FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Reading messages
Reading messages
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Which is more rude:
Reading messages but not having the courtesy to reply - eve just a sorry not for me
Or
Knowing the recipient has been online (for a lengthy period or several times) and not bothered to read your message |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Which is more rude:
Reading messages but not having the courtesy to reply - eve just a sorry not for me
Or
Knowing the recipient has been online (for a lengthy period or several times) and not bothered to read your message "
Not recognising that we have the right to do what we want? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not reading the site rules and understanding them."
Exactly. It has been made quite clear in the site FAQ's that a non-reply is NOT to be considered rude and should be taken as a 'no, thank you'
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Can look like someone's online but actually are busy or not logged off.
I'm not replying to every message.. As then you get a tennis effect of messages.
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By *essie.Woman
over a year ago
Serendipity |
I wrote in my profile that if I don’t reply you’re not for me.
Can’t do much more than that really.
From experience I found if you replied no thanks, it sometimes turned into a saga of why etc. |
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By *mberWoman
over a year ago
Preston |
OP to put this into context, I took my filters off on Saturday.
I got around 120 messages.
I read every one and looked at every profile.
For some, it took longer for me to do that than it took for the sender to write the message.
I replied to 8ish
5 to say thanks for sending a nice message but no thanks.
3 for other reasons
All 8 replied, so then I had to reply again and so on and so on.
This process took me about 4 hours.
If I'd replied to all (including the one that read "I'm going to bury my massive cock in your arse, put my hands around your throat and treat you like the slut you are")
I'd still be replying now.
So maybe, as per forum rules, realise that no reply, isn't rude, it's a choice that people are able to make and shouldn't need to be justified. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks for the enlightenment "
Also if your messaging couples consider that both might work full time but different shifts and both will want to read your message when they get chance and probably won't respond until they have found time where they are together to discuss if they are both interested before replying?
KJ x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Dominos Pizza put a flyer through my door on Saturday so I rang them to say thank you but I won't be ordering anything today.
I trust you approve OP ?"
This response is just rude!!!
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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago
Paisley |
"I wrote in my profile that if I don’t reply you’re not for me.
Can’t do much more than that really.
From experience I found if you replied no thanks, it sometimes turned into a saga of why etc. "
Or you get a torrent of abuse in return because you turned them down. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Dominos Pizza put a flyer through my door on Saturday so I rang them to say thank you but I won't be ordering anything today.
I trust you approve OP ?
This response is just rude!!!
"
But it’s literally what it’s like  |
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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
Many tend to look at a profile before a message,so if they have checked you out and you haven't read their profile ,they may not reply.
Some just don't answer due to getting abuse when they say no thanks or opening up a conversation of why nots etc.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wrote in my profile that if I don’t reply you’re not for me.
Can’t do much more than that really.
From experience I found if you replied no thanks, it sometimes turned into a saga of why etc.
Or you get a torrent of abuse in return because you turned them down. "
how could you  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Which is more rude:
Reading messages but not having the courtesy to reply - eve just a sorry not for me
Or
Knowing the recipient has been online (for a lengthy period or several times) and not bothered to read your message "
My profile is fairly clear that I only meet weekends. So if I get a random message asking me to meet on a weekday am I rude for not replying? Or are they rude for not reading my profile? |
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By *eah BabyCouple
over a year ago
Cheshire, Windermere ,Cumbria |
I think it’s rude not to reply, understand single females would get lots of messages if filters off but put them on to suit who you want to attract, simple.
If we don’t want to take things further with someone then we reply with a message that shows that.
If you put in your profile that you won’t reply to all messages then fair enough it gives the person the heads up and to expect no reply but not many do from what I’ve seen. |
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By *sm265Woman
over a year ago
Shangri-la |
I regularly come on here and don't look at my inbox, I come to hangout in the forums and relax.
I don't log out every time I am on the site, so there are times I will appear online even when I'm not.
When I do check my inbox I always look at a sender's profile BEFORE I decide whether to even open a message. If the profile isn't appealing, or clearly doesn't match what I state on mine I am looking for, I am unlikely to respond to the message. On the occasions I've replied with a "No thanks" it invariably results in further messages wanting to know why not or attempting to persuade me to give them a chance. I don't have time to do that with every single message that I get.
If a message comes in, & the profile sparks my interest, & I open the message & it's well written & shows they've read & understood my profile, then I will always reply.
Oh & by the way, copy & paste messages saying "I've read & like your profile..." don't count & are really easy to spot & usually get deleted
Ultimately on here no reply means no interest.
