FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Men who have had the snip
Men who have had the snip
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Why did you get it done?
Was it an easy decision to come to?
My friend has just turned 30 and has cysts on her ovaries. She’s in immense pain, especially when she gets her period. She’s on loads of medication, is off work pretty much once a month and can’t function properly.
But she has been refused twice now to have a hysterectomy as she’s only 30 and is married. One doctor asked to speak to her husband first to make sure he “agreed to it” !!
Not that it matters, but she already has two children. She would like more, but she’s accepted it’s not to be, and is focused on trying to get a hysterectomy.
Men - was it this difficult for you? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This makes me rage and is so common.
"You might change your mind"
"Does your husband agree"
Blah blah blah
She should go and tell them straight. Her body, her decisions."
They do the same with men. They want to see the wife if they’re a certain age. Well they did anyway. It was a while ago. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"This makes me rage and is so common.
"You might change your mind"
"Does your husband agree"
Blah blah blah
She should go and tell them straight. Her body, her decisions."
I think she has another referral soon, but yeah. It’s a bloody joke |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"This makes me rage and is so common.
"You might change your mind"
"Does your husband agree"
Blah blah blah
She should go and tell them straight. Her body, her decisions.
They do the same with men. They want to see the wife if they’re a certain age. Well they did anyway. It was a while ago. "
Nora type your name into the forum search  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This makes me rage and is so common.
"You might change your mind"
"Does your husband agree"
Blah blah blah
She should go and tell them straight. Her body, her decisions.
They do the same with men. They want to see the wife if they’re a certain age. Well they did anyway. It was a while ago.
Nora type your name into the forum search "
Wtf!!!!! lol |
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By *mberWoman
over a year ago
Preston |
"This makes me rage and is so common.
"You might change your mind"
"Does your husband agree"
Blah blah blah
She should go and tell them straight. Her body, her decisions.
They do the same with men. They want to see the wife if they’re a certain age. Well they did anyway. It was a while ago. "
Not in the same way they do with women. I've never heard of a man being refused. I know of women who've been refused. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"This makes me rage and is so common.
"You might change your mind"
"Does your husband agree"
Blah blah blah
She should go and tell them straight. Her body, her decisions.
They do the same with men. They want to see the wife if they’re a certain age. Well they did anyway. It was a while ago.
Nora type your name into the forum search
Wtf!!!!! lol "
At least it isn’t prawns  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This makes me rage and is so common.
"You might change your mind"
"Does your husband agree"
Blah blah blah
She should go and tell them straight. Her body, her decisions.
They do the same with men. They want to see the wife if they’re a certain age. Well they did anyway. It was a while ago.
Not in the same way they do with women. I've never heard of a man being refused. I know of women who've been refused."
I have. Without seeing his wife first they refused him. |
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The hubby got the snip straight away as I nearly died an are son when I was giveing birthday are son was 3 months premature an I have a rare blood disorder an the doctor told us if I have anymore children I would more than likely die but wouldn't do anything for me as I was 25 but as danny was 35 they give him the snip so he went in a few weeks later an had it done |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The hubby got the snip straight away as I nearly died an are son when I was giveing birthday are son was 3 months premature an I have a rare blood disorder an the doctor told us if I have anymore children I would more than likely die but wouldn't do anything for me as I was 25 but as danny was 35 they give him the snip so he went in a few weeks later an had it done"
Oh bless you x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No it wasn’t difficult I had it done 12 years ago. They didn’t even ask to see or speak to any partner. In and out in 3 hours no swelling or time off of work.
However I do know 3 people that their balls swelled like melons and were in pain for a couple of days  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I made the decision to have the snip after the birth of my son 33 years ago as my then wife had suffered quite a lot during the pregnancy. Don’t regret having it done. |
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By *mberWoman
over a year ago
Preston |
"This makes me rage and is so common.
"You might change your mind"
"Does your husband agree"
Blah blah blah
She should go and tell them straight. Her body, her decisions.
They do the same with men. They want to see the wife if they’re a certain age. Well they did anyway. It was a while ago.
Not in the same way they do with women. I've never heard of a man being refused. I know of women who've been refused.
I have. Without seeing his wife first they refused him. "
I'm talking point blank refusal.
I don't even think your spouse should have to agree. I think they should have to be aware but I don't think they should have to agree. Regardless of your gender. (This isn't an ideal relationship, I get that, but we don't own someone because we marry them) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No it wasn’t difficult I had it done 12 years ago. They didn’t even ask to see or speak to any partner. In and out in 3 hours no swelling or time off of work.
However I do know 3 people that their balls swelled like melons and were in pain for a couple of days "
Oh yes black balls for a week or so after ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oh wow! I felt bad enough taking the cat to have his knackers removed, no way would I even consider asking a partner that!!  "
I know there is no removal of knackers but still, why make him do it unless it is for his own health and benefit |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wouldnt do it as I am a christian.I wouldnt do it anyway as I like the skin 
I think you’re thinking of circumsision"
I think I spelt that totally wrong  |
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By *killsMan
over a year ago
Never Never Land |
Like anything you need to give it some thought. For me it was easy. I’ve had a child and didn’t want anymore by accident. My body my choice. Anyone Male or female should be allowed to make their own choice free of judgement or criticism about their own body. |
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By *mberWoman
over a year ago
Preston |
"Oh wow! I felt bad enough taking the cat to have his knackers removed, no way would I even consider asking a partner that!!
I know there is no removal of knackers but still, why make him do it unless it is for his own health and benefit"
Nobody should "make" anyone do anything they don't want to. But a mutual decision or something that a person wants is surely fine.
Do men "make" women take the pill (probably sadly yes in some cases) |
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By *mberWoman
over a year ago
Preston |
"I had it done 2 years ago, I already have 4 siblings and are my age I want anymore.
The process was easy for me, due to the fact I knew the accessing nurse.  "
Please tell me you meant "offspring" not "siblings" |
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The decision was easy as i already had 5 kids .
But i opted for a local anesthetic. The Surgeon had arms on him like a gorilla!
After 40 minutes and three further injections the stopped it .
So 3 days later they knocked me out and did it .
Walked like john wayne for a fortnight. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why did you get it done?
Was it an easy decision to come to?
My friend has just turned 30 and has cysts on her ovaries. She’s in immense pain, especially when she gets her period. She’s on loads of medication, is off work pretty much once a month and can’t function properly.
But she has been refused twice now to have a hysterectomy as she’s only 30 and is married. One doctor asked to speak to her husband first to make sure he “agreed to it” !!
Not that it matters, but she already has two children. She would like more, but she’s accepted it’s not to be, and is focused on trying to get a hysterectomy.
Men - was it this difficult for you?"
for a while, I thought it was a fashion statement to get the snip.... Pretty much every month for over a year another friend or colleague or relative (or their other half) would disclose they d had it.... Seemed to be you just went to gp, asked and were put on the list |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wouldnt do it as I am a christian.I wouldnt do it anyway as I like the skin
I think you’re thinking of circumsision
I think I spelt that totally wrong "
Yes I might think of that too what is the difference tho? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I wouldnt do it as I am a christian.I wouldnt do it anyway as I like the skin
I think you’re thinking of circumsision
I think I spelt that totally wrong Yes I might think of that too what is the difference tho?"
