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Curious transvestite
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By *hloevt OP TV/TS
over a year ago
norwich |
I wrote this on someone's post the other day and got a few comments, this made me stop and think and I'm Quite interested of other Tgirls experiences and feelings, when did you get the urge to dress and how confusing was it for you ?
Why do I put a dress on and prance around ?
From a VERY early age my best friend and worst enimy was "chloe".
Sometimes I would see her in the mirror , other times she would whisper to me "You would look pretty in that dress".
As time went on she would dance around my bedroom in borrowed clothes. Other times she would just be a distant thought and some times she was my rock when life got very difficult, she took me away from everything.
As time went on she became real when she ventured out of the bedroom and very very real when she went shopping and started to go to clubs.
She is still my best friend but she is as mad as a box of frogs and really good fun .
I call her "she" and her club friends call her she , it's her friends veiws that really matter to her . And she loves them all.
For me it's a feeling inside . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I saw that
I don't know where mine came from, my very first memory is me wearing a pair of my mums silky knickers, I guess I was about 2 or 3 but I don't know. I certainly didn't used to think of the girl side of me as someone different, it was just me, I suppose when I looked in the mirror I saw a boy and it was a bit like looking at a different person to what I expected to see.
I did used to think when I saw something pretty that I would love to own it, in school I used to love the girls uniform. I suppose it was about that time my sister started giving me her cast offs, she was cool and seemed to understand about me somehow. I had long hair in those days so I went out with her a few times at night which was one of the happiest times of my life.
Then when I was about 14 I, with my sister's help decided to tell my mother who didn't understand at all, she went completely ballistic and since then it became a dirty little secret, my dad never knew. I never felt any different, I was still a girl inside I just hid it. I suppose I'm very fortunate that I have enough maleness if that's the right expression to be able to mostly live with presenting as male to the world.
The male part of me is very different to Christine, a very different outlook on life free of the crap that has built up inside the male side |
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By *hloevt OP TV/TS
over a year ago
norwich |
"I saw that
I don't know where mine came from, my very first memory is me wearing a pair of my mums silky knickers, I guess I was about 2 or 3 but I don't know. I certainly didn't used to think of the girl side of me as someone different, it was just me, I suppose when I looked in the mirror I saw a boy and it was a bit like looking at a different person to what I expected to see.
I did used to think when I saw something pretty that I would love to own it, in school I used to love the girls uniform. I suppose it was about that time my sister started giving me her cast offs, she was cool and seemed to understand about me somehow. I had long hair in those days so I went out with her a few times at night which was one of the happiest times of my life.
Then when I was about 14 I, with my sister's help decided to tell my mother who didn't understand at all, she went completely ballistic and since then it became a dirty little secret, my dad never knew. I never felt any different, I was still a girl inside I just hid it. I suppose I'm very fortunate that I have enough maleness if that's the right expression to be able to mostly live with presenting as male to the world.
The male part of me is very different to Christine, a very different outlook on life free of the crap that has built up inside the male side"
I so understand and can relate to everything you say.
When I was young you would get a hidding if you wore white sock, thankfully times have changed a bit.
I found the teenage years very confusing and scary.
Xx |
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Sometimes I think our brains are not wired directly to our bodies, I haven’t put this very well, what I mean is the soul is more feminine, but your born in a male body
As a kid I used to have a dream about being caught by girls who dress me in their clothes, but I get transformed into a proper girl, I repressed this and became very much a mans man, but Stella still came from within me.. |
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By *hloevt OP TV/TS
over a year ago
norwich |
"Sometimes I think our brains are not wired directly to our bodies, I haven’t put this very well, what I mean is the soul is more feminine, but your born in a male body
As a kid I used to have a dream about being caught by girls who dress me in their clothes, but I get transformed into a proper girl, I repressed this and became very much a mans man, but Stella still came from within me.."
This is true, the girl stays in you forever, as if the fight against it makes you try and be more manly and you suppress emotions.
It was only when I got older that I accepted "chloe" and embraced the pleasure she gives me. Xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I so understand and can relate to everything you say.
When I was young you would get a hidding if you wore white sock, thankfully times have changed a bit.