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"Which is more rude:
Reading messages but not having the courtesy to reply - eve just a sorry not for me
Or
Knowing the recipient has been online (for a lengthy period or several times) and not bothered to read your message "
Are you sending messages which are so good they really ought to be replied to? Some of the ones we get are terrible. If they or you think we should put any effort into replying to those you're just wrong. |
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By *ad steMan
over a year ago
Southport |
I personally prefer a no thanks reply to delete and block if a person was to message saying no I wish them look those that don't are not worth my time any way so why bother worrying about itthete loss not mine |
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"Which is more rude:
Reading messages but not having the courtesy to reply - eve just a sorry not for me
Or
Knowing the recipient has been online (for a lengthy period or several times) and not bothered to read your message "
The answer to your question is......
drumroll.............
Neither are rude.
Unless of course you;
a) don't read the rules
b) have no comprehension of mail volume
c) have a strong sense of self entitlement
Fab FAQs.
It's not rude not to reply.
Some ladies and couples get hundreds of messages a day so it simply isn't possible for them to reply to everyone. If you don't get a response, you should assume they aren't interested. If you're getting a lot of "no-replies" then you should consider your profile and the messages you send. Are they giving the right message? Are you standing out from the thousands of other guys on here? |
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"I personally prefer a no thanks reply to delete and block if a person was to message saying no I wish them look those that don't are not worth my time any way so why bother worrying about itthete loss not mine "
Lols @ their loss  |
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"Which is more rude:
Reading messages but not having the courtesy to reply - eve just a sorry not for me
Or
Knowing the recipient has been online (for a lengthy period or several times) and not bothered to read your message "
The Boy is online more than Kitty. I’ll sometimes leave a message unread, until she can read it. |
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I get about 5 non-forum messages on an average day (I'm very popular you see, it's the socks). I know they haven't read my profile so I don't bother even looking at them most of the time. 5 messages wouldn't take long, but why would I bother reading and replying when someone can't even put the effort into reading my profile header never mind the rest of it? |
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It’d take forever to reply to every message, and then every message thereafter where they’ve then demanded to know why or throw abuse at you.
Why should I waste my time to reply to messages when 9/10 the sender hasn’t spent time reading my profile? It might seem demanding in my profile but it’s of the few ways I wish to filter my messages, and for safety.
A delete should always be considered no, no questioned asked. It’s not rude, expecting a reply is. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I get about 5 non-forum messages on an average day (I'm very popular you see, it's the socks). I know they haven't read my profile so I don't bother even looking at them most of the time. 5 messages wouldn't take long, but why would I bother reading and replying when someone can't even put the effort into reading my profile header never mind the rest of it? "
a sense of honour maybe or pride in your socks   |
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"Which is more rude:
Reading messages but not having the courtesy to reply - eve just a sorry not for me
Or
Knowing the recipient has been online (for a lengthy period or several times) and not bothered to read your message "
Neither. It's how they admin their account and it has fuck all to do with you. Stop being controlled by your sent box. |
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Mrs Absolutebeginner opened up a single account last week, she had to hide it because in the first day she received over a hundred messages, some of them are just a total waste of time but unfortunately she didn’t have the time to go through them all before the mailbox filled up and started deleting the oldest ones before she could read them. |
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"Dominos Pizza put a flyer through my door on Saturday so I rang them to say thank you but I won't be ordering anything today.
I trust you approve OP ?
This response is just rude!!!
"
Did you just receive input you didn't ask for and didn't want OP? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"OP to put this into context, I took my filters off on Saturday.
I got around 120 messages.
I read every one and looked at every profile.
For some, it took longer for me to do that than it took for the sender to write the message.
I replied to 8ish
5 to say thanks for sending a nice message but no thanks.
3 for other reasons
All 8 replied, so then I had to reply again and so on and so on.
This process took me about 4 hours.
If I'd replied to all (including the one that read "I'm going to bury my massive cock in your arse, put my hands around your throat and treat you like the slut you are")
I'd still be replying now.
So maybe, as per forum rules, realise that no reply, isn't rude, it's a choice that people are able to make and shouldn't need to be justified."
This!
Filters make no difference. All single women get excessive amounts of messages, most from people who clearly haven’t read the profile. I don’t understand why people still think it’s reasonable to expect a no thanks from every single person they message. What’s the point? Plus it’s boring writing them! |
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"I get about 5 non-forum messages on an average day (I'm very popular you see, it's the socks). I know they haven't read my profile so I don't bother even looking at them most of the time. 5 messages wouldn't take long, but why would I bother reading and replying when someone can't even put the effort into reading my profile header never mind the rest of it? a sense of honour maybe or pride in your socks
But they don't message me about my socks, they just want to meet now to fuck me hard until my eyeballs explode. Or something.  well exploding eye balls would be last on my list of wants "
That's because you're obviously a gentleman  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Erm before all you lot get a reply I want mine!