Between circumcision and the snip? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Oh wow! I felt bad enough taking the cat to have his knackers removed, no way would I even consider asking a partner that!!
I know there is no removal of knackers but still, why make him do it unless it is for his own health and benefit
Nobody should "make" anyone do anything they don't want to. But a mutual decision or something that a person wants is surely fine.
Do men "make" women take the pill (probably sadly yes in some cases)"
Completely agree, I worded that wrong, I meant that it would have to be his choice, obviously so |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wouldnt do it as I am a christian.I wouldnt do it anyway as I like the skin
I think you’re thinking of circumsision
I think I spelt that totally wrong Yes I might think of that too what is the difference tho?
Between circumcision and the snip?"
Yes those 2 there. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wouldnt do it as I am a christian.I wouldnt do it anyway as I like the skin
I think you’re thinking of circumsision
I think I spelt that totally wrong Yes I might think of that too what is the difference tho?
Between circumcision and the snip?Yes those 2 there."
One is having your foreskin removed and one is a vasectomy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wouldnt do it as I am a christian.I wouldnt do it anyway as I like the skin
I think you’re thinking of circumsision
I think I spelt that totally wrong Yes I might think of that too what is the difference tho?
Between circumcision and the snip?Yes those 2 there.
One is having your foreskin removed and one is a vasectomy. "
I see and yes a difference there too between them. |
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I know this is about circumsition.but i had really bad polycysic ovarys and when they burst.i used.to end up.in hospital the.last time i was.in.hospital they where talking about.hysterey.I.was.24with. no kids they.gave me a year to think about.it.
In.that year.i met my husband and got pregnant no trouble after that then i had the mirena coil and all my periods stopp |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I wouldnt do it as I am a christian.I wouldnt do it anyway as I like the skin
I think you’re thinking of circumsision
I think I spelt that totally wrong Yes I might think of that too what is the difference tho?
Between circumcision and the snip?Yes those 2 there.
One is having your foreskin removed and one is a vasectomy. I see and yes a difference there too between them."
Yeah! Make sure you get them the correct way round if you ever go to the docs wanting one!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I wish I had it done when I was 16
..it would have saved me a lot of hassles over the years!
You got kiddos?
I had 3 boys. 18, 12 and 8
Awwww"
My 8 year old wasnt even born and I was away to the docs looking to get the snip organised as I was determined not to have anymore. My 18 year old passed away last year leaving a hole in my life. |
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By *rivateparts!Man
over a year ago
Walking down the only road I've ever known! |
"I had it done 2 years ago, I already have 4 siblings and are my age I want anymore.
The process was easy for me, due to the fact I knew the accessing nurse.
Please tell me you meant "offspring" not "siblings""
Yep off spring |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I wish I had it done when I was 16
..it would have saved me a lot of hassles over the years!
You got kiddos?
I had 3 boys. 18, 12 and 8
Awwww
My 8 year old wasnt even born and I was away to the docs looking to get the snip organised as I was determined not to have anymore. My 18 year old passed away last year leaving a hole in my life. "
Oh MrBants  hugs xxx |
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By *mberWoman
over a year ago
Preston |
"I wish I had it done when I was 16
..it would have saved me a lot of hassles over the years!
You got kiddos?
I had 3 boys. 18, 12 and 8
Awwww
My 8 year old wasnt even born and I was away to the docs looking to get the snip organised as I was determined not to have anymore. My 18 year old passed away last year leaving a hole in my life. "
Oh I'm so sorry to hear that. That must be a difficult thing to bear. Much love xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I wish I had it done when I was 16
..it would have saved me a lot of hassles over the years!
You got kiddos?
I had 3 boys. 18, 12 and 8
Awwww
My 8 year old wasnt even born and I was away to the docs looking to get the snip organised as I was determined not to have anymore. My 18 year old passed away last year leaving a hole in my life. "
Oh I’m so sorry. I can’t even begin to imagine how hard that must have been, and still is I’m sure xxx |
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"I wish I had it done when I was 16
..it would have saved me a lot of hassles over the years!
You got kiddos?
I had 3 boys. 18, 12 and 8
Awwww
My 8 year old wasnt even born and I was away to the docs looking to get the snip organised as I was determined not to have anymore. My 18 year old passed away last year leaving a hole in my life. "
Can’t even imagine your pain hugs xx |
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I had to jump through so many hoops to get my hysterectomy it was untrue. I was told I’d never have children naturally but did. Was told I could have hysterectomy at 30. I was nearly 43. I felt I was never taken seriously unless my dad or husband was with me. The consultant that did my op (after I requested a change of gynae) did apologise for the appalling treatment I had received.
Ex husband got his op very easily |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I had to jump through so many hoops to get my hysterectomy it was untrue. I was told I’d never have children naturally but did. Was told I could have hysterectomy at 30. I was nearly 43. I felt I was never taken seriously unless my dad or husband was with me. The consultant that did my op (after I requested a change of gynae) did apologise for the appalling treatment I had received.
Ex husband got his op very easily "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wouldnt do it as I am a christian.I wouldnt do it anyway as I like the skin
I think you’re thinking of circumsision
I think I spelt that totally wrong Yes I might think of that too what is the difference tho?
Between circumcision and the snip?Yes those 2 there.
One is having your foreskin removed and one is a vasectomy. "
True fact. circumcision is unnecessary and there are multiple baby deaths each year over triple figures.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why did you get it done?
Was it an easy decision to come to?
My friend has just turned 30 and has cysts on her ovaries. She’s in immense pain, especially when she gets her period. She’s on loads of medication, is off work pretty much once a month and can’t function properly.
But she has been refused twice now to have a hysterectomy as she’s only 30 and is married. One doctor asked to speak to her husband first to make sure he “agreed to it” !!
Not that it matters, but she already has two children. She would like more, but she’s accepted it’s not to be, and is focused on trying to get a hysterectomy.
Men - was it this difficult for you?"
I’ve had the snip and it hasn’t bothered me one bit ! Had it done as I didn’t want anymore children x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I wouldnt do it as I am a christian.I wouldnt do it anyway as I like the skin
I think you’re thinking of circumsision
I think I spelt that totally wrong Yes I might think of that too what is the difference tho?
Between circumcision and the snip?Yes those 2 there.
One is having your foreskin removed and one is a vasectomy.
True fact. circumcision is unnecessary and there are multiple baby deaths each year over triple figures.."
Not a fact.
Yes a lot of the time it is unnecessary but medically it sometimes is necessary. |
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By *eonnieCouple
over a year ago
Worsley |
"I wish I had it done when I was 16
..it would have saved me a lot of hassles over the years!
You got kiddos?