I found the teenage years very confusing and scary.
Xx"
Tell me about it  It was a scary world back then, being different alone was a ticket to a good hiding
Strangely enough in an attempt to appease my mother I joined the navy and specialised as a diver because it was the toughest branch in the navy. Ironically in that world of homophobia our team used to have tranny and tarts parties every other week, in hindsight I do wonder if I was the only one, everyone seemed to fit in seamlessly 
Stella, I have the opposite dream, I suppose it stems from my shame at being what I am that my recurring dream is that I'm dressed outside and people I know start to appear and I find myself in some sort of embarrassment or trying to hide the fact I' dressed up as a girl |
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A d*unken fellow student (male ) came on to me at a party, and told me he loved dressing and would love to do my make up one time , he ended up moving in with me after his marriage was over and thats where my odyssey began , once i had got to experiment with having someone taking charge with me, i would be told to wait for him in his attic bedroom in kings cross, porn vid on , dress up round my haunches , on all fours , til he returned from the gym, and discovered me , then teased me about my provocative behaviour before fuckjng me and inviting his friend from a bank in the city to join in. They even had me visit the abcat cinema round the corner and take on the back row, done up in wig heels hold ups and a smile |
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By *hloevt OP TV/TS
over a year ago
norwich |
"A d*unken fellow student (male ) came on to me at a party, and told me he loved dressing and would love to do my make up one time , he ended up moving in with me after his marriage was over and thats where my odyssey began , once i had got to experiment with having someone taking charge with me, i would be told to wait for him in his attic bedroom in kings cross, porn vid on , dress up round my haunches , on all fours , til he returned from the gym, and discovered me , then teased me about my provocative behaviour before fuckjng me and inviting his friend from a bank in the city to join in. They even had me visit the abcat cinema round the corner and take on the back row, done up in wig heels hold ups and a smile"
This shows how diffrent people's stories are.
Do you dress just for sexual pleasure or is it an urge from within to feel female and pretty ? X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My earliest recollection was sneaking into my sister’s wardrobe and wearing a satin bridesmaid dress. I was around 15. It felt wonderful. I still have a passion for satin to this day.
My first girlfriend worked shifts so I had evenings free. I just had to experience the feeling of going outside in basque suspenders stockings heels fully dressed. I was so nervous someone would see me but it was dark nobody did and it felt wonderful.
I rarely get the chance to dress these days due to family. My wife has no idea that whenever she goes away for a few days I start to plan my adventures as Francesca. I still wear satin albeit a nice pencil skirt and blouse now. I still love venturing out, fully dressed, full make up and wig, hearing the click of my high heels as I walk.
I now also adore meeting guys to have sex with me playing the female role (I am strictly bottom). This has developed from giving blow jobs to full on penetration. No idea why this is in me but I would love to do it more often. |
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One of my earliest memories was wondering what to do with my penis when it gets cut off. Do I keep it as a souvenir. For my early childhood I always felt the same but was still utterly embarrassed by it and didn't understand myself. Had to develop a persona I could live by which was the polar opposite to being female in any way. But desire and urges never went away. I did for a few years nearly forget them but they came back then some years back I just couldn't help it any more i hated myself and i hated myself for it. I had an internet search and found it was easier to accept myself for who I am than fight it. I'm Still discreet to an extent but much happier not living in complete denial. |
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By *hloevt OP TV/TS
over a year ago
norwich |
"My earliest recollection was sneaking into my sister’s wardrobe and wearing a satin bridesmaid dress. I was around 15. It felt wonderful. I still have a passion for satin to this day.
My first girlfriend worked shifts so I had evenings free. I just had to experience the feeling of going outside in basque suspenders stockings heels fully dressed. I was so nervous someone would see me but it was dark nobody did and it felt wonderful.
I rarely get the chance to dress these days due to family. My wife has no idea that whenever she goes away for a few days I start to plan my adventures as Francesca. I still wear satin albeit a nice pencil skirt and blouse now. I still love venturing out, fully dressed, full make up and wig, hearing the click of my high heels as I walk.