50 minutes ago, my response took ages and was very enlightening AND he's been on and replied to someone else since.
I'm bloody outraged!"
sorry, I'm on it |
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By *erdyWoman
over a year ago
wiltshire |
"Which is more rude:
Reading messages but not having the courtesy to reply - eve just a sorry not for me
Or
Knowing the recipient has been online (for a lengthy period or several times) and not bothered to read your message
Not recognising that we have the right to do what we want? "
hear hear |
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By *mberWoman
over a year ago
Preston |
"Erm before all you lot get a reply I want mine!
50 minutes ago, my response took ages and was very enlightening AND he's been on and replied to someone else since.
I'm bloody outraged!sorry, I'm on it "
Are you acting as the OPs PA? He'll be docking your pay! Jump to it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"OP to put this into context, I took my filters off on Saturday.
I got around 120 messages.
I read every one and looked at every profile.
For some, it took longer for me to do that than it took for the sender to write the message.
I replied to 8ish
5 to say thanks for sending a nice message but no thanks.
3 for other reasons
All 8 replied, so then I had to reply again and so on and so on.
This process took me about 4 hours.
If I'd replied to all (including the one that read "I'm going to bury my massive cock in your arse, put my hands around your throat and treat you like the slut you are")
I'd still be replying now.
So maybe, as per forum rules, realise that no reply, isn't rude, it's a choice that people are able to make and shouldn't need to be justified.
This!
Filters make no difference. All single women get excessive amounts of messages, most from people who clearly haven’t read the profile. I don’t understand why people still think it’s reasonable to expect a no thanks from every single person they message. What’s the point? Plus it’s boring writing them!"
I disagree! I have all my filters on, hide my profile when I don't have the time or the inclination and reply to all my messages! Hardly ever get a rude one and don't get rude ones back either ... and yes I use the forus, chatrooms and have had photos on page 1! Been here years (so not because I'm now old lol) and change the ages I look for, who i look for etc regularly. I travel with work and always change my lication too ... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It used to bother me but it doesnt now. I understand that if it goes unread, it's more than likely lost in the masses of messages they've received. If I find they are online a few days later I might try and catch them again if I really like them.
If it's been read with no reply, I take it as a no thanks. Gutting, I know but its he way the cookie crumbles pal.
I've had the odd reply with "thanks but no thanks" and I always reply back with a simple " thanks anyway". |
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"Which is more rude:
Reading messages but not having the courtesy to reply - eve just a sorry not for me
Or
Knowing the recipient has been online (for a lengthy period or several times) and not bothered to read your message "
Probably the most annoying aspect of this is someone sitting in judgement when they've been here ten months and they haven't read the site FAQ's. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Erm before all you lot get a reply I want mine!
50 minutes ago, my response took ages and was very enlightening AND he's been on and replied to someone else since.
I'm bloody outraged!sorry, I'm on it
Are you acting as the OPs PA? He'll be docking your pay! Jump to it"
he better not I'm relying on it  |
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By *mberWoman
over a year ago
Preston |
"OP to put this into context, I took my filters off on Saturday.
I got around 120 messages.
I read every one and looked at every profile.
For some, it took longer for me to do that than it took for the sender to write the message.
I replied to 8ish
5 to say thanks for sending a nice message but no thanks.
3 for other reasons
All 8 replied, so then I had to reply again and so on and so on.
This process took me about 4 hours.
If I'd replied to all (including the one that read "I'm going to bury my massive cock in your arse, put my hands around your throat and treat you like the slut you are")
I'd still be replying now.
So maybe, as per forum rules, realise that no reply, isn't rude, it's a choice that people are able to make and shouldn't need to be justified.
This!
Filters make no difference. All single women get excessive amounts of messages, most from people who clearly haven’t read the profile. I don’t understand why people still think it’s reasonable to expect a no thanks from every single person they message. What’s the point? Plus it’s boring writing them!
I disagree! I have all my filters on, hide my profile when I don't have the time or the inclination and reply to all my messages! Hardly ever get a rude one and don't get rude ones back either ... and yes I use the forus, chatrooms and have had photos on page 1! Been here years (so not because I'm now old lol) and change the ages I look for, who i look for etc regularly. I travel with work and always change my lication too ... "
I have my filters on and I hide when I'm not looking.