I had 3 boys. 18, 12 and 8
Awwww
My 8 year old wasnt even born and I was away to the docs looking to get the snip organised as I was determined not to have anymore. My 18 year old passed away last year leaving a hole in my life. "
I am so sorry for your loss |
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By *eonnieCouple
over a year ago
Worsley |
"
One doctor asked to speak to her husband first to make sure he “agreed to it” !!
"
That's horrible! I don't understand the logic behind it at all.
I had to practically beg to be sterilised, I was 38, I had three kids and excruciating pelvic griddle pain in the last two pregnancies. It started earlier in every pregnancy, and I was told that it might not even go away after my daughter was born. It's mostly gone now, but I was worried that if I got pregnant again I would end up with crunches for the rest of my life. Cannot take hormonal contraception and got pregnant on the coil twice, so a sterilisation was a no brainer for me.
A friend has asked for a vasectomy a while ago and they asked him the usual questions about wanting more kids etc. And when he said that both him and his wife are happy with the number of children they already had, they asked him if he considered what would happen if he divorced and met someone else |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
One doctor asked to speak to her husband first to make sure he “agreed to it” !!
That's horrible! I don't understand the logic behind it at all.
I had to practically beg to be sterilised, I was 38, I had three kids and excruciating pelvic griddle pain in the last two pregnancies. It started earlier in every pregnancy, and I was told that it might not even go away after my daughter was born. It's mostly gone now, but I was worried that if I got pregnant again I would end up with crunches for the rest of my life. Cannot take hormonal contraception and got pregnant on the coil twice, so a sterilisation was a no brainer for me.
A friend has asked for a vasectomy a while ago and they asked him the usual questions about wanting more kids etc. And when he said that both him and his wife are happy with the number of children they already had, they asked him if he considered what would happen if he divorced and met someone else "
Oh god I feel for you! |
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"
One doctor asked to speak to her husband first to make sure he “agreed to it” !!
That's horrible! I don't understand the logic behind it at all.
I had to practically beg to be sterilised, I was 38, I had three kids and excruciating pelvic griddle pain in the last two pregnancies. It started earlier in every pregnancy, and I was told that it might not even go away after my daughter was born. It's mostly gone now, but I was worried that if I got pregnant again I would end up with crunches for the rest of my life. Cannot take hormonal contraception and got pregnant on the coil twice, so a sterilisation was a no brainer for me.
A friend has asked for a vasectomy a while ago and they asked him the usual questions about wanting more kids etc. And when he said that both him and his wife are happy with the number of children they already had, they asked him if he considered what would happen if he divorced and met someone else "
We were asked the same question.  |
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"Why did you get it done?
Was it an easy decision to come to?
My friend has just turned 30 and has cysts on her ovaries. She’s in immense pain, especially when she gets her period. She’s on loads of medication, is off work pretty much once a month and can’t function properly.
But she has been refused twice now to have a hysterectomy as she’s only 30 and is married. One doctor asked to speak to her husband first to make sure he “agreed to it” !!
Not that it matters, but she already has two children. She would like more, but she’s accepted it’s not to be, and is focused on trying to get a hysterectomy.
Men - was it this difficult for you?"
A lot of men think they deserve control over womens bodies. I guess we are just cunts. |
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By *essie.Woman
over a year ago
Serendipity |
"
A friend has asked for a vasectomy a while ago and they asked him the usual questions about wanting more kids etc. And when he said that both him and his wife are happy with the number of children they already had, they asked him if he considered what would happen if he divorced and met someone else "
A friend of mine, had a vasectomy at the request of his wife. Turned out she was having an affair all of the time. He then met someone else, vasectomy reversal didn’t work so they had to do IVF which was successful.
A girlfriend was in a relationship, she wanted children, her partner went and had a vasectomy without discussing it with her at all.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've got 3 kids (which I think is enough) so after the birth of our last I asked my wife to sort it out for me (because I'm a man and can't do anything for myself) and when I got to the clinic I got taken to a room by myself so they could ask if i was being forced into this because my wife sounded very forceful while organizing it for me |
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By *andKBCouple
over a year ago
Plymouth |
Been asking since I was 18. Never wanted children. I do love my son, but I wouldn't have felt life was incomplete had I never had him, instead he's been a fantastic surprise.
When I had a mental breakdown early last year one thing I mentioned was anxiety over getting the wife pregnant again it made her so ill last time. Therefore they agreed to get me a vasectomy.
Was an absolute nothing op, back at work two days later, little tender for a week but nothing major. |
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I got thrown out of my doctors for asking for the snip on my 18th birthday.
I never wanted kids and to this day I am glad for myself that I never had any.
I finally managed to get it done aged 34 I think it was.
At the time I had a gf with 3 kids and that was the only reason my doctor agreed to it.
It's so annoying that they dont believe you when you tell them every reason why you know you dont want kids!
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"I got thrown out of my doctors for asking for the snip on my 18th birthday.
I never wanted kids and to this day I am glad for myself that I never had any.
I finally managed to get it done aged 34 I think it was.
At the time I had a gf with 3 kids and that was the only reason my doctor agreed to it.
It's so annoying that they dont believe you when you tell them every reason why you know you dont want kids!
"
Agreed, I want the snip but I know I'll be refused. The last thing this world needs is a little version of me running around |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why did you get it done?
Was it an easy decision to come to?
My friend has just turned 30 and has cysts on her ovaries. She’s in immense pain, especially when she gets her period. She’s on loads of medication, is off work pretty much once a month and can’t function properly.
But she has been refused twice now to have a hysterectomy as she’s only 30 and is married. One doctor asked to speak to her husband first to make sure he “agreed to it” !!
Not that it matters, but she already has two children. She would like more, but she’s accepted it’s not to be, and is focused on trying to get a hysterectomy.
Men - was it this difficult for you?
A lot of men think they deserve control over womens bodies. I guess we are just cunts."
I really do think people overthink/overreact these days! I don’t think anyone is trying to control anyone’s body in these situations! It was always normal practice for a doctor to want to see both partners. Of course everyone has a right to decide for themselves. It was just general chat. It’s a big decision. Just questions like what if you lost a child, what if you separated and wanted children with someone else etc. All this “how dare they talk to the partner, how dare a man try and control what a woman wants!” That’s not what it is! I can’t believe some of these comments on here. |
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"I got thrown out of my doctors for asking for the snip on my 18th birthday.
I never wanted kids and to this day I am glad for myself that I never had any.
I finally managed to get it done aged 34 I think it was.
At the time I had a gf with 3 kids and that was the only reason my doctor agreed to it.
It's so annoying that they dont believe you when you tell them every reason why you know you dont want kids!
Agreed, I want the snip but I know I'll be refused. The last thing this world needs is a little version of me running around "
Go private one of my friends who has no children wanted one so went private |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was 29 when I had the snip I have 5 children and when I first went to see the doctor they asked all sorts of questions asking of your children all died in a car crash would you want more?
My answer was no you cannot replace them.
Then they asked if my wife died and you met someone else what if they want children?
I said well I have 5 children If I met someone else and see wanted her own children it wouldn't be with me 5 is enough for anyone!!!