I now also adore meeting guys to have sex with me playing the female role (I am strictly bottom). This has developed from giving blow jobs to full on penetration. No idea why this is in me but I would love to do it more often. "
Almost every tv I speak to says it's an urge and a feeling from inside.
Think most of us have tried to fight it but I also found life a little easier when I embrace Chloe.
Can't beat going out dressed, feels so liberating xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have been dressing for almost 60 years and I still get that warm feeling when I dress. Sometimes I dress purely for my own pleasure, being around the house dressed is liberating. I was very luck that my late wife embraced Kate and loved her in the bedroom too. In my early fifties I started being interested in guy and, going to gay saunas in London and sauna sauna in northwich and now if I'm meeting a guy I will dress to suit my guy, most guys like to see lacy pants and stockings whereas on my own I'd wear patterned tights.I do know it's impossible to stop dressing |
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I can relate to pretty much all the stories so far. I started aged 9. Done all the trying to give up,but now just accept it. Absolutely love going out in public, people seem to be alot more accepting these days, dont seem to get many strange looks. Only became bi quite late on, but as Im getting older Im enjoying it more and more. It would be nice to hear some more stories, come on girls? |
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By *hloevt OP TV/TS
over a year ago
norwich |
"It would be an old black and white movie that my father let me stay up and watch one night that had a transvestite in it..  "
Spent some time trying to work out what film that was? I will keep looking.
All of our inspirations come from so many difrent things. When I was young it was the late 70s and nutty 80s, big hair and to much makeup , I was so jelouse of the girls on top of the pops , then culture club came on the seen and I was smittened xx |
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"Sometimes I think our brains are not wired directly to our bodies, I haven’t put this very well, what I mean is the soul is more feminine, but your born in a male body
As a kid I used to have a dream about being caught by girls who dress me in their clothes, but I get transformed into a proper girl, I repressed this and became very much a mans man, but Stella still came from within me..
This is true, the girl stays in you forever, as if the fight against it makes you try and be more manly and you suppress emotions.
It was only when I got older that I accepted "chloe" and embraced the pleasure she gives me. Xx "
That is spot on.
I think some of us, always knew that we are feminine born in a masculine body and we only venture into the other half of us once we are comfortable enough, not only for our own sake, but our loved ones as well.
|
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"It would be an old black and white movie that my father let me stay up and watch one night that had a transvestite in it..
Spent some time trying to work out what film that was? I will keep looking.
All of our inspirations come from so many difrent things. When I was young it was the late 70s and nutty 80s, big hair and to much makeup , I was so jelouse of the girls on top of the pops , then culture club came on the seen and I was smittened xx "
It was psycho... |
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By *hloevt OP TV/TS
over a year ago
norwich |
"It would be an old black and white movie that my father let me stay up and watch one night that had a transvestite in it..
Spent some time trying to work out what film that was? I will keep looking.
All of our inspirations come from so many difrent things. When I was young it was the late 70s and nutty 80s, big hair and to much makeup , I was so jelouse of the girls on top of the pops , then culture club came on the seen and I was smittened xx
It was psycho... "
Norman Bates, the most famous black and white film tranny !!
Amazing film but to get inspiration from it is a bit scary , lol xx xxx |
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"I saw that
I don't know where mine came from, my very first memory is me wearing a pair of my mums silky knickers, I guess I was about 2 or 3 but I don't know. I certainly didn't used to think of the girl side of me as someone different, it was just me, I suppose when I looked in the mirror I saw a boy and it was a bit like looking at a different person to what I expected to see.
I did used to think when I saw something pretty that I would love to own it, in school I used to love the girls uniform. I suppose it was about that time my sister started giving me her cast offs, she was cool and seemed to understand about me somehow. I had long hair in those days so I went out with her a few times at night which was one of the happiest times of my life.
Then when I was about 14 I, with my sister's help decided to tell my mother who didn't understand at all, she went completely ballistic and since then it became a dirty little secret, my dad never knew. I never felt any different, I was still a girl inside I just hid it. I suppose I'm very fortunate that I have enough maleness if that's the right expression to be able to mostly live with presenting as male to the world.
The male part of me is very different to Christine, a very different outlook on life free of the crap that has built up inside the male side"
God bless you girl  |
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Mine started early teens, similar to most. I started wearing borrowed clothes, dresses, tights and bras.
