked up. Regardless of how long ago they split up and even if my mate was in a new relationship it’s still a line I couldn’t and wouldn’t cross. A mate’s Ex is off limits, I thought that was just common sense.
Depends on circumstances. Some people will be absoloutely fine about their mate going with their ex. We have friends like this and one couple are now married and his mate was their best man at their wedding. Each individual is different. No set rules in life."
Absolutely and I respect and understand than not every scenario/situation is the same. I guess that’s just my personal opinion which obviously isn’t right or wrong as there are often many variables but it’s just something I wouldn’t do as I think it crosses a line. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don't you boys have boy code??
Yea its like rule 2 of the bro code
I feel like I might regret asking this. What’s rule 1...?"
Dont sleep with a mates current girlfriend |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you value your mate less than dipping your dick then your fine. Personally my mates friendships are not worth jeopardising for a fuck but don’t know the intricacies. |
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"Friends like you aren't friends.Theres unwritten rules in friendships and you crossed one big time  "
Why? Genuine question, why is a man having consensual sex with a woman anyone's business but theirs? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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100% not fucking right. Hope he has some bollocks and tells his mate before he finds out another way and kicks the shit of of him. Either way your getting at least a punch |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Friends like you aren't friends.Theres unwritten rules in friendships and you crossed one big time
Why? Genuine question, why is a man having consensual sex with a woman anyone's business but theirs? "
It's the business of his friend as friends should be there for each other not be there for there own gain.Next he will be piecing together his friends discarded bank statements out of the bin.Its just morally wrong and if you can't see that then you obviously think anything is fair game with regards to loyalty and friendship |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you feel it would hurt your friend then yes, you fucked up.
If your mate wouldn't be fussed by it then no, you haven't fucked up.
However... if you could see yourself having a serious relationship with said bird, then that may just be something your friend will need to see past to maintain your friendship, as your happiness should matter to them.
It's one of those sit down and talk things, if you're serious about the lady and your friend and want them both to remain in your life.
Who knows, he could find out and say "she's an alright shag ain't she bruv" or he could clock you square on the nose if he feels you crossed the line, especially if he still has feelings for her.
P |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I personally haven't & wouldn't have sex with anyone my friends been with. My friends & even sister however have been with people I've been with.
We all have different rules. Your own can't be dictated for everyone else to abide by. |
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"Friends like you aren't friends.Theres unwritten rules in friendships and you crossed one big time
Why? Genuine question, why is a man having consensual sex with a woman anyone's business but theirs?
It's the business of his friend as friends should be there for each other not be there for there own gain.Next he will be piecing together his friends discarded bank statements out of the bin.Its just morally wrong and if you can't see that then you obviously think anything is fair game with regards to loyalty and friendship "
That's a bit of a jump to make both on my attitude to loyalty and friendship and piecing together bank statements |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Friends like you aren't friends.Theres unwritten rules in friendships and you crossed one big time
Why? Genuine question, why is a man having consensual sex with a woman anyone's business but theirs?
It's the business of his friend as friends should be there for each other not be there for there own gain.Next he will be piecing together his friends discarded bank statements out of the bin.Its just morally wrong and if you can't see that then you obviously think anything is fair game with regards to loyalty and friendship
That's a bit of a jump to make both on my attitude to loyalty and friendship and piecing together bank statements"
Well you clearly have no limits on friendship and loyalty so nothing would shock a friend If you treat them that way.Im surprised you even needed to ask if you've done wrong |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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On fab, for some, sharing is caring. Outside fab, depending if he’s your best buddy, being a good or close friend you turn to, then the friendship should be your priority, otherwise that friendship doesn’t mean that much to you. My best friend means everything to me, I value our friendship more than a fuck with a guy she’s been with regardless of ‘how long’. If I really liked him... I need her in my life more.
Being honest... the mere fact you posted asking gives you the answer you don’t want. Or your looking for validation, which you also potentially already know you won’t get. Never been in your situation (thank gawd, but also wouldn’t consider going there).
As for others comments ‘she’s fair game’... that’s another story!
No disrespect intended. Each to their own and that’s my tuppence worth  |
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"Friends like you aren't friends.Theres unwritten rules in friendships and you crossed one big time
Why? Genuine question, why is a man having consensual sex with a woman anyone's business but theirs?
It's the business of his friend as friends should be there for each other not be there for there own gain.Next he will be piecing together his friends discarded bank statements out of the bin.Its just morally wrong and if you can't see that then you obviously think anything is fair game with regards to loyalty and friendship
That's a bit of a jump to make both on my attitude to loyalty and friendship and piecing together bank statements
Well you clearly have no limits on friendship and loyalty so nothing would shock a friend If you treat them that way.Im surprised you even needed to ask if you've done wrong "
I think you are misunderstanding my question to you which was designed to provoke discussion not comments on my qualities of loyalty as a friend.
I think it best we leave it here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Friends like you aren't friends.Theres unwritten rules in friendships and you crossed one big time
Why? Genuine question, why is a man having consensual sex with a woman anyone's business but theirs?
It's the business of his friend as friends should be there for each other not be there for there own gain.Next he will be piecing together his friends discarded bank statements out of the bin.Its just morally wrong and if you can't see that then you obviously think anything is fair game with regards to loyalty and friendship
That's a bit of a jump to make both on my attitude to loyalty and friendship and piecing together bank statements
Well you clearly have no limits on friendship and loyalty so nothing would shock a friend If you treat them that way.Im surprised you even needed to ask if you've done wrong
I think you are misunderstanding my question to you which was designed to provoke discussion not comments on my qualities of loyalty as a friend.
I think it best we leave it here."