So they said ok and I got the snip.
Sadly my wife did pass away 4 years after that but I still wouldn't want more children and I am not looking to meet anyone to replace my wife as their mum.
Now I'm happily firing blanks with no risk for fathering more children i love my children to bits but I'd never want more. Heaven knows I wouldn't be able to afford more lol |
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"Why did you get it done?
Was it an easy decision to come to?
My friend has just turned 30 and has cysts on her ovaries. She’s in immense pain, especially when she gets her period. She’s on loads of medication, is off work pretty much once a month and can’t function properly.
But she has been refused twice now to have a hysterectomy as she’s only 30 and is married. One doctor asked to speak to her husband first to make sure he “agreed to it” !!
Not that it matters, but she already has two children. She would like more, but she’s accepted it’s not to be, and is focused on trying to get a hysterectomy.
Men - was it this difficult for you?
A lot of men think they deserve control over womens bodies. I guess we are just cunts.
I really do think people overthink/overreact these days! I don’t think anyone is trying to control anyone’s body in these situations! It was always normal practice for a doctor to want to see both partners. Of course everyone has a right to decide for themselves. It was just general chat. It’s a big decision. Just questions like what if you lost a child, what if you separated and wanted children with someone else etc. All this “how dare they talk to the partner, how dare a man try and control what a woman wants!” That’s not what it is! I can’t believe some of these comments on here. "
It was meant to be tongue in cheek but that seems to be lost. However to think that people arent out for control seems a little naive to me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why did you get it done?
Was it an easy decision to come to?
My friend has just turned 30 and has cysts on her ovaries. She’s in immense pain, especially when she gets her period. She’s on loads of medication, is off work pretty much once a month and can’t function properly.
But she has been refused twice now to have a hysterectomy as she’s only 30 and is married. One doctor asked to speak to her husband first to make sure he “agreed to it” !!
Not that it matters, but she already has two children. She would like more, but she’s accepted it’s not to be, and is focused on trying to get a hysterectomy.
Men - was it this difficult for you?
A lot of men think they deserve control over womens bodies. I guess we are just cunts.
I really do think people overthink/overreact these days! I don’t think anyone is trying to control anyone’s body in these situations! It was always normal practice for a doctor to want to see both partners. Of course everyone has a right to decide for themselves. It was just general chat. It’s a big decision. Just questions like what if you lost a child, what if you separated and wanted children with someone else etc. All this “how dare they talk to the partner, how dare a man try and control what a woman wants!” That’s not what it is! I can’t believe some of these comments on here.
It was meant to be tongue in cheek but that seems to be lost. However to think that people arent out for control seems a little naive to me."
No it’s not naivety. Don’t be ridiculous. It’s not just your comment that I’m referring to. Why is it outrageous/disgusting to want to see a married couple together when one is wanting to be sterilised? |
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"Why did you get it done?
Was it an easy decision to come to?
My friend has just turned 30 and has cysts on her ovaries. She’s in immense pain, especially when she gets her period. She’s on loads of medication, is off work pretty much once a month and can’t function properly.
But she has been refused twice now to have a hysterectomy as she’s only 30 and is married. One doctor asked to speak to her husband first to make sure he “agreed to it” !!
Not that it matters, but she already has two children. She would like more, but she’s accepted it’s not to be, and is focused on trying to get a hysterectomy.
Men - was it this difficult for you?
A lot of men think they deserve control over womens bodies. I guess we are just cunts.
I really do think people overthink/overreact these days! I don’t think anyone is trying to control anyone’s body in these situations! It was always normal practice for a doctor to want to see both partners. Of course everyone has a right to decide for themselves. It was just general chat. It’s a big decision. Just questions like what if you lost a child, what if you separated and wanted children with someone else etc. All this “how dare they talk to the partner, how dare a man try and control what a woman wants!” That’s not what it is! I can’t believe some of these comments on here.
It was meant to be tongue in cheek but that seems to be lost. However to think that people arent out for control seems a little naive to me.
No it’s not naivety. Don’t be ridiculous. It’s not just your comment that I’m referring to. Why is it outrageous/disgusting to want to see a married couple together when one is wanting to be sterilised? "
Because it's their body, their choice. The whole idea of marriage is outdated and should be made obsolete anyway. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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(Him) It was an easy decision, and we took it jointly, I have three children from my first marriage, she has one. Plus the small matter that a blood clot on the brain, from taking the pill, nearly killed her!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why did you get it done?
Was it an easy decision to come to?
My friend has just turned 30 and has cysts on her ovaries. She’s in immense pain, especially when she gets her period. She’s on loads of medication, is off work pretty much once a month and can’t function properly.
But she has been refused twice now to have a hysterectomy as she’s only 30 and is married. One doctor asked to speak to her husband first to make sure he “agreed to it” !!
Not that it matters, but she already has two children. She would like more, but she’s accepted it’s not to be, and is focused on trying to get a hysterectomy.
Men - was it this difficult for you?
A lot of men think they deserve control over womens bodies. I guess we are just cunts.
I really do think people overthink/overreact these days! I don’t think anyone is trying to control anyone’s body in these situations! It was always normal practice for a doctor to want to see both partners. Of course everyone has a right to decide for themselves. It was just general chat. It’s a big decision. Just questions like what if you lost a child, what if you separated and wanted children with someone else etc. All this “how dare they talk to the partner, how dare a man try and control what a woman wants!” That’s not what it is! I can’t believe some of these comments on here.
It was meant to be tongue in cheek but that seems to be lost. However to think that people arent out for control seems a little naive to me.
No it’s not naivety. Don’t be ridiculous. It’s not just your comment that I’m referring to. Why is it outrageous/disgusting to want to see a married couple together when one is wanting to be sterilised?
Because it's their body, their choice. The whole idea of marriage is outdated and should be made obsolete anyway."
Oh for goodness sake. Of course it’s ultimately their choice! Nobody is saying it isn’t. Marriage doesn’t always mean one controls the other you know. |
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"Why did you get it done?
Was it an easy decision to come to?
My friend has just turned 30 and has cysts on her ovaries. She’s in immense pain, especially when she gets her period. She’s on loads of medication, is off work pretty much once a month and can’t function properly.
But she has been refused twice now to have a hysterectomy as she’s only 30 and is married. One doctor asked to speak to her husband first to make sure he “agreed to it” !!
Not that it matters, but she already has two children. She would like more, but she’s accepted it’s not to be, and is focused on trying to get a hysterectomy.
Men - was it this difficult for you?
A lot of men think they deserve control over womens bodies. I guess we are just cunts.
I really do think people overthink/overreact these days! I don’t think anyone is trying to control anyone’s body in these situations! It was always normal practice for a doctor to want to see both partners. Of course everyone has a right to decide for themselves. It was just general chat. It’s a big decision. Just questions like what if you lost a child, what if you separated and wanted children with someone else etc. All this “how dare they talk to the partner, how dare a man try and control what a woman wants!” That’s not what it is! I can’t believe some of these comments on here.