I my early teens I used to wear knickers to school under my clothes, praying that no one noticed. But it felt normal to wear them at the time.
In my late teens I bought my own lingerie and wore that to college, i was doing an engineering course so wore overalls most of the time. So they hid any tell tale bra straps or suspender belt clips. I also started wondering what it would be like to be with a man, the fantasy was erotic but my male side wouldn't allow me to give in.
In my twenties I worked nights as a security officer, so sometimes wore a skirt and stockings at night. The uniform was white shirtand grey trousers, so I found a matching skirt. It felt nice to wear the lingerie, shirt, skirt without a wig as no one would see my.
My thirties I finally tried my bisexual side, I was as nervous as hell. It felt natural to be sucking another trannies cock, also quite enjoyable to be fucked by her as well.
I have since then gone to a translife event in brighton, driven dressed in a car quite a bit.
Just not good enough to go shopping as a woman, but you never know. |
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"Mine started early teens, similar to most. I started wearing borrowed clothes, dresses, tights and bras.
I my early teens I used to wear knickers to school under my clothes, praying that no one noticed. But it felt normal to wear them at the time.
In my late teens I bought my own lingerie and wore that to college, i was doing an engineering course so wore overalls most of the time. So they hid any tell tale bra straps or suspender belt clips. I also started wondering what it would be like to be with a man, the fantasy was erotic but my male side wouldn't allow me to give in.
In my twenties I worked nights as a security officer, so sometimes wore a skirt and stockings at night. The uniform was white shirtand grey trousers, so I found a matching skirt. It felt nice to wear the lingerie, shirt, skirt without a wig as no one would see my.
My thirties I finally tried my bisexual side, I was as nervous as hell. It felt natural to be sucking another trannies cock, also quite enjoyable to be fucked by her as well.
I have since then gone to a translife event in brighton, driven dressed in a car quite a bit.
Just not good enough to go shopping as a woman, but you never know."
Bizarrely enough it's actually a lot easier buying women's clothes while dressed than it is doing it as a man. |
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By *hloevt OP TV/TS
over a year ago
norwich |
"Mine started early teens, similar to most. I started wearing borrowed clothes, dresses, tights and bras.
I my early teens I used to wear knickers to school under my clothes, praying that no one noticed. But it felt normal to wear them at the time.
In my late teens I bought my own lingerie and wore that to college, i was doing an engineering course so wore overalls most of the time. So they hid any tell tale bra straps or suspender belt clips. I also started wondering what it would be like to be with a man, the fantasy was erotic but my male side wouldn't allow me to give in.
In my twenties I worked nights as a security officer, so sometimes wore a skirt and stockings at night. The uniform was white shirtand grey trousers, so I found a matching skirt. It felt nice to wear the lingerie, shirt, skirt without a wig as no one would see my.
My thirties I finally tried my bisexual side, I was as nervous as hell. It felt natural to be sucking another trannies cock, also quite enjoyable to be fucked by her as well.
I have since then gone to a translife event in brighton, driven dressed in a car quite a bit.
Just not good enough to go shopping as a woman, but you never know.
Bizarrely enough it's actually a lot easier buying women's clothes while dressed than it is doing it as a man. "
I find shopping and buying clothes the fun bit, but once again it has been a story of time for me to be confident enough to do it.
My first purchase was 30 years ago, heart beating out of my chest, in a panic inside but I bought the prettiest skirt, still don't know why I was so scared but I remember rushing home to slip it on, felt amazing and it was mine.
Now I love my days out shopping in male or tv mode.
Wish I was this confident back then, now I will go into any shop and buy anything.
But God I have also bought some truly dredfull outfits over my time as Chloe,
I also had days that I would go to work or just out with stockings and silk under my man clothes.
Now Chloe and her male side are kept very separate.
Xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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At school I had more girl friends than boys, wore my hair long and was laughed at by boys in the canteen for nibbling on salad sandwiches rather than wolfing down burger and chips. It may not say much, but I just wasnt one of the boys and they saw that in me x |
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By *hloevt OP TV/TS
over a year ago
norwich |
"At school I had more girl friends than boys, wore my hair long and was laughed at by boys in the canteen for nibbling on salad sandwiches rather than wolfing down burger and chips. It may not say much, but I just wasnt one of the boys and they saw that in me x"
This is were we differ , Chloe is a greedy girl in restaurants as well as in clubs, lol.
Anything a boy done that was slightly girly in the 80s and you was guaranteed a kicking, but strangely the pop stars back then looked more like girls than the girls did !! Xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I saw that
I don't know where mine came from, my very first memory is me wearing a pair of my mums silky knickers, I guess I was about 2 or 3 but I don't know. I certainly didn't used to think of the girl side of me as someone different, it was just me, I suppose when I looked in the mirror I saw a boy and it was a bit like looking at a different person to what I expected to see.
I did used to think when I saw something pretty that I would love to own it, in school I used to love the girls uniform. I suppose it was about that time my sister started giving me her cast offs, she was cool and seemed to understand about me somehow. I had long hair in those days so I went out with her a few times at night which was one of the happiest times of my life.
Then when I was about 14 I, with my sister's help decided to tell my mother who didn't understand at all, she went completely ballistic and since then it became a dirty little secret, my dad never knew. I never felt any different, I was still a girl inside I just hid it. I suppose I'm very fortunate that I have enough maleness if that's the right expression to be able to mostly live with presenting as male to the world.
The male part of me is very different to Christine, a very different outlook on life free of the crap that has built up inside the male side
God bless you girl "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I remember ‘the thrill’ of certain clothing elements from a very young age, 7 onwards perhaps.
I actively wanted to dress in my teens, I remember becoming a road cyclist at 15 just as an excuse to shave my legs. By 17 I was dressing fully in secret and would make my first moves to venture out into Soho.
I agree with the sentiments of ‘joy’ and ‘curse’, there’s been days where I’ve hated myself, Charli has been thrown out of my life on set occasions but has always returned.
With age I found peace, I liken it to being an actor or perhaps a comedian... life can be complicated but when ‘on stage’ there is a feeling of belonging, an energy which actually drives existence. It’s absolutely a part of me and I know now I always had to embrace it.
I’ve seen some horrible things as Charli, experienced hatred from some that nobody deserves, I’ve seen a number of friends choose to depart this earth as the complexity of their being was too difficult to bear. Trans is not a tag I’d wish on anyone in truth, it’s not an easy path but if you are within the spectrum then I would say embracing it is the only route to happiness and fulfilment.
Charli
X
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think you are all incredible, reading each story made my eyes water. I think you all look amazing and dress beautifully, I wish I looked as feminine as you all. You dress so beautifully and have incredible figures. Sending cyber hugs out to you all xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is a very good piece of writing. There is a MAJOR difference between cd/TV and trans men/women that I don't think has been written about on here. I identify as a woman and also likes women. I understand that many cd/TV people on here have had too keep a lid on their feelings for what they know that society knows is something that they think is a perversion. I am lucky (I think), that I knew that when I was 8 years old that I was 'different', and that I should have been born with female parts not male. I knew that for me, wearing boy clothing was not for me. I felt that it wasn't my clothing:I knew that I was/am female and should be dressing in tops and skirts. Things these days still are difficult for lgbt people, but always remember that we're not weird/strange/freaks or whatever. We're in your in your community, and we're not going to move any time soon. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is a very good piece of writing. There is a MAJOR difference between cd/TV and trans men/women that I don't think has been written about on here. I identify as a woman and also likes women. I understand that many cd/TV people on here have had too keep a lid on their feelings for what they know that society knows is something that they think is a perversion. I am lucky (I think), that I knew that when I was 8 years old that I was 'different', and that I should have been born with female parts not male. I knew that for me, wearing boy clothing was not for me. I felt that it wasn't my clothing:I knew that I was/am female and should be dressing in tops and skirts. Things these days still are difficult for lgbt people, but always remember that we're not weird/strange/freaks or whatever. We're in your in your community, and we're not going to move any time soon. "
I’d beg to differ on the trans/cd/tv MAJOR differences. We are all part of the same collective and just have different levels of emotion connected to each desire or need but simply put we are all experiencing the same emotions. I have done this scene for coming up to 30 years, I have for the past few also done outreach work for a well know organisation supporting the trans community and the thing I would say is any ‘girl’ I have met is unique yet the common behaviours exist in us all. You can extend that to female to male trans males too.
For my 2 pence the divisions created by many trans women actually hold us back as a social grouping. We often see elitism, separation of each group and it’s no surprise that although the movement for LGBT rights was actually started by us at stonewall we have slipped right to the bottom of the pile in terms of acceptance and progression.
A CD will progress... he may ‘borrow’ some knickers, in time he may invest, collect a small bag etc, he may dress more in secret, add a wig, try makeup etc... he may not demand his rights as a trans woman but that’s a personal choice based on their level of need or life situation. It’s important to understand though that that need and progression is fuelled by the same spectrum that we all share.
Charli x |
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By *hloevt OP TV/TS
over a year ago
norwich |
"I think you are all incredible, reading each story made my eyes water. I think you all look amazing and dress beautifully, I wish I looked as feminine as you all. You dress so beautifully and have incredible figures. Sending cyber hugs out to you all xx"
That is so sweet, many of us girls put a massive amount of effort in, often using makeup tricks and little dress secrets that we learn over the years.
It is truly deeper that the look on the outside, for me the feeling of warmth and elation I get when I feel pretty is just the best.
Xx Chloe xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Reading these stories has been sooo deep and interesting and moving. I didn t realise I had different sides to me until 5 years ago when I started to get dangerously close to the end of my road thanks to flashbacks and memories going back to a very early age. I always knew I was different but I didn't give it much thought as I was too busy raging against the world..seriously and dangerously..again I never saw myself raging..I just saw myself as not liking the world..simples. Now it gets complex..I left everything behind 4 years ago..friends, family EVERYTHING and isolated myself for 3 years, living in my 4x4 in a woodland I managed. Oh fk this is too much to say..long n short my traumatised child built mechanisms, walls...sides..to me. Turns out I have a female side..a very strong female side that has been my strength..I don't give her a name, but I bear such strong female characteristics and love female clothing..not so short..sorry..think I ll stop now |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Grrrrr re. .for 4 years she has kept me calm and strong but recently my trust in people took a knock...so now, once again I ve buried her..guess I blame her for being too giving..my military has kicked back in..so confusing  |
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I bunked off school one day in the mid seventies. I went to a local park as I needed the loo. There was a elderly man who sidled close to me, he was stroking his cock. He asked me if I fancied going back to his place. I hesitated and then he offered me 20 No.6, I said 40 and he agreed. When we got to his place he presented a bag of clothes and asked me if I would like to dress in them. I sorted through them, after all I was getting cigarettes for doing it. I chose things I thought were nice. He never touched me, just asked me to walk up and down while he banged one out. I have been dressing ever since |
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"Mine started early teens, similar to most. I started wearing borrowed clothes, dresses, tights and bras.
I my early teens I used to wear knickers to school under my clothes, praying that no one noticed. But it felt normal to wear them at the time.
In my late teens I bought my own lingerie and wore that to college, i was doing an engineering course so wore overalls most of the time. So they hid any tell tale bra straps or suspender belt clips. I also started wondering what it would be like to be with a man, the fantasy was erotic but my male side wouldn't allow me to give in.
In my twenties I worked nights as a security officer, so sometimes wore a skirt and stockings at night. The uniform was white shirtand grey trousers, so I found a matching skirt. It felt nice to wear the lingerie, shirt, skirt without a wig as no one would see my.
My thirties I finally tried my bisexual side, I was as nervous as hell. It felt natural to be sucking another trannies cock, also quite enjoyable to be fucked by her as well.
I have since then gone to a translife event in brighton, driven dressed in a car quite a bit.
Just not good enough to go shopping as a woman, but you never know.
Bizarrely enough it's actually a lot easier buying women's clothes while dressed than it is doing it as a man. "
That bit doesn't bother me, as I often buy stuff when I am picking up a few bits in the supermarket. Or I buy stuff on amazon, then get it delivered to the amazon collection point. |
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