I didn't misunderstand your question.You asked if you had messed up.My opinion and I think anyone else that has morals and loyalty to friends would say you've crossed the line big time.So my answer is yes you've messed up |
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"Friends like you aren't friends.Theres unwritten rules in friendships and you crossed one big time
Why? Genuine question, why is a man having consensual sex with a woman anyone's business but theirs?
It's the business of his friend as friends should be there for each other not be there for there own gain.Next he will be piecing together his friends discarded bank statements out of the bin.Its just morally wrong and if you can't see that then you obviously think anything is fair game with regards to loyalty and friendship
That's a bit of a jump to make both on my attitude to loyalty and friendship and piecing together bank statements
Well you clearly have no limits on friendship and loyalty so nothing would shock a friend If you treat them that way.Im surprised you even needed to ask if you've done wrong
I think you are misunderstanding my question to you which was designed to provoke discussion not comments on my qualities of loyalty as a friend.
I think it best we leave it here.
I didn't misunderstand your question.You asked if you had messed up.My opinion and I think anyone else that has morals and loyalty to friends would say you've crossed the line big time.So my answer is yes you've messed up "
I
I am not the person who started the thread, if you go to the top of the page you will see that.
As I said, I think we should leave it here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Friends like you aren't friends.Theres unwritten rules in friendships and you crossed one big time
Why? Genuine question, why is a man having consensual sex with a woman anyone's business but theirs?
It's the business of his friend as friends should be there for each other not be there for there own gain.Next he will be piecing together his friends discarded bank statements out of the bin.Its just morally wrong and if you can't see that then you obviously think anything is fair game with regards to loyalty and friendship
That's a bit of a jump to make both on my attitude to loyalty and friendship and piecing together bank statements
Well you clearly have no limits on friendship and loyalty so nothing would shock a friend If you treat them that way.Im surprised you even needed to ask if you've done wrong
I think you are misunderstanding my question to you which was designed to provoke discussion not comments on my qualities of loyalty as a friend.
I think it best we leave it here.
I didn't misunderstand your question.You asked if you had messed up.My opinion and I think anyone else that has morals and loyalty to friends would say you've crossed the line big time.So my answer is yes you've messed up I
I am not the person who started the thread, if you go to the top of the page you will see that.
As I said, I think we should leave it here."
Sorry lol  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So I’ve always had this thing for this bird. Even before he got with her. But they split up late last year and i got real close with her. We fucked!! Have I messed up here or what??
"
Ask your mate.
Mrs |
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Do you think it is wrong OP? She is his ex, so maybe you should be asking why you can't be honest with your friend, in a mature way. This sounds like you getting revenge on your friend for unresolved issues. You both sound like shit friends.
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"Do you think it is wrong OP? She is his ex, so maybe you should be asking why you can't be honest with your friend, in a mature way. This sounds like you getting revenge on your friend for unresolved issues. You both sound like shit friends.
"
This is why I have 3 friends and all of them are women. |
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"So I’ve always had this thing for this bird. Even before he got with her. But they split up late last year and i got real close with her. We fucked!! Have I messed up here or what??
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Only by starting the sentence with so, which wasn’t required and the superfluous ? at the end. Other than those I’d say you’ve done nothing wrong.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So I’ve always had this thing for this bird. Even before he got with her. But they split up late last year and i got real close with her. We fucked!! Have I messed up here or what??
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They’d already split up, don’t see a problem. Put the boot on the other foot, what if he’d got it on with your ex.
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"Question to all the ladies saying no you shouldn't, you're a bad friend or whatever.
Would you be happy that an ex had control of your sex life and could veto people?"
This is my point.
I honestly don't think anything has changed since 1520 where men's feelings of ownership towards women and their sex life is concerned. |
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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago
Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro |
"Question to all the ladies saying no you shouldn't, you're a bad friend or whatever.
Would you be happy that an ex had control of your sex life and could veto people?
This is my point.
I honestly don't think anything has changed since 1520 where men's feelings of ownership towards women and their sex life is concerned."
In my opinion its not about the women involved or owning her sex life more to do with respecting your friend. Treating others how you would like to be treated.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Question to all the ladies saying no you shouldn't, you're a bad friend or whatever.
Would you be happy that an ex had control of your sex life and could veto people?
This is my point.
I honestly don't think anything has changed since 1520 where men's feelings of ownership towards women and their sex life is concerned.
In my opinion its not about the women involved or owning her sex life more to do with respecting your friend. Treating others how you would like to be treated. "
he's lost touch with his friend he's in the navy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some real hyperbole in here. So he's not a close friend, they were together five minutes and they split 8 months ago. It's not really an issue. Fill your boots IMO |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some real hyperbole in here. So he's not a close friend, they were together five minutes and they split 8 months ago. It's not really an issue. Fill your boots IMO"
yes fill your boots |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some real hyperbole in here. So he's not a close friend, they were together five minutes and they split 8 months ago. It's not really an issue. Fill your boots IMO"
Chances are in local areas or friend groups everyone will know someone that shagged/dated someone else, we would never be allowed to meet anyone |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So I’ve always had this thing for this bird. Even before he got with her. But they split up late last year and i got real close with her. We fucked!! Have I messed up here or what??
"
nahh! She's a free agent, not cheating at all |
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"Question to all the ladies saying no you shouldn't, you're a bad friend or whatever.
Would you be happy that an ex had control of your sex life and could veto people?
This is my point.
I honestly don't think anything has changed since 1520 where men's feelings of ownership towards women and their sex life is concerned.
In my opinion its not about the women involved or owning her sex life more to do with respecting your friend. Treating others how you would like to be treated. "
I genuinely wouldn't mind if a friend of mine had sex with an ex partner. I might be a bit if Mr N and I split up and my best friend went on to have sex with him but I still wouldn't think it was any of my business or disrespectful to me in any way. |
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