It was meant to be tongue in cheek but that seems to be lost. However to think that people arent out for control seems a little naive to me.
No it’s not naivety. Don’t be ridiculous. It’s not just your comment that I’m referring to. Why is it outrageous/disgusting to want to see a married couple together when one is wanting to be sterilised?
Because it's their body, their choice. The whole idea of marriage is outdated and should be made obsolete anyway.
Oh for goodness sake. Of course it’s ultimately their choice! Nobody is saying it isn’t. Marriage doesn’t always mean one controls the other you know. "
Did mine myself... pliers and a mirror... being ex navy I can tie knots |
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By *ad steMan
over a year ago
Southport |
I have had the snip at the age of 24 was asking for it at 16 I didn't want kids glad I got it done no regrets I have one son it is a very personal decision that is yours alone all tho if there is a long term partner involved then a bit of respect for there feelings I suppose |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why did you get it done?
Was it an easy decision to come to?
My friend has just turned 30 and has cysts on her ovaries. She’s in immense pain, especially when she gets her period. She’s on loads of medication, is off work pretty much once a month and can’t function properly.
But she has been refused twice now to have a hysterectomy as she’s only 30 and is married. One doctor asked to speak to her husband first to make sure he “agreed to it” !!
Not that it matters, but she already has two children. She would like more, but she’s accepted it’s not to be, and is focused on trying to get a hysterectomy.
Men - was it this difficult for you?
A lot of men think they deserve control over womens bodies. I guess we are just cunts.
I really do think people overthink/overreact these days! I don’t think anyone is trying to control anyone’s body in these situations! It was always normal practice for a doctor to want to see both partners. Of course everyone has a right to decide for themselves. It was just general chat. It’s a big decision. Just questions like what if you lost a child, what if you separated and wanted children with someone else etc. All this “how dare they talk to the partner, how dare a man try and control what a woman wants!” That’s not what it is! I can’t believe some of these comments on here.
It was meant to be tongue in cheek but that seems to be lost. However to think that people arent out for control seems a little naive to me.
No it’s not naivety. Don’t be ridiculous. It’s not just your comment that I’m referring to. Why is it outrageous/disgusting to want to see a married couple together when one is wanting to be sterilised?
Because it's their body, their choice. The whole idea of marriage is outdated and should be made obsolete anyway.
Oh for goodness sake. Of course it’s ultimately their choice! Nobody is saying it isn’t. Marriage doesn’t always mean one controls the other you know.
Did mine myself... pliers and a mirror... being ex navy I can tie knots"
Well I did offer with a couple of bricks but he was having none of it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Make sure her husband agreed to it?
Yep  "
I think the doctor maybe meant to have said
“have you discussed and thought about this with your husband? This is a big step as I’m sure you’re aware and may affect the dynamics of your family. But rem_mber you’re free and independent to make your own choice and as a medical professional I’m here to advise you as per the best course of action that I know of and to help you make an informed decision.”
As someone else has mentioned they will ask the husband to discuss it with his wife. When we talk hypothetically about a women and husband then it sounds a lot worse than it is. But think if you were married for 10-15 years and your spouse then wanted this life changing surgery. You would want to discuss it together.
The doctor should have been tactful in the way he asked if the husband agreed. I AM NOT SAYING SHE HAS TO ASK OR GET HUSBANDS PERMISSION but sometimes doctors have to ask, to ensure when she goes home there are no nasty arguments etc. They can then provide support and signposting to services where the husband could get help understanding the situation (if he didn’t agree).
I think it comes down to the doctors level of tact and wording. Overall to just say “does your husband agree?” does come across as if he has the final say. Maybe there was the other possible context as I’ve highlighted but I find doctors to be quite unprofessional at times. Maybe they’re too used to see the same thing day in and day out? Who knows.
I hope your friend gets better. The pain and impact on work sounds like it’s having a significant impact on het! |
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"Why did you get it done?
Was it an easy decision to come to?
My friend has just turned 30 and has cysts on her ovaries. She’s in immense pain, especially when she gets her period. She’s on loads of medication, is off work pretty much once a month and can’t function properly.
But she has been refused twice now to have a hysterectomy as she’s only 30 and is married. One doctor asked to speak to her husband first to make sure he “agreed to it” !!
Not that it matters, but she already has two children. She would like more, but she’s accepted it’s not to be, and is focused on trying to get a hysterectomy.
Men - was it this difficult for you?
A lot of men think they deserve control over womens bodies. I guess we are just cunts.
I really do think people overthink/overreact these days! I don’t think anyone is trying to control anyone’s body in these situations! It was always normal practice for a doctor to want to see both partners. Of course everyone has a right to decide for themselves. It was just general chat. It’s a big decision. Just questions like what if you lost a child, what if you separated and wanted children with someone else etc. All this “how dare they talk to the partner, how dare a man try and control what a woman wants!” That’s not what it is! I can’t believe some of these comments on here.
It was meant to be tongue in cheek but that seems to be lost. However to think that people arent out for control seems a little naive to me.
No it’s not naivety. Don’t be ridiculous. It’s not just your comment that I’m referring to. Why is it outrageous/disgusting to want to see a married couple together when one is wanting to be sterilised?
Because it's their body, their choice. The whole idea of marriage is outdated and should be made obsolete anyway.
Oh for goodness sake. Of course it’s ultimately their choice! Nobody is saying it isn’t. Marriage doesn’t always mean one controls the other you know. "
Oh I know that, I just fundamentally disagree with it. |
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"Why did you get it done?
Was it an easy decision to come to?
My friend has just turned 30 and has cysts on her ovaries. She’s in immense pain, especially when she gets her period. She’s on loads of medication, is off work pretty much once a month and can’t function properly.
But she has been refused twice now to have a hysterectomy as she’s only 30 and is married. One doctor asked to speak to her husband first to make sure he “agreed to it” !!
Not that it matters, but she already has two children. She would like more, but she’s accepted it’s not to be, and is focused on trying to get a hysterectomy.
Men - was it this difficult for you?
A lot of men think they deserve control over womens bodies. I guess we are just cunts.
I really do think people overthink/overreact these days! I don’t think anyone is trying to control anyone’s body in these situations! It was always normal practice for a doctor to want to see both partners. Of course everyone has a right to decide for themselves. It was just general chat. It’s a big decision. Just questions like what if you lost a child, what if you separated and wanted children with someone else etc. All this “how dare they talk to the partner, how dare a man try and control what a woman wants!” That’s not what it is! I can’t believe some of these comments on here.
It was meant to be tongue in cheek but that seems to be lost. However to think that people arent out for control seems a little naive to me.
No it’s not naivety. Don’t be ridiculous. It’s not just your comment that I’m referring to. Why is it outrageous/disgusting to want to see a married couple together when one is wanting to be sterilised?
Because it's their body, their choice. The whole idea of marriage is outdated and should be made obsolete anyway."
youve got a very warped idea of marriage or long term relationships
A marriage is a comes with two equal partners
Its hell of a decision for a couple to go for the snip but its a decision both ppartners make. If my ex husband had gone for a vasectomy without telling me i would of left him
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why did you get it done?
Was it an easy decision to come to?
My friend has just turned 30 and has cysts on her ovaries. She’s in immense pain, especially when she gets her period. She’s on loads of medication, is off work pretty much once a month and can’t function properly.
But she has been refused twice now to have a hysterectomy as she’s only 30 and is married. One doctor asked to speak to her husband first to make sure he “agreed to it” !!
Not that it matters, but she already has two children. She would like more, but she’s accepted it’s not to be, and is focused on trying to get a hysterectomy.
Men - was it this difficult for you?
A lot of men think they deserve control over womens bodies. I guess we are just cunts.
I really do think people overthink/overreact these days! I don’t think anyone is trying to control anyone’s body in these situations! It was always normal practice for a doctor to want to see both partners. Of course everyone has a right to decide for themselves. It was just general chat. It’s a big decision. Just questions like what if you lost a child, what if you separated and wanted children with someone else etc. All this “how dare they talk to the partner, how dare a man try and control what a woman wants!” That’s not what it is! I can’t believe some of these comments on here.
It was meant to be tongue in cheek but that seems to be lost. However to think that people arent out for control seems a little naive to me.
No it’s not naivety. Don’t be ridiculous. It’s not just your comment that I’m referring to. Why is it outrageous/disgusting to want to see a married couple together when one is wanting to be sterilised?
Because it's their body, their choice. The whole idea of marriage is outdated and should be made obsolete anyway.youve got a very warped idea of marriage or long term relationships
A marriage is a comes with two equal partners
Its hell of a decision for a couple to go for the snip but its a decision both ppartners make. If my ex husband had gone for a vasectomy without telling me i would of left him
"
People want to bash marriage when it doesnt work but hate to see it when it does work
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I agree that the doctor wanting to see the partner is just another example of “society expects” being more important than “my choice over my body is...”"
I don’t agree. These attitudes sadden me. |
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"Why did you get it done?
Was it an easy decision to come to?
My friend has just turned 30 and has cysts on her ovaries. She’s in immense pain, especially when she gets her period. She’s on loads of medication, is off work pretty much once a month and can’t function properly.
But she has been refused twice now to have a hysterectomy as she’s only 30 and is married. One doctor asked to speak to her husband first to make sure he “agreed to it” !!
Not that it matters, but she already has two children. She would like more, but she’s accepted it’s not to be, and is focused on trying to get a hysterectomy.
Men - was it this difficult for you?
A lot of men think they deserve control over womens bodies. I guess we are just cunts.
I really do think people overthink/overreact these days! I don’t think anyone is trying to control anyone’s body in these situations! It was always normal practice for a doctor to want to see both partners. Of course everyone has a right to decide for themselves. It was just general chat. It’s a big decision. Just questions like what if you lost a child, what if you separated and wanted children with someone else etc. All this “how dare they talk to the partner, how dare a man try and control what a woman wants!” That’s not what it is! I can’t believe some of these comments on here.
It was meant to be tongue in cheek but that seems to be lost. However to think that people arent out for control seems a little naive to me.
No it’s not naivety. Don’t be ridiculous. It’s not just your comment that I’m referring to. Why is it outrageous/disgusting to want to see a married couple together when one is wanting to be sterilised?
Because it's their body, their choice. The whole idea of marriage is outdated and should be made obsolete anyway.
Oh for goodness sake. Of course it’s ultimately their choice! Nobody is saying it isn’t. Marriage doesn’t always mean one controls the other you know.
Did mine myself... pliers and a mirror... being ex navy I can tie knots
Well I did offer with a couple of bricks but he was having none of it "
Such a kind offer. Can’t imagine why he refused |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
i got my snip done once my daughter came along..that was kid no 2..i was damned if i was having 3 kids..so yes it was an easy decision to make..also my doctor asked if my wife was ok with it, which i thought was wierd but she got asked, not by me by the doctor..(she was at the appointment with me)
was the best thing ive done..was always worried about getting pregnant..it was something my mum drummed into me,sex=kids..once i had the snip it was a liberating experiance for me |
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"Why did you get it done?
Was it an easy decision to come to?
My friend has just turned 30 and has cysts on her ovaries. She’s in immense pain, especially when she gets her period. She’s on loads of medication, is off work pretty much once a month and can’t function properly.
But she has been refused twice now to have a hysterectomy as she’s only 30 and is married. One doctor asked to speak to her husband first to make sure he “agreed to it” !!
Not that it matters, but she already has two children. She would like more, but she’s accepted it’s not to be, and is focused on trying to get a hysterectomy.
Men - was it this difficult for you?"
I had the snip at 26
I found it quite easy as I'm rather strong willed and persuasive |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I had it done in 2002 because the (ex)had to come off the pill
And Ex mother in law said it was easier for the Male
Had to have it done twice cos they found 2 tubes on left testicle
The ex MIL passed away a week before l got the all clear lol
Have had all sorts of problems since
And we split in 2007 and divorced
YES I REGRET HAVING IT DONE |
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I was 23/24 when I seen the doctor and exclaimed that I wanted the snip. People told me that I'm far too young to be considered.
My story must have been very convincing as I was seen to six months after that. At my local hospital and been firing blanks for about 11yrs now...
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This makes me rage and is so common.
"You might change your mind"
"Does your husband agree"
Blah blah blah
She should go and tell them straight. Her body, her decisions.
They do the same with men. They want to see the wife if they’re a certain age. Well they did anyway. It was a while ago.
Not in the same way they do with women. I've never heard of a man being refused. I know of women who've been refused."
When I asked my GP he wouldn’t make a referral without my wife being present and giving consent. Ironically he didn’t seem too interested in whether I was there if my own accord or whether she had frog marched me in. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why did you get it done?
Was it an easy decision to come to?
My friend has just turned 30 and has cysts on her ovaries. She’s in immense pain, especially when she gets her period. She’s on loads of medication, is off work pretty much once a month and can’t function properly.
But she has been refused twice now to have a hysterectomy as she’s only 30 and is married. One doctor asked to speak to her husband first to make sure he “agreed to it” !!
Not that it matters, but she already has two children. She would like more, but she’s accepted it’s not to be, and is focused on trying to get a hysterectomy.
Men - was it this difficult for you?
A lot of men think they deserve control over womens bodies. I guess we are just cunts.
I really do think people overthink/overreact these days! I don’t think anyone is trying to control anyone’s body in these situations! It was always normal practice for a doctor to want to see both partners. Of course everyone has a right to decide for themselves. It was just general chat. It’s a big decision. Just questions like what if you lost a child, what if you separated and wanted children with someone else etc. All this “how dare they talk to the partner, how dare a man try and control what a woman wants!” That’s not what it is! I can’t believe some of these comments on here.
It was meant to be tongue in cheek but that seems to be lost. However to think that people arent out for control seems a little naive to me.
No it’s not naivety. Don’t be ridiculous. It’s not just your comment that I’m referring to. Why is it outrageous/disgusting to want to see a married couple together when one is wanting to be sterilised?
Because it's their body, their choice. The whole idea of marriage is outdated and should be made obsolete anyway.youve got a very warped idea of marriage or long term relationships
A marriage is a comes with two equal partners
Its hell of a decision for a couple to go for the snip but its a decision both ppartners make. If my ex husband had gone for a vasectomy without telling me i would of left him
"
Am I the only one to see the irony of him being your EX? |
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"Why did you get it done?
Was it an easy decision to come to?
My friend has just turned 30 and has cysts on her ovaries. She’s in immense pain, especially when she gets her period. She’s on loads of medication, is off work pretty much once a month and can’t function properly.
But she has been refused twice now to have a hysterectomy as she’s only 30 and is married. One doctor asked to speak to her husband first to make sure he “agreed to it” !!
Not that it matters, but she already has two children. She would like more, but she’s accepted it’s not to be, and is focused on trying to get a hysterectomy.
Men - was it this difficult for you?
A lot of men think they deserve control over womens bodies. I guess we are just cunts.
I really do think people overthink/overreact these days! I don’t think anyone is trying to control anyone’s body in these situations! It was always normal practice for a doctor to want to see both partners. Of course everyone has a right to decide for themselves. It was just general chat. It’s a big decision. Just questions like what if you lost a child, what if you separated and wanted children with someone else etc. All this “how dare they talk to the partner, how dare a man try and control what a woman wants!” That’s not what it is! I can’t believe some of these comments on here.
It was meant to be tongue in cheek but that seems to be lost. However to think that people arent out for control seems a little naive to me.
No it’s not naivety. Don’t be ridiculous. It’s not just your comment that I’m referring to. Why is it outrageous/disgusting to want to see a married couple together when one is wanting to be sterilised?
Because it's their body, their choice. The whole idea of marriage is outdated and should be made obsolete anyway.youve got a very warped idea of marriage or long term relationships
A marriage is a comes with two equal partners
Its hell of a decision for a couple to go for the snip but its a decision both ppartners make. If my ex husband had gone for a vasectomy without telling me i would of left him
Am I the only one to see the irony of him being your EX?"
we didnt split uup because he went for the snip behind mmy back thats for sure |
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"Make sure her husband agreed to it?
Yep
I think the doctor maybe meant to have said
“have you discussed and thought about this with your husband? This is a big step as I’m sure you’re aware and may affect the dynamics of your family. But rem_mber you’re free and independent to make your own choice and as a medical professional I’m here to advise you as per the best course of action that I know of and to help you make an informed decision.”
As someone else has mentioned they will ask the husband to discuss it with his wife. When we talk hypothetically about a women and husband then it sounds a lot worse than it is. But think if you were married for 10-15 years and your spouse then wanted this life changing surgery. You would want to discuss it together.
The doctor should have been tactful in the way he asked if the husband agreed. I AM NOT SAYING SHE HAS TO ASK OR GET HUSBANDS PERMISSION but sometimes doctors have to ask, to ensure when she goes home there are no nasty arguments etc. They can then provide support and signposting to services where the husband could get help understanding the situation (if he didn’t agree).
I think it comes down to the doctors level of tact and wording. Overall to just say “does your husband agree?” does come across as if he has the final say. Maybe there was the other possible context as I’ve highlighted but I find doctors to be quite unprofessional at times. Maybe they’re too used to see the same thing day in and day out? Who knows.
I hope your friend gets better. The pain and impact on work sounds like it’s having a significant impact on het! "
You make an excellent point here, thank you
Mrs TMN x |
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There are a few things to consider here.
Firstly, the job of a medical professional is to treat the person sitting in front of them, and to protect their privacy. That doesn't mean it's inappropriate for them to ask someone if they've fully considered the implications of the procedure, or to ask if they've consulted with family m_mbers who may be affected - those are valid questions and show a duty of care towards the patient's wellbeing.
However, if for example I was being abused by my partner, and wanted to be sterilised without his knowledge, that should be entirely my choice. Nobody's partner is entitled to have a say in it.
I think the way questions are asked has a lot to do with it. Not all doctors have the best bedside manner!
Mrs TMN x |
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By *W ChapMan
over a year ago
Swindon |
I was 29, had two kids and didn't want more. The main rationale was to get the Mrs off of the pill and it seemed the best solution.
The Doctor felt that it was early age wise but accepted the case put to him.
Had it done privately I think. No major issues tbf.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My late wife had 2x eptopic pregnancies. We decided between ourselves that I should be the one to have the snip.
Was an easy decision to be fair. And now... If I get into a situation where (as a couple) we trust each other.. know each other is clean and disease free... Well..... |
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"This makes me rage and is so common.
"You might change your mind"
"Does your husband agree"
Blah blah blah
She should go and tell them straight. Her body, her decisions.
They do the same with men. They want to see the wife if they’re a certain age. Well they did anyway. It was a while ago. "
We do vasectomies where I work and they don't speak to the wife/partner. If the man says he wants one he gets one. They just make sure they've considered all future possibilities like if they got in a new relationship or something happened to their current children. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I got mine as one of my partners friend got a form of cancer that the doctor said was due to long term use of the pill.
Was not a nice experience tho but glad I got it now. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why did you get it done?
Was it an easy decision to come to?
My friend has just turned 30 and has cysts on her ovaries. She’s in immense pain, especially when she gets her period. She’s on loads of medication, is off work pretty much once a month and can’t function properly.
But she has been refused twice now to have a hysterectomy as she’s only 30 and is married. One doctor asked to speak to her husband first to make sure he “agreed to it” !!
Not that it matters, but she already has two children. She would like more, but she’s accepted it’s not to be, and is focused on trying to get a hysterectomy.
Men - was it this difficult for you?"
My God, is that Dr still living in the 1800's? I'd love to say unbelievable but unfortunately it isn't...Still makes you want to shake your head and go WTF though! |
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"I wish I had it done when I was 16
..it would have saved me a lot of hassles over the years!
You got kiddos?
I had 3 boys. 18, 12 and 8
Awwww
My 8 year old wasnt even born and I was away to the docs looking to get the snip organised as I was determined not to have anymore. My 18 year old passed away last year leaving a hole in my life. "
Oh god I'm so sorry to hear that |
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"I got thrown out of my doctors for asking for the snip on my 18th birthday.
I never wanted kids and to this day I am glad for myself that I never had any.
I finally managed to get it done aged 34 I think it was.
At the time I had a gf with 3 kids and that was the only reason my doctor agreed to it.
It's so annoying that they dont believe you when you tell them every reason why you know you dont want kids!
Agreed, I want the snip but I know I'll be refused. The last thing this world needs is a little version of me running around "
I've seen men in their 20s with no kids have them. I guess it depends where you live and who provides the service as it varies massively. If you're at the mercy of an old fashioned consultant you may be refused which isn't right. Some areas you can have it done at your GP practice or sexual health clinic though. |
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"There are a few things to consider here.
Firstly, the job of a medical professional is to treat the person sitting in front of them, and to protect their privacy. That doesn't mean it's inappropriate for them to ask someone if they've fully considered the implications of the procedure, or to ask if they've consulted with family m_mbers who may be affected - those are valid questions and show a duty of care towards the patient's wellbeing.
However, if for example I was being abused by my partner, and wanted to be sterilised without his knowledge, that should be entirely my choice. Nobody's partner is entitled to have a say in it.
I think the way questions are asked has a lot to do with it. Not all doctors have the best bedside manner!
Mrs TMN x"
Absolutely agree. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This makes me rage and is so common.
"You might change your mind"
"Does your husband agree"
Blah blah blah
She should go and tell them straight. Her body, her decisions.
They do the same with men. They want to see the wife if they’re a certain age. Well they did anyway. It was a while ago.
We do vasectomies where I work and they don't speak to the wife/partner. If the man says he wants one he gets one. They just make sure they've considered all future possibilities like if they got in a new relationship or something happened to their current children."
Probably changed now. Like I said it was a while ago. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Easiest decision in the world for me and us, a real no brainier.
We had 3 children between us, good careers for both of us and a new relationship to build. Another child would have made it much more difficult. |
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"Why did you get it done?
Was it an easy decision to come to?
My friend has just turned 30 and has cysts on her ovaries. She’s in immense pain, especially when she gets her period. She’s on loads of medication, is off work pretty much once a month and can’t function properly.
But she has been refused twice now to have a hysterectomy as she’s only 30 and is married. One doctor asked to speak to her husband first to make sure he “agreed to it” !!
Not that it matters, but she already has two children. She would like more, but she’s accepted it’s not to be, and is focused on trying to get a hysterectomy.
Men - was it this difficult for you?"
Wasn’t a difficult choice for me at all; after 5 miscarriages, and one failed round of ivf, when my second child arrived safely, I just could not face any more pregnancies |
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"Why did you get it done?
Was it an easy decision to come to?
My friend has just turned 30 and has cysts on her ovaries. She’s in immense pain, especially when she gets her period. She’s on loads of medication, is off work pretty much once a month and can’t function properly.
But she has been refused twice now to have a hysterectomy as she’s only 30 and is married. One doctor asked to speak to her husband first to make sure he “agreed to it” !!
Not that it matters, but she already has two children. She would like more, but she’s accepted it’s not to be, and is focused on trying to get a hysterectomy.
Men - was it this difficult for you?"
Simple decision at 26
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Why did you get it done?
Was it an easy decision to come to?
My friend has just turned 30 and has cysts on her ovaries. She’s in immense pain, especially when she gets her period. She’s on loads of medication, is off work pretty much once a month and can’t function properly.
But she has been refused twice now to have a hysterectomy as she’s only 30 and is married. One doctor asked to speak to her husband first to make sure he “agreed to it” !!
Not that it matters, but she already has two children. She would like more, but she’s accepted it’s not to be, and is focused on trying to get a hysterectomy.
Men - was it this difficult for you?
Wasn’t a difficult choice for me at all; after 5 miscarriages, and one failed round of ivf, when my second child arrived safely, I just could not face any more pregnancies "
Oh fuck. Bless you both. Been there (for the most part) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I tried for years and kept getting refused. The reason? I might change my mind. I decided when I was 5 I never wanted children of my own.
I finally found a GP who agreed that at 47 I was old enough for this to be a reasonable request. Unfortunately I am also diabetic and high blood sugars can cause complications so it is on hold until that is under control. I can only imagine how hard it must be for a woman given the difficulties I had. |
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"Why did you get it done?
Was it an easy decision to come to?
My friend has just turned 30 and has cysts on her ovaries. She’s in immense pain, especially when she gets her period. She’s on loads of medication, is off work pretty much once a month and can’t function properly.
But she has been refused twice now to have a hysterectomy as she’s only 30 and is married. One doctor asked to speak to her husband first to make sure he “agreed to it” !!
Not that it matters, but she already has two children. She would like more, but she’s accepted it’s not to be, and is focused on trying to get a hysterectomy.
Men - was it this difficult for you?"
Had the snip a while back now. Easy operation keyhole surgery. Wasn’t in pain atall bit of discomfort.
Easy decision for me to make as we have 7 kids |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I had mine done a few years back; my wife asked a few times before I actually had it done, but the procedure itself was pretty easy, quick and mostly pain-free afterwards. It never felt worse than well-grazed knee.
The worse parts were reacting to the local anaesthetic later as it started to metabolise and the fact the nurses who assisted the surgeon were both very pretty |
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"I tried for years and kept getting refused. The reason? I might change my mind. I decided when I was 5 I never wanted children of my own.
I finally found a GP who agreed that at 47 I was old enough for this to be a reasonable request. Unfortunately I am also diabetic and high blood sugars can cause complications so it is on hold until that is under control. I can only imagine how hard it must be for a woman given the difficulties I had."
I had no problems
I could be quite persuasive
Think I said
" look, if I have children they are going to grow up like me"
Honestly think I'm lucky to still have testicles  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I had the snip at 28 in the late 80s.
I had so much grief was untrue. My age was a major factor but fully involved my ex wife.
What happens if the kids get killed? What happens if you divorce? Etc etc not you have two healthy kids one of each enjoy your sex life without any condoms pill. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I had it back in 85 and have never regretted it. I don't recollect any deep questions, it was just 'both sign here' please. Mrs J and I had been in relationship before and had 3 children between us. Perhaps that's why it was no big deal.
Hope that helps. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ive been thinking of getting it done. Got 2 kids that I love, but are very exhausting.
So has anyone had any real side effects? The initial pain of the op doesn't sound that bad,when compared to the sleepless nights you get, with kids.??
P.s. I started skim reading about halfway through the thread, so sorry if it's been covered. X |
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"They don't always say that I was sterlised 5 year ago never said that to me but my age could of been a factor I was 43 then lol "
I wish I could get my doctor to agree. I'm 45 next birthday and still struggling to get them to agree
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"Ive been thinking of getting it done. Got 2 kids that I love, but are very exhausting.
So has anyone had any real side effects? The initial pain of the op doesn't sound that bad,when compared to the sleepless nights you get, with kids.??
P.s. I started skim reading about halfway through the thread, so sorry if it's been covered. X"
No side effects for me mate, I would happily have it done again, and if you've any worries about lack of volume of ejaculate afterwards, feel free to check out my vids  |
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Yes I've had it done, mrs had to be with mr when we went to the doctors to discuss everything with him first, we had 3 kids at the time wanted to know what if we lost the kids how would we feel about wanting more kids. |
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It was a long time ago (I was 28) but we didn't have any problem making the decision and I don't rem_mber any problem finding someone to do the vasectomy.
My then wife had two very bad pregnancies and the medical advice was that another would kill her. Fortunately our only surviving child has grown up to be a lovely man with a lovely family. My ex died this year of cancer. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Make sure her husband agreed to it?
Yep
This makes me rage so much"
It pissed me off, god now how she felt at the time. I would have reported the prick. |
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