I've never had a photo on page 1.
I think it just depends on the gods...weather, time of day, time of year, where you are...I've no idea, but what I do know is that I don't have the time or the inclination to reply to every "hi your (sic) fit" that is sent.
But....I will also add that when I've replied and said no thanks I've never had a rude message back. |
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"OP to put this into context, I took my filters off on Saturday.
I got around 120 messages.
I read every one and looked at every profile.
For some, it took longer for me to do that than it took for the sender to write the message.
I replied to 8ish
5 to say thanks for sending a nice message but no thanks.
3 for other reasons
All 8 replied, so then I had to reply again and so on and so on.
This process took me about 4 hours.
If I'd replied to all (including the one that read "I'm going to bury my massive cock in your arse, put my hands around your throat and treat you like the slut you are")
I'd still be replying now.
So maybe, as per forum rules, realise that no reply, isn't rude, it's a choice that people are able to make and shouldn't need to be justified."
That right there says it all ! |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"I personally prefer a no thanks reply to delete and block if a person was to message saying no I wish them look those that don't are not worth my time any way so why bother worrying about itthete loss not mine "
It's not their loss if they don't want to meet you or reply. |
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"Which is more rude:
Reading messages but not having the courtesy to reply - eve just a sorry not for me
Or
Knowing the recipient has been online (for a lengthy period or several times) and not bothered to read your message "
If you sent 100 intro messages a day, would you be ok with 700 "no thank you" messages by the end of the week? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Which is more rude:
Reading messages but not having the courtesy to reply - eve just a sorry not for me
Or
Knowing the recipient has been online (for a lengthy period or several times) and not bothered to read your message "
People shouldn’t assume they’re being ignored if someone is on line. I’ve logged on about 4 times since yesterday and not once have I gone to messages. I usually just look at the forum |
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"Which is more rude:
Reading messages but not having the courtesy to reply - eve just a sorry not for me
Or
Knowing the recipient has been online (for a lengthy period or several times) and not bothered to read your message "
Ok do me a favour and eat a snickers because you sound like an angry entitled prick when your hungry
Also it not rude to not reply if you didnt know we only get so many reply a day |
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By *3xymamaWoman
over a year ago
Uptown Top Ranking |
"I regularly come on here and don't look at my inbox, I come to hangout in the forums and relax.
I don't log out every time I am on the site, so there are times I will appear online even when I'm not.
When I do check my inbox I always look at a sender's profile BEFORE I decide whether to even open a message. If the profile isn't appealing, or clearly doesn't match what I state on mine I am looking for, I am unlikely to respond to the message. On the occasions I've replied with a "No thanks" it invariably results in further messages wanting to know why not or attempting to persuade me to give them a chance. I don't have time to do that with every single message that I get.
If a message comes in, & the profile sparks my interest, & I open the message & it's well written & shows they've read & understood my profile, then I will always reply.
Oh & by the way, copy & paste messages saying "I've read & like your profile..." don't count & are really easy to spot & usually get deleted
Ultimately on here no reply means no interest.
"
^^^ just this.. |
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"I wrote in my profile that if I don’t reply you’re not for me.
Can’t do much more than that really.
From experience I found if you replied no thanks, it sometimes turned into a saga of why etc. "
I’ve had the same experience. I like to be polite but there’s too many to reply to sometimes. |
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"Which is more rude:
Reading messages but not having the courtesy to reply - eve just a sorry not for me
Or
Knowing the recipient has been online (for a lengthy period or several times) and not bothered to read your message "
Moaning like fuck about it, passive aggressively on the forums is GUARANTEED to up the reply rate. Proven scientific fact |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Which is more rude:
Reading messages but not having the courtesy to reply - eve just a sorry not for me
Or
Knowing the recipient has been online (for a lengthy period or several times) and not bothered to read your message "
Imho neither are considered rude.
Why should anyone be made to feel obliged to reply to an unsolicited message? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I wrote in my profile that if I don’t reply you’re not for me.
Can’t do much more than that really.
From experience I found if you replied no thanks, it sometimes turned into a saga of why etc.
I’ve had the same experience. I like to be polite but there’s too many to reply to sometimes."
Same here.
I'm unable to keep up with messages sometimes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Not bothering to reply is the rudest.
I get hundreds of messages a day like most do on here.I will still try to reply to the ones that aren't rude.So people must be patient as it takes time to look read and reply to all.
Not replying is just egotistical and arrogant x